by Amy Sumida
Suddenly, I knew I made a monumental mistake by not running away from them. If they could see this so easily, how could I possibly keep my secrets safe?
Shaken, I didn’t move when the bell rang, sitting there until the whole class filed out. Well, almost the whole class, Stetson sat there, too, studying me. I tried to speak, but I couldn’t. He leaned toward me. Lifting his hand, he brushed some hair behind my left ear, then he kept his hand on my cheek. His thumb brushed my bottom lip. I gasped, inhaling the scent of him. Smoky, earthy, and yet pure somehow.
“Let’s get you to the library, Joey,” he whispered, as if he knew using my real name would break the spell I found myself under. “I heard you’re our new study buddy.”
“Huh?”
He chuckled. “Come on, pretty girl.” He picked up my bag and slung it over his shoulder; he didn’t have one of his own.
I followed Stetson to the library in a daze. What the heck just happened? If I didn’t know better, I’d say we experienced what books describe as a moment, but I must be wrong. I couldn’t have had a moment with Stetson. I don’t even like Stetson. Do I? No. I can’t. He’s obnoxious and considers himself God’s gift to womankind. So then, why does my stomach still tingle? I can’t focus on this right now.
When we got into the library I scanned the room out of habit. I found my musings from English proved right, several kids from my English class camped out in here getting a head start on the homework. Considering how small our school was, our library was pretty big. The computers stood sentinel in a bank to the right of the door, and the center of the room held both round and rectangular tables. The bookshelves took up the whole left side of the room, and our librarian, Mrs. Tinnel, smiled as she checked out some books at the circulation desk to the left of the doors.
To our left, the rest of the guys lounged around a round table. Walking over to join them, Matt pulled out the empty seat next to him for me. Not wanting to draw this out, I planted myself in the chair he offered.
“Hey, Joey,” Jaidon said from across the table, not as shy as he was earlier. “How was your day?”
“Well, you guys were there for most of it, but it was pretty good.” I smiled at him.
Stetson jumped in, “Some douche bag was giving her trouble in the hallway.”
Their heads turned toward me at the same time. It creeped me out. “That was just David being David. Don’t worry about him.”
“He was insulting you. I damn near punched him in the face.” Stetson took the seat next to me and without conscious thought I reached out and touched his shoulder.
“I’m used to it. He’s pissy because I’ll be valedictorian and he won’t.”
“Um, excuse me,” Alex said, “Joey? You know Jaidon will give you a run for your money for valedictorian, right?”
I focused on Jaidon, expecting him to shrink back at the attention, but he straightened his shoulders and smiled at me. He delivered an honest, unpracticed smile, which charmed me a little.
“Righteous,” I said. “I need some decent competition.”
Jaidon winked at me. I’m beginning to think my first impression of him was wrong.
I pulled out my English textbook and some paper to begin the outlines assigned for tonight.
“Before we get started,” Matt said, “you need to know we discussed it, and we decided to keep you.”
Shocked a bit by the longest sentence Matt had uttered to me, I tried to focus on his words, but they didn’t make sense. “That’s the second time today someone’s mentioned keeping me. I’m not some stray puppy. You can’t decide to keep me. Besides, we’ve known each other for like, five minutes. You don’t know enough about me to decide something like this.”
“Too late,” Bishop sing-songed as Matt patted the top of my head again. This time, I did growl.
Alex spoke up, “Joey, we’re used to forming friendships really quickly. It comes from being a foster kid, so it just means we’ve got your back. Don’t worry about it. We want to be your friends.”
My gut clenched, not sure I could be friends with them. After Stetson’s sketch, I’m pretty sure these guys already notice too many things about me. Being their friend might make this whole delicate, house of cards life I spend every waking moment balancing, tumble down. Being honest with myself, today had been more fun than any other day I’ve experienced in this school, and the credit for that went to these guys. I can’t figure out why I didn’t feel the need to run in fear from these guys like I do with almost everyone else, but I’m comfortable with them. Could I really walk away from them? My head spun a little at the thought. I sighed. No, I can’t. I nodded at the guys.
