“Mr. McAllen, please present the Guardian’s gift to your daughter.” Harlixton nodded at him.
A strange mix of pride and sadness washed over my dad’s face as he stepped forward. “I present this token to you, Lucy the Seer, to remind you of the brave choices you’ve made today, and of the many more you are sure to make in the future.”
Whispers from the Guardian Council flitted above my head as Dad placed a silver chain around my neck. I glanced down at the outline of a circle with a cross in the middle, and wings above it. The Guardian symbol. It felt cold against my skin. Even though the trinket was light and dainty, a sense of heaviness settled on my shoulders. Too many cryptic words pinged through my brain. Dad’s words. Harlixton’s words. Had I made the right choice?
Dad motioned for me to rise as the applause started up again.
Harlixton raised his arms to the onlookers. “Please welcome Lucy McAllen and Shanda Jones posthumously to the Order of the Guardians.”
I bristled as he announced the full name of the organization I had just joined. What had I gotten myself into here?
Harlixton motioned for me and Curtis to turn and face the crowd.
Everyone stood and cheered. Some two hundred or more people filled the chapel. I had no idea there were this many Guardians in this city alone. I spotted my sister in the crowd, sitting next to Will. Paige was beaming and clapping so hard her hands would probably turn red. Will, on the other hand, cocked his head to the side and gave me a little golf clap. I nodded and winked at him, and he smiled for a split second, before schooling his features back into a neutral gaze.
For better or worse, this would probably be my last day at Montrose Academy. Soon I would be jetting off to Europe with my dad to finally see my brother in the flesh. It all sounded more glamorous than it actually was. I’d have to leave Will behind for who knows how long. Could our new relationship handle the distance?
It was too late now. Tomorrow I’d get on a plane to Austria. Only time would tell.
***
Gray clouds hung low as we filed down the cobblestone path, leaving Montrose for the last time. My dad’s towncar waited at the parking lot curb, but I slowed my pace and let him wheel the last of my suitcases on without me. A crowd of all the friends I’d made this year followed in his wake. Will matched my stride to remain next to me, a pillar of strength at my side. I gulped, swallowing back the bittersweet knot of fear that tried to rise up within me.
About ten feet ahead, Dad turned and glanced over his shoulder. “You coming, Lucy?”
I mashed my lips together, a feeble attempt to keep my emotions in check. “I just need a minute to say goodbye.”
His eyes drooped, and the heaviness finally seeped into his gaze. “Sure, sweetie. I understand. Take all the time you need. I’ll just wait in the car.”
Then he nodded at Will, who bobbed his head in unspoken assent at my father. I narrowed my eyes at both of them. No doubt they had some sort of silent agreement to protect me from the invisible Nexis threat that hung over my head like a fog, shrouding my future in uncertainty. Normally a secret pact might irk my fiercely independent side. But not today. Now I needed an extra dose of over-protection.
I turned around to face my friends as they clustered into a semi-circle in front of me. Brooke and Mindy, Laura and Lenny, Tony and Curtis. Even Mr. Harlixton had shown up to say goodbye. Bryan hung back with his parents, who still tugged at my heartstrings. If only their son hadn’t been so stubborn and hard-headed, things might’ve turned out differently. But it didn’t.
“This is silly.” The waterworks sprang up. Traitors. “I’ll see most of you in a few days.”
“Not all of us,” Will whispered so low only I could hear. Probably.
I reached for his hand and squeezed.
“I wish I could go, too.” Mindy rushed up and hugged me. “I hate that you guys are leaving and Montrose is closing. I don’t know what I’ll do senior year without you.”
“You’ll be just fine. You’re so good at making friends. Everyone at your new school will love you.” I patted her golden-brown head, indulging her right to a life of denial. Who was I to say more if she didn’t want to dwell on deeper things? She’d had enough to deal with because of Nexis and this school. Let her have her little world her own way.
She smiled up at me. “Thank you, for everything.” Her eyes told me there was still more to uncover, locked away for another day.
