The lock on the door clicked, drawing her attention from her thoughts. Finch walked into the room followed by Railroad.
"Damn, man, I'm sorry to hear it," Rail murmured as he placed a hand on Finch's shoulder. "What can I do?"
"Could you go take care of Steve and Helen? My parents are on their way back from the zoo with Lolly. Right now I need to regroup and hold my daughter."
"All right. I'll call Bruise and let him know." Railroad left the room, closing the door behind.
Finch made his way over to Breeze and sat on the side of the bed. Picking up the remote, he clicked it off then turned to her. "I'm afraid I have bad news. Sarah's gone."
She wrinkled her brow as she didn't understand. "Where did Sarah go? Did she leave on her own? That's good news, isn't it?"
He took her hands in his and rubbed her fingers. His gaze dropped to his tee shirt lying on her lap. His lip twitched slightly, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he looked her in the eyes. "No, Breeze, she didn't leave. Sarah passed away this afternoon. She's dead."
"Oh." She whispered and dropped her gaze. Now Coal's mention of death made more sense. "Do you rejoice when the spirit returns to The Mother Gaia?"
He drew back in shock. "Rejoice? No, we don't rejoice. It's a time of tears in our culture. Lolly will be very upset as will Sarah's parents. I'm going to need your help over the next few days. If you can keep an eye on Lolly for me, I'll need to help the Nolans make arrangements. I'm sure they'll want to bury her in Spokane." He thrust his hands through his hair. "How the hell am I going to explain this to Lolly? How do I tell that sweet little angel that her mother is gone forever?"
Breeze scooted over until her knees touched his thigh. Leaning in until her arms wrapped around Finch's waist, she laid her head on his shoulder. Hesitating a moment, he curled his arm around behind her until his hand rested on her hip. She could feel his heat seeping into her body, relaxing her. She hated that he was hurting and wished she could do something to ease his pain. Unsure what would help, she simply hugged him gently and closed her eyes. His thumb slowly drew circles against her hip as they sat in silence. When he pressed a kiss to her hair, she felt the trembles inside again and knew at that moment everything was changing.
"I'm sorry for you and Lolly," she murmured.
He drew back a few inches and looked down at her. "What about you? She was your friend too."
It was hard to explain her feelings, but she tried.
"She was my friend, but she was more than that for you and especially for Lolly. Where I come from, we believe that when someone dies, they become something new. Now instead of being saddled with a human body, Sarah is free. She doesn't hurt, she doesn't cry. She's all around us - in the ground beneath us, holding us up. In the water the flows through us, giving us strength. She's in the wind that caresses us, letting us know we are loved, and she's in the fire that keeps our hearts warm. We believe if you look around you, you will see your loved ones still there, still taking care of you."
Finch pulled her against his side again then softly spoke. "There are people back home that believe there is more after death. They believe in a beautiful perfect place ruled by a loving father where people go when their time on Earth is done. I used to subscribe to that philosophy before becoming a SEAL. After years of seeing how terrible people are to each other, it's hard to believe in a benevolent being up there allowing the horrendous violence here. We're told if we are very good, we'll see them again someday but if you do something bad, you never will. That doesn't sit well with me. Sometimes people do good things unintentionally. Do they get a free pass after a lifetime of doing wrong? What about those that do good their whole life but mess up one time? Are they denied? It never felt right to me." He resumed gently drawing circles on her hip. "No, if I have to think there is something after, I prefer to think they are still here in some way, still watching, still caring, still a part of me."
Finch shook himself and let out a held breath. Looking at her, he smiled tightly. "Either way, it means a lot to me that you're here, Breeze. Thank you."
Breeze didn't know what to say to that, so she said nothing at all. Instead, she let him sit there as she loaned him her strength. She knew the people who lived in the Outside didn't understand the Family's ways, but that was all right with her. She was learning that it was okay to be a little different.
"Sarah was so full of life; it's hard for me to believe she's gone."
Breeze stayed quiet, letting him work through things.
