The Right to Surrender

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The Right to Surrender Page 16

by H M Thomas


  “I love you,” he confessed. He brought her mouth to his and held her tight against him.

  As she drove him over the edge, she whispered those same three word before she fell with him.

  ~ ~ ~

  Gretchen awoke to a cold bed. Light from the moon cast shadows across the sheets. By the floor-to-ceiling windows, Finn stood with his gaze on the city. He hadn’t bothered to get dressed, and she pored over the hard muscles of his naked back. Bruises had bloomed. Whatever he’d done the night before hadn’t been quick or painless for anyone. Her heart swelled, suddenly too full for her chest.

  “What are you thinking?” He didn’t need to turn to know she studied him.

  She slid from the bed and went to him, wrapping her arms around his narrow waist and pressing her naked breasts to his back. “About how much I love you.” She braced herself for his reaction, surprised when he chuckled and shook his head, then leaned into her and held on to her forearms with his rough hands.

  “What were you thinking about?” She trailed kisses along his back and up to the Celtic sign of protection on his shoulder blade.

  “I forget,” he evaded, “it’s hard to think with a naked woman touching me.”

  “I could move away.”

  His grip tightened. “No, I want you right here.” He tugged her around to stand in front of him.

  Goosebumps bloomed on her bare skin as it brushed the cool glass of the window, reminding her that a whole city lay below them.

  “Are you going to tell me about last night?” She rubbed a hand over the cut at his brow.

  He tried to look away, but she slid her hand to his cheek and forced him to meet her eyes.

  “No, I’m not.”

  She hadn’t expected the sharp stab of pain at his denial. She dropped her hand and began to move away.

  “Don’t.” He wrapped her in his arms. “I don’t want you to know that side of me, Gretchen. I want to—”

  “I want all of you,” she cried. “I know what you’re capable of. I love you despite that, or because of that, I don’t know. I just know I love you, all of you.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Finn stared back at Gretchen. What had he ever done to win her heart or earn her love?

  “I took care of them,” he told her without apology. And it terrified him that she might think differently of him now.

  “What happened to you?” She brushed her fingers over his face, before taking his bruised hands in hers.

  He shrugged. “I gave them a chance to stop me.”

  “Why would you do that?” She kissed each of his battered knuckles.

  He couldn’t help the smile that turned up the corner of his mouth. “Because I knew they couldn’t, and I wanted them to suffer. Don’t worry. There’s still enough of them left for your partners to prosecute.” Though just barely.

  She didn’t react, only continued to kiss his bruises, occasionally running her tongue over his skin. His dick stirred, filling, until it brushed her thigh. She lifted her gaze to him, surprising him with the familiar look of hunger. Would he ever be able to guess the moods of Gretchen Christensen, or would she always be an enigma to him? She ran her hands up his chest, before she lifted to her toes and pressed her lips to his.

  “Thank you,” she whispered before she took his mouth.

  He tugged her forward, cupping her ass and lifting her so she had to wrap her legs around his waist. He pressed her against the exposed window and drove into her.

  “Finn, the window,” she protested.

  He lowered his head and took her nipple into his mouth, and her protests died on a whimper. She leaned away from him to use the window for leverage so she could move her hips, drawing him deeper into her warm center.

  Reaching out for something to hold on to, her fingers slid down the glass without gaining purchase. Her breaths quickened as he pounded into her. As much as he loved her and wanted to protect her, he needed to take her body, to push her to the limits of her pleasure before she exploded.

  “Finn.” Her voice started low, like the orgasm that pulsed in her, before it rose, and his name burst through her lips on a scream. Her body bucked, and her inner muscles gripped him, squeezing and releasing, until he had to give into his own pleasure.

  He couldn’t hold back, thrusting deeper until everything inside him uncoiled, and he poured himself into her. They leaned on the window, panting before he carried her to the bed, still buried inside her. Even when he lay atop her and lightly trailed kisses down her neck, the urge to take her pumped in his veins.

  “I love you.” He lifted onto his elbows, so he could gaze into her eyes. Amazed at how much pleasure he found in saying those three words.

  She pulled his face to hers and kissed him deeply. “I love you too.” She brushed the hair from his eyes.

  He needed that to be true, because he had to get her away from Ronnie and Carlisle and anything else that could hurt her. He’d give his life for hers, and so, as she’d slept, he’d decided to do just that.

  He only hoped Gretchen trusted him enough to still love him if he survived it.

  Chapter 13

  Finn stood in front of the brick building that housed Gretchen and the group determined to bring his entire world crashing down. How perfectly the old warehouse fit the woman he’d fallen in love with. From the outside it looked like any other building, giving away none of the secrets and power within. Like Gretchen, who appeared to be just another dancer who’d been able to sleep her way into his good graces. No one suspected what she could do to all of them, or what she’d already done to him.

  He took a deep breath and pushed through the glass doors, following the signs to the elevator. He exited on the third floor, as his sources had reported he should. As he stood, taking in the gray cubicles and the sterile walls, he tried to picture Gretchen working here, interacting with these people. No matter how he tried, he couldn’t reconcile the image of her laughing as she lay beside him in bed with someone who could work here.

