by Jerilee Kaye
I narrowed my eyes and gave him a playful jab in the stomach.
“Ouch!” he said, but he only squeezed my shoulder tighter. “So tell me. What is it about that bed that you found so utterly offensive it made you cry so hard?”
I stared at my painting, leaned my head in Travis’s shoulder, and heaved a sigh. “The whole town is talking about me. It’s embarrassing!”
He was thoughtful for a moment, and then he said, “What’s embarrassing about not being a slut?”
I stared up at him. “You heard?” He didn’t answer. I pulled away from him. “Then I’m truly dead! Travis Cross, the guy who cares the least about campus gossip, heard about my untouched virtue—then everybody must know! Trip must know!”
He snorted. “If I were Jacobs, I would be…proud. My hot girlfriend is not a slut.”
Now I smiled. “Really?”
He shrugged. “If I were Jacobs. But I’m not. So I can’t speak for the guy.”
And somehow, I was positive that if Travis, who was a ruthless rake at the age of eighteen, could think that, then my gentler boyfriend would definitely think that way…maybe even more so.
“What are you doing here, anyway?” I asked him.
He shrugged. He walked over to the rails of my balcony and stared at the houses in front of mine. “This used to be my second home,” he murmured. There was pain in his voice.
“You don’t come here anymore.”
“Your living room has less light than it used to have.”
I nodded. “Yes. We don’t have dinners together anymore. It’s not like before.”
“Where are your parents?”
I sighed. “Mom’s opened a new branch in Manhattan. Dad’s…probably with his mistress.” Yes, my mother tried to play dumb about my father’s conquests—I was less tolerant.
Travis stared at me for a moment and then asked, “Cook your famous meatloaf for me?”
When Tom was alive, we had Meatloaf Friday. I would cook and we would all sit and enjoy dinner together…as a complete family, including Travis.
I stared up at Travis. I knew we were thinking of the same thing. And I realized it was Friday today. Tears filled my eyes. The more I looked at Travis, the more I remembered Thomas…and how happy this family had been.
Travis’s eyes were also teary. He reached out and wiped my cheeks with his fingers. Then he gave me a hug. I wound my arms around his waist and cried against his chest…for the happy family that I used to have…for the wonderful brother who left me.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered to me. “I shouldn’t have asked.”
I shook my head and pulled away from him. “No. It’s okay. Remembering him doesn’t mean we haven’t moved on. You promised him you’d take care of me. I’ll do what I can to look out for you, too—not that you need it.” I giggled humorlessly. “This will always be your second home, Travis. You can come and go as you like. Thomas would want that.”
He smiled, then leaned forward and gave me a kiss on the forehead.
I took his hand in mine. “Come. Our dining table has been unoccupied for a very long time. And I haven’t cooked meatloaf in years.”
Chapter Six
Prom was a month away and my relationship with Trip was getting deeper. He was making some moves to be more intimate, and I was becoming more open to his advances.
We were making out in his car one night. He nuzzled my neck and started to reach behind me to unhook my bra. I pushed him slightly.
“Trip…wait,” I said gently. “Can we wait? Prom?”
He looked at me for a while and then he nodded. “You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s your…first time. It shouldn’t be in the back of a car.” He chuckled, then he leaned forward and gave me a smack on the lips.
“Thank you,” I said.
He turned to start the car. He was quiet the rest of the way, and somehow I wasn’t sure what he was thinking.
He stopped in front of my house. “Good night.” He smiled at me. “So, I guess prom night’s it for us?”
I smiled at him shyly and then I nodded. In my mind, I was thinking he’d rent a hotel suite where we could spend the night, candles and roses all over the place. It would be romantic. It would be a night I would remember for the rest of my life.
I was dreamy when I got home. I took a long bath in jasmine soap. I dreamt of how it was going to be for me and Trip. After Prom, nobody would accuse that something was wrong with me.
I dried my hair and put on purple pajama bottoms and a pink sleeveless top. I should remember to stop by a lingerie shop before prom, I thought. Maybe a Victoria’s Secret nightgown would come in handy for me in the future.
I dialed Trip’s number as I lay on my bed. It was busy. I tried about ten times, but it was still busy. I decided to wait ten more minutes, then I tried again, but he didn’t pick up. I decided I was going to wait fifteen minutes more, but I dozed off.
In my dreams, I dreamt of candles and roses while Enya played in the background. He kissed me gently, thoroughly, and then he took my clothes off. I couldn’t see his face, but I was pretty sure it was Trip. He’d been so gentle with me. He knew it was my first time. Then there was a tearing pain. He held me in his arms gently. He told me he was sorry for hurting me. He was so sweet I couldn’t help falling for him more and more.
Just then, I woke up. I found myself lying in my bed alone. I looked at the time. It was past midnight already. I looked at my phone to see if Trip had returned my calls, but he hadn’t.
I caught a flash of movement in front of me. There was a figure on my couch. I turned on the lamp beside my bed and found Travis sitting on the couch at the foot of my bed, his eyes closed.
I got up from the bed and approached him. He had kicked off his rubber shoes and draped his jacket on the arm of the couch.
