“Hope! I’m talking to you.”
I snapped out of my thoughts and looked up at my Mimi. Mimi was my grandmother, well sort of, I was adopted. She was the only person in the world I trusted, that I could talk to, that knew of my curse. She looked younger than her sixty years. Her hair was long and dyed dark red and her arms were strong from her daily workouts. She held my gaze as she handed me a water bottle.
“The woman said we can stay the night,” she told me.
I greedily sucked down the water, some of it dribbling onto my chin. I could have Pushed for some water, but I didn’t want to risk the Creepers finding me. They didn’t come when I first started Pushing. But after a few times, they found me. My Pushes, the thoughts I wanted to manifest into reality, were bright glowing blue balls of electrical fire. But only I could see them. Mimi thinks that I leave some kind of energy signature when I Push and that the Creepers follow it to the spot I had the thought. When I had big thoughts and tried to make big changes in the world, was when they found me. But now they were always trying to find me, even with small Pushes. They wanted me dead. So Mimi wouldn’t let me Push, even for a bottle of water. I had to be super aware of my thoughts, super Zen, making sure none of them manifested into a Push. Anger, love, jealousy, they forced a Push. I always had my iPod with headphones that played a mix of songs that kept me from thinking. Kept me Zen.
Mimi sat down and took the water from me, taking a sip for herself. Reaching out she pulled a stray hair off of my jeans in that way mothers and grandmothers do.
“Sorry I Pushed that thought about those kids. It’s just–”
Mimi grabbed my hand and caressed it with her thumb. ”Hope, don’t ever apologize to me for Pushing a thought that was meant to help another.”
She grabbed my chin, raising my head to meet her gaze straight on. My eyes began to tear up, but I quickly controlled it. Crying could create a Push, any strong emotion could, so I simply nodded to Mimi. I had to avoid strong emotions. I knew better than to watch the news. That’s why we were here. Two days ago, I had turned the corner in the mall and a TV showed these kids who were kidnapped and missing. Blood and a toy had been found. I Pushed for the police to find them and then the Creepers showed up. Mimi and I had just settled into a small town in Arizona after having to run from California. But now, we were back on the run.
I sighed and had a thought. Carefully, I caressed the thought and didn’t Push it. I let it come out of my mouth calmly.
“Why do you think the Creepers want to kill me? Who are they?”
Mimi shot me a look that said shut up. Questions could easily create Pushes.
I took a deep breath and went Zen, feeling my arms and legs relax, my heart rate slow. Buddhist monks had nothing on me.
After a while, she shook her head.
“If there is a God, he created you, and the Creepers are the devil keeping you from doing good things,” she stated finally.
What she said gave me chills. I wanted to be normal; I wanted to go to college, have a boyfriend and go to a bar. Taking another deep breath, I calmed my thoughts. Wants quickly turn into a Push. I erased my mind and swiftly put my ear buds in. Having to leave Arizona so soon had disappointed me. If I dwelled on the disappointment and fear of the Creepers, it would turn into a Push for an easier life. I couldn’t Push, couldn’t Push. Don’t Push. I cranked the volume to the Gayatri Mantra chant and leaned my head against the barn, blocking Mimi and the world out. She was used to my routine.
After it got dark, Mimi appeared with some food and I took out my head phones.
“Tomorrow we will get a car and head to the Pacific Northwest. Lots of small towns in Washington. Maybe Oregon,” Mimi said.
I nodded and bit into my sandwich. Small towns were our thing, easier for me to function. I sighed and tried not to let the dark thoughts take me.
“Mimi? How long do you think we can go on like this?”
I was twenty years old for Christ sake and my grandmother was my best friend.
She winked at me. “As long as we have to, kiddo.”
I sighed. I was afraid she would say that. For a split second, I wanted to Push myself into a fun, wild, and thrilling life. Dancing in a club in Paris, drinking wine, and being romanced by a hot guy. I quickly shook my head before the familiar blue light emanated from my hands and created a Push.
I set down my half-eaten sandwich.
