"Oh come on, Liz! Where's your sense of adventure? One last hurrah before we're too young for any more hurrahs! What do you say?"
Liz thinks for a moment before she answers. "When I died, Zooey didn't go to my funeral, so I see no need to attend her wedding."
That night in bed, Liz reads Zooey's note. She notices that Zooey's handwriting is the same as when they were both fifteen and used to pass notes in school.
Dear Liz,
It's pretty crazy for me to write you after all this time, but as you can see, I'm getting married! :) I've missed you a lot. I wonder where you are, and what you've been doing. And in case you've wondered about me, I'm in my first year of law school, here in Chicago where I live now.
So if you have the time and the inclination, and if you happen to be in Boston (we wanted Chicago, but Mom won), you should drop by the wedding. The boy's name is Paul, and he smells good, and he has nice forearms.
I know you probably won't ever get this letter (sort of feels like writing to Santa which is really bizarre considering I'm Jewish), but it was worth a shot. I already tried a psychic medium and Rabbi Singer of Congregation B'nai B'rith, where my parents still attend services back in Brookline. Incidentally, Mom and Dad say "hi." It was Paul s idea to put the invite in the bottle. I think he got it from a movie, though.
Love,
Your Best Friend on Earth (I hope),
Zooey
P.S. Fm sorry I didn't go to your funeral.
"I want to give a toast," Liz announces to Owen the next morning.
"By all means," Owen says, sitting down with his cup of coffee. "I'm all ears."
"Not now, silly," Liz replies. "I meant at Zooey's wedding. Your idea to go to the Well might not be as bad as I first thought."
"So you're saying you want to dive?" Owen's eyes light up.
"Yes, and I need you to help me with the toast. The last time I tried to communicate from the Well was a bit of a disaster," Liz says.
"That was the night you met me, I believe."
"Like I said, it was a bit of a disaster," Liz jokes.
"That isn't funny." Owen shakes his head.
Liz continues, "All the faucets in the house turned on, and "
"Beginner's mistake," Owen interrupts.
"And nobody could understand what I was saying," Liz finishes.
"And you were arrested," Owen adds.
"That, too," Liz concedes. "So how do I make it so the people at the wedding will understand me and not run from the room screaming?"
"Well, for one, you have to remember not to scream. Once you have their attention, whispering is much more effective. Screaming ghosts scare people, you know," Owen says.
"Good tip."
"And you have to pick a running water source and focus on it. And good breath control is a must,"
Owen says. "I'll come with you, of course, but only if you want me to."
"Won't you get sacked if they know you're helping me make Contact?"
Owen shrugs. "I'm head of the whole department now, and people tend to look the other way."
Liz smiles. "Then I guess it's settled." She raises her glass of orange juice. "To our dive!" she proclaims.
"To our dive!" Owen repeats, raising his cup of coffee. "I love an adventure, don't you?"
The evening of Zooey's wedding reception, Owen and Liz meet at the beach at eight o'clock. The reception starts at eight-thirty, and the dive itself should take forty minutes by Owen's calculations.
"Once we get there, you only have a little over half an hour," Owen warns her. "I've told the boys from work to pick us up at nine-thirty."
"Do you think that's long enough?" Liz worries.
"It isn't good to spend too much time down there. It is still illegal, you know."
Liz nods.
"I don't mean to be rude, but your wet suit's a bit loose in the bottom, Liz," Owen says.
"Is it?" She tugs at the stretchy fabric around her butt. "The wet suit's getting old. I haven't used it in almost six years."
"You look like you're wearing a diaper."
"Yeah, well, I guess I'm shrinking, too. I am nine, you know," Liz says.
"That's little."
"Well, I'm actually nine-six, and I would have been twentyone, so that's not the same as being plain nine," Liz says. "Besides, Owen, you're eleven. That's not much older than nine."
"I'm eleven?" Owen asks. "I certainly don't feel eleven."
"Well, you certainly act eleven a lot of the time," Liz teases.
"And if I'd lived, I would have been forty-one," Owen adds.
"Wow, that's really old!" Liz shakes her head. "Imagine! If you were forty-one, and I was twentyone, and we still lived on Earth, we probably never would have met."
