by V. T. Do
“Why? Is she still trying to cope with the incident?”
“You don’t need to worry. Tonight has nothing to do with what happened over the summer.”
Max sucked in a sharp breath. “How do you know? Did she say something to you?”
“She would probably kill me if she knew I was telling you this, but you need to stop worrying about what happened tonight. She… likes someone. And things aren’t going great right now between them. But it’s nothing you have to worry about. I’m positive everything will work out between them.”
Lizzie was right. I was going to kill her.
This was not what I wanted Max to know. In the back of my mind, I knew Lizzie was only telling Max to ease his worry, but still, how could this help? Me liking someone was what started this whole thing. It was the reason why I was broken, and why Max was hurting.
I moved a little closer when I heard Max let out a sigh. I wasn’t sure if that sigh was a good thing or not. “She likes someone?”
“Yeah.”
“Is he… is he good to her? How does he treat her?”
I wanted to cry over the heartbreak I heard in his voice. Lizzie’s voice softened when she answered him. “He’s pretty good to her. And I think he likes her, too.”
“Then what’s the problem? He’s damn lucky someone as sweet as Olivia likes him.”
There was a smile in her voice when she said, “It’s complicated, Max. Just let thing work themselves out, okay?”
“Okay? She’s getting drunk because of him. Maybe he’s not so good for her after all.”
“Oh, calm down. I doubt you didn’t do worse things than she’s doing in college. Hell, even high school.”
Max was quiet for a moment, and I smiled. She got him there. It was no secret that he had a wild streak in high school, and even in college. His mom told me some of the stories that she knew. There were probably more stories that she didn’t, and they were probably worse.
“Okay. Before I let you go back to sleep, there’s something else I want to ask you.”
“Yeah?”
“Are you okay, Lizzie?”
I held my breath and waited by the door. That was something we never got around to talking about. Lizzie said she would tell me about it soon, but I wanted to know now. I wanted to know if she was in trouble.
“Why do you ask?” she replied softly.
“You look sad, sweetheart. I just want to know if everything is okay with you. And if it’s not, if there’s anything I can do to make it all better.”
Her voice was hoarse when she answered, which told me she was on the verge of tears. “You can’t make it better. No one can.”
“Lizzie?” Max said, sounding unsure. I thought I heard feet shuffling.
It was a while before anyone said anything. And when Lizzie spoke, I couldn’t make out what she said. Her voice had sounded muffled, like she was in Max’s arms.
“It’ll be okay. I promise. Things will just work out the way they’re supposed to,” he said.
I moved away from the door to give them some privacy. Before, when they were talking about me, I didn’t feel bad listening in. Now, it felt like I was intruding on their moment.
Quietly, I climbed back into bed and pulled the covers up. And I tried to go back to sleep, but between the pounding headache, thoughts of Mason, and even Lizzie’s situation, there was no way that was going to happen.
I heard Lizzie coming back into the room some time later. Then she climbed into bed with me and was fast asleep within a minute. I stayed up well into the early morning, only falling into a restless slumber around five in the morning, when the sun was beginning to rise.
34
Olivia
By the time I woke up, it was already passed noon, and I felt like shit.
One look in the bathroom mirror told me I didn’t look any better.
There were bags under my eyes, and my face felt and looked a little puffy. I was never drinking again.
I groaned and bent forward until my head rested against the counter, and I closed my eyes. Maybe I should go back to sleep. Or maybe I could sleep here. This position was surprisingly comfortable, and the countertop was cool against my skin.
A knock on the door took me out of my thoughts. When I moved my head to the side to see who it was, a squeak came out of me when I caught sight of Mason at the threshold. He looked amused.
“Oh, my God,” I said. I closed my eyes. This couldn’t be real. He couldn’t possibly be standing there while I looked my worst.
“Um, I think it’s pretty real, Livie. Come now, sweetheart. Stop hiding from me.”
I didn’t even realize I said all those things out loud. “Go away. I look hideous.”
He laughed. “No, you look hungover. Which is to be expected considering the state you were in last night.”
I scowled. Perhaps it was unreasonable to think he was the cause of my state last night, but that was where the blame went.
Mason stopped smiling then. “I brought you a glass of water and some painkillers. It’ll really help with the headache.”
“Okay.”
“Can we talk?” He motioned with his head to my bedroom. I nodded.
Mason walked out and I followed behind. Then I was sitting on my bed and Mason was sitting on my desk chair, staring at me while I drank the water, and took two of the white pills he gave me.
I stared at the door, wondering how much we could talk about. Max and Lizzie would surely be home. As if reading my thoughts, Mason said, “You don’t have to worry. They left to go to the grocery store earlier. It’s just us.”
It’s just us. I liked the sound of that. I liked the way he said the word us even more. And I liked that this meant we were home alone, even if I was pissed off at him.
“What did you want to talk about?” I asked, finally.
“About last night. I was a bastard.”
“Yes, you were.”
I wasn’t going to sugarcoat it. He… hurt me, last night. My heart still pinched from the thought.
