by H M Thomas
Finn sighed and finished the brown liquid before setting down the empty glass. He dropped onto the arm of his black leather couch and studied her with his hands clasped between his thighs. Music floated through the speakers around them and she tilted her head, trying to make out the tune. Suddenly Finn stood in front of her.
“Dance with me,” he directed.
She shook her head, earning a frown.
“Come on,” he urged. He took her hand lightly in his, tugging her forward. She stumbled as she went to him and her breathing stopped completely as his arms went around her waist. He pulled her against him and her breasts, bare but for the fabric of his shirt, were crushed against his naked chest.
“We’re good at this.” His breath on her neck was pure agony.
She tried to pull away, she couldn’t be this close to him. She couldn’t be reeled in just to have him toss her away again. “Finn, please.”
“What? I thought you wanted me to touch you, Gretchen, to hold you and fuck you.”
~ ~ ~
Gretchen flinched at the harshness of his words and tears filled her beautiful green eyes. They’d once reminded Finn of childhood meadows. Now they made him think of fertile Irish fields where a man could get ensnared.
“That’s not what you want?” He breathed in the scent of her, noticing, not for the first time, a faint hint of her arousal. “Because I know you want me.”
She trembled in his arms, and the hard pebbles of her nipples pressed against his chest. “Why do you have to make it sound so vulgar?”
He couldn’t answer that, because even he knew as he’d driven into her earlier, he hadn’t been merely fucking her as he would another woman. The moment he’d realized Gretchen was wrapped around him, his desire had deepened, his need to please her had overridden every other desire within him. Afterward, he’d wanted to hold her, to tell her the things he suspected he could only ever tell her.
“I can’t love you,” he confessed, “not like you want me to.” She stopped, and he loosened his grip.
She glared at him. “Because I’m a child?”
“Jesus, Gretchen, you don’t let anything go, do you?” He pulled away from her, immediately cold without her touch. This was why he’d avoided her for the past decade. It had taken months to stop craving her before, and now, since Brock’s wedding, she’d become like a fucking drug. He constantly hungered for the taste of her, but with each taste the need only intensified, until he was sure the hunger would kill him.
Staring out the window, he fought to regain his control. He thought he had, until he turned back. There she stood in the soft light from the hallway, wearing only his shirt with her golden curls surrounding her. She was a sledgehammer to the careful facade of self-control he’d spent years perfecting. She’d done as he asked—she’d come back out as Gretchen, his Gretchen, and it was his kryptonite.
He tried to focus on anything but the way her hair would smell if he buried his face in it or how it would feel if he entwined his fingers in the blond curls. He didn’t want to think of how she would taste on his tongue or feel wrapped around the most sensitive part of him. Too late. Pandora’s box had been opened. He might as well enjoy the pleasure before the punishment.
“Sit down.” He inclined his head toward the couch.
“I’m not a child for you to—”
“Sit down,” he interrupted. “I promise I don’t plan to treat you like a child.”
A small tremble shook her body before she lowered herself to the couch.
“Tonight,” he vowed, “tonight I’ll try to be what you want, but tomorrow.” He gave a slow shake of his head.
Her breath hitched as she fought her tears. She wasn’t stupid. If he touched her the way she wanted him to, if he loved her the way she thought he could, one night would never be enough. But like him, she wouldn’t forfeit that pleasure to save herself from future pain.
Finally, she nodded, and he stalked forward. He went to his knees in front of her, and Gretchen’s breath hitched again, this time arousal made it hard for her to breathe. He pushed on the insides of her knees, and slid his hands up her legs, spreading them as he moved higher. Her body trembled with desire instead of the uncertainty that had stopped him a decade ago. His lips followed the path his hands created, until he reached the apex of her thighs. Pausing, he breathed in her sweet scent before he smiled up at her.
“My Gretchen.” He lowered his head again and took his first taste of her, a taste he had craved for years. Immediately his senses were inundated with the spicy taste of her.
“Finn.” His name was a soft prayer on her lips.
“Mm hmm.” His lips tingled at the vibration.
Gretchen jerked before she fisted her hands in his hair and held him to her as her hips moved. He slid one finger inside her, and she gripped his hair tighter. Waves of pleasure pain shot through his scalp and straight to his balls.
Above him, her green eyes had turned dark, a storm of passion raging within them. He added another finger, and she opened for him as he licked and sucked at her. Her building orgasm tightened her slick muscles around his fingers.
“Come for me,” he commanded as he pumped and twisted his fingers within her.
She threw her head back, and her hips jerked against his mouth as her body tightened and pleasure took over. His name fell from her lips, a silent scream as she panted, and he rose from the floor, pushing down his sweats with one hand as the other continued to pump into the wet depths of her. She tasted sweeter than he’d imagined, and he could have spent hours between her thighs, but right now he had to be inside her. He wanted to love her slowly, the way he hadn’t been prepared to do earlier.