The dive passes without incident. Having made it many times before, Owen is an excellent guide.
When they get to the Well, they can find only one running water source with a view into the reception a large outdoor fountain across a courtyard. From this location, they can mostly see through the tall glass windows that line the walls of the ballroom where Zooey's reception is being held.
"We aren't very close," Liz complains. "If I had only wanted to watch, we could have just gone to the OD."
"Don't worry. We'll find a better place for you to make your toast from," Owen assures her.
Across the courtyard and through the windows, Liz sees a wedding party much like every other one she has ever seen: abundant yellow roses, bridesmaids' dresses in pink, a bored-looking wedding singer, Zooey in an off-white A-line dress, the groom in a gray tuxedo with tails. Liz sees Zooey's mother and father among the crowd. And behind them, she sees her own mother and father.
"Look, Owen, it's my mom and dad. Dad looks older, and Mom changed her hair," Liz says. "Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad!" Liz waves. "Oh, and there's my brother! Hi, Alvy!"
"Which one's Zooey?" Owen asks.
"Duh," Liz replies, "she's the one in the white dress."
"Oh, right!"
Liz rolls her eyes. "You're definitely getting stupider as you get younger, O." Liz looks at Zooey.
Zooey is twentyone, a woman. How odd, Liz thinks, that I'm nine and she's twentyone.
"We really should start looking for a place for you to toast from," Owen says. "We've only got about twentyfive minutes left."
First, they try the bathroom sink.
"CONGRATULATIONS, ZOOEY! THIS IS ELIZABETH MARIE HALL!" Liz yells. But the bathroom is too far away, and no one hears her.
"Maybe I'll wait until she comes in here?" Liz says to Owen. "At least then I'd get to talk to her."
"Not enough time. And brides always complain that they never get to eat or go to the bathroom.
Let's try the kitchen," Owen suggests.
The kitchen, while slightly closer to the reception area, is incredibly noisy with staff and plates and timers and other kitchen sounds.
"I LOVE YOU, ZOOEY! CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU AND PAUL," Liz yells again, this time from the kitchen sink.
A busboy screams and drops a tray filled with dirty salad plates.
"SORRY," Liz apologizes. "This is getting ridiculous," Liz says to Owen. "All I've succeeded in doing is scaring a waiter. We have to find somewhere closer."
In a burst of desperation, Liz suggests the samovar, but Owen, who knows more about these things, rejects the idea on the grounds that the water source has to be connected to actual plumbing. Despite Owen's warnings against it, Liz tries the coffee pot, but it doesn't work anyway.
(She's glad it doesn't work she would have felt entirely stupid giving a toast from a coffee pot.) "Oh, let's just go back to the fountain," Liz says dejectedly. "Maybe if we both yell together, she'll hear us."
"CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS!" Owen and Liz scream from the fountain.
They continue yelling for five more minutes, but no one hears them over the noise from the fountain and through the walls. "Well," Liz says with a sigh, "at least I got to see Zooey in her we
dding dress. We could have just done that from the ODs, I suppose."
"But it wouldn't have been as much fun," Owen points out.
"Should we swim back?" Liz asks.
"No, we might as well just wait," Owen says. "The boat'll be here in about ten minutes anyway."
While they wait, Liz watches Zooey's reception inside the ballroom. From their position at the fountain, she can see her own mother and father dancing.
"Your mom looks like you," Owen observes.
"Mom's hair is darker. She actually looks more like Alvy than . . ." Liz's voice trails off. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Alvy leave the reception hall through the side door. He's walking toward the fountain.
"Liz?" Owen asks.
"I think my brother's coming this way," Liz says.
Alvy walks right up to the fountain and looks into the water. Liz holds her breath.
"Lizzie," Alvy whispers to the fountain.
"Remember," Owen says, "don't yell."
"It's me," Liz whispers.
"I thought I heard you," Alvy says. "First I thought it was coming from the bathroom. And then the kitchen. And then out here."
Liz's eyes well up a little bit. Good old Alvy. "Alvy, it's so good to talk to you."