“I’m sorry, Livie.”
“Why did you do it? It would be different if I knew you actually liked this person and you wanted to put yourself out there and date. But you didn’t go because you wanted to. You went because we kissed again.”
He looked away and I knew that had been the real reason.
“Would you believe me if I told you, you scare me?”
“Me? Scare you?” I shook my head. How could a five-foot-three girl scare someone like him? It wasn’t possible.
He smiled warily. “Yes, you. Do you have any idea how much I want to just say fuck the consequences and do whatever I want?”
Yes, please. I would like that very much. I didn’t say it. I didn’t say anything. But the blush on my face said it all.
He ran his hand down my cheek, and I closed my eyes, loving the way his rough palm felt against my skin, loving the stark contrast between us. He was rough and hard where I was soft and supple.
“We can’t work, Livie.”
“Why not?” I was proud about how calm I felt.
“Why not? Because you’re young. And inexperienced. I will not be the monster who destroys all of that.”
“Eighteen is not that young. At what age would you consider me to be old enough? What birthday would suddenly make me an adult, capable of making decisions about my life and my body?”
“No single birthday would be enough. Because now, and in the future, you would still be too good for a bastard like me.”
I scoffed. “You don’t know me very well if that’s what you think. I don’t want anyone making decisions for me. Can’t you see how helpless I felt when Lorenzo took away my ability to consent? Are you going to do that to me?”
Mason blanched, and he shook his head. “Of course not. I know you are capable of making decisions on your own. It still doesn’t mean I don’t want to protect you, even if I’m protecting you from me.”
“Protect me?” I wanted t
o throw the glass of water in his face. “I don’t need you protect me. I especially don’t need you to protect me from you.”
I stood up and started pacing my room. I needed something to do with myself or I would give into the temptation. The only thing stopping me was this monstrous headache I had.
He watched me with wary eyes, running his fingers through his jet-black hair. “You say that because you don’t understand.”
“Don’t understand what?” I asked quietly. Somehow, I knew I wasn’t going to like his answer. Mason stood up and walked closer to me. I tilted my head back to take in his tall frame and resisted the urge to move back. I wasn’t going to act like a frightened prey.
“You don’t understand how a man like me can ruin you.”
I laughed, the sound cold and without humor. “Ruin me? What are you afraid of? That you might break me?”
“Oh, I know I can.”
I blushed and looked down. “Of course you can. I mean, look at you. But you’ll be careful with me.”
He let out a sigh. “I’m not talking about that, Livie.”
I shrugged, like I wasn’t totally imagining him covering my body with his, or him moving against me in the sweetest way possible. The last time I felt him between my legs was still seared into my memory.
“Look at me, Livie.”
I peeked up at him.
“I would never do anything to hurt you physically. I hope you know that.”
“I do know that. I wouldn’t have slept in your arms for so many nights if I wasn’t sure.”
He smiled a little. “Good. But that doesn’t mean I’m good for you. We shouldn’t do this. You’re far too young, too inexperienced, for the likes of me.”
The anger surged back, and I shoved him. He didn’t even move an inch, which just pissed me off even more. “What do you suggest I do? Go out and gain more experience before I come back to you. Is that it? Would you like me to find someone man enough to take my virginity so you wouldn’t feel so bad when I finally get into your bed? Huh?” I moved closer, getting into his face. “I can find someone to teach me how to fuck, Mason.”
He grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back, anger marring his all-too-perfect face. “Jesus. Why are you talking like this?”
“How else am I supposed to talk? Like the shy, innocent little girl you want to protect so badly?”
He let go of my shoulders and took a step back, running his fingers through his hair in agitation. I hated that. I hated how much distress this was obviously causing him.
“I’ll kill anyone who dares touch you,” he said in a low voice.
“So you would rather touch me instead.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“So you won’t touch me, but you don’t want anyone else to touch me either?”
“I don’t want anyone to touch you when you’re clearly not ready for it.”
“How do you know I’m not ready?” I asked, taking a step closer to him. He looked like he wanted to bolt. I purposely positioned myself in front of the door.
“How can you be?”
“Because I’m inexperienced, right?”
I tugged on my shirt, and Mason’s eyes widened. I would’ve found his reaction to be comical, if the reality of it wasn’t so sad.
He looked scared that I was going to take my shirt off in front of him.
I hesitated for second, and despite my better judgement, I removed my shirt, leaving me in nothing but cotton sleep shorts. I threw the white t-shirt on the floor and looked back up again, feigning confidence, when all I really wanted to do was cover my breasts.
“What are you doing, Olivia?” he choked out, bending down to pick up my shirt. He made a move to put it back on me, but I stubbornly held my arms by my side, and unless he forced me, I wasn’t going to do it.
I moved closer to him, until my chest touched the soft fabric of his shirt. My nipples hardened upon contact, and Mason sucked in a sharp gasp. He closed his eyes when I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in close.
“Do I feel like a little kid to you?” I asked in a soft whisper. “Is what I’m doing so bad?”
