Thinking about Lily made the hole in her stomach widen just a bit. She was worried sick about her friend. They had let her go in to see her for a few minutes after she was settled in the little room with the glass walls. One of the nurses had even let her bring Gaia with her for just a moment, even though it was against the rules. She looked so pale and tiny covered in a blanket. Her face was drawn, and she didn't move - not even when Gaia curled up against her side. There were strange boxes all around her along with lines between her arms and bags of liquid hanging nearby. It was confusing, but she had to believe they knew what they were doing. Before they left, Breeze assured the sleeping woman that she remembered her promise and would make sure that Gaia was taken care of and never harmed.
Because of that promise, she was now sitting in the bathroom of a hotel room - a room she was sharing with a man who she barely knew. He was a stranger, someone she should be wary of, but instead she felt drawn to him. Every time he looked at her, it stirred emotional feelings inside her. He was caring, sensitive, and treated her kindly. Mentally pushing away thoughts of Lolly's father, she concentrated on her mother. Thinking of Lily made her wonder anew why she was so adamant to leave Home under cover of night when the Family was asleep, taking no more than some water and food with her.
Breeze had once asked her why she didn't simply tell Mother she wanted to leave. It wasn't like Family hadn't left before. There were a couple of people who found their life not to their liking and Mother had let them go with her blessing, so why wouldn't Lily just ask to go? When she asked Lily during their trek, she had frowned at the question and nodded toward the child happily sitting on the ground playing a game with two sticks she had found.
"Do you think Mother would have let her go?"
The question had surprised her. "Why wouldn't Mother have let you go?"
"Think about it, Breeze. I know you have been with the Family your entire life, but think about what you know and how she's treated. How many little girls are given the name she was? Did you see any of the other children continuously separated from their parents?"
Breeze hadn't thought about it until then. She knew Mother had plans for Gaia and she had heard rumors that Lily and Mother had often argued about her. They were a peaceful community, living in harmony with all that was nature. What Lily was hinting at was beyond anything that Breeze would even entertain.
Remembering the conversation, Breeze shook herself. No matter if she were Home or here, she had an obligation to uphold. Now it was time to get herself pulled together and do her duty. She was only a Wind, but she could and would do this.
Standing, she took several deep breaths then began the mantra taught to her as a small child.
I am one with the Sky; my mind is clear as the air in which gives me life.
I am one with the Water; my body is clean as the sea which gives me life.
I am one with the Earth; my spirit is unwavering as the ground which gives me life.
I am one with the Fire; my heart burns with the desire to become one with all that gives me life.
My Spirit is free, and I am one with the world.
The world is one with me.
Unlike normal, the warring emotions inside didn't calm, so she took in several cleansing breaths and repeated it a second and then a third time. Opening her eyes, she frowned when the cool calm didn't flood her soul. Perhaps it only worked when she was touching the elements instead of only reciting them by rote. She was cut off from her source of peace, after all.
Or perhaps the questions Lily had put in her mind kept the calming peace at bay. A niggling little doubt in the back of her mind said it had nothing to do with the elements.
Sarah. You have to get used to calling her, Sarah. And Gaia is Lolly. We aren't Home now. If you keep calling them different names, people are going to keep treating you differently. And Finch likes it when you use their other names.
She took a deep breath and stepped out of the bathroom.
"Are you all right?"
Well, that was the question, wasn't it? Was she all right? No, not entirely, but that didn't mean she had to stay that way. True, everything was strange and different here, but she was a Wind and could accept whatever came. Not only that, she had a duty to Sarah and to Lolly. She promised to keep the child safe, and if that meant she stepped out from her comfort zone, so be it. Breeze smiled tightly at Finch and nodded. "Just a little overwhelmed. Everything is so different and new here." She glanced to where Gaia was eating a dark brown pie with a spoon. Picking up a napkin, she gently wiped the smudges from her cheeks.
"No, Bees, mine!"
"You're supposed to eat the pie, not breathe it," Finch teased her gently.