“I’m tired,” I told Mimi and lay back, grabbing the blanket and pulling it over my head. I blasted my Zen music mix and tried not to imagine myself far from here. But I knew what would happen when I slept. Wild, uncontrolled thoughts would fly through my sleeping mind and bounce around my brain. Luckily, nothing pushed in the earth world. But the dreams, they were intense. I always remembered my dreams. They felt real. Like I went somewhere and had come back to my body. One comfort was that I never dreamed about the Creepers. It was my safe place to think freely. My eyelids drooped as I nodded off, excited for the freedom of an uncontrolled thought sleep.
In my dream there was a guy. A gorgeous guy in his early twenties. He was tall and packed full of muscle, with sandy-blond hair and piercing blue eyes; he reminded me of Chris Hemsworth. His chiseled jaw and military posture made me want to watch that Thor movie again. Mmm I liked this dream. These were the kinds of day dreams I couldn’t have while awake. As much as I wanted to. I noticed he was wearing black military fatigues with a blue flame emblem on the pocket.
Suddenly, he started shouting. “I can’t believe we lost her again! She is controlling the Pushes better. We may never find her.” His voice was distraught.
My dream-self perked up. What did Thor just say? Talking about Pushes? What a weird dream I was having. I decided to gawk at him because it was only a dream and I wouldn’t have the chance otherwise. I let my gaze roam over his body, his thick lips, the way his uniform was tight and pulled over the corded muscles in his arms. Then, I thought about what it might be like to kiss him. In the real world that might lead to a Push, but my dreams were a place I could think freely and I always knew I was dreaming. Lucid dreaming they called it. I looked at my surroundings; the hottie Chris Hemsworth look-alike was leaning against a brick wall, talking to a friend. The fact that he spoke about Pushing interested me, but I didn’t really care. It was just a dream. I could change it at any time. The friend was wearing the same military-style outfit. He was tall, strong, and equally gorgeous, with black hair and green eyes.
“We’ll find her, Zayden. She’ll Push again and we will get there first. Before the Crows and before her grandmother can whisk her off.”
Fear gripped me suddenly. What did he just say? No, it’s just a dream … right? Were they talking about me? Was this real?
I walked closer and reached out to touch the Thor look-alike. Zayden. My fingers had barely caressed his cheek when he turned and looked right at me. My body froze. Was he? Could he? No.
“I have to find her. I feel like she’s so close.” He met my eyes and then looked back at his friend.
Stumbling backward, I willed the dream to disappear. I willed myself to Hawaii, to a calm place far from here. A place I could be alone. I sighed in relief when I felt the warm sand between my toes. Zayden and his friend were gone. It was just a dream, I could control it. Just a dream.
I awoke the next morning feeling unsettled. That dream was too real, the guy, what he said … I shook my head. Mimi was wide awake and had brought breakfast to the barn.
“The woman who owns the property was nice to give us breakfast, but she wants us gone when we’re done,” Mimi informed me.
I nodded. As I scarfed the egg burrito, I tried not to think of that guy. Zayden. His eyes, the way he looked at me, how warm his skin was. Was he real? Not just a dream person, but a real person out there in the world? Could I Push for him? I immediately scolded myself for the thought and scrambled to put my ear buds in as my hands shook. Taking a deep breath, I calmed myself. The Gayatri Mantra by Deva Premal blared into my ears
as my hands heated up. No. No. Don’t Push, don’t Push.
Mimi froze and looked at me with concern. When I wore my head phones a lot, she knew I was fighting to create a Push. Fighting to control my thoughts. I focused on the mantra; I knew it by heart even though it was in Sanskrit. It helped that I didn’t speak Sanskrit. Music in other languages helped me not to focus on words. Words turned to thoughts, thoughts turned to Pushes. Foreign music was just melody and calming tones. My hands lost their warmth and I exhaled, letting go of the tension I had been holding. Damn. That was close.
We finished our food in silence and then began the walk into town. We had to ditch our car in Arizona and had only made it this far by hitchhiking. Mimi carried a gun and knew how to use it. I preferred not to carry a weapon, but if it came down to it, I knew how to use the gun and wouldn’t hesitate if it meant protecting myself or Mimi.
