“What is it?” He looked over at her, his hands never ceasing their control of the reins and the team. The long square angle of his jaw set, the muscles twitching.
“Tell me about the ranch, life there. I’d like some idea of the house if nothing else.” Suzanne asked, hoping talk of the ranch would ease some of the tension from his face.
“Are you really that interested?” Cyrus asked, suspicion edging his question.
“Yes, I am Cyrus. Now that I’m your wife I think I need to know a few things, don’t you?” Suzanne placed her hand on his arm, his warmth seeping through her. “Please trust me, Cyrus, as you asked me to trust you.”
Cyrus smiled, his gaze gone to a place she hoped to one day be a part of—his heart. “It started out simple enough, I suppose like most ranches. Then Johnny came along and soon after Cord followed by Beau. We built a second floor to accommodate my brothers and future children.” His face fell, and so did Suzanne’s heart.
“Eventually Cord and Beau wanted their own place, so we went about building them each a cabin on the land. Maggie helped with getting their kitchens in order, not that it mattered as neither one is much for cooking. I guess living with a married couple didn’t suit them much for the long term. They have their own lives outside the ranch. Beau more so than Cord, I think.”
Cyrus continued describing the main house with little detail. Suzanne closed her eyes trying to picture them in the main living areas. She and Johnny would sit by the fireplace going over his lessons, while Cyrus sat at the big desk in his office going over the ranch’s ledgers. The kitchen, complete with the newest stove had their dinner of roast beef cooking in it, while the icebox held fresh milk. The second floor was a mystery to be discovered. Their bedroom was there waiting for them each night. But Cyrus hadn’t talked about the sleeping quarters, keeping those secrets to himself.
She saw them on the porch sitting in a couple of rocking chairs, sweating glasses of sweet tea in their hands, as they watched the sunset and cast its yellow-orange glow upon the Double K. Johnny would be playing in the yard. Their life full and happy.
But it was a dream—far from the reality of what really waited for her.
“Maggie helped with the decorating,” Cyrus continued, chuckling softly. “She said the house needed to know a woman lived in it.”
Sadness gripped Suzanne’s heart until it hurt. “You truly love her, don’t you Cyrus?”
“Yes, I did and, in many ways, still do,” Cyrus agreed, his words filled with emotion. “I see her every time I look into my son’s eyes. She’s there reminding me of the promises I made before she was taken from us.”
“Promises?” Suzanne asked, curious what her part in those promises would be.
“I promised to make sure Johnny had an education beyond running the ranch,” Cyrus continued, his fingers worrying the reins. “And to find happiness.”
“And have you kept those promises?” Suzanne asked softly knowing she was the answer to one promise but not the other.
Cyrus looked over at her, his brown eyes glimmering with sorrow. “Thanks to you Suzanne, my promise about Johnny’s education will be fulfilled. I have no doubt you will give my boy a fine education before he goes off to university.”
So, I’m a promise fulfilled and not his wife after all. It’s just as we agreed to. Once I feel Johnny has learned everything and there’s no danger of Father finding me, I’ll be gone, and Cyrus can go back to his life of mourning.
“And what of the other promise, Cyrus?” She needed to know if he’d found some happiness in his life. No one should go through their days without joy.
“My happiness isn’t relevant. Keeping the ranch running is what matters, so Johnny has a future. His education matters so he knows how to keep it running for years to come.” Cyrus stopped the wagon for a moment looking out over the land before his gaze locked on her. The intensity sent hot shivers through her before softness floated through his eyes for a brief moment.
“And keeping you safe is relevant,” Cyrus added moving the horses and wagon forward again. “To all of us.”
Suzanne’s heart pounded at his words. She was relevant after all. Maybe with time, that relevance would become something more. If only he’d give up his grieving long enough to see her. To realize that, given a chance, they could be happy together. To be a family.
They rode on for a bit more, the silence between them had returned. The land was vast and at times beautiful. Unlike Montana, Suzanne could see for miles in the full moon’s light as the prairie grasses rippled in the breeze. Every once in a while, she’d hear the call of a hawk as it soared in the big sky above them. She was falling in love with the land. Or was it being with Cyrus that sparked her emotions?
