by K. A. Linde
“It’s not going to be enough until you stop coming around and bothering her.”
“That’s real rich, coming from you. All you did was pop up out of thin air when we were together.”
“Yeah, but I’m not like you,” Lucas said menacingly. “I won’t stand by and watch you fuck this up for me.”
“I don’t give a shit about you. I only care about Savannah. And whether or not she’s happy. Do you think she would have gone out with me if she was so very happy with you?”
“You fucking tricked her into thinking that she owed you something!” Lucas shouted. His blood was boiling over. He clenched his hands into fists and had to remind himself that Easton wasn’t worth assault charges. No matter how fucking much he wanted to bury his fist in Easton’s face.
“She did owe me something,” Easton said icily. “We owed it to each other.”
“She owes you nothing.”
Easton shrugged. “That’s not what Savannah thought. And anyway, I don’t know why you fucking care.”
“Savannah is the only person who has ever meant anything to me. You’re trying to get in the way, and I won’t let that happen.”
“Well, get in line, buddy.” Easton glared back at him. “Savannah was the only person who meant anything to me, too, and it didn’t stop you from sleeping with her when we were together.”
“It takes two people for that, buddy.”
Easton gritted his teeth. “You jerk her around like she’s a toy doll and then act like she’s as precious as a diamond to you. While I’m the one who has treated her like a diamond all along and had to watch her get slung like a yo-yo from your bullshit.”
“I’m not jerking her around. You can think whatever you want about us. I really don’t fucking care. But you and I probably should have done this a long time ago.”
“Yeah, we probably should have. So I could have said the same fucking thing to you,” he snapped. “Since you were the bastard who kept coming on to her when we were together.”
“I don’t care what happened in the past. I care what is happening in the present.” He stepped up until he was in Easton’s face. Lucas stood a good two to three inches taller than Easton when he looked down at him over the bridge of his nose. “I don’t want to have to say this again: stay the fuck away from her.”
Easton laughed, something deeply broken. “Or what?”
Lucas flexed his hands. He was itching to punch him. To silence his fucking mouth and wipe that shit-eating grin off of his face. Lucas ached deep within himself to end this right here, right now.
And the old Lucas would have.
He wouldn’t have thought twice about the consequences of his actions. But now, with everything he had on the line, he realized…Easton wasn’t worth it. And worse, Easton was just goading him. Easton wanted him to step out of line. Easton wanted to see Lucas do something stupid. Something he could use to show Savannah how she had chosen incorrectly.
But he wasn’t that guy anymore.
He took a step back.
He wouldn’t give in to this.
“I said what I had to say,” Lucas said finally. “We’re done here.”
“Why the fuck did you even come then?” Easton asked, prowling for a fight. A fight that Lucas knew Easton could never win. “You just wanted to rub it in my face that you won? Is that it? You wanted to hear me say that you fucking won?”
Lucas narrowed his eyes. “What?”
“Savannah said she chose you,” Easton ground out. He crossed his arms over his chest. “She and I are over. Congratu-fucking-lations.”
Lucas shook his head in confusion.
Why hadn’t she said anything? She’d presented what had happened but not the full story. No…this wasn’t her fault. He hadn’t let her explain herself. He’d just made assumptions about what the fuck he thought had happened. Then, they’d screamed at each other until he stormed out.
“Fuck,” he whispered before turning hastily toward the door. “This was a mistake.”
“Finally,” Easton grumbled. “Good riddance.”
Lucas nodded once and then dashed through the door. He was halfway down the hallway when he saw a figure emerge up the stairs. He slowed and then came to a step at the landing as Savannah materialized before him.
“Savi,” he breathed.
She sighed. “What did you do?”
“I’m sorry I ran out. I’m sorry for coming here. For not letting you tell me the truth without getting angry.”
She held up her hand. “Please, stop.”
He fell silent. But God, he’d fucked up. Really fucked up. And he needed to make this right. Something had taken over his body—an instinct to protect what was his. And it was fucking terrifying how easily he’d given in to it. How close he’d come to snapping and punching Easton. To ruining this all.
And for no reason at all. Because Savannah had chosen him. She’d turned Easton down. And he was the idiot who hadn’t even let her tell him that.
“I need to talk to Easton,” she said carefully. “Apologize to him for all of this.”
Lucas winced. “I could…”
“No,” she said quickly. Her calm was almost more unnerving than her anger. “I’m sure he doesn’t want to see you. Can you just wait for me downstairs, so we can talk?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “Sure.”
“Good. I’ll be right back.”
Then, he had to watch her walk past him and into the apartment she’d shared with Easton. He gritted his teeth, hating that sight. But he’d earned this. And as he trudged down the stairs, he realized he had to find a way to fix this…or she might very well leave him too.
