by Ella Goode
I hold out my arms. “Dude. I’m having a party to celebrate the team’s championship win. Our fourth in a row. Maybe you read about it in the papers. Does it look like I’m carrying around my cousin’s ID?”
The Tim Burton character peers over his large beak of a nose. “We can wait while you get it. In the meantime, is that beer I smell?”
“Is that a lawsuit I smell?” I fire back. “Felton, get Baker and Baker on the phone. It looks like we have an abuse of power suit on our hands. What are your badge numbers?”
The threat of a lawsuit wipes the smugness off of Tim Burton’s face. “Fine. But we want Mallory. Give her up and none of your friends get charged with underaged drinking.”
“What’s going on here?”
I turn to see Aly and Owen standing right behind me. “Nothing. Go back to the party.”
“You two know of a Mallory Simmons?” interjects Tim.
Aly shakes her head. “We have a couple of Mallorys in our class. Mallory Ponds and then Carter’s cousin. She just started school last week.”
Tim pulls out a picture and shoves it in Aly’s face. “You recognize this girl?”
My heart starts pounding. The photo is clearly of Mallory. Her hair is pulled back into a ponytail and she’s wearing red lipstick but it’s her all right. A few more students have come up the hill to the sundeck. They start passing the photo around.
“No. Never seen her before,” says Aly.
“Doesn’t look familiar,” Owen adds.
One by one the others chime in that the person in the photo is unknown to them.
Tim grows frustrated. His eyes scan the crowd and stop at a figure standing at the edge of the pool. “Her. Who is that?”
My heart’s in my throat by now so I can’t answer. Beside me, Felton has turned into a frozen statue.
“Oh that’s Carter’s cousin, Mallory,” Aly replies. She waves Mallory up to join us.
“What the hell are you doing?” Owen mutters under his breath.
Same, Owen. Same. My fingers turn ice cold. I know if I tell Mallory to stay down by the pool, it will tip off the cops so all I can do is stand helplessly as my girl slowly climbs the hill until she’s next to Aly.
“What’s up?” she says. Her voice is steady but her hand shakes. I want to walk over next to her and pull her into my arms but that wouldn’t be a very cousinly action.
“Call the lawyer,” I tell Felton. That’s all I can do at this point.
“Have you seen this girl before? She has the same name as you.” Aly shoves Mallory’s picture into her hands.
“Um…” Mallory is unsure of what to say but I finally catch on.
“Yeah, have you seen her?” I say.
“This is you,” says Officer Burton. He reaches behind him for a pair of cuffs.
“Are you blind, man? They don’t look anything alike.” I grab the picture out of Mallory’s hand and hold it up to her face.
“They’re the same person.”
“God, old people,” Aly says. “They think everyone looks the same. Does Mallory look like this person?” She takes the photo from me and waves it to the crowd. Everyone shakes their head, full of denial.
“Nah. Totally different. Our Mallory’s eyes are set farther apart.”
“The one in the picture has weird lips,” offers another.
“Get some glasses, man!” yells someone in the back.
“They’re not even the same person,” says Brad, the hacker. “I can do a computer analysis, but it’d only confirm what everyone else is saying. They aren’t even remotely the same. It’s like saying that I look like Carter.”
We all laugh at this since I outweigh him by about thirty pounds. Tim Burton’s cartoon face begins to grow confused. His confidence is shaken in the face of thirty-some teens telling him he’s blind.
“We should go,” his partner suggests quietly. “Captain Warner told you not to come out here.”
“Mr. Baker is on his way. He said that should the police be here when he arrives he will be filing the abuse of power suit first thing in the morning,” Felton announces.
I cock my head. “What’re you going to do?”
Burton angrily slaps his warrant papers against his pants leg. “I’ll be back,” he says finally.
“We’ll see,” I say. “Felton, show the men out.”