“We need to get into a rental car. Should be safe now. Small town like this shouldn’t mind taking cash,” Mimi stated as she adjusted the backpack on her shoulders, making large strides across the roadside.
This woman, she left everything for me. Running had become a full-time job and we were good at it. But she was getting older and I wanted more for her life. I had thought about leaving in the middle of the night many times. Just leaving a note that told her to go on and settle down somewhere, have a happy life. But I couldn’t, she was all that anchored me to this world. Otherwise, why live?
It was a long walk in the heat and by the time we got to town, I was drenched in sweat. Texas summers. Yuck. Not nearly as bad as Arizona, but still. Even though I wore cut-off jean shorts and a tank top, I still felt the need to strip off layers. My Converse shoes felt melted to the black asphalt. Please let our rental car have air conditioning. I quickly shook off the thought so it wouldn’t Push. Today was a bad day for me. Lots of thoughts and opinions. I desperately needed to work out. My workouts kept me sane, kept the thought reservoirs of my mind clean and calm. Push-ups, running, squats, boxing; it was so body intensive I didn’t have time to think. It was a welcome reprieve from sitting around stuck in my head. My long dark brown hair, which hung half way down my back, was stuck to my neck with sweat, so I tied it up into a knot and pulled my ear buds out.
“I should chop my hair off,” I told Mimi.
She scowled. “Don’t you dare cut your beautiful hair. It’s the only thing that makes us look alike.”
I smiled at her comment. Her eyes were brown, her features soft. My eyes were blue and I had a sharp jaw and upturned nose. But we both had long, thick hair. My skin was tanned, but Mimi had a dark caramel glaze that spoke of her Colombian heritage. I never really thought about being adopted until she made comments like this. It was like I was always destined to be with Mimi, even if we didn’t share blood.
“Okay, Mimi, I’ll keep it long.” I winked and she smiled. “But I need to get a workout in today.”
She nodded. We would find a gym or I would run alongside the car if I had to. I needed to burn off this energy I had built up from my dream, and I longed for the familiar sting of sore muscles. We finally made it to the small strip mall with the car rental place and Mimi told me to sit on the bench outside. I slipped the ear buds in and kept the Gayatri Mantra blaring. Zayden, Thor look-alike, kept popping into my damn head! I needed to try to stop thinking of that guy. If he was real, what would he smell like ... I took a deep breath and whispered the mantra over and over again.
Mimi came out of the door, looking flustered. “He wouldn’t let me rent without a license. Even after a bribe,” she declared.
I sighed. We would have to change our names. Again. The Creepers would have found out the names we were using in Arizona. We couldn’t risk it. I let my head thump hard against the wall. I was so sick of this BS! New town, new name, new jobs, new car, lying, looking over our shoulder, hiding, bribing. I didn’t think I could do it anymore. Mimi sat down next to me and placed a hand on my leg.
She looked tired. She used to be a night-shift nurse but hadn’t worked in a hospital in six years. Not since we first ran. She had dropped everything for me. Left our extended family, her job, our home. And she never complained. She deserved so much better.
A tear fell down my cheek as I chewed the inside of my lip. Oh no. I hadn’t cried in years; this much emotion could create a Push, and I couldn’t stop it.
“I’m tired of running. I want an easier life,” I said as my voice shook and my hands began to glow blue. Crap! No.
Mimi’s eyes were wide as she wiped a tear from my face and began to sing the mantra.
I tried to calm myself, to even my breathing, but it was too late. I felt the Push just on the edge of conception. Maybe I should Push and let them find me. Let them kill me so Mimi could go back to her life. Let this all be over. This curse I carried was no good for anyone.
“This isn’t a life. You deserve better,” I told her, whimpering.
She held my gaze, looking fierce. “You are my life. You’re my everything! The night you were brought into the hospital, motherless, fatherless, in the custody of the state, I knew you were meant to be mine. Your eyes, they locked onto mine, and they held so much love, so much hope. That’s why I named you Hope, because you were my dream come true. We will get through this. Don’t give up!”