Laura and Lenny ventured forward next, and Laura wrapped her tiny arms around my waist. “We’ll see you in Europe in a few days. Be safe,” she whispered.
“Laura, what’re you doing? You’re not supposed to say it out aloud?” Lenny’s jaw dropped as he stared at his twin. “What if there are Nexis spies lurking about.”
“I—I’m sorry,” Laura stammered, eyes darting around the parking lot. “I wasn’t thinking.”
“Calm down.” I patted her shoulder. “No one heard you. Everything’s going to be okay.” Even as I said the words, fear blanketed my thoughts. Clenching them in a vice grip.
Curtis came forward, towering over me. “You’ve done so much for my daughter. I won’t forget it.”
Salty tears burned my eyes. “I just wish it had been enough. She didn’t deserve to die. Not for me. Not for anyone. Nexis will pay.” I gulped as the tears spilled over, sizzling hot tracks down my cheeks.
His dark fingers wrapped around my shoulders as he leaned down to look me in the eye. “Shanda wanted you to live. Promise me you’ll honor her wishes and the sacrifice she made.”
I nodded as his words sank deep into the depths of my soul. A lone tear escaped. “I promise.”
With one nod he walked away, leaving us behind. But his words stayed with me, forming a new resolve thick as steel.
I would be the one to bring Nexis down. To dismantle the entire organization and bring it to its knees. For Shanda, for the world. And for all the Seers sacrificed on their misguided altar. I would be the Seer to change things, to turn it all around. I had to. It was either me or them.
Mr. Harlixton took a few steps forward. “I know this semester has been unbearable. But Mr. Jones is right. We will see that justice is served.”
“Thank you,” I mouthed as he stepped back. A nod was his only reply.
Brooke tiptoed forward, head swinging toward her family as she approached. “Don’t be too hard on him. He’s hurting, too.” With that she stepped back.
I couldn’t help but stare at Bryan, as he shuffled off to the side with his parents. He tried not to look at me, but every now and then I watched his eyes wander my way, then narrow at Will. If only I could shrug it off, this inane sense of responsibility that lingered in my thoughts. Even though he was the one who broke up with me.
Tony walked up to me, his dark hair ruffling in the slight breeze. “You’re not alone in this. I’m going to make Nexis pay, too. You can’t get all the credit.”
I smiled at him. “Thanks for that. I’ll need all the help I can get.”
“I think you’ll find the Guardians are good for that, at least.” He made an attempt to smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
“We’ll see.” I studied him, searching for the hidden meaning.
Lowering his voice, he met my gaze. “I just want you to know that what she wanted still comes first, if worse comes to worse.”
“Understood.” I nodded and he nodded back, making me wonder if Shanda had talked to Tony about our friends-first pact. Then he turned and strolled down the cobblestone path toward the dorms, like nothing ever happened. Still, it was nice to know I’d have at least one ally in the Guardians since Will couldn’t be there.
I turned to Will. My throat clenched as the water welled up in my eyes again. The thought I didn’t want to think came rushing back, stronger than ever. How would I ever make it in a foreign country without him? How had he burrowed this deeply into my heart so fast?
I sputtered and choked on all the things I wanted to say to him. There were t
oo many people around. Maybe it just wasn’t the right time.
As if he could sense the inner workings of my mind, Will stepped closer to me. “Are you okay?”
I nodded, unable to utter a single word.
Cindy caught my eye and started herding away the crowd. “We’ve been out in the open too long. Let’s let Lucy catch her plane.”
Thank you, I mouthed at Bryan’s mom and kept my eyes on my friends as they trickled away. Disappearing into the distance.
I took one last sweeping glance around the campus I’d called home for my junior year of high school. Somehow it looked the same, but different now. The death of a friend had changed things, for me and for this school. It was strange to think no one would go to class here ever again. So why did it feel so wrong to leave it all behind? Shanda had died here, after all. Shouldn’t I want to leave this place?
The realization lapped at my feet, a wave of clarity washing over my toes. Leaving this place meant letting go of Shanda—letting go of my best friend. And that just felt wrong.