Bishop cheered, flinching and holding his hands up to appease the dozen people around us who immediately shushed him. Turning to me, he spoke in an excited whisper. “That’s great! Don’t worry, we’ll work up to you trusting us with your life. Oh, and be prepared to have your personal space invaded, a lot. I, for one, don’t recognize people’s bubbles.”
Matt muttered next to me, “Ain’t that the truth.”
I took a breath. “Okay, but for today, can we start with studying?”
Stetson brushed my hair back from my face. “Yeah, babe, we can do that.”
Chapter Three
Running
Miracle of all miracles, my car started on the first try after school, and I headed off to work. I only worked a couple of days a week, pulling six to eight hour shifts on the weeknights I worked.
I slipped into the bathroom to change into my uniform and threw my clothes into my backpack. Stowing my bag in the manager’s office, I clocked in. Checking the board next to the door, I scanned for my name. I found myself scheduled to work dining room register today, which meant my night would be busy in waves. I would be slammed for about forty-five minutes, running around like a chicken with its head cut off, then it would slow down for a couple of hours until the dinner rush.
Mr. Keeler came in with another guy about ten minutes before I expected to get slammed. Smart man. As they walked up to the counter, I noticed they held hands. Tall and mega muscular, Mr. Keeler’s escort had a square jawline and a long buzz cut which gave him a quasi-military look. His blue eyes were so clear, they almost looked like ice. For an older guy, this dude qualified for hunk status. Right on, Mr. Keeler.
“Hi, Mr. Keeler.” I gave him a big smile. “What can I get for you?”
“Hi, Joey, right?” Mr. Keeler returned my smile. “We’ve got a hungry bunch of teenagers at home. Do you think there’s enough food in this building to satisfy them?”
I pursed my lips and tilted my head as I considered his question. “You know I’ve seen Matt and Bishop eat, right?”
The guy with Mr. Keeler laughed, let go of Mr. Keeler’s hand, and put his arm around Mr. Keeler’s waist. “She’s got us there.”
They put in their to-go order, and I hustled around to get the order complete before we got slammed. To be honest, it held the record as one of the biggest orders I ever filled.
The rest of my shift went by peacefully. During my break, I read, and when we closed I stood with my backpack on, ready for the day to be over. It took me four tries and twenty minutes to get my car started.
I sighed and drove home.
The light, a beacon of my impending doom, shone through several windows at my home. My hands shook at this omen as I parked and cut the engine. I left my bag in the car. I spent hours finishing my homework, and I didn’t need to get it ripped or stomped on.
Bracing myself, I took a deep breath as I walked up onto the porch. My heart already beat double-time. The shaking in my hands spread quickly up my arms, through the rest of my body. The scent of my own fear clogged my throat. Life shouldn’t be like this. Before I could put my key in the lock, the door flew open. My dad stood there, but stepped to the side to let me in. As I passed him, the smell of stale beer nearly choked me; that was new. When had he started drinking?
“Where have you been?” he growled at me
.
“Work. I had some trouble getting my car started.” Fear skittered down my spine.
“Don’t lie to me.” The expected slap snapped across my face.
I bent, but didn’t go down. If I went down this early, he’d feel the need to kick me. My hand went to my right cheek to rub the sting. “I’m not lying. It took me twenty minutes to get the car to start. I came straight home.”
“You think you can walk in here and lie to me?” He punched me in the stomach. The pain took a second to hit me, like it always did. My whole body numbed for a split second before the pain echoed out from where his fist made contact. When I didn’t stand up fast enough for him, he grabbed my throat and pinned me to the wall. The glass bowl on the table next to us crashed to the floor and shattered. “I’ll teach you not to lie to me.”