25
The Last Good-Bye
Savannah took a deep breath before walking back into the apartment that had once belonged to her. It still felt like hers. She’d never come back and gutted the place. A part of her had held on hope for so long that they’d work it out. That she’d move back in. Then, once she and Lucas had reconciled, she had just given up on it. Put it in the past. She had everything that really mattered to her. The rest was just fluff, and Easton could decide what to do with it all.
Easton’s head snapped up at her entrance. “Savannah!”
“Hey, are you okay?”
He laughed despairingly. “I’m assuming you’re not here to get back together?”
She shook her head once. “No, I’m not.”
“I didn’t think so.” Easton rose to his feet with a sigh.
He stood and opened his palm to reveal what was inside. It was the diamond ring. The one he’d proposed with.
A lump formed in her throat. She didn’t know what to say. Maybe there was nothing to say.
“I thought you’d wear this again someday,” he admitted. “Kept it, of course, hoping. But I was an idiot and saw it all too late.”
“I’m sorry,” she said and meant it. Because she had done horrible things to bring them to this moment…and so had he. “Also for Lucas’s behavior.”
Easton closed his fist over the diamond again. “You really want to choose him?”
She bit her lip. She didn’t want to have this conversation with Easton again either. “I know that you’ll never understand.”
“No, I won’t. Especially not after he burst in here and threatened me.”
Savannah sighed. “I don’t know what he said. But I’m sorry that he came at all. That you got dragged back into this. You don’t deserve that. I really do mean what I said earlier today…that I hope you find someone great for you.”
“You were great for me,” he said hoarsely.
“When we worked, we were great. But we didn’t always work.”
“And you think you work with him? Good luck with that.”
“I know that you don’t mean that sincerely, but…thank you anyway. I really do wish you the best.”
“I know, Savannah,” he said on a sigh. “I just wish your best wasn’t with him.”
She stepped forward one more time and wrapp
ed her arms around his neck. He stalled for a few seconds before pulling her against him. There were no words that could make what had happened between them okay. She could never convince Easton that Lucas was the right choice. Or make him see that he could find someone better. They weren’t there yet. Maybe they’d never get there. But she could give them both what they really needed—closure.
She took one more deep breath and then pulled back. This was good-bye. They both knew it. And they lingered over it for an extra minute. The end of an era.
Then, she gave him a small half-smile before walking back out the door and closing it firmly behind her. Where it belonged.
A chill ran down her spine as she approached the landing of her former apartment building. Today had been illuminating, to say the least. But she wasn’t looking forward to this final confrontation any more than she had looked forward to the others. She felt cracked open. Like an egg left out on a hot summer day. She didn’t know if she’d end up over easy or rotten. Part of her didn’t want to find out.
But she couldn’t walk away from this with Lucas either. She’d given him no reason not to be mad. She’d wanted to ease him into the news. And then by the time they were finished screaming at each other, she’d realized she should have led with saying that she and Easton were over and she only wanted Lucas. Who could have known her honesty was going to be the real problem?
Not that he’d asked what she’d said. But she should have volunteered the information. Instead, she’d let her anger rise to the occasion. She couldn’t do that now.
She sighed as she stepped outside into the oppressive heat and found him sitting on the stoop, staring out at the passing vehicles.
“Mind if I have a seat?” she asked, lightly nudging him with her toe.
He glanced up at her with raw anguish on his face. “Please do. Savannah, I—”
She stopped him again with a shake of her head before taking a seat on the stairs. She looked straight ahead, trying to decide where to begin. “Why do we keep doing this?”
He sighed heavily. “I don’t know. Because we care about each other too much.”
“Is it always going to be this way?”
He paused before responding, “No. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I know,” she said.
Because, of course, he didn’t want to. But somehow, they kept hurting each other. It was a sick cycle that she didn’t know how to break.
“I am sorry, Savannah,” Lucas said. “I should have never yelled at you or run out of that apartment or done any of it. I’ve been trying so hard to be better for you…for us. And then I go and fuck it all up again.”
“You know…you never asked me what I said to Easton when he said that he wanted us to get back together…that he still loved me.”
Lucas swallowed. His Adam’s apple bobbing. “I think…part of me didn’t want to know. I couldn’t bear to hear that you wanted to go back with him.”
She finally turned her gaze to meet his. “Why would you think that I did?”
“I was second best to him for three years,” he said with a sad shrug. “I wanted it to be different, but my brain kept telling me that I’d fuck it up. That you’d decide on the sensible choice. You’d go back to him now that he’d asked you to.”
“The crazy thing is…that Easton has felt second best to you for nearly that long too.”
Lucas frowned. “Yeah, well, the only thing I could think was that if I confronted him, then I could make it stop. That if he’d manned up and confronted me years ago, maybe I would have stopped.”
“Would you have?” she asked curiously.
“You know…probably not.”
She laughed softly. Because she knew he wouldn’t have stopped. Not for a second. “I think Easton was right. I think he was second best to you all those years. No matter what I said.” She looked up into his eyes. “My heart knew it was you.”
“It was always you, Savi.”