"I'll go get Zooey! You're here to congratulate her, right? I'll go get Mom and Dad, too," Alvy says.
"They'll definitely want to talk to you."
Owen shakes his head. "The guys are going to be here in five minutes."
"There isn't time, Alvy," Liz says. "Just give Zooey and Mom and Dad my love. In a way that won't freak them out, of course."
"I'll just run in real quick and get them."
"No!" Liz says. "I might not be here when you get back. Let's just talk a little bit, you and me. I have to go soon."
"Okay," Alvy agrees.
"How's eighth grade?" she asks.
"I'm in ninth actually. I skipped."
"Alvy, that's awesome! You were always so smart. How's ninth grade, then?"
"It's cool," Alvy says. "I'm in debate this year, which is definitely better than band, which I was in last year. God, Lizzie, you don't actually want to know about this stuff, do you?"
"I do. I totally do."
Alvy shakes his head. "I think about you, you know?"
"I think about you, too."
"Is it okay where you are?"
"It's different."
"Different how?"
"It's" she pauses "hard to explain. It's not like you think. But it's okay here. I'm okay, Alvy."
"Are you happy?" Alvy asks.
And for the second time since she came to Elsewhere, Liz pauses and considers this question. "I am," she says. "I have a lot of friends. And I have a dog called Sadie. And I see Betty. She's our grandma, the one who died. You'd like her so much. Her sense of humor is like yours. I miss you guys all the time. Oh God, Alvy, there's so much I want to talk to you about."
"I know! There's so much I want to tell you and ask you, too, but I can't remember what."
"I'm sorry about that time with the sweater."
"You aren't still thinking about that, are you?" Alvy shrugs. "Don't even mention it. It all worked out."
"I'm sorry if I got you in trouble."
"Please. Mom and Dad were total disasters after you died. Everything set them off. I know the sweater definitely helped Dad."
"I'm sorry if it's been hard for you, then. Hard because of me."
"Lizzie, the only thing that's been hard is missing my sister."
"You have such a good heart. Do you know that? You were always the best kid in the world. If I was ever annoyed at you or anything, it's just 'cause you were so much younger than me and also I was used to being an only child."
"I know that, Lizzie, and I love you, too."
Owen hears the sound of the net coming toward them. Owen whispers to Liz, "They're almost here."
"Who's with you?" Alvy asks.
"That's Owen. He's my" she pauses "boyfriend."
Alvy nods. "Cool."
"Nice to meet you, Alvy," Owen says.
"We met before, didn't we? Your voice is familiar. You were the guy who told me the right closet."
Alvy asks.
"Yup," Owen says, "that was me."
"By the way, Alvy," Liz asks, "how did you ever hear me tonight?"
"I always listen to the water. I've been listening since I was little," Alvy says. "I could never stop hoping it might be you."
At that moment, Liz feels a familiar net pulling her and Owen away from the Well.
Liz sighs. So the wedding wasn't exactly like she imagined it would be. But then, what in life is?
"Your brother is a really cool kid," Owen says on the ride back up.
"He is," Liz agrees. "All things considered, it was a nice wedding, don't you think?"
"It was," Owen agrees.
"And Zooey was beautiful," Liz adds.
Owen shrugs. "I didn't really get a good chance to look at her. All brides look about the same anyway."
Liz latches her fingers into the net. "Sometimes I wish I could get a white dress."
"You have a white dress, Liz," says Owen, "though it's more like pajamas."
"You know what I mean. A wedding dress."
The net is approaching the surface. Just as they are about to hit the cool night air, Owen turns to Liz. "I'll marry you, if you want," he says.
"I'm too young now," she replies.
"I would have married you before, but you didn't want to," he says.
"I was too young before, and we didn't know each other well enough."
"Oh," says Owen.
"Besides," says Liz, "there didn't seem to be much of a point. You had been married before, and we already knew what we were, I guess."
"Oh," says Owen, "but I would have, you know."
"I know you would have," says Liz, "and knowing you would have was nearly as good." At that moment, the net surfaces and they are lowered onto the deck of a tugboat.