The sun had made its last appearance above the horizon turning everything golden, and then darkness settled upon them. It was peaceful, and peace is what they both needed.
The wagon jolted to a stop. Cyrus was smiling for the first time in several hours. Jumping down from the wagon, he held arms out to her.
“Come, Suzanne, please,” he said, and she scooted across the seat to him.
Her body tingled when his hands went around her waist. Every part of her seemed to be on fire, including the secret spot hidden under her skirts. She slid down the length of his body, her hands on his shoulders as her feet touched the ground. He held her a moment longer before taking her hand in his.
It was the simplest yet most intimate moment since they’d arrived in Texas. Suzanne walked beside Cyrus yearning to be in his arms again. To feel her body pressed against his.
They walked hand-in-hand toward the bank of a river she’d not paid much attention to. The water was low, and the high grasses along the bank played around her legs.
Pausing for a moment, Cyrus pulled her into his arms. Her body crackled with desire for more, so much more.
“Welcome home, Mrs. Kennedy.”
9
Double K Ranch
Near Proffitt, Texas
“Pa!”
Johnny’s excited voice reached Cyrus’s ears long before he saw his son run out of the house and down the porch steps. He slowed the buckboard pulling up in the yard as his son’s figure rushed to him.
“Slow down, Johnny!” Cyrus laughed just before Johnny hopped up next to him and threw his arms around his neck. Cyrus inhaled deeply, savoring the scent that was his boy. Hay and straw lingered in his thick brown hair, and the smell of horses lay just below the surface. Damn, but it’s good to be home!
“I didn’t think you was coming home, Pa. Uncle Cord said you were, but—” Johnny pulled away from Cyrus, his eyes moist with joy. “I’m sorry, Pa, if I lost faith.”
“We all lose faith sometimes; it’s finding it again that matters.” Cyrus wrapped his son in his arms tighter, squeezing as hard as he could. “Is this proof enough that I’m home? Or do you need me to tan your hide to convince you that I’m really here?”
“No! I believe ya, Pa.” Johnny smiled then looked over at Suzanne with a probing gaze. Cyrus loosened his grip slightly, set his son on the ground then jumped down himself. He reached for Suzanne, pulling her into his arms and down onto Double K land.
Having her next to him, on his land, was pure heaven and if he wasn’t careful, he’d show everyone just how he felt about it and her. But damn it all, he wanted them to know. All in good time.
Cyrus smiled at her worried expression, then turned her loose. “Johnny, this is Miss Suzanne Butler of Montana. She’s come to tutor you in your lessons, as well as serve as our housekeeper.”
“Ma’am,” Johnny said, his eyes full of suspicion.
“Hello Johnny,” Suzanne stepped over to his son, knelt down next to him and looked up into his eyes. “Please call me Suzanne. I’m not much on formalities, and since we don’t have a formal schoolhouse, it would make me ever so happy.”
Johnny scowled in thought then stepped back into Cyrus’s legs. “It ain’t proper Miss Butler seeing as how you�
�re my teacher. Is it Pa?”
Cyrus smiled at Suzanne, then down at Johnny. “If Miss Butler prefers us to call her by her God-given name, then I shall do so. Remember you have the option son once you are comfortable and know Suzanne much better.”
“Yes sir,” Johnny nodded then turned his attention back to Cyrus. “Blondie had her colt while you were away. You wanna go see him, Pa?”
“Blondie and her colt will have to wait until the morning. Right now, we need to move Suzanne’s trunks up to her room.” Cyrus patted his son on the back, knowing he disappointed the boy. Johnny had been waiting for months on that colt, and under different circumstances, Cyrus would have gone straight to the barn with him to see the newest addition to the herd.
“Run on down to the barn then and check on your colt, but don’t stay but a few minutes. It’s late,” Cyrus instructed, chuckling as Johnny bolted across the yard to the horse barn. “He’s been waiting all summer for that mare to foal. She’d come into heat later than the others, and he’d given up all hope until her belly began to swell.”