"You know, when I saw her again after Lolly was born, I didn't even recognize her. We had a fling, and somehow, Lolly came from it. At first, I was terrified. Navy SEALs are in one of the hardest, most dangerous jobs around and I had a little girl. Suddenly, it wasn't just about me and what I wanted anymore. I had to think about what I did and how it would affect Lolly and Sarah. If something happened on one of our missions, it would mean Sarah would have to raise our daughter alone. That thought almost crippled me to the point I considered leaving the team and finish out my time as a desk jockey."
She didn't know what a desk jockey was but didn't ask. "But you didn't?"
Finch shook his head and continued to draw circles on her hip. "I didn't. I talked to Sarah about it. She said she knew from the few little talks we had that being a SEAL was important to me and that I had a deep need to do everything I could to ensure the safety of every man, woman, and child. It's a huge responsibility I'd taken on, and not one to be given up lightly. She reminded me that need I had to be the best I could be and to do what I had to in order to take care of the ones I loved. That included Lolly. By doing my job, I was making sure she had a future, one that I could be proud of and more importantly, one that she could thrive in."
The words sank into Breeze's mind as she pondered on them. She didn't know a lot about his job, only that he was some sort of warrior who often had to leave Lolly behind to take care of problems.
"Sarah was proud of you," Breeze told him. "She didn't say much about what you did, but she said it was dangerous and that Lolly was lucky you were her father."
"Yeah?" He looked down at her. "She said that?"
Breeze nodded, biting her bottom lip as she gazed up into his eyes. "I agree. Anyone who has you in their lives is very lucky."
One corner of his lip lifted slightly. His eyes caressed her face making her shiver slightly against him. He lifted one hand and cupped the side of her face, his thumb gently stroking her chin causing little prickles to flow from the contact. She didn't know what it was or why she felt this way, but it was nice -- she felt safe, content and, for the first time, as if she belonged in this strange world.
He leaned in until they were only an inch apart, sharing the same breath. Something was happening - something amazing and frightening and important. The air between them crackled as if it contained heat. Then he tenderly pressed his lips against hers.
Breeze had heard of kisses. She'd seen kisses. She had even kissed the children on their foreheads before bed before, but this... this was something she was never prepared for.
Finch's lips brushed hers, and she was lost. Utterly and completely lost. His lips were soft, warm, and tender, yet drew fire from her soul that she never knew existed. She gasped in amazement, and his tongue grazed hers in a caress. His hand on her cheek, slid around to the back of her head, cupping it gently, fingers weaving in the silky strands of her hair while the other curled around her waist and held her against him. He was everything in that moment - Fire, Wind, Water, Earth and she rocked in amazement as the kiss intensified slightly, branding her.
She threw her arms around his waist, holding on as he sipped from her lips, taking gentle pulls, tugging at her bottom lip and sucking on it tenderly until she was breathless and her entire body vibrated with a new awareness she'd never experienced before.
When her breath was gone, and her head swam, he slowly pulled back and opened his eyes. They sparkled with a heated need she'd not seen before. Swallowing, she
stayed still, surrounded in his arms, enjoying the heat of the moment until he slowly closed his eyes and leaned his head against hers.
"I probably shouldn't have done that," he murmured.
"Why?"
"Emotions are high right now. There's so much going on in both our lives, I don't want you to feel pressured." He opened his eyes and looked at her. "It would kill me to hurt you in any way."
She ran a knuckle over the scruffy expanse of his cheek. "I don't. I feel... I feel something in here," she touched her chest over her heart. "And here," she continued, pressing the palm of her hand against her belly. "But it's not unpleasant at all. I... I like it."
Finch grinned at her. "You do, huh?"
She nodded. "Maybe we can... do it again sometime?"
In response, he kissed her again. Not the soul singeing effort from before, but a light, sweet one that still stole her breath.
At that moment, there was a knock on the door. "Asher? We're back."