Will was the only one left standing beside me.
“Let’s talk.” Softly, he tapped his fingers on my palm.
I relaxed the fist I didn’t even know I’d clenched and grabbed his hand. “I’m not ready to move on. Not yet.”
“Me either.” The corners of his mouth lifted. “We aren’t done yet.”
I nodded and let him lead me to the nearest bench. There were things left to say. I just didn’t know how to say them yet.
***
Will led me to a spot that overlooked the gray waters of the Hudson, pulling me down next to him on a bench. Thankfully not the same spot I shared with Bryan. I relaxed against the worn wood.
Will slid his arm around my back, turning me toward him. “I wanted you to know the truth. To hear it straight from me.”
I froze, unable to tear my eyes away from the tortured look on his face. “What do you mean? What’s going on?”
Those familiar gray eyes were locked on me. “I found a way to get to Europe, but you’re not going to like it.”
His words hit me hard, I closed my eyes to keep the truth at bay. The words slipped out anyway. “When are you joining the Watchers?”
“I make it official tomorrow.” His words filtered through the blackness, tinged with an emotion I couldn’t name.
When I opened my eyes, he stared back at me. Fear danced in his eyes. I blinked, but his expression didn’t waver. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I can’t stand this.” His arm curled around my shoulder, and he scooched closer to me. “I want to know what you’re thinking.”
“Well.” I nibbled on my wobbly lip. “I wish I could stay for your graduation.”
He exhaled a warm breath on my face. “That’s not what I’m talking about, and you know it. I’m talking about the Watchers.”
“We talked about this. I know you had to do it. I just wish I could’ve done more for you. To protect you.” It was all I could get out. The words piled up in the back of my throat, dying a slow death on my unmoving tongue. I’d failed yet again.
“Look at me, babe.” He cupped both hands around my face. “This isn’t your fault, okay? I don’t want to join the Watchers any more than you want me to. But this is the only way we can both be safe and together.”
“Together?” A glimmer of hope sprang up, arching my brows sky high. “You really think that’ll happen?”
A small smile played with his lips. “I’ll make it happen. You’ll be in Europe, I’ll be in Europe. We’ve got a much better shot this way. Especially if I get the Lucy detail I requested.”
“Lucy detail?” My eyebrows must be in the stratosphere by now. “Do I even wanna know?”
He shook his head. “You really don’t. I just wanted you to know my real intentions. No matter what you hear after today, just know I’m out there, determined to fight for you and only you. No matter what.”
I couldn’t help but smile at him. “I like the sound of that.”
Suddenly his hands dropped from my face, leaving my cheeks cold. Just as quickly, he grabbed my hands and leaned in closer. “I’m tired of pretending. I want you to know the truth, okay?”
Droplets of icy fear pinged the fire spreading across my cheeks. Yet I felt myself nodding, my hands still locked in his grip. Unable to tear my gaze away from the strange but beautiful expression engulfing his face. Making him glow like a ray of sunshine.
“When I first met you, I didn’t know what to make of you. Because you were so different than I thought you’d be.”
“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” I jutted out my jaw in protest.
“Since our moms are friends, I thought you’d be just like them and every other girl on campus—completely fake.” He held up his hand like he knew all the inner objections going through my mind. “But you’re not fake. You’re so incredibly real that I didn’t know what to make of you at first. I don’t think anyone else did either. Fake people don’t want to be around real people—it only shatters the illusion. At least it did for me. I couldn’t pretend any more, couldn’t go along with Nexis and do what I wanted to do.”
He paused for one second, two seconds. My heart couldn’t take it anymore.
“What’s that?” I whispered. I had to know.
“I love you.” Joy danced on his face, lighting up his eyes and every feature I’d come to love. “I just want to be with you. Be real. Live a real life, not chasing after some utopian fantasy that’s never going to happen.”
He moved in closer, his breath a soft warmth on my face. “Just know that no matter what, I’ll always love you for who you are. The only real girl I’ve ever known.”