I take Mallory by the arm and march back down to the pool. “Turn the music back on,” I yell and the sound of Lizzo crooning about tossing her hair back and forth fills the air. Mallory shivers. I find a blanket and throw it around her shoulders. “You okay?” I ask.
“No,” she admits.
I tuck her against my side. “Let’s get you a beer. It’ll warm you up.”
“Ah, that’s not possible,” Aly informs me.
“Why not?”
“We poured it all in the pool,” Ben sheepishly informs me. “We didn’t know what else to do with it,” he cries when I stare at him in disbelief.
“What’d you do with the bottles?”
“Air ducts in the pool house.”
I smack a fist against my forehead. “JFC, you morons. Fine. I’ll hire someone to clean it out.”
“You’re having us back next week, right?” he says.
“Are you fucking kidding me? I’m never opening the gates again.”
“He’s having a party next week,” Mallory chirps.
“What?” I shout.
She looks up at me with a pleading expression. “It’s the least you can do. Everyone here stood up for me. We have to pay them back.”
“We?”
She nods shyly, gives me a tiny smile and then presses her face to my shoulder. We. Holy fuck.
“Okay, party at Carter’s every weekend until the end of time,” I declare.
Chapter Twenty
Mallory
I feel safe in Carter’s arms but when the door to his place closes behind us, safety engulfs me. I turn in his arms, wrapping my own around his neck as I pull him down to kiss me. I push my cold body into his. He’s all warmth and protection—something I’ve never felt from any other person in my life before. All the anger I’ve been holding on to melts away in this moment. I now know what Aly said is right. The reason that Carter offered me the money to stay wasn’t for me to sleep with him but because he cares about me. Tears are filling my eyes thinking of the way he went to bat for me. It is my undoing. It is the thing that breaks my resolve and has me giving in to what I truly feel for him. The push-pull game that we’ve been playing is only that. A game. I’m in love with this man.
I press my tongue into his mouth. He seems almost shocked for a moment before he begins kissing me back. His hand digs into my wet air as he lifts me off my feet. My ass meets some sort of surface but I’m too wrapped up to care what it is. I never want this moment to end. I don’t know how long we kiss but when I try and reach for his swim trunks his hands stop me. The need to be as close to him as possible races through me.
“Babe, wait.”
My breath catches. I stare up at him. Thoughts of him not wanting me cross my mind for one second before I shut them down. I can feel his want for me in the way he kisses me back. I can see it in his eyes. I can feel it in the deepest part of me. I knew his talk that first night was all lies about not wanting me. I can see now that some of his moments of acting like a jerk are because of the way he’s feeling toward me. All of those sarcastic things that he said to me were his way of expressing himself. He liked to get me worked up even if it made him out to be the asshole.
“I don’t want to wait. I want this. I need this.” I need to feel closer to him so badly my whole body aches for it. What if this is my only chance? I don’t want to let it slip away from me. He sucks in a deep breath, dropping his forehead to mine. His eyes fall closed as he lets out a sigh. I know he is trying to get himself under control. I’ve seen him make the same face throughout this week when he wanted to reach for me but I’d step away.
“I want you
to go take a shower and warm up. You’re freezing.” His eyes slowly open. My face drops for a second. Rejection stings my heart. I lick my lips and try to regain my composure.
“You’re telling me no?” I hate the insecurity in my own voice.
“Fuck no. I’m not telling you no.” He pulls back a little, looking at me like I’ve lost my mind. Relief fills me instantly. “Everyone down there backed us tonight. I need to go back down and make sure everyone gets home safe. They kept my girl safe and I’m going to keep them safe. I owe them that.” I smile. Asshole Carter is nowhere to be found right now. Though I’m sure when he goes back down to the party he’ll be barking orders but those orders will be with everyone’s best interest at heart. “You shower and get in our bed. When I get back, you’re all mine.” He smiles.