“I remember my first filly, a dusty little sorrel I called of all things ‘Pumpkin’ because she gave off an orange tinge in the right sunlight. I had that same enthusiasm as Johnny, so I can completely understand his eagerness.” Suzanne laughed. “Well then, shall we get started? Which room is mine?
“Second door on the right at the end of the hallway,” Cyrus pulled the smaller of Suzanne’s trunks over, lifting it up and into his arms. “I hope you don’t think badly of Johnny.”
“Why would I? He’s happy to see you. You’ve probably been gone longer than he’s used to and wants your full attention. Any child would act the same for a father they loved.” Suzanne held the screen door open for him as he lugged the trunk in his arms through the door then up the stairs. “And that is very obvious to me. He loves you, Cyrus, cherish it for as long as you can.”
“I worry about him spending too much time with the men. They don’t always remember he’s a youngster.” Cyrus wasn’t sure why he was apologizing for his men, but he felt it was somehow necessary.
He wanted Johnny to like her and her to like his boy. Cyrus wanted Suzanne to stay forever now that he had her on the ranch. He wanted her to love him.
Cyrus stumbled into her room, the small trunk flying through the air. His body landing across the small bed his unexpected thoughts echoed through his mind.
Love? I want her to love me? Where did that come from? That’s not part of our agreement, not at all. Yet…
“Oh, my!” Suzanne knelt next to the bed by his side. “Are you alright?”
Her eyes were filled with worry then edged with humor as she started giggling uncontrollably. “I’m sorry, it’s just that…”
“I’m fine and what is so funny?” Cyrus asked trying to see the funny side of his failed attempt to be manly in front of his wife. Laughing out loud with her, he gathered her in his arms. Her merriment was contagious, and it filled the room with joy. Suzanne filled his empty dark life with a joy he’d been missing these past few years.
Cyrus gazed down into her eyes, closing the short distance between their lips. They were sweet, hot with urgency against his mouth. Yet soft and tender at the same time. Where had she learned to kiss like this?
“Um, don’t want to interrupt but Johnny is on his way up from the barn.” Cord’s voice blasted into Cyrus’s mind. He released Suzanne as abruptly as he’d taken her in his arms. “Unless you’ve decided to break your bargain.”
Cyrus and Cord left the small room to bring up the last trunk, leaving Suzanne to her own thoughts. Thoughts that were a long way from the task of unpacking her belongings.
They were on the man she’d married in a secret ceremony. A man who managed to light a fire in her body and soul in so short a time. Suzanne touched her deliciously bruised lips. Cyrus Kennedy had kissed her, plain and simple, and if she wasn’t mistaken there was passion in those few moments before his brother interrupted them.
And a promise that will never be fulfilled. The promise of a love that once belonged to another woman. A woman Cyrus still grieved for, of that Suzanna was certain. She’d felt it in the tenderness of his touch as his hands traveled down over her back, cupped her behind and pressed her into him.
But what if Cord hadn’t come in when he had? Suzanne shook her head of the thought, even though she couldn’t deny her feelings of desire for a man she couldn’t claim to be married to. No, any passion Cyrus may have expressed was meant for the ghost of another, not Suzanne.
“Are you sure you haven’t left anything behind?” Cyrus asked as the last trunk was placed on the floor of her plain but serviceable room. “I’m beginning to wonder if there will be enough storage space for all your things if you’ve forgotten anything.”
Suzanne turned to Cyrus, smiling at his wisecrack. The twinkle in his eye sent her back into unknown and forbidden territory. The ghost had left him.
“Well, I may have left a dress or two behind. I can’t be sure until I’ve unpacked everything. If I have, would you care to send for them? Or consider retrieving them yourself perhaps?” Suzanne teased thankful the ease of their conversation had returned. If only he’d let his ghosts lay in the shadows for good, he might start to love again.
“Not likely will I make another trip to Dodge City anytime soon. If you find one missing, you’ll buy new a one. I’m confident it’ll cost me less in the long run,” Cyrus replied, his eyes sparkling with laughter. “Well, that was easily remedied, wouldn’t you say, Mrs. Kennedy—err, Miss Butler?” Cyrus quickly corrected himself, his neck turning red. Was he embarrassed by the truth of his words?