"Hey, boss," a detective for the bureau asks Owen, "you want to drive back?"
Owen looks at Liz. "It's fine if you want to drive," Liz says. "I'm sleepy anyway." Liz yawns. It had been a great day, she thinks. She walks over to a pile of raincoats and lies down.
Owen watches as Liz uses one of the raincoats as a blanket. Right then, he decides to tell Liz that he wants to marry her tomorrow or next weekend or sometime really soon. "Liz," he calls out.
But the boat is too loud, and Liz can't hear him, and the subject never comes up again.
The following Monday, Curtis Jest visits Liz at the Division of Domestic Animals. It's rather unusual for Curtis to come to her work, but Liz doesn't say anything.
"How was the wedding?" Curtis asks Liz.
"About average," Liz replies, "but I enjoyed it very much. It's good to see people you haven't seen for a while."
Curtis nods.
"But all weddings are about the same, aren't they? Flowers and tuxedoes and white dresses and cake and coffee." Liz laughs. "In a way, it hardly seems worth it."
Curtis nods again. Liz looks at him. She notices that he is unusually pale.
"Curtis, what is it?"
Curtis takes a deep breath. Liz has never seen him this nervous. "That's just it, Lizzie. It does barely seem worth it, unless it happens to be your wedding."
"I don't understand."
"I've come" Curtis clears his throat "I've come to ask your permission "
"My permission? For what?"
"Stop interrupting, Liz! This is hard enough," Curtis says. "I've come to ask your permission to marry Betty."
"You want to marry Betty? My Betty?" Liz stammers.
"I've been seeing her for five years, as you know, and I was recently overcome by the utter conviction that I had to be her husband," Curtis says. "You're her closest relative, so I felt I should run it by you first."
Liz throws her arms around Curtis. "Good Lord, Curtis. Congratulations!"
"S
he hasn't said yes, yet," Curtis replies.
"Do you think she will?" Liz asks.
"We can only hope, my dear. We can only hope." Curtis crosses his fingers. He keeps them crossed until Betty says yes almost two days later.
The wedding is planned for the last week in August, two weeks after what would have been Liz's twenty-second birthday.
Betty asks Liz to be her maid of honor. Thandi is the other bridesmaid, and the two girls wear matching dresses in deep golden silk shantung that Betty sewed herself.
The wedding takes place in Betty's garden. At Betty's request, no flowers are harmed for the union.
Betty cries, and Curtis cries, and Owen cries, and Thandi cries, and Sadie cries, and Jen cries, and Aldous Ghent cries. But Liz doesn't cry. She's too happy to cry. Two of her favorite peopie in the world are getting married, and that doesn't happen every day After the ceremony is over, Curtis sings the song he wrote for Betty when Liz was recuperating.
Liz walks over to Thandi, who is eating an enormous piece of wedding cake.
"The first time I saw you I thought you looked like a queen," Liz says to Thandi.
"Didn't stop you from waking me up, though," Thandi replies.
"You remember that?" Liz asks. "You were barely awake at the time."
"Not much I forget, Liz. My memory's long long long." Thandi smiles, revealing two missing front teeth.
"What happened to your teeth?" Liz asks.
Thandi shrugs. "Fell out. We're not getting any older, you know."
"Isn't nine a little old to be losing your adult teeth?"
"Mine came in late the first time," Thandi replies.
Liz nods. "Getting younger is odd, isn't it?"
"Not really. Just feels like all the unimportant stuff is falling away. Like a snake shedding its skin, really." Thandi takes another bite of cake. "Being old is so heavy, really. I feel lighter every day.
Sometimes, I feel like I could fly away."
"Does it ever feel like a dream to you?" Liz asks.
"Oh no!" Thandi shakes her head. "We're not starting that again, are we?"
Liz laughs. Curtis Jest begins singing an old Machine song. "I love this song," Liz says. "I'm going to ask Owen to dance with me."
"You do that, dream girl." Thandi smiles and takes another bite of her cake.
Liz locates Owen quickly.
"I was looking for you," he says.
"Let's dance," she says, pulling Owen to the makeshift dance floor in the middle of Betty's garden.
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