The sun burst out from behind the clouds, spilling rays of light on us. His words sank deep into my bones. They were all I’d ever wanted to hear. But my heart collapsed in on itself. It was too dangerous. Everyone I loved would be in danger soon. Especially him. I couldn’t be the one to put his life on the line—even if he wanted me to. It was too much responsibility.
“I—you know how much…” I shook my head as tears trickled down my cheeks.
He covered my mouth with his. Soft lips mingled with salt and spice. A moment so delicious I couldn’t bear it any more.
As soon as I broke away, he dabbed my tears with his fingertips. “I know you can’t say it right now. It’s too hard.”
“I wish I could,” I mumbled into his neck as I buried my head in his shoulder. “Please, you have to know…”
“Don’t worry, I know how you feel. That’s not what this is about.” He cradled me in his arms and pressed his forehead into mine. “Don’t cry, gorgeous. I know it sucks, but that’s just the way life is. We don’t always get what we want right now, and sometimes we have to go through the muck to get it. I just want you to know that I’ll be there, waiting for you on the other side. And believe me, it’ll be worth it. Just to keep you safe.”
Pulling back to stare straight into his eyes, I lifted my index finger and placed it on his chest. With slow, pain-staking strokes, I started drawing on his navy blue T-shirt. Letter by letter, I traced the words I wanted to say to him. As if they could burn through the fabric and form a tattoo on his heart. I…LOVE…YOU.
His breath hitched as he caught the meaning. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited,” he murmured as his mouth overtook my lips again.
I wrapped him up tight, locking away the moment in my heart forever. I kissed him until the Hudson blurred into the sky, hoping this kiss would carry me through the next weeks and months without him. Hoping this feeling would travel across the ocean with me until we could see each other again.
All too soon, I’d be on a plane that’d take me far away from Will. Too far. But nothing, not even distance could keep us apart. Somewhere deep inside, I knew Will’s promises were nothing like Bryan’s—hollow, empty, and full of regret. Will was stronger than that. And he made me stronger.
Bryan and the Guardians were wro
ng about one thing. The Seer needed some distractions. Will was just the right kind of distraction. Someone to fight for, someone to keep me going when things got to be too much for me. Just like Shanda always did.
I knew what lay ahead of me—a bleak fight that I wouldn’t always agree with. But even a girl who sees the supernatural needs something to ground her and keep her pointed in the right direction.
I couldn’t predict the future. That just wasn’t my gift. But because of one boy, I was starting to figure out who I was and who I was meant to become. It just wasn’t the boy I thought it’d be. But I wasn’t the same girl I was a year ago.
It was time to say goodbye to the shy girl who let everyone lead her around like a lost sheep, who only wanted an ordinary life. Without even realizing it, I’d turned into the girl I’d always wanted to be—an independent woman who made her own choices, stood on her own two feet, and fought for what she loved.
Now I had to be more than ordinary. For myself. For Will. For Shanda.
And I’d made my choice to finally accept my destiny and become Lucy McAllen—the Seer.
You’d better watch out, Nexis. This Seer is about to bring the fight to Europe.
More ...
Join my mailing list Barbara’s Angels to receive your FREE copy of The Nexis Awakening: A Nexis Prequel.
Click here to read all about James and his adventures before he got banished by Nexis! (You’ll also hear from eighth-grade Lucy!)
Dear Reader,
I hope you enjoyed Crossing Nexis. This book was hard to write for many reasons, because I wanted to switch love interests and kill off one of my favorite characters. (Which I hope you will eventually forgive me for.) Not to mention that Crossing Nexis is a sequel, and we all know how those usually turn out.
But the main reason this book took so long to write is because my husband of 10 years got diagnosed with cancer in the middle of writing this book. Nine months after his diagnosis of Stage 4 Melanoma, he passed away. During the time that he had cancer, so many people loved on us and supported us. But after he died I was devastated. I stopped writing for almost two years.
Crossing Nexis Page 30