“And today?”
Rick’s cheeks warmed and he held his hands out, gesturing to her. “And today I saw you, and I—I was tired of waiting, wondering what you were doing. Damn it, I miss you.”
“Oh.” She smiled shyly up at him, hope soaring in her chest and butterflies preparing for liftoff.
“And just now,” he said, clearly puzzled, “you were ignoring me. I thought maybe you had made up your mind; you didn’t want to talk to me. That I had waited too long. Next thing I knew, I was pulling over and chasing after you.”
“I wasn’t ignoring you.”
“I know that now,” he said, rolling his eyes.
“I miss you too,” she added.
Stepping closer, he brushed the hair back from her damp forehead and ran his hand through her hair, sending a frisson of awareness racing through her spine. His contented sigh warmed her soul.
“Now what do we do?” she asked, putting the ball firmly in his court. She was done trying to figure this out.
“Now?” He looked up at the sky and back down to her. “Now you tell me if you’d like to have dinner with me.”
Joy and relief filled her. “I thought you’d never ask.”
“Tonight?”
Rachael shook her head, wrinkling her nose. “Can’t tonight. Tomorrow?”
“Pick you up at seven?”
“Sounds like a date,” she said, wishing she knew what he was thinking.
“I’m glad I saw you.” He smiled, eyes crinkling at the corners.
“Me too.”
Rick shuffled his feet and flicked a look over his shoulder at his waiting car. “I need to get back to work. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He hesitated for a moment, then kissed her on the cheek, reminding her of the first time he’d done that, outside of the bar.
As she watched him return to his car and drive away, Rachael found herself praying that this was the opportunity they needed.
25
Ahh, the glorious freedom of being behind the wheel of your own car, the elation of knowing the world was within reach again. The wind poured in through the open windows, heavy with the scents of barbecues, cut grass, and mulched flower beds. Rachael took her time, cruising down the side roads, listening to the radio, and enjoying the summer breeze. Her wet hair was pulled back in a ponytail, the warm air pulling at the loose tendrils. She plucked the hair away from her eyes and pulled into the parking lot under the faded red sign for Pam’s Diner. Sliding her sunglasses into her bag, she scanned the lot and was happy to see Carlie’s car parked already.
Rachael strolled into the diner, one of Carlie and Kim’s favorite spots. Somehow, she had never been here for dinner before, but they had awesome round-the-clock breakfast. Pancakes for dinner? Totally doable.
“Over here!” Carlie waved from one of the large booths in the two rows that lined the long and narrow diner. That particular booth ought to have a plaque saying “Property of Carlie and Kim.” Rachael passed the breakfast bar and absently spun one of the old-fashioned metal barstools nailed to the ground. The sound of spinning metal clashed with the classic bubblegum pop music, and her shoes squeaked on the black-and-white-checkered tiled floor.
Rachael gave her sister a quick hug before sliding into the booth across from her. For as much of a dive this place could have been with the wrong owners, it was very clean and there were no rips in the red upholstery. “Where’s Brent?”
“He had a late meeting,” Carlie mumbled, pushing a menu toward Rachael.
Was she upset? Rachael couldn’t get a read. “How are things going with you two?”
Car fidgeted with her silverware roll and eased off the self-adhesive paper wrap, spinning the white ring around her finger, staring at it like it was the most fascinating thing in the room. “Fine. We’re both so busy with our jobs and stuff. You know how it goes.”
“Sure, sure.” Rachael placated. “Whatever works for the two of you, I guess.”
Carlie frowned but moved on. “How are you doing?”
“Good. Head is better. I can’t wait until I no longer look like a bar brawl champion—or loser—but otherwise, I’m feeling more like myself.”
“Hear anything else from Gabe?”
She shook her head. “No. I wonder if I ever will. He was pretty great about everything as a whole. But, I don’t know. I messed up big time by sleeping with him. What was I thinking?”