He didn’t say anything as I moved my lips up to kiss his jaw. Mason’s eyes drifted shut, so I cupped his cheek, loving the way his stubbled moved against my palm. “Look at me, Mason. I don’t need you to protect me.”
He gave a quick shake of his head. I was growing more and more frustrated. It wasn’t like I didn’t know he was interested in me. He couldn’t have faked that when we kissed. And he couldn’t hide his interest from me. Not when my stomach was pressed so closely to him. Not when I could feel his excitement for me.
I yanked on his hair until he looked at me, those blue eyes of his glowing dangerously. I should be afraid of him, but I wasn’t.
I was just angry.
“You’re a coward, you know that?”
“Olivia—”
“No, you don’t get to talk. You are a coward. I know you have feelings for me. But you won’t act on them, and that makes you a fucking coward.”
I moved my hands to his chest and pushed. The move must have surprised him, because he stepped back, his eyes widening.
“I may be the inexperienced one out of the two of us, but I have more balls than you, Mason Kade!”
I turned to walk out there, before he could see the tears stinging my eyes, but just as I got to the threshold, his arms shot out and pulled me back. I was breathing hard, and now I wished I had put my shirt back on, because my chest was moving in and out in the most obscene way.
We didn’t say anything for a minute. I looked out to the door while he stayed right behind me, his big hands curled around my shoulders, covering them whole.
“What do you want?” I growled.
He bent down so his lips were by my ear. “You want me to touch you, little girl?”
My breath caught and I felt almost light-headed. Did he really just say that to me?
He shook my shoulders a little, before moving his hands down to my waist, bringing his hands to the front of me, covering my belly. They spanned the entire length of it, and I looked down at the stark contrast between our skin tones.
“Answer me, Olivia. I’m not moving until you answer me.”
“Y-yeah. I want you to touch me.”
He moved his hands up and down, going near my breasts. “Like this?”
I let out a small groan, and knew he was smiling when he pulled me in closer to his body, his hard erection pressed against the small of my back.
He moved one hand down, three of his fingers made their way inside the hem of my shorts.
I felt the innocent touch all the way inside my belly, and much lower down.
“Stop teasing me, Mason,” I said, my voice coming out in whispers.
“How am I teasing you, Olivia?”
He pulled his finger out and tugged the shorts up, the fabric stretching against the sensitive flesh of my sex. The friction was almost too much, and I felt myself getting wet. My eyes widened as I looked back at him.
Mason smiled a little, and there was nothing gentle about it. I never realized how many sides of Mason I had yet to see. He had always been gentle with me, and that reflected in each smile he shot my way, but this was different.
This smile was… wicked.
He turned me around until our chests were pressed firmly against each other, and the strength in that one simple move was such a turn-on. I felt more arousal gathering between my legs and clenched my muscles together.
“Tell me right now, if you want me to stop,” he said in a low voice.
“Don’t stop,” I breathed out. “God, please don’t stop.”
He smiled a little, his eyes dark. “Then say yes, baby. I’m not going to do anything until I have your consent.”
My eyes met his… and…
I might be in love with him.
I had felt so powerless under Lorenzo. He didn’t care that I said no. He didn’t care that I didn’t give m
y consent. And here was Mason, giving me back that power.
My eyes watered, and I shot him a small smile. “Yes, Mason. I want this.”
He nodded, then without warning, he pushed me until I landed on my bed with an oomph. I looked at him inquisitively, and he smiled, that half smile that I loved so much. He pulled my legs to the bed.
“No other boy is going to teach you about pleasure. Not on how to please a man, and certainly not on how to fuck. You come to me for that, understand?”
I bit my lip to keep from smiling and nodded seriously.
He offered a smile made of pure sin and grabbed the hem of my shorts. My breath caught as he pulled them off me, along with my panties.
And then I was naked in front of him for the first time, in broad daylight no less. I closed my legs together, crossing my arms over my breast, suddenly feeling shy.
Mason seemed to like that.
He took me in, his eyes devouring any bare skin he could see. He leaned down until his face was mere inches away from mine, his hot breath fanning my face.
“Everything we do or don’t do is entirely up to you, understand?” I nodded, my throat feeling too dry. “What do you want to do, Olivia?”
I cleared my throat a little and said with as much confidence as I could muster, “I want to kiss.”
“Just kiss?” he asked, amusement glinting in those ocean blues.
“And touch. I want to touch you, and for you to touch me.”
He nodded, seemingly satisfied with my answer. And there was this hungry look about him that made me bold. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him, first on his cheek, then his jaw, his nose…
Mason’s breathing was growing labored, and I felt like a goddess then.
He made me feel powerful, despite my shyness.
I took his mouth in mine, loving the way his muscles tensed beneath my touch, as if my kiss had affected him as much as it affected me.
I deepened the kiss, only to pull back when I felt him getting into it. Retribution for teasing me before.
When I did it a third time, Mason let out a low groan of frustration, and I smiled against his lips. With a growl, he took control of the kiss, and I gladly let him. As much as I liked being in control, I liked it even more when he was.