Gaia -- no, Lolly frowned but let her finish cleaning her face. When she was done, Breeze slipped into the chair and tucked the shirt around her bare legs. "At least she seems to be doing well."
"Kids are resilient," he said with a knowing smile. "The first time I held her, I was terrified. There I was, a big bad Navy SEAL who went into some of the worst places on Earth and seen some of the horrors man perpetrated against his fellow humans without a thought about it, yet this tiny little thirty-pound human made me shake in my boots. I thought she would break if I breathed on her too hard. Sarah laughed at me. She said I was holding her like she was made of spun glass. Just to prove her point, she took Lolly and tossed her in the air. I swear my heart dropped to my feet and I started to sweat. Lolly just laughed as her mother caught her then tickled her as she wriggled on the ground. She told me then that Lolly was tougher than she was and that she knew without a shadow of a doubt that I would never do anything to hurt her. She asked Lolly, 'Who is that?' Lolly looked straight at me and said, 'Daddy.' Sarah made sure Lolly knew who I was even before I knew I was a father. Then, right before they disappeared, Sarah asked Lolly, 'What do Daddies do?' She smiled so big and said, 'Daddies love their babies and profeck them.' I knew she meant 'protect,' but it didn't matter. When she looked at me with such absolute certainty, I was lost. That little girl had my heart wrapped around her tiny finger, and there's nothing I wouldn't do to keep her safe. When they disappeared, it about killed me. I spent every minute I could trying to find them." He reached over and clasped Breeze's hand in his. "You made sure they came back to me. I owe you everything, Breeze. You kept my baby safe, and you got Sarah help. Anything you ever need, you ask. It's yours."
The fluttering in her stomach when he touched her hand increased with his kind words. Looking at his hand, Breeze felt the warmth spread through her body. It was so much larger than hers, covering them completely until not even her nails were seen. She licked her dry lips and swallowed. "Thank you," she whispered.
"Why are you thanking me? I'm in your debt."
She forced her gaze up, searching his face to see the gentle warmth there. "For letting me stay here with her. I was afraid I'd never see her again."
He squeezed her hand. "You're welcome. I can tell you care for Lolly very much. Were you her nanny?"
"Nanny?"
"A nanny is someone who takes care of children when the parents can't."
Breeze nodded enthusiastically. "Yes. I took care of the children. I'm a nanny."
"Do you want a piece of pie? Peanut butter is my favorite flavor, and this is good."
"I guess so. I've never had it before."
He raised his eyebrow in shock. "You've never had peanut butter before? That's a crime in itself." He cut her a piece and placed it on a plate. "Even in the middle of the desert, I could get my peanut butter craving taken care of. The shit in the MREs isn't the best quality, but it's okay."
"Daddy! You said a bad word!"
Finch chuckled and roughed his daughter's hair. "You got me, Lolly-pop. Daddy's sorry. I promise to try harder." He grinned as he watched her lick the last of her pie off her spoon. "That reminds me. When you meet your Uncle Toad, I'll have to get you some earplugs."
"Your brother is a frog?" Breeze had that feeling of uncertain
ty again.
Finch threw his head back and laughed hard. "No. I don't have any biological brothers. I do have two sisters, Ella and Constance, who are younger than me. They're backpacking in Europe, much to my mom's dismay. Toad's name is actually Reese. It's a nickname, like Lorelei's is Lolly and mine is Finch. He's a member of my SEAL team. You met Railroad. There's also Bruiser, Hick, and Cowboy. Is that better?"
Everything whirled around in Breeze's mind like a tornado. It was confusing to her but she was afraid to ask for clarification because she liked Finch and she didn't want him to think she was stupid. Instead, she simply nodded and took a bite of the pie. Raising her head in surprise as the flavor burst on her tongue, she forgot her manners. "Oh, Mother," she exclaimed almost losing the bite in the process. Slapping her hand over her mouth, she grinned when both Gaia... Lolly and Finch laughed at her reaction. "This is pie? I've never had any that didn't have fruit in it. It's almost better than cheese."