I force a smile back. Not because that doesn’t sound wonderful but because it does. I know that reality is catching up to me. I know when Carter comes back that I’ll be long gone. That I’ll never get the chance to be in his bed. Sadness overwhelms me but I push it down. I know that I need to let him walk back downstairs and go on with his life. My troubled past is only going to cause him headaches that he doesn’t need or deserve. I reach for him one last time.
“Kiss me like you mean it,” I tell him. Giving him a hard time. It is one of my favorite things to do with him. Someone has to give them to him. Who will after I am gone? I fight back a whimper at the thought of someone else giving him a hard time. I feel like it’s something special that we share. Something that I don’t want anyone else to have. I should be the only one that has that right.
Carter takes my mouth, letting me know exactly how much he means it. I savor every second of what will be my last taste of him. I try to commit to memory the way his mouth feels on mine, his scent, and most of all the kindness that he has shown me. Sometimes the timing isn’t right in life and you have to let a person go even though you know that you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. It’s about doing what’s right for the other person. Like Carter being a dick at times to make me not be so on edge or sad. I know he can easily play the part but I also understand his reasons for it now.
“Shower,” he orders. “And throw that fucking swimsuit away!” he shouts as he half runs out the door, making me smile after him. He loved and hated the swimsuit. Further showing how full of shit he’s been about not being attracted to me that first day.
With a heavy heart I slide off the kitchen island and head toward the closet. I do shower quickly and dig for my old bag and clothes. I don’t take any of the stuff Carter bought me. I can’t bring myself to do it. Except for a hoodie hanging up with his name on the back. I snag it, pulling it over my head. Then I find the stolen money I took from my mom’s boyfriend and lay it down. I know it doesn’t cover what Carter spent on me but it is all I have. I couldn’t let Carter get tangled in with my mess. He has a bright future ahead of him. Every college wants him. He is going to be a star. No way could he afford to have some criminal girlfriend. It is, after all, what I am considered. I did steal the wallet and I’m not going to let the first person to ever show me true kindness and maybe even love go down because of me.
I head to the front door, stopping to take in the place one last time. How quickly it has become a home to me. It hurts to leave. Not the place so much but Carter. The people who barely knew me and stood up for me tonight.
“I’ll always love you, Carter,” I say to the empty room before I make my exit, leaving a part of my soul behind me.
Chapter Twenty-One
Carter
The apartment is dead silent when I get back. The lights are off and the sofa is empty. A smile curves my lips upward. She’s in my bed, waiting for me. My blood starts roaring in my ears as it all starts racing toward my dick. I pull my shirt over my head and make for the bedroom.
“Everyone says that you owe them a big gesture. Aly suggested you sing during lunch. I didn’t know if you had any vocal chops so I said you’d just buy everyone’s lunch. I told them your mom was a—“ I stop short of the doorway. There’s no one in my bedroom. The bedspread looks like it’s never been touched.
I dash to the closet. All her clothes are there—at least the ones I bought her. My anxiety tapers off, only to immediately ratchet up again when I see a space at the bottom of my closet where her ratty backpack used to rest. I drop to my knees and search for it, but there’s only my shoes.
“Mallory!” I shout. “Come out. You got me. I definitely thought you were missing.” I cross to the bathroom and slam my hand against the switches. The lights flicker on but there’s no one here. The truth sinks like a bucket of concrete in a pool. There’s no one here but me.
I don’t see any signs of struggle. The pillows on the sectional are stacked neatly to one side. My remote is carefully lined up next to my book on Frank Lloyd Wright architecture. The counters are spotless. All signs point to her leaving on her own but it doesn’t make any fucking sense. We were two seconds away from popping each other’s cherry. I had to cut it short because I wanted to make sure everyone got off my property before they destroyed the whole estate. She must’ve slipped out with another student. Another guy? Did she find someone else she liked better? There’s no one with a fatter wallet. Are there guys at school better looking than me? I haven’t ever measured that. What do I know about what girls are attracted to? Ninety-nine percent of them only want down my jock because I was the winning quarterback and because my old man pretty much owns this town. I could look like a troll and have warts on my back and girls would still want to sleep with me.