He squeezed my throat. I tried to gasp out, “Dad,” but no sound came out. I beat at his arms, which did me no good. No humanity remained in his eyes, only some sick pleasure. He liked watching me struggle. As he tightened his grip on my throat, I scratched frantically at his hands, trying to loosen them enough for me to get a breath. The edges of my vision blackened. I don’t want to die like this. I kicked at him, and my feeble attempt at self-defense made him mad enough to let go of my neck and punch my stomach again.
My hands and knees hit the ground. He left me coughing and choking for air over the burn in my throat and the pain in my gut. Blood oozed out of small cuts on my knees and my right palm because of the glass I landed on. It stung like hell.
“You’re worthless.” He spits at me. “Your mother would be ashamed of you.”
The tears and snot flowed down my face now. He shuffled off to his room and slammed the door.
It took me a while to gather myself. I limped into the bathroom and studied my face. A red mark the size of a hand graced my cheek and finger-shaped red marks added to the fading bruises already on my neck. Thank God it’s January, I can wear a scarf tomorrow, since I’ve worn all my turtlenecks this week.
Using the tweezers from the medicine cabinet, I pulled the glass out of my knees and hand. Ignoring the sting, I slathered on some anti-bacterial ointment and bandaged the cuts. After limping back out to the front room, I cleaned up the mess and righted everything else on the table. I’d catch a whole new level of hell if it was still destroyed when Dad got up in the morning. As pain radiated from my palm and knees, I glanced around the room, making sure everything appeared normal. With practiced ease, I checked that the kitchen was straightened up: trash can and sink empty, food put away. I took a couple of pain pills before I left the kitchen, knowing it would help me get a jump on the pain tomorrow. I could manage to move normally while in pain, practice made perfect there, but being able to move normally didn’t make the pain disappear.
I dragged myself down the hall to my room, set my alarm, and fell face first into my bed. I remembered my mom and how gentle she always handled me. How she’d sing me to sleep at night, and how she loved dancing in the living room with dad. If I tried hard enough, I could still smell her perfume as she hugged me and feel her hands running a brush through my hair as I talked to her about boys. No, Dad, Mom would be ashamed of you.
The next morning, I chose my outfit with careful consideration. Picking out a pair of loose jeans and a long-sleeved burgundy t-shirt, I dressed quickly. A white vest and a scarf complimented the outfit, managing to seem normal and still cover my bruises. I needed to make sure I didn’t let my scarf get too loose today. Some foundation and powder covered the red mark on my face well enough. I brushed my hair out, my head still tender, slipped on some lip gloss, and called it good enough.
Checking out my window, Dad’s car wasn’t parked in the driveway, so he already left for work. I munched on an apple while I made my lunch. Remembering yesterday, I made a sandwich for Bishop, too. He always seemed to be hungry.
My car started on the second try and off to school I went. The beginning part of my day didn’t seem to go as planned. As soon as I got out of my car, I gained company. Alex met me on the way to my locker.
“Hey, Joey.” He nudged my shoulder with his as he took my bag. “Dads said they saw you at work last night. How’d it go?”
How cute was it he called them Dads? “It was work.” I shrugged and opened my locker. He held my bag out, allowing me to open it, switch to my morning class books and put away afternoon books. Closing my locker, he guided me toward the office. He opened the door for me, and we both went in. He sat my bag down, leaned in to kiss my cheek, and left.
What just happened? My fingers found the spot on my cheek; my touch did nothing to still the tingling his lips left behind. Why did he do that?
Was he staking a claim? Or did he kiss everyone? I was probably making too big a fuss out of this, but it was a big deal for me. No one ever kissed me before. Did that even qualify as a kiss?
The ringing phone snapped me out of my musings, and I started off my day.
Matt arrived to walk me to my first class. He took my bag from me and carried it in one hand, while using his free hand to grab mine. I assumed he needed my hand to tow me through the hall, but he matched his pace to mine, keeping me right beside him.