"Told you it was good," he said smugly then took another bite for himself.
Breeze used her fork to split a bit of the pie into its different colors, guessing each was a separate flavor. She then tried each bit, starting with the dark brown top. It was sweet but not as much as the overall. Swallowing she pointed to it. "What is that?"
"Chocolate?" Finch smirked at her as he licked his fork then pointed to it. "I never thought I would see the day someone wouldn't know what chocolate is. That's Lolly's favorite, isn't it?"
"Yush." She leaned over, about to stick her finger into the remainder of the treat. Finch stopped her just in time.
"No, Ma'am," he admonished. Picking up a damp cloth, he quickly washed her face and hands. "Little monkey! Go, watch the end of your movie. We'll get your bath in a bit."
"Okay, Daddy." She slid off the chair and climbed up onto the bed. Wiggling back until her head was propped on a pillow, she soon fell quiet as she watched her show.
Turning back, he pointed to the light brown center. "That's the peanut butter. Well, it's not just peanut butter. It has sugar, vanilla, and some other stuff in there too. The crust is made from graham crackers." He motioned toward the last couple of slices. "Do you want another piece?"
She shook her head as she shoveled each part into her mouth. Chewing then swallowing, she grinned. "I like it, but if I eat any more, I'll pop."
He nodded then carefully replaced the lid. Licking his thumb, he stood and slid the rest into the tiny refrigerator against the wall. She hadn't ever seen one so small before - the one they used back Home to keep the perishables was much bigger than this one. She could see the last of their meal had already been placed inside.
Scraping the last bits from the plate, she licked the fork clean, then placed it in the garbage can. That was another first - plates that were thrown away instead of washed and reused. She remarked again on how unusual the Outside was.
Just as the program ended, there was a knock on the door. Finch opened it to find the woman from the hospital, Hayden, and two other women. Breeze remembered Sophie. Hayden introduced the second one as Erin.
Finch shook his head as the three women dropped several bags on the floor by the bed. "Did you leave anything for anyone else?"
Hayden rolled her eyes. "A few things. Adeline sends her regrets. She had something come up, so Sophie and Erin stepped in."
"No doggie?" Gaia craned her neck to look for Coco.
"I'm sorry, munchkin. The doggie had to go home. But..." Hayden dug in the bags and came up with a small furry toy. "Adeline wanted you to have your own." She handed the animal toy over.
Gaia grabbed it and hugged it to her chest. "Mine?"
"All yours," Erin agreed.
"What do you say, Lolly-pop?"
"Tank you." She grinned then ran over and hugged the legs of all three women.
"You're welcome." Erin smiled and hugged her back.
"Kid never met a stranger, eh?" Hayden watched her as she climbed back on the bed, hugging her new pet.
"Very few," Finch agreed.
"We got her s-s-some other toys, too. We didn't know what s-s-she liked, s-s-so we got a few different things." Sophie squatted beside the pile of bags and pulled things out. There were various toys and games along with a small mountain of clothes. They had even gotten her shampoo and bubble bath. Lolly grabbed the bottle and hugged it then began to tell her "doggie" that they were going to take a bath in the bubbles.
As Finch gently explained that doggie couldn't take a bath with her, Hayden picked up the last two bags and sat them on the bed beside Breeze. "These are for you. We didn't know your sizes so we only got a few things that I thought would fit you." She pulled out several shirts, both long and short sleeved. There were three pairs of pants and even a soft outfit Hayden called PJs. The last few items she didn't remove from the bag. "Undies," she whispered conspiratorially then leaned her head toward Finch.
Breeze blushed then quickly wrapped the bag up and slid under her knee. "Thank you, "she whispered.
"Welcome. Us ladies have to stick together. Let me know if they don't fit."
"I'm sure they are fine. I'm very grateful."
The girls stayed a few more minutes, playing with Lolly. When Hayden decided it was time to go, Finch picked up his wallet. She put a hand on his and shook her head.
"You need to let me pay you back."