I gave in to the tumult of emotions and released the sob aching in my throat. Mimi had lost her daughter in a drowning accident and her husband left her after that. I was her last shot at having children. This Push was coming whether I wanted it to or not. My hands glowed brighter and I sobbed. “I’m sorry, I can’t stop it. I just want an easier life. I want help. We need help!” I shouted and the blue from my hands made a cracking noise. A Push had formed. It lingered in the air like a glowing milky way. They always mesmerized me. Mimi couldn’t see them, but she said she could feel them. She said the temperature dropped when I made one. She shivered now, her breath came out as fog, it was so cold.
“I’m sorry, oh God. I’m so sorry,” I said, staring at my hands like they were weapons.
She tightened the straps on her backpack. “It will be okay” was all she said before running back inside and giving the guy her license.
A few minutes later, we had a car. The guy was trying to explain the features and rules when Mimi cut him off. “Actually, my granddaughter is feeling ill, we really need to go!” she shouted, slamming the door.
I sat numb in the passenger seat as my Zen mix played in my head. Damn. Six years and I still couldn’t control myself. That meant I never would be able to. We would always be on the run! I ran my hands through my hair and clenched my teeth. Calm down, Hope, I scolded myself. The last thing we needed was another Push.
Mimi gently patted my leg.
The Creepers would show up to the car rental place. They would get our info. They would find us.
I pulled the ear buds out. “I’m sorry.”
She gave me a side glance. “If I were in your position, I wouldn’t be as controlled. I would have Pushed for a million dollars and a helicopter by now.”
I laughed. She always knew how to make me feel better.
“What now?” I asked as Mimi turned left, pulling the car out onto the open desert road leaving town.
“We ditch the car in the next big town. Take a bus to Washington. Get work on a small farm. Go unnoticed.”
I nodded. This tiny Texas town didn’t have buses or a train. A drive to a bigger town would give us what we needed to escape. Working on a farm in Washington … what every twenty-year-old wanted out of life, right?
I reached over and fiddled with the a/c in order to give my hands something to do.
Suddenly, goosebumps broke out onto my arms and it wasn’t the a/c. In the rearview mirror, a black van had caught my attention and it was barreling at us, going twice the speed limit.
“Mimi.” I sat up straighter.
“I see it.” Her gaze was on the rearview mirror. She gunned the little Corolla and the motor revved. In moment
s like these, I really had to work hard not to Push. My palms were sweaty from fear. How did the Creepers find us so soon?
The Creepers had the power to find and destroy my Pushes. Once I put a Push out there, it lingered in the air for over an hour. The energy of the Push reached out through the universe, creating my wishes. If left untouched, it would come to pass in a seemingly natural way. If I Pushed to win a million dollars, then I would find a winning lottery ticket on the ground or a family member would die and leave me the money in their will. That’s how it worked. But the Creepers always got to the Push first and destroyed it. How, I don’t know. Magic? Maybe they were cursed too. So all of my Pushes were useless; they only led them to me and didn’t even produce what I wanted. My entire life was pointless and torturous. I couldn’t stop Pushing and my Pushes couldn’t come true. Just kill me now and get it over with.
The van was behind us now and I saw the sleek shaved head of one of the Creepers.
I slammed my fist on the dash and made Mimi jump. “I’m sick of this!”
Mimi held the wheel with one hand and pulled out her gun with the other. Creepers could be killed like any other human; Mimi killed one once.
Anger boiled inside of me and I felt my sanity threatening to leave the building. I literally couldn’t do this anymore. My poor sixty-year-old grandmother was a gun toting racecar driver right now. So not freaking normal. Suddenly, another black van appeared in front of us, coming at us in the opposite lane. Crap, trapped. But as it reached closer, I saw him. Those blue eyes, the black uniform, Zayden, from my dream. My breath hitched as the black Creeper van rammed us from behind. Our Corolla’s tire blew and we veered hard to the right. Mimi tried to keep us on the road, but the little car couldn’t take the second ramming from the Creepers’ van. We swerved again and the Corolla spun wildly before rolling upside down. I wasn’t wearing my seatbelt and at this speed, in this tiny car, we were dead for sure.
That Moment When: An Anthology of Young Adult Fiction Page 6