“Travis,” I whispered. He let out a little moan but didn’t wake up. “Travis,” I said a little louder.
He moved a little and then finally he opened his eyes. He looked at me for a moment and then he said, “Hi.”
“What are you doing here?”
“My father’s home,” he replied. “He wanted to talk to me about university options.”
“And?”
“I’ve made up my mind where I’m going,” he said. “I left the house. His bodyguards are out looking for me.”
“And you came here?”
“This is the last place they would look. Since Thomas has been gone, they don’t think I come here anymore. I hope you don’t mind if I stay here until morning.”
“Of course not,” I said. “But why in my bedroom? You have a room in this house, Travis,” I said, pointing toward the bathroom that connects my room to the guestroom—Travis’s.
He smiled at me bitterly. “Nah! Too many memories, cherie. Your house reminds me of Tom a lot. Except for your room. We never hung out together here. And right now, I don’t really want to feel like I have no one.”
“You don’t have no one, Travis. You have me,” I said to him.
He nodded. “I know. That’s why I’m here.”
I went to my cabinet. I pulled thicker blankets out and handed them to him. “Here, use these.”
“Thanks,” he murmured.
“Won’t they notice that your car is in the driveway?”
He shook his head. “I didn’t bring a car. I walked.”
I went back to my bed and checked once more if Trip had sent me anything. Still, there was nothing.
“Goodnight, Travis,” I said.
“Goodnight. Thanks for letting me stay,” he said. “I was almost afraid you would kick me out.”
I giggled. “I would never do that. You can come here anytime you want. How did you get in, by the way?”
“I climbed up from your balcony. Your sliding door is unlocked. That’s not right, Brianne. Anybody could have come here and broken in.”
“You should be happy I forgot to lock up. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have been able to come in.”
&n
bsp; “My refuge is not as important as your virtue, cherie,” he murmured. “Please promise me you won’t forget to lock your doors from now on?”
I smiled at him, and then I closed my eyes. “I promise.”
When I woke up the next day, I found that Travis had gone. He neatly folded the blankets he used and placed them on the couch. On top of the blankets, I found a note saying, “Thank you, cherie. But please remember what you promised me.”
I smiled, feeling the bond that I now shared with Travis. Right then, it was difficult to remember why I hadn’t gotten along well with him when Thomas was still alive. I wished Thomas had been able to see us like this.
***
By the end of that week, I was looking for Travis in school. It was difficult since we barely saw each other on campus. In fact, not many people knew we were still speaking to each other. They knew Travis and Thomas were inseparable. But since Thomas had gone, Travis had been a loner. He did show up to a beach party a couple of years before to give my ex a shiner he deserved, but other than that, he was barely visible.
He came to attend his classes and he aced all of them. But he didn’t hang out with anyone. He was almost anti-social. Except for some girls he ‘casually’ hung out with.
By the end of the day, there was still no sign of Travis, so I just decided to go to the counselor’s office to ask where his locker was located.
“Travis? Travis Cross?” the student assistant asked with a blush on her face. I didn’t have to be a genius to guess why she was blushing violently at the mention of his name.
“Yes,” I said trying to keep my voice at level.
She flipped through her files and then gave me the locker number.
“Thank you.”
I rushed with Cindy to where Travis’s locker was, hoping to catch him there.
“Why don’t you just call him?” Cindy asked.
“Tried. His phone is off,” I replied.
Finally, I located his locker, but there was no sign of him. I decided to leave the keys I duplicated the day before in a small envelope and taped it to the front of his locker.
I wrote a note: I’m keeping my promise. :-)
I promised to keep all the doors locked from then on, but I also meant what I’d said to him that he could come to our house any time he pleased. Travis just appeared out of nowhere most of the time. Usually, it was the times he felt most alone or upset that he chose to come…to find some peace, some comfort, some… family. I wanted to do for him what Thomas would have done had he lived. Like the way Travis was looking out for me, the way that Thomas would have.
I waited by the parking lot for Trip. Cindy waited for her boyfriend, Allan, who was also a member of the basketball team.
“What was that you left at Travis’s locker?”
“House keys,” I replied. “To my front door, my room, and my balcony.”
“Wow! Why would you do that? With a sweet note that you would keep your promise? You guys sound like you are having a secret affair or something.” Cindy kept her tone very low. The last time we talked in public, my virginity was advertised on the Campus Bulletin Board.
“Don’t be silly! Once in a while, he comes to my house,” I said. “Last Friday, I found him sleeping on my couch when I woke up in the middle of the night.”
“What?” Cindy asked. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Why? He just breaks in to your room?”
“I forgot to lock my balcony door. Anyway, he made me promise to lock up all the time, but that would also mean he wouldn’t be able to come in any time he pleased. Travis has some issues with his dad. I’m the only family he has. He’s looking out for me. That is the least I can do to make his life easy.”
“Thomas could have been the one looking out for you,” Cindy said sadly.
“Travis promised my brother that he’d take care of me. I’m not going to make it difficult for him.”
“How cool is it to wake up and find Travis Cross sleeping on your bedroom couch?” When I looked at Cindy, she looked star-struck.