He groaned to hear his mother's voice on the other side of the door. "Coming," he called out then pressed another light kiss to her forehead. "We'll continue this discussion later," he promised then went to open the door.
Breeze watched the interaction between father and daughter, feeling a different type of need than before. It was warm, like a blanket on a cold day. It felt right. Breeze made a silent vow that nothing would come between Lolly and Finch - not Coal, the Family or even Mother. They belonged together, and they both belonged to her.
Chapter 12
The day after Sarah passed away, Breeze was alone in the hotel room with Lolly. The events of the last twenty-four hours were hard for a three-year-old to understand. She cried herself to sleep the night before, not even asking for her special song. Breeze enjoyed listening to Finch sing to his daughter. His voice was rich and deep. But last night, Lolly curled up next to her father and cried until the tears wet her pillow and she was fast asleep with the ear of her stuffed dog between her lips.
Today, Finch had asked Breeze to keep Lolly in the hotel room until he could come back. His parents were keeping the Nolans company down the hall. They were waiting on the autopsy to be completed before they could take their daughter home. In the meanwhile, Finch and Railroad went to the airport to pick up more of their friends.
The more she contemplated what had happened in the hallway yesterday, the more she felt she needed to tell Finch about it. There was something in Coal's eyes that frightened her more than he normally did. It was as if being away from the calming serenity of Mother's influence, his soul was showing its true colors - as black as his name. She shivered. She was afraid he would follow through on his threat to take Lolly back Home again. The thought of him manhandling the little girl made her blood boil. Not on her watch - not if she could help it. As soon as she saw Finch again, she would tell him everything. The more he knew, the better he could protect Lolly, and she had already decided she wasn't going back again. She didn't belong here, but she didn't belong there either. Given a choice, she wanted to stay near to Finch and, of course, Lolly.
Turning her attention to the television, she flipped through the channels, looking for something to watch. Overall, she wasn't that impressed with the programs offered. They were full of violence and intimacy which turned her stomach. She loved the ones that showed how things were created, but today was not the day for showing those. However, she found a fondness for the ones geared toward children and often joined Lolly in watching what Finch referred to as "cartoons."
Today there were none of the colorful programs offered, so she settled on one that depicted nature. The narrator was explaining details concerning a frog and how the noises it made were geared to attract a mate. She listened half-heartedly as he droned on.
She glanced at the clock on Finch's bedside table. Until she had come into the Outside, she didn't dwell on time. When the sun rose, they awoke. When it was overhead, they had lunch. When it went down, they went to sleep. A large bell announced anything that happened between those three hallmarks. There was no reason to keep time back Home. However, now she was acutely aware of how slowly it marched on. She now equated those times with the numbers that glowed in red from the small box. Six meant time to get up. Twelve was lunch. Nine was bath and bedtime for Lolly. There were a dozen other things that happened through the day, each ticked by with the changing of the numbers. When Finch left, it was twelve. He said he should be back by two. Lolly's nap was normally at two, but she was so emotionally drained, she fell asleep just before Finch leaving. That was a small blessing as since the news yesterday, she didn't want to be away from her father. She would be awake soon and hungry, so Breeze called room service. They would be bringing lunch up at any time.
As if pulled from her musings, there was a knock on the door. Breeze dropped the remote control on the bed, checked on Lolly quickly, then went to take the tray from the delivery employee.
When she opened the door, the smile on her face quickly fell. It wasn't their lunch. Instead, Coal and two other men from Home were standing in the doorway. Quickly, Breeze grabbed the door and attempted to shove it closed. Coal pushed his foot in the jamb to keep it open. Shoving against the heavy door, Coal barged into the room followed by Blaze and Flint. Breeze took a stumbling step back, tripping over her own feet and falling into the dresser. Her elbow hit the television, causing it to rock and almost fall. "Why are you here?" she hissed as she rubbed her stinging arm. "How did you even find us?"