Shoving the shirt up her torso, he licked her bellybutton and the soft curve of her hips, as he slid his hands up her rib cage. Her breasts were so plump and slightly swollen for him, the pink nipples already stood at attention, waiting on his touch. He licked the underside of her breast, kissing it gently before he nipped the flesh. She tensed, and he smiled against the side of the lush mound. Pushing his shirt farther over her head, he left her arms entangled in the sleeves. She struggled against the restraint as he took her nipple into his mouth, rolling his tongue over the sensitive bud as her body lifted, forcing more into his mouth, and she moaned his name.
Every cell of his body demanded he take her now, that he slide between her thighs and claim what had always been his. But he’d promised tonight he could be different, and God, just once he wanted that. He wanted to make love to her, to please her and hold her. As experienced as he was with women, he’d never made love to one, and if only for tonight, he was determined to do that. He watched her eyes, watched the need building in the sparkling emeralds.
“Finn.” Her hips rose to rub her core against the rigid plane of his abdomen. She slid easily against him; her body already ready for him. “Please.” She struggled to pull her arms free, so she could force him to her.
He smiled and moved to her other nipple, sliding his rough hands over her body.
“Finn,” she cried again, her voice gaining strength as she worked to free herself.
He chuckled against her nipple as he watched the fire dancing in her eyes, and her hips bucked against him again.
“Dammit, Finn,” she started.
He quieted her with his mouth on hers and pushed his tongue past her lips, so she could taste herself as he used his hands to pull the shirt from her arms.
“You’re so sexy.” He moved between her thighs, reaching for the condom on the end table.
“No.” She grabbed his wrist, shaking her head. “I don’t want anything between us.”
His chest squeezed until he couldn’t breathe.
“I’m on the pill. I promise, I—”
He bent, silencing her explanations with his lips. He’d nev
er been bare inside a woman before. But with Gretchen, it seemed perfectly natural. He didn’t want anything between them either, not on this night that was supposed to be their one chance.
“Please,” she begged. “Finn, I need you, please.”
His resolve was no match for her sweet pleas, and he eased into her. “Jesus, Gretchen,” he bit out as she gripped him, and he worked himself farther into her, relishing in the pure silken heat for the first time. “You’re so tight.”
He lost the ability to speak as she lifted her hips and forced the rest of him inside. Her body arched beneath him, and he moved slowly over her. He’d never felt anything as good as being bare inside Gretchen. Her tight muscles squeezed around him and her hips rose to take him deeper.
If being with her earlier had been good, then this was rapture. He looked down into her emerald eyes and saw her clearly for the first time. Gretchen was a woman now, a woman with needs and wants, a woman who needed him and wanted him, and a woman who, if he wasn’t mistaken, may even love him. He should’ve given into her years ago. Maybe she could have saved him from himself.
He fisted his hand in her blond curls, and pulled her mouth to his, taking it as he took her body. She moaned against him and pushed her breasts against his chest. The feel of her nipples against him caused his hips to jerk harder and faster into her.
“Finn.” She broke away and threw her head back, her blunt nails digging into his hips as her orgasm built around him.
He ran his hand up her thigh, lifting her leg and wrapping it around his waist as he gripped her hip and drove her over the edge. She tightened around him, as she screamed his name, with her head thrown back, as her body pulsed around him. He tried to wait, tried to prolong their shared pleasure, but soon he fell over the other side with her.
Gretchen moaned as he lifted himself from her body and rolled to the couch beside her, pulling her with him so she could rest against his side. She smiled against his chest and placed a chaste kiss on his nipple. He chuckled and kissed the top of her head, lying back.
“You’re going to kill me, Gretchen. I’m too damn old for this.”
She ran her hands over his body and giggled. “You appear to be in pristine condition to me, Mr. James, but we could play like you’re old if you want.”
He glanced down in time to catch her wiggle her eyebrows and grinned. She was right, he wasn’t old, but he was six years older than her and a world away. She should be with a boy barely out of college, one with no baggage, no demons. Not a man living a life that should’ve killed him years ago.
“Can I tell you a secret?” Her fingers drew lazy circles over his torso.
“Um hmm.” Her fingers and sweet voice lulled him into a peacefulness he’d never felt before, especially after sex.
“I’ve imagined doing that since I was sixteen.” Her lips curved against his chest.
He laughed but didn’t open his eyes. “Well, I’ll only admit to imagining it since you were eighteen.”
The sound of her giggles followed him into sleep.
~ ~ ~
The mattress dipped, and Finn opened his eyes. Gretchen placed her feet on the floor then sat for a moment, staring out the window, her back expanding with her deep breath. Her blond curls were a riotous halo around her. She slipped into one of his discarded shirts before she stood and tip-toed to the bathroom without looking back.
He rolled over, letting out a pent-up breath as he glared at the ceiling. Already the bed felt cold without her. He should’ve never asked her to stay the night. Only a small number of women had ever been to his apartment, and none of them in his bed. Not that it would have mattered, his bed would’ve never felt empty because one of them left, not the way it did now without Gretchen.