Tears welled in her eyes at the impossibility of this situation. Things weren’t okay. She knew that they couldn’t keep doing this to each other. She’d never survive the fighting or anger. But she loved him. She knew she did in that moment more than she ever had. Something she had never admitted to him or anyone else, let alone herself. But she knew it now. At the worst possible time.
“Don’t cry,” he whispered. He brushed the tears off of her cheeks. “Please, don’t cry, Savi. We’ll figure this out.”
“I think all we’ve done is prove each other right. I knew you didn’t want me to see Easton, but I saw him anyway. And you knew I wanted us to be calm about all this, and still, you acted rashly. Despite how amazing it’d been the last couple of weeks, we still ended up here.” She swallowed back her tears. She didn’t want to cry in this moment. She wanted answers. Answers that she didn’t have. A choice she didn’t want to have to make. “Where do we go from that, Lucas? Because I really don’t know.”
“Just because we’ve messed up doesn’t mean that we give up. We would never have ever been together if we’d given up so easily. And I can’t give up on you, Savi. I won’t.”
“Do you ever think that we just have too much baggage?” she asked him hollowly.
“No. I think we have history. And history can be good, and it can be bad. But it doesn’t have to repeat itself.” He placed his hand on hers. “Look at me.”
She slid her gaze to his.
“If you think that I’m going to walk away because you talked to Easton, you’re wrong. Do I like it? No. But I said I’m going to fight for you, Savannah, and I am. I said I wanted this to be different, and it will be.”
“This feels the same,” she told him honestly.
Lucas slowly rose to his feet. Then, he held his hand out to her and hoisted her up. “It’s not the same. We’re in an adjustment period. We’ve never done this before. Not together. I think we should give it more than two weeks before saying it all feels the same.”
“But…you really thought I’d get back together with Easton? After everything?” she couldn’t help but ask.
“Did you really think I’d go on the road and sleep with a bunch of groupies because I was bored?” he challenged.
“No,” she said.
“Good, because I’d never do that. Every girl before you was just me trying to forget you. Now that I have you…I can’t imagine ever looking at someone else.”
She laughed, swiping at her eyes again. “God, why is this so stupid?”
“Because I’m crazy about you.”
“I wish it didn’t drive us both crazy.”
He sighed and ran a hand back through his hair. “The way I see it, we have two choices going forward. One, now that everything is out in the open, we find a way to work this out to be together. Or two…we walk. I think that choice is yours.”
“Lucas…”
“It’s yours, Savi. You already know what I want.”
“Tell me,” she insisted.
“I could never walk away from you,” he said, sliding a hand around her waist and tugging her a little closer. “I’ll do whatever it takes to be the man you deserve. Look, I could have gone in there and punched Easton like I wanted, but I held back.”
She snorted. “Oh, you poor thing. You didn’t get to punch someone.”
“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to punch him?”
“Please shut up,” she said with a laugh and a shake of her head.
“Well, I’ve told you my choice.”
“I’m not walking away, Lucas. I think we can work on this, but I don’t know how. I feel like getting it all out in the open is the first step. But it’s so easy to fall back into old routines and fears.”
“Then, maybe…we need to start over.”
She furrowed her brow. “Didn’t we do that?”
“Yes, and no. I was thinking more like…we should get away from the world and focus on us. What we really want and need. Rather than just pushing it aside with everything that’s happening in
the real world.”
“Is this a con to get me to go on vacation with you?”
His fingers threaded up into her hair. The intensity in that stare almost unnerved her. “I want us to work. I want us to get that trust back. If that means I take you on vacation for a few days…then that seems okay with me.”
“With your shiny, new bonus check?”
He caressed her cheek. “Better to put it to good use, spoiling my girl.”
“What about work? I can’t get days off on short notice.”
“How about Labor Day weekend then?”
She didn’t have any other objections. Really, she didn’t have any objections. She desperately wanted this to work out with Lucas. But her resolve had been cracked and her fears exposed. She was terrified to keep trying and having her heart broken over and over. But if she didn’t try, she’d regret it for the rest of her life.
“Where would we go?”
And he smiled, realizing that he had her. “I know just the place.”
26
Hilton Head Island
Hilton Head had always felt like Savannah’s summer escape. The place she went to get away from the world and reconnect. It was the site of many memorable family vacations. But she’d never actually been out here alone. Not until this weekend with Lucas.
She stepped out onto the back deck as Lucas brought their suitcases in. She breathed in the salty air with relief. The last two weeks had been…slow. They’d been taking things slow. What had happened with Easton had shown them both that they needed to be more conscious, more present. As much as she wanted to dive headfirst into all the physical again, she knew they’d kind of used it as an excuse. It was something they were already good at.
She blushed when she thought of it.
Really, really good at.
And while they’d known each other their whole lives, they had spent the last four years in different cities. Which left a lot of gaps in what they knew about each other. She wanted her best friend back as much as her boyfriend. And the gradual merging of the two felt like sweet relief.