“Wipe off that drool, here comes your boyfriend!” I whispered to her, seeing her new boyfriend, Allan, approach us.
She scowled at me, and then she smiled sweetly at Allan.
“Where’s Trip?” I asked.
Allan looked dumbfounded and looked behind him. “He…was with me and then…I lost him.”
Cindy got on her tiptoes and gave him a thorough kiss. I looked away from them. I checked around for signs of Trip.
“How are you getting home, Brianne?” Allan asked.
“I’ll wait for Trip. He usually meets me here,” I replied.
“He might have scooted already,” he said. “I was the last in the locker room.”
I fished my phone from my pocket and dialed Trip’s number. It was off.
“Nevertheless, I’ll wait a while. He might turn up. He always does.”
It was thirty minutes after Cindy left with Allan, and there was still no sign of Trip. The parking lot was almost empty now. I decided to take a walk home, still trying Trip’s number.
When I rounded the corner, I found his car parked just outside the campus. I looked inside, but it was empty and his gym bag wasn’t there, either, which meant he was still inside.
I walked back and headed toward the gym.
I stood by the entrance of the locker room, but it was quiet, which meant nobody was there anymore. I decided to head out, dialing Trip’s number again. This time it rang. It took me a moment to realize that I could also hear his phone ringing from inside the girls’ locker room.
My heart pounded in my chest as I tiptoed in.
“Don’t answer it!” I heard a girl moaning. “Who is it, anyway?”
“Nobody,” Trip’s familiar voice said. “Now, where were we before we were rudely interrupted?”
“You were right on this spot.” And then there was a giggle, followed by a series of moans.
I followed their voices, tiptoeing as quietly as I could. Then finally I reached the end of the row of lockers. I peeked and found Trip with a blonde whom I recognized to be one of the cheerleaders. They were naked. She was lying on a bench and he was on top of her.
The image was so vivid, so clear, it couldn’t have been painted as anything else. They were having sex. And it was nothing like what I pictured in my mind. What they were doing was…rough…animalistic.
“What about your girlfriend? Have you successfully popped her?” the girl asked.
“Prom night is the night, baby.”
She laughed. “Too bad for you, then. She’ll want you to be gentle.”
“Oh no,” Trip said. “I’ll teach her how to be rough the first time around!”
“Oh, poor girl. I’ll bet she’ll cry. “Where do you plan to do her anyway?”
“We’re all going to Michael Hornby’s place. His parents are away. I reserved a room in their servant’s quarters for my precious Virgin Mary! Hang around Mikee’s after prom. I’d like to have fun after I’m done with her.”
At that point, I thought I’d seen and heard enough. But I refused to be the only person embarrassed to be in that room. So I showed myself to them.
“Don’t worry. You can have all the fun you want with her! I don’t want your filthy body ever touching mine!” I said angrily.
They were both startled as they realized I’d been watching them all that time.
“Oh my God, Brianne!” Trip said, blood draining from his face.
“You’ll never get the chance to sleep with me, Trip Jacobs!” I said. “Goodbye!”
I stormed out. Because I was so mad, I broke the fire alarm window and pulled the plug down, setting off alarms across the whole campus. Problem kids did this all the time at our school and they went unpunished. At least I was breaking the alarm to report a violation happening inside the girls’ locker room.
I couldn’t believe what I had seen and heard. How could he? And I fancied myself in love with him! The words he said about
me…they were degrading! Did he think I was low like those girls who snuck into the locker rooms to have sex with him? I thought he was the one! I thought this relationship would last forever.
When I looked back at the gym again, guards were running toward the entrance to the locker room. Serves them right if they get caught in their underwear!
I was blinded by tears as I walked out of the campus. I didn’t expect Trip to follow me. I believed he was busy putting his pants on in front of the campus guards.
Suddenly, a car slowed down beside me and stopped a few feet ahead. It was a luxurious Bentley, and I wasn’t sure if the driver was waiting until the car plate caught my eye:
TJCROSS
Suddenly, relief washed all over me. I ran toward the car. The passenger door opened from inside as soon as I reached it. I hopped in and found Travis staring at my tear-stricken face.
“When can I come and find you and you won’t have tears on your face?” he asked quietly.
I giggled humorlessly and realized that lately, whenever I’d cried my heart out, Travis was the first person to find me.
“What is it this time?” he asked.
I shook my head. I couldn’t help myself—I leaned forward and gave him a hug. I felt his arms wrap around me.
“Sshhh…” he whispered. “You’re safe now.”
It was a couple of minutes more when my tears subsided. I was resting my head on Travis’s shoulder.
“I got your keys,” he said quietly.
“I’ve been looking for you all day,” I said. “Your phone is off.”
“Sorry, cherie,” he said. “My…father was calling me non-stop.”
“College options?”
He nodded.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“Have you decided where you’re going?”
I shook my head.
“Then I’ll tell you when you’ve decided,” he said.
A car sped past us. It seemed that the driver was in such a hurry he almost hit the tree in front of us.
“Isn’t that supposed to be your ride?” Travis asked me.
I sighed and remembered the pain in my chest again. “Not anymore,” I whispered.