  “Is there something I can help you with?”

  He turned. In front of him stood one of the men who’d been with Gretchen’s partner at the bar. The other man’s eyes went wide before they turned to slits. Apparently, he recognized Finn too. Perfect. They stood for a moment, sizing each other up.

  Finn’s jaw clenched instinctively. He didn’t know how much any of these men knew about him and Gretchen. Likely they all thought she belonged more to them than to him. He had to fight back the instinctive urge to claim her.

  “I’m looking for Benjamin Carpenter,” he managed through clenched teeth.

  The other man nodded, meeting his cool glare and held out a hand. “Jackson Shepard.”

  Finn considered not taking the hand, but whether he liked it or not, this man was important to Gretchen and her safety. “They call me Finn,” he finally conceded, shaking Jackson’s hand.

  The other man studied him for a moment before he nodded and motioned for Finn to follow him. “You have a last name?” They rounded the corner, walking down a row of cubicles toward an actual office.

  The corner of Finn’s mouth turned up mockingly and he shook his head. “I’m like Cher.”

  Snorting out a reluctant laugh, Jackson knocked on the door of the office. When he heard the call to come in, he cracked it opened “Are you alone?” Jackson’s head swiveled. “You have a visitor.” He pushed the door opened the rest of the way.

  Benjamin Carpenter looked around Jackson. When the older man spotted Finn, he smiled slowly and leaned back in his desk chair. “Let him in.”

  Jackson stepped out of Finn’s way, so he could enter the room.

  “You know where Chris is?” Carpenter asked Jackson who still stood in the doorway.

  “Yeah.” The other man’s eyes darted to Fin
n.

  “Good.” Carpenter gave him a pointed look. “This is a private conversation.”

  “Of course.” Jackson stared at his boss before he raised his chin and disappeared, closing the door behind him.

  “So, Jay Finley,” Carpenter murmured. He leaned forward now, resting his forearms on his desk. “What brings you to see me?”

  “I’m about to make your fucking day.” Finn dropped into a chair across from the desk and made himself at home.

  ~ ~ ~

  Gretchen squinted at the screen in front of her and sharp pain shot through her head, above her right eye, causing her to wince.

  “Concussion,” Neil murmured from his own desk.

  “Thank you, Dr. Anderson.” She gave up on the computer and leaned back in her chair, closing her eyes.

  “Seriously.” Neil stood and came over to lean a hip against her desk. “How’re you feeling?” He lifted her chin to inspect the cut he’d glued shut on her neck.

  “Some headaches,” she admitted. He’d expect them. From the bruises on her face, it was impossible to deny she’d been hit in the head . . . hard.

  “Throat looks good. How’re you sleeping?” He dropped her chin and met her gaze.

  “Sleep’s fine. I woke up two days in a row, so that’s a plus.” She beamed at him.

  He didn’t return her smile. “I mean, are you sleeping? Any nightmares? You didn’t go home last night.”

  She’d opened her mouth to reply when Jackson appeared around the corner at the same time Neil’s phone buzzed at his hip.

  “Oh. There you are.” Jackson’s smile was too wide. “You want to grab lunch?”

  Neil pushed off her desk, the phone clenched in his hand so tightly Gretchen feared it would shatter.

  “Everything okay?” She sat up and eyed her partner.

  Jackson gave Neil an almost imperceptible nod.

  “Fine,” Neil bit out. “Go get lunch. I’ll catch up with you later.” He disappeared around the corner.

  “What was that?” She turned back to Jackson, who only shrugged.

  He shrugged. “Anger issues?”

  “You know I’ll find out, right? It’s literally my job to find things out,” she reminded him.

  “Yes.” Jackson pulled her out of her seat and slipped her bag over her shoulder. “But, right now is your lunch break. You can solve the mystery after we eat.”

  She tried to glare at him, and it only made her head hurt, so instead she allowed herself to be led away.

  ~ ~ ~

  The door to Carpenter’s office slammed opened, and Finn turned slightly. He took a fist to his face with only a slight jerk of his head before he jumped to his feet to face Gretchen’s partner.

  “How dare you come here.” Neil lunged for him. “I’ll fucking kill you.”

  “You’re welcome to try.” Finn batted the other man away before he lifted his own fists.

  “You son of a bitch,” Neil spat. “Have you seen what your girlfriend did to her?”

  “Stand down, Anderson.” Carpenter stepped between the two men. “That’s why he’s here.”

  Neil didn’t take his eyes from Finn’s. “They beat the hell out of her. If I had been a minute later, they would have . . .” His voice faltered, but the fire in his eyes didn’t diminish.

  “That wasn’t my fault,” Finn replied. Though he’d carry the guilt for the rest of his life, he wouldn’t let this bastard know it.

  “Bullshit. I’ll fu—” Neil lunged for him, and Finn pushed past the captain, slamming the other man against the wall with his large hands around his neck.

  “Don’t make idle threats, boy,” Finn threatened through clenched teeth. “I can assure you, anyone who touches Gretchen will pay dearly.” He paused before repeating, “Anyone.”

  “Let him go,” Carpenter ordered behind him.