"No need. All of our friends pitched in together. We wanted to do it for you and Lolly. You've spent your career sacrificing to keep others safe. We know what that means. I know what it means."
"Well, thank you again."
She nodded again then gathered the other women. Finch walked them out the door then locked it.
"So, Lolly-pop, ready to try out those bubbles?"
"Yush!" She jumped up and bounced on the bed, sending clothes and toys tumbling to the floor. Finch laughed and scooped her up, blowing a raspberry on her tummy.
"I splurburt you."
She blew one on his arm. "I splurburt you, too, Daddy." She stopped and wiggled until Finch put her down.
Breeze watched them through her lashes as she picked up the clothes, folded them and put them into a drawer.
Running over to Breeze, Lolly placed her little mouth on Breeze's bare knee and blew. "I splurburt you, Bees," and held her arm up.
Touched to be included in the sweet ritual, she gently blew a raspberry on her arm. "I splurburt you too, Lolly."
Finch gave them a knowing smile. "Let's go check out those bubbles."
"No, Daddy. Bees can do it."
Finch frowned slightly. "You don't want me helping you with a bath?"
Lolly shook her head and pulled on Breeze's fingers. "Wanna show Bees my bubbles. You hold my doggie, k? Then we sing Lolly's song."
"All right then." Finch sat on the bed and picked up the stuffed dog. He shook his head as the tiny terror dragged Breeze into the bathroom. "If you don't want to do it, I can," He called out.
"No, it's fine. I'm used to bathing her."
As she shut the door, she heard Finch sigh followed by "Guess we're both in the doghouse, Pooch."
Chapter 8
"Bees! Bees, Bees, Bees. I want panny cakes. Wake up!"
Breeze grunted and threw the covers off as Lolly continued to jump on the bed excitedly. Finch remembered that, like him, the little ball of energy was a morning person and rarely slept in. He watched the two out of the corner of his eye as he picked up the toys his daughter had strewn across the floor while waiting for Breeze to wake. He told her they had to wait until at least seven and it was now exactly one minute after.
"I'm awake," she mumbled, then sat up and ran her fingers through the tangle of hair around her head. Glancing at the window, she frowned. "I don't usually sleep past dawn. I guess I was more tired than I knew." She stretched, thrusting her arms over her head and arching her back. A sliver of pale thigh peeked out from under the edge of his shirt she wore. He had seen a pajama set in the clothes the women gave her, but she preferred to wear his shirt
instead. That thought did something to him, making his stomach shudder. He had a moment where he wondered if she would shiver as he ran his calloused fingers over the skin. Finch shook his head at the thought. Where had that come from?
Turning his back as she stood by the bed, he placed Lolly's doll on the table. Clearing his throat, he said, "Thanks for letting her cuddle with you last night. I guess I'm still a bit of a stranger with her. When she woke up crying for her mom, I wasn't sure what to do to calm her down."
"I don't mind. There were many times I rocked her to sleep when Sarah was busy elsewhere."
"What was that song you sang to her?"
"Song? Oh, you mean the mantra. It's not actually a song, just an affirmation we say back Home. I put a bit of a tune to it for the children's sake. It helps to calm them."
"I see."
They sat in quiet for several moments, seemingly lost in their own thoughts. Finch glanced over at Breeze and saw she wore a distressed expression. For some reason, that bothered him more than it should. "Are you okay? Breeze?"
She regained her composure and looked at him. "I’m just worried about Lily."
He sat on the floor next to her. "Yeah. Me too." He exhaled a breath, long and full of concern. They both looked at Lolly. Slowly, Breeze leaned into his side, seeking comfort. Without hesitation, Finch leaned back. For a quiet moment, they were alone, and she helped ease the heavy weight from his broad shoulders.
"She talked about you, back then."
Finch looked up at her. "What do you mean?"
"Whenever she got in trouble, back Home, she would make things just a little worse by saying that her daddy would come and, just as you said, ’profeck’ her."
Justice for Breeze Page 6