“Rach, you can’t beat yourself up about this. You’re both adults. If you want to make mistakes, then at least you made them together. Just tell me it was worth it.” Carlie smiled wickedly.
Rachael laughed and felt her cheeks heat up. “All I can say is it was a very nice time.”
“Ha! I knew it!” Carlie continued to fiddle with the silverware wrap, so Rachael jumped into the other bit of news. “I ran into Rick today.”
Carlie’s mouth made a perfect O. “What happened? Did you talk?”
“He chased me down while I was walking. It was kind of funny, actually. He said he was giving me time to decide what I wanted.”
“And?”
“And we’re going to dinner tomorrow.”
Her lips curved in a satisfied smile. “I knew it.”
Rachael hesitated before asking, “Should I tell him?”
“About?”
Rachael cleared her throat meaningfully. “Gabe.”
“Does it matter?”
“I don’t know. I’ve gone back and forth several times now.” Rachael watched the condensation pool on the white Formica table at the bottom of the water glass. She trailed her finger in it, dragging a thin liquid ribbon across the table. Carlie watched, puzzled.
“Rachael, what are you thinking?”
“Just going through different scenarios.”
“Can I offer a tiny bit of advice?”
Focusing on her sister, Rachael wiped her wet finger in the palm of her hand. “Shoot.”
“I have always admired your go-get-em attitude. I know the other day I told you to go talk to him. But you do have to realize this isn’t a sales pitch. You’re not going to get him to sign on the dotted line. There is no dotted line. There’s no algorithm, no formula. This is life. It’s full of unknown variables, things we can’t even begin to imagine. And relationships, well, they’re less predictable than anything else.”
Damn, Carlie knew her too well. “Your point being?”
Her sister blew out her breath impatiently. “You can’t plan for every move and countermove. Some things you just have to feel out. You can’t fill a void with the closest tool around. Find the one that is a good fit for you.”
“To clarify, we’re not talking about sex, right?” Rachael teased.
It was Carlie’s turn to blush now, and she threw her paper ring at her. “No, you crazy person. We’re talking about heart-stopping romance. Love.”
“Love, huh? And what’s that look like?”
She shrugged. “You’ll know it when you feel it.”
“Jesus. That’s so freaking poetic, Car.”
“I know. I should totally start my own advice column.”
“Or a talk show.”
“Yes, I’m definitely the next Oprah.”
“Or Dr. Phil.”
“Shut up. I’m starving, and I’ve got carbs on the brain.”
“Pancakes?”
“Pancakes.”
* * *
Today was the day. Date day. Rachael smiled and stretched across her bed before bouncing down the stairs like a kid on Christmas morning.
“Ready to head back to the office next week?” her dad asked, voice drifting over the newspaper boundary.
Rachael nodded as she poured a giant mug of coffee. “Mhm,” she said, curious that her date tonight was roughly an excitement level of Jupiter, making work feel like Pluto, which depending on who you asked, was not even a planet.
“Your mom and I are going out of town for the holiday weekend. Will you be okay here by yourself?”
“Really? I�
�m twenty-seven years old. I’ll be fine. I’m more worried about what trouble you two will get into.”
He smiled over his paper. “You could always come with us.”
“Nah, you and Mom go do your thing. I’ve got Martini and Olive to keep me company.”
“Feel free to invite Grey Goose and Twist of Lime, too.”
“Funny. Aren’t you the comedian today?”
“Someone has to be,” said Mom, strolling into the kitchen.
“Morning, Mary.” Dad smiled.
“Morning, Charles.” She smiled back, sweet as sugar. Sometimes you’d almost forget she was a high-powered attorney. “Everything set for New York?”
“Yes, I was just asking Rachael if she’d like to join us.”
“Oh, good! Are you coming, honey?”
“No, sorry. Dogs and need to prep for next week’s meetings.”
“Work can wait, Rachael. Life won’t,” her mom commented.