"Poor, stupid, little Breeze," Coal growled at her. "Out here on the Outside there are so many things you could never understand. One of those is that you're never alone, never safe. There is no privacy here, no keeping secrets. Once we knew you had left, all I had to do was watch the news and there you were, looking all pitiful and alone." He smiled cruelly, as if he found her distress to be particularly amusing. "Those reporters are very thorough - I knew where you were before you did. All I had to do was wait and watch. Now it's time to return Home. It's time for you both to come Home."
Breeze shook her head and hurried to stand between them and the still sleeping Lolly curled on the bed. Holding her hands out in a beseeching manner she growled, "You can't. She needs her father. I won't let you do it."
Coal grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the side of the bed. Nodding toward Flint, he squeezed her bicep. "You can't stop what has to be. She belongs with us. She's going to be our next Mother one day. You've seen the proof of it." He lifted his lip in a sneer. "Just look what a week away from Home has done to you. You've forgotten your place. You're a Wind, Breeze, not a Fire. Not even Water. Just a little Wind. I'll be sure to remind you of your duty once we get back."
Breeze felt cold terror grip her blood and turn it to ice. She had no qualms that he would do exactly as he said. She hadn't had a lot of interaction with him before, but she knew, deep in her soul, this man would do exactly what he said.
Her attention was drawn to Lolly as Flint pulled the cover back and picked her up. When her little eyes opened, and she saw who was holding her, she began to cry. "I want my Daddy. Bees, get my Daddy. Pease."
"Shhh, it'll be okay, Lolly." Breeze narrowed her eyes at Coal. "Let her go. You have no right to be here."
"Well, well. Our little Breeze has a bit of Fire in her, after all." He smirked at her. Before she could move, he drew his hand back and slammed it into her cheek, shocking her. She gasped as she fell back on the edge of the bed. "Her name is Gaia, not Lolly. Get those stupid Outside thoughts out of your head."
Lolly's whimpers became frantic. "Mommy! Daddy!" She struggled, trying to wiggle out of Flint's arms.
"She's dead, Gaia. Gone forever to The Mother Gaia. She's never going to interfere in your destiny again." Breeze glared at Coal as he grinned evilly. "Everything is going to be as it should. You'll forget about her soon enough."
"How dare you," Breeze growled at him. "How dare you say things that upset her. Even if she weren't chosen, telling a baby her mother is gone is cruel." S
he stood up to him, her heart thumping in her chest like a thunderstorm. "That's low, even for you, Coal."
Coal's face morphed from pink to red and on to purple. The veins in his neck stood out, beating in time with each hissing breath from his furious rage. Gritting his teeth, he slammed his fingers around her neck, squeezing painfully as he pulled her closer.
Breeze fought against the grip, her fingers pulling helplessly against his digits as her breath was cut off and black spots dimmed around the edges of her vision. She wanted to beg, to plead for him to let her go, but she had no wind in her lungs to force out her compressed windpipe.
"Coal," Flint mumbled nearby.
Slowly the fingers opened and Breeze crumpled to a heap at his feet, drawing great gasping breaths through her bruised throat.
Coal crouched and grabbed her chin, forcing her face up until she had no choice but to focus on the obsidian wells of his soul mirrored in his eyes. "I promised Mother to bring you back, but accidents can and do happen." His voice was low and full of grit. "Defy me one more time and I'll explain to her how the Outsiders took your life as we fled. Make no mistakes, Breeze, it would be better to have you with us, but my plans can be rearranged."
"Leave her alone," Breeze croaked.
"Unlike you, she has to be alive when we get there. However, it's amazing what the human body can survive. Amputations, blood loss..." His eyes narrowed. "Broken bones."
Every drop of blood in Breeze's body froze at his words. She knew, without hesitation, he would follow through on his threats.
The wail of fear coming from the child's lips broke Breeze's heart. Looking around the room, trying to find something to help them out of this situation, she saw nothing. Perhaps, if she stalled them, Finch would return. Climbing to her feet, she turned to Flint. Swallowing against the pain in her throat, she told them, "Please don't hurt her. Let me get her some clothes and things."
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