“Hmm, that could be your undoing Mr. Kennedy, giving me permission to buy dresses,” she teased back, putting the last of her unmentionables into a drawer. Feeling a bit wicked by his misspoken words, she’d not made much of an effort in hiding them from his sight. She was his wife, after all; he’d acknowledged her as his wife when he’d called her Mrs. Kennedy. Why not give him a peek at what he was missing by keeping their arrangement?
“The room isn’t much, but you are free to decorate however you can to feel comfortable here.” The heels of his boots tapped along the wooden floor planks. She felt him come up close behind her, but yet kept a respectable distance. “There may be some womanly items in trunks up in the barn. I don’t remember any more.”
His voice melancholy now, she knew where his thoughts were again. They were in the past where she didn’t have a place in.
Suzanne turned and crossed the short distance between them, her soul feeling the sadness in his voice. “I’ll make do, Cyrus,” she whispered touching his arm slightly afraid he’d recoil from her touch. “The room is plenty big enough and will be more than sufficient for me.”
“I’m sorry it can’t be more, Suzanne.” Cyrus wrapped her in his arms, holding her next to him. His heart pounded against her covered breasts. His whispered breath seared her with desire for more of what she couldn’t have and, in all honesty, had no right to. “I’m sorry that we must keep our union in the shadows. It’ll be easier this way when the time comes—”
“Cyrus, it’s what was agreed to, even though I find it unnecessary.” She put her hand upon his cheek, the softness of his beard tingling her fingertips. His gaze met hers, and for a moment the urge to kiss him fluttered through her mind.
“You understand what happened must never repeat itself again, Suzanne.” He released her, stepping away with a wave of coolness on a fall night. “It wouldn’t be fair to either of us.”
She turned her back to him, tears lingering on the brim of her eyes. How was she ever going to forget his kiss? The way it felt against her own lips. Searching. Asking. Demanding. She didn’t dare to look at him, not until she’d gathered her wits about her at least. Cyrus mustn’t feel any more guilt on her account.
“Yes, I totally agree.” Suzanne pulled up her courage, then turned to face him. The smile on her face and head held high falsely por
traying the way she felt inside. “No reason to raise anyone’s suspicions about the type of relationship we have, is there? I know you don’t want questions and that you need to protect your family. You’re a good man Cyrus Kennedy, regardless of what may or may not happen between us, whether in this room or any place else for that matter.”
“Pa!” Johnny’s voice boomed up from the bottom of the stairs. “Uncle Cordell has heated up last night’s stew for ya. He said to come down and get some food in your belly before it’s gone.”
“Be right down, son,” Cyrus called back, the regret in his eyes never leaving hers. “Suzanne, I—”
“Go, I’ll be down in a few minutes. I need to,” she glanced around the room, swiping at a tear, “put a few more things away first.”
Smiling, she turned away from him and lifted the lid of the last trunk. Her back to Cyrus, she pulled a dress from it not caring tears slid down her face as the sound of his boots upon the stairs echoed his retreat.
Pausing at the top of the stairs, Cyrus turned and looked down the hall toward Suzanne’s room. As hard as she’d tried to hide it from him, he’d seen the tears in her eyes. He’d felt the passion she freely gave him when he’d kissed her.
And God help him, he felt it in his body as well. The need for a woman to lay with. But not any woman—his wife. His bloody body had betrayed him. He wanted to hold Suzanne in his arms through the night until the sun announced a new day. But he couldn’t, wouldn’t make love to her out of greediness to satisfy his own selfish needs. And even though they were legally married and he had every right to her, he’d wait until her heart was his. And his no longer belonged to another.
Cyrus jogged down the steps and into the dining room expecting to find his son waiting for him. Instead, Cordell sat alone at the table waiting for him.
“Where’s Johnny?” He took his customary seat at the head of the table. “I was hoping to hear about Blondie’s colt. He was fairly excited for me to see him last night.”
Brides Along the Chisholm Trail Boxset Page 31