She blinked. “Who are you and what did you do with my mother?”
Her mother laughed and kissed her dad’s cheek. “Think about it?” she added, locking eyes with her daughter as she picked up her bag.
Dad nodded at Mom and Rachael got the feeling they had planned this conversation. She groaned and grabbed her mug. “Martini! Olive! Let’s go outside.”
She walked out the back door and heard her parents laughing. Whatever.
Sinking into the oversized deck chair, she watched the dogs roll around in the damp morning grass and sipped her cup of joe. She pulled out her phone and skimmed through her social media feeds before opening her texting app. She saw Gabe’s name dropping lower. It had been a few days since she had last heard from him. The more time that went by, the more she began to think it might be possible to pick up as friends, once enough time passed. Rachael missed her best friend. But it wasn’t fair to keep interrupting his life. Someday he would meet someone else, someone who would love him in return. Things would be so much simpler if she could have been that someone. But she wasn’t. She loved him only as a friend. Even if he did know how to work it between the sheets.
God, Rach, you are awful.
Taking a long drink of creamy coffee, she let her thoughts move on. She couldn’t change the past.
Rick. Did she love him? Was that what this was? She hardly knew him, but when he wasn’t there, she was miserable. Everything about him appealed to her. His work, his passion, his humor, his smile. Him.
How was this going to work? She was afraid of him freaking out again about Gabe. And Gabe was important to her. When he came back—she refused to say if—and was ready to resume a platonic friendship, she still wanted him to be part of her life. Would Rick be okay with that? Even if he never found out that they slept together. It’s not like she and Gabe were dating.
Did Rick need to know?
Would she want to know if the situation was reversed?
“Gah! This is ridiculous. I’m being ridiculous, thinking in circles,” she mumbled, scratching Olive behind the ear and brushing some loose grass off her furry head. The dog tilted her head and panted. Rachael knew what the furry duo wanted. She pushed herself up and slipped in ahead of them to get a towel to dry off their paws. Martini sat patiently, waiting for his turn. She loved how good they were. They knew each other and trusted her. They had their routines, and they all played their parts to perfection. Usually. Why couldn’t everything be that simple?
“Who wants a treat?” she asked, and they both pranced happily outside the door.
They entered the quiet kitchen and she saw Dad had picked up and left, too.
“Just us again, Martini and Olive. What shall we do?”
They gobbled up their treats and settled into a sun-warmed patch on the floor, informing her that she was on her own. She grinned at them and went back to her room, picking up her laptop to catch up on a little work before letting Netflix take her away for a while.
26
“What are you going to wear?”
Rachael watched Marie in the salon mirror, her lips pursed as she concentrated. Rachael’s mind was clicking through the options as Marie maneuvered her comb and scissors, parting and flipping up the wet lengths of blonde, tugging this way and that.
“I haven’t decided yet,” Rachael finally replied.
“You like this man? You want to see more of him?”
Rachael pictured Rick as he gently tended to Olive, remembered the possessive feel of his hand on her lower back at lunch, considered how much they had in common and how everything just seemed to click. “Yes.”
Marie paused her work and smiled gamely at Rachael. “Then you go and find yourself a nice little black dress. But you make him work for it, you know what I’m saying? No need to make things too easy for him. You know what they say about cows and milk? It’s true!”
Rachael laughed nervously, knowing it was too late for that, but it was none of Marie’s concern. “I know.”
“Though with your coloring, you really can wear just about anything, bluebird. He’d be a fool to let you go.”
“To let me go again,” she clarified softly.
Marie frowned and resumed trimming. “I don’t know if you ought to be wasting your time with an insecure man. That’s no fit for you or your life.”
Rachael thought about Rick and what happened. “Could you honestly see me choosing an insecure man? I don’t believe he’s insecure in the slightest. I think he’s unaccustomed to the little taste of what passes for Cinci paparazzi. He’s quiet but confident. He takes things at face value.”