“So, how’s your day going?” I asked to fill the silence between us.
“Good.” His deep voice seemed to reverberate through me.
“Do you plan on walking me to second period every day?”
“Yes.”
“Do you always talk so much?” I huffed in exasperation.
“Nope.” I peered up at him, and if the twinkle in his eye hadn’t given him away, I might have taken him seriously.
“Nice try, buddy.” I bumped him with my shoulder.
He walked me into class and left me at my desk in front of Alex. Squeezing my hand, he pounded Alex’s fist and took off.
I waited, anxious to know if Alex would say anything about Matt holding my hand, but he didn’t. He asked me how first period went, but before I could answer, the teacher entered the room. Per her usual, she jumped right into her lecture, and my hand went a mile a minute trying to keep up. I wrote three pages of notes before the bell rang.
Yesterday brought me extra attention, but today, I received twice as many glances, probably because Matt and Alex each held one of my hands. We chatted about classes until we got to Calculus. Jaidon greeted us at the door. On their way out, Matt and Alex got high fives from Jaidon before they hugged me. Okay, something has to be going on here. Jaidon took my backpack from Alex and walked me to my seat.
“What’s going on?” I couldn’t keep the question in any more.
“What do you mean?” He raised an eyebrow in puzzlement.
“Why are you guys being so touchy-feely?”
“We told you we’re keeping you. That means you’re one of us, but we can’t do the same stuff with you that we do with each other. You’re a girl.”
“Well that’s the shock of the century,” I deadpanned.
“No, seriously. Does it bother you? Do you hate it?”
I pursed my lips, considering it. “No, but I was wondering if it meant something.”
“Of course, it does. It means we like you. But don’t worry, we’re not trying to take advantage or anything. Dads would kick our butts.”
I guess he made sense. It didn’t really bother me, but it made me nervous. Something about them kept me from really being afraid. I didn’t trust many people, but for some reason I couldn’t place, I trusted them.
Once class started, I hunkered down to the Calculus demon. Only, today, it seemed to make more sense. Some of the things Jaidon explained yesterday helped me understand what the teacher built on today. For the first time in forever, the bell rang, and I didn’t question my sanity for taking this class. Elated, I wanted to clap my hands and dance. I surprised Jaidon as well as myself when I looped my arm through his.
“That’s it. I’ve decided. You are my new math tutor. You can’t say no, because I won’t let you.” I playfully flu
ttered my eyelashes at him.
He gaped at me.
“No really, will you help me understand all this stuff? Because what you did yesterday actually made what that man said not sound like ancient Greek.”
“Sure, I’ll help you.” He appeared more confident. I’m beginning to notice when it comes to academics, this guy is not shy. Maybe that’s why I keep seeing both sides of him, the bashful boy and the academic achiever.
By the time we got to the lunchroom, my ribs throbbed. I needed to take a few more painkillers, but I couldn’t find the time to. My limp became a little more pronounced on my way to the lunch table. With the guys thinking I had a fall, I allowed myself the luxury of babying my aches. This time the empty seat they left for me sat between Bishop and Stetson. I lowered myself down, and Stetson leaned into me and brushed the hair out of my face. He used the back of his fingers to slowly caress my cheek as he pulled away.
“Hey.” I swear this dude could make money reading the phone book with that voice.
I blinked. Then, I shook my head. “Hi.”
Bishop reached around me from behind and gave me a hug. “Sup, pretty girl?”
I tried to keep from flinching, but Stetson noticed. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I’m still sore, that’s all.”
He raised an eyebrow. “From your fall?”
“Yeah.”
“A fall that didn’t leave any bruises on your arms or face?”
“Yeah.” I tried to swallow my nervousness. “What’s with the third degree?”
Matt leaned forward and touched my hand. “We’ve had those kinds of falls before. You know you can talk to us, right?”
Okay, be cool. Don’t freak out. “I’m fine. No worries.”