  Finn didn’t move. Though his anger was misplaced, the rage inside him at the memory of how Gretchen looked with the makeup washed away made it hard for him to simply let go.

  “Finn, he’s her partner. He’s looking out for her, same as you.”

  “No.” Finn shook his head and squeezed harder on the other man’s throat. “Not the same as me. Understand that, partner, you’ve never been the same as me.”

  His glare clashed with Gretchen’s partner’s.

  Neil had been her lover once. That would never be the case again. But Finn wasn’t here about Gretchen’s past lovers, he was here to keep her safe, and he had Neil to thank for saving her from her attackers. That was enough to have him loosening his grip. He gave one final shove before releasing him, impressed when Neil stood and met his eyes coldly, despite the dull pain in his gaze.

  “Where is she?” Carpenter’s voice cut through the air of tension growing between the two men.

  Neil hesitated to look away. Finally, he glanced toward his captain. “Jackson talked her into lunch.”

  Carpenter nodded and turned his attention to Finn. “You better go. She can’t see you here. She’ll be angry enough without knowing you’re a part of this now.”

  She could be angry, as long as she was safe.

  “We’re pulling Gretchen,” Carpenter told her partner. “I’m going to need you to make her see this is best for the case.”

  “She wants Ronnie Sinclair,” Neil explained. “I promised her I wouldn’t pull her from this.”

  Finn sneered, and the other man turned to him. “You’re afraid she’ll be mad at you.”

  Neil raised a brow. “You ever had her mad at you?”

  “For the past ten years.”

  Neil’s gaze narrowed.

  “You think you’re in love with her. You think the two of you ever have a chance.” Finn shook his head. “That’s the difference between us. I’m not afraid of her being mad at me. As long as she’s alive, she can be as pissed off as she wants. I’m not afraid she’ll stop loving me. Real love doesn’t go away.”

  “Finn, that’s enough,” Carpenter interrupted.

  Neil’s eyes narrowed. “Finn. Finn James? Her brother’s friend?”

  Finn straightened, but he didn’t answer.

  “I should’ve known. You’re the only person who’s ever been able to hurt her, of course, you’re a part of this.”

  Finn flinched at the words, and Neil met his glare with a cocky grin. Finn’s stomach twisted. He’d ensured Gretchen would be working safely side-by-side with her former lover and the man fucking hated him.

  Perfect.

  “Remember what I said about people touching her,” he reminded the other man. “I don’t discriminate between the types of touch.”

  Chapter 14

  Gretchen walked to her car in a daze. After months of working the case against Carlisle, she’d no longer be undercover. At first, she’d blamed it on the attack by Ronnie’s men. Her entire team had reacted with Neil’s same adamancy that she be removed from the case.

  When Carpenter had pulled her into his office, she’d been ready to defend her reasons for staying, again. Instead Carpenter assured her they had a legitimate lead inside, and they would bring Ronnie, Carlisle and all his suppliers down. She didn’t care what happened to Carlisle, as long as Ronnie burned in hell.

  As the rage had simmered inside her, she’d had to admit Carpenter had made a wise decision. She’d become too close to this case and the people involved. One part of her knew she’d do anything to protect Finn, while the other thirsted for Ronnie’s blood. The lines between right and wrong, criminal and ally, had become blurred, a realization she’d come to the night before as she listened to Finn explain how he’d taken care of her attackers and her only thoughts had been of having him inside her. She wanted to feel guilty that she’d been excited by his lawless nature, but she couldn�
�t find any reasons to repent.

  Unfortunately, now that she wasn’t the one funneling information, she couldn’t keep Finn safe. She’d never forgive herself if something happened to him because of her work. It looked like Lilah had one more thing to do before she retired.

  She pulled into the garage beneath Finn’s apartment in her black wig, at almost midnight. When she reached his floor, she knocked swiftly on the door before she turned the knob and let herself in.

  “Finn.” She made her way through the entryway and into the open seating area, before stopping abruptly.

  Across the room, Finn stood with Ronnie Sinclair wrapped around him like a fucking vise. When he saw Gretchen, he pulled away, though not quickly enough to ease the sharp edge of pain like a knife in her gut. Ronnie turned toward her, obviously pissed off at the interruption. Gretchen only stared back, motionless, too shocked to move. Although Finn had stepped away from the other woman, that hadn’t brought him any closer to her.

  Biting down hard on the inside of her lower lip, she tried to gain some semblance of control to no avail. She swallowed the blood she tasted and placed her purse on the counter.

  “Is she here to play too? That would be a great way to start training her.” Ronnie winked.

  “Why is she here?” Gretchen asked, oddly able to speak despite the rage battling inside her.

  “Business.” Ronnie smiled triumphantly, walking her fingers up Finn’s chest.

  “I didn’t fucking ask you,” Gretchen raged.

  She finally gained their full attention. Finn turned wide eyes on her as if he didn’t recognize her, and she had to admit, since her attack, she’d found it difficult to recognize herself too.

  “We were working.” Finn strode toward her. “I’ll call you later if there’s something we need to talk about.” He put his hand on the small of her back, ushering her out of the apartment.

 

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