Despite his sudden doubt, he couldn’t help his smile as he thought of her. There’d always been something special about Brock’s youngest sister, some untamed wildness lurking below the surface. But even that couldn’t explain why the hell she was dancing in Carlisle’s club. Gretchen didn’t need money, and with her body and brain, she could afford to be picky about her partners. Something else was at work here, but he’d be damned if he knew what.
He swung his legs over the side of the bed and made his way to the bathroom. She hadn’t closed the door completely and through the crack he watched as she stood with her hands braced on the counter, her head hanging between her shoulders. He knocked and pushed the door opened. Her head jerked up.
“Everything okay?” He came to a stop beside her without touching.
She bit the inside of her lip and pulled her gaze up to meet his. His stomach knotted. Had she finally realized what a bad idea the two of them was?
“Yeah.” Her smile wobbled. “I’m great.”
She was a terrible liar. He stepped closer.
She put a hand up between them and pressed against his chest. “There are some things I need to tell you.”
For someone who’d claimed to want him so badly, she seemed to be filled with regrets today. He brushed a hair away from her face. He wouldn’t let her worry about any of that now.
“Later.” He wasn’t ready for the real world to penetrate their bubble. Right now, while he had her to himself, he only wanted one thing. He moved forward until his chest brushed against her breasts and her hips aligned with his, and then he slipped his hands into the wild tangle of curls and held her still while his mouth devoured hers.
Kissing Gretchen was like wrestling a volcano, all hot and molten and fucking destructive. Every thought or plan he’d ever had turned to ash once her mouth touched his. She whimpered, and the soft sound of surrender went straight to his groin. He dropped his hands to her hips and pulled her forward before he lifted her and deposited her on the counter. She squealed, giggling as her bare skin touched the cold granite. He laughed against her mouth and moved down her neck, following the opening of her shirt, loosening the buttons as he worked his way toward her belly button. He pushed the shirt off her shoulders.
“Let’s take a shower,” he suggested.
She pursed her plump lips. “Are you going to go to another room again?”
She’d been offended when he sent her to shower alone the night before, but he’d needed time to get his shit together before he faced her. At the club he’d said things he hadn’t meant, and he still didn’t understand why he’d reacted the way he had. How could he admit to her things he couldn’t even admit to himself?
“Only if you’d prefer the other one.” He lifted her against him so she could wrap her legs around his hips and carried her to the shower. Under the spray of the water, he placed her on her feet and spun her around, pulling her back against his chest. His cock hardened against the seam of her ass as he slid against her, reaching for the soap.
“I can wash myself.” Her protest held little conviction.
He ran his soapy hands over her soft curves. “I’m sure you can do a lot of things yourself, baby.” He took her ear between his sharp teeth. “But doesn’t it feel better when I do it for you?”
Her breath caught as his hand dipped between her thighs, his fingers sliding over the sensitive bud of her clit. She pressed her hips against him in a silent plea, before she reached up and wrapped an arm around his neck. She brought his face to hers so she could twist to kiss him. He swept his tongue into her mouth before he pulled away and bit playfully at her swollen lips.
Her breath quickened as he slid one finger inside her and curved it against the bundle of nerves deep within her.
“Oh God.” Her head fell back against his chest.
“That’s it, baby.” He pressed between her shoulder blades until she bent slightly, bracing her hands on the wall of the shower. He slid his dick between her thighs and nudged her opening.
She pushed back against him, taking him inch by inch, her tight muscles
stretching around him. He used her own arousal as lubrication as he pulled back and plunged into her again. She panted, reaching back, and digging her blunt nails into his leg. With his hands on her breasts, he pumped into her until she cried out and the muscles of her sex squeezed him.
She paused to catch her breath, her inner muscles still fluttering around him and then she began to move again, driving her hips back against him and drawing him farther into her warmth. Using the wall, she pushed herself back, until he couldn’t control himself anymore, and he came inside her.
He stood for a moment on shaking legs trying to catch his breath. His chest tightened, emotions pushing to the surface that were better left buried deep. He pulled out of her, a soft moan falling from her lips as he did. She turned to him, her green eyes shining and her smile a little mischievous.
Gretchen Christensen was the only person in his whole life who’d ever brought him peace, the one person who’d fought for him and loved him freely. He’d never wondered what would happen when the innocent girl who loved him turned into a woman. Now he knew—the girl had never asked for anything, but the woman had stolen his heart.
~ ~ ~
Gretchen sat on the side of the bed in her towel and waited for Finn to come out of the bathroom. She had to tell him why she’d been at the club the night before, honesty was the only chance she had to save her case. He’d never let her back in the club if he thought she was really a dancer sleeping her way through the members
He wouldn’t rat her out to Carlisle, but after the things he’d said to her in front of everyone the night before she couldn’t be sure of anything else. Her stomach tensed with the memories and tears pricked at her eyes. She fought them back. She prided herself on her ability to convince others of her covers, it shouldn’t hurt that Finn had fallen for it too.