But I am an asshole. I know that but I thought she did too and that she didn’t care. I thrust a frustrated hand through my hair. The reasons she left don’t matter.
I grab my phone and call Fast. “Yo. Aly with you?”
“Yeah why?”
“I need to talk to her.”
“You have your cousin. Why do you need my girl?” Fast sounds irritated. I would be as well if some pencil dick wanted to talk to Mallory, particularly this late at night. But I don’t have time to soothe Fast’s ego.
“Because I do. Just put her on the phone.”
“Nah. You don’t get to talk to me like this.” He hangs up.
I pull the phone from my ear and stare at the screen for a hot second before angrily jabbing the redial button. “What the hell, Fast?”
“I’m not letting you speak to my girlfriend when you’re pissed off. You could hurt her feelings.”
“Oh for God’s sake. Mallory is missing.” That’s more important to me than some random girl’s feelings.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I came upstairs and my apartment was empty. Her stuff is gone.”
He lets out a low whistle. “Damn, man. That sucks. Why don’t you talk to Aly? Maybe your cuz said something to her.”
I nearly grind my teeth into dust to keep myself from lashing out at Fast. That’s why I’d asked for her in the first place.
“Hey, Carter. What’s going on?”
“Did you and Mallory talk about her leaving?”
“No, she never said a word. The last I saw of her was right after the cops left. She gave me a hug and thanked me for everything. I think she was going to give Owen a hug, too, but you stomped over and dragged her away.” Aly hesitates and then asks, “Is it the cops?”
“I don’t know. If you see her on the road call me.”
“Why on the road?”
“Because she doesn’t have a car.” I hang up before Aly asks more questions I don’t want to answer.
Mallory doesn’t have very much money because she left most of it here for some reason. This pisses me off more than anything. She’s on foot and can’t get very far. I grab my wallet and keys and bound down the stairs to my car. I slam the Maserati into gear and speed down the long lane. When I get to the end, I pause and try to deduce which way she went. To the right is the school and to the left is downtown. I opt for the left. She’s trying to
get away from me, which means the school isn’t a refuge.
I whip out onto the road and start scanning for hitchhikers. Meanwhile, I call Brad.
“I need to locate Mallory’s phone number like yesterday,” I tell him. “Price is no object.”
“Dude. I can ask for anything? Even your sweet Maserati?”
“Yes.” I don’t even hesitate because there’s nothing more important in this world than Mallory and if it takes every earthly possession I have to get her back, I’ll spend it. Nothing and no one is keeping me away from her. Not even Mallory herself.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Mallory
Tears stream down my face as I walk farther away from Carter and out of his life. I know that I’m doing the right thing for him but it doesn’t stop the ache that has now formed in my chest. I keep moving, willing myself to go forward and not turn around. Knowing that I’m protecting him from my past which is knocking at my door. I lift my bag up higher on my shoulder and continue walking toward the bus station. I knew I had to head back toward my side of town when I left Carter’s. I couldn’t risk anyone seeing me get on a bus and reporting it back to him. I’d rather risk seeing my mom or her disgusting man of the month, Ricky, than let Carter get pulled any more into this mess than he is already. He’s done so much for me in such a short time. He has protected me and I’m going to do the same for him. No one has ever done that for me.
The loneliness sets in when I reach the bus stop and realize that I have nowhere to go. I have no one to turn to. It somehow feels worse than it did the first time. When I left my mom’s, I knew I had to and that she didn’t really care about me anyway. She was too selfish to care for anyone else. Leaving Carter is a different story. Letting go of someone that you love is something I’m realizing I wasn’t prepared for. I’ve never had anyone care for me the way Carter did. Even though he can be a pain in the ass sometimes. Remembering all of the sarcastic banter that the two of us shared brings a smile to my face.