“If he takes things at face value, then he should already know you are priceless, honey.” She tapped under Rachael’s chin with her comb. “I don’t know. This man, he may not be deserving of you.”
“I think he is, Marie. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him. He’s the first thing I think of when I wake up, and the reason I can’t sleep at night.” She frowned, wishing she could figure this out.
Marie stopped working and dropped into the chair next to Rachael’s, swiveling her astonished face toward her. “My little birdie, I cannot believe what I am hearing.”
“What?”
She smiled. “Junior is out of luck. Unless my ears deceive me, you, my dear, are in love.” She nodded once, emphatically.
Love? “If this is love, it’s kind of shitty.”
Marie cackled and leaned back, crossing her arms across her chest. “Love in real life is not like the books you read, honey. True, it’s full of unbelievable highs, but the lows can be equally devastating.”
“Why does it have to be so confusing? I don’t get it. Sometimes I think he can’t stand me. But other times . . .” Rachael blushed, recalling their afternoon at his place. “I know he wants to be with me. How do I know if it’s more than physical? If it can last?”
Marie rapped her comb on her knee and leaned forward. “There is no guarantee that anything can last. If you want him and he wants you, you like each other, you respect each other, then you work it out. You make the choice every day to be together. If you stop working, stop choosing to be together, then you move on. But I don’t remember you ever acting this way before. I think this one may be something special. You want to work on it.”
Warming at the memory of his messy hair and lazy smile as he drowsed in bed, Rachael knew Marie was right. She wanted it to work. For better or worse, she was deep into new territory. And it was more than a little terrifying. Nothing like jumping from a desert into an ocean.
“Is it worth it?”
Marie stood and patted her shoulder. “I’ll not lie, honey. Not always. But yes. With the right person, it is worth it.”
Rachael thought about Gabe. He was a good fit, but she didn’t feel the need to be with him like she did with Rick. Rick made her feel more. She wanted to be more, do more, experience more. She wanted to share things with him. She wanted him at her side as she conquered her next mountain, and to cheer him on as he met his goals. Rachael wanted them to
celebrate together. She wanted to fall asleep with him, and wake with him in the morning.
Oh. My. God.
She glanced at her wide eyes in the mirror, looking for a change, a noticeable difference. Something that said: This was a woman in love.
Marie unclipped the last section of wet hair and finished the cut. She glanced up. “How do you want it for tonight, honey? Up?”
Rachael nodded and watched Marie’s fingers weave in and out, drying and styling, and contemplated how on earth she was going to convince Rick that she was worth it for him.
27
It was Friday night and a three-day holiday weekend. Could this be the night that brought them back together?
Rachael slid on the black dress and tugged at the fitted material, making sure it was just right. Her hair looked perfect, a side-swept updo, a sprinkling of long, shiny blonde hair softly framing her face. Carefully curling her lashes and finishing her makeup—she was getting better with the concealer—she stood back and admired the overall look. Very nice. Flattering and revealing without being over the top. As Kim would say, classy with just the right amount of trashy.
Nervously confident, Rachael ran downstairs to let the dogs out before Rick arrived. Her parents had finally left for the weekend after she assured them countless times that she was fine and perfectly capable of being alone. She’d promised to go stay with Carlie and Brent if she started feeling off. That seemed to mollify them.
She padded around the kitchen in her bare feet, her heels ready to step into by the staircase. Smiling at the restocked wine fridge, she snagged a bottle of Carlie’s wine of choice. A good sweet Riesling would hit the spot.
Cracking it open, she poured a generous dose and sat on the patio to enjoy the early evening sunlight and watch the furry duo wrestle and sniff for intruders. July already. It seemed the months slipped by faster every year.
The doorbell echoed through the house, and she danced through the rooms, greeting him at the door. Rick smiled and held out a bouquet of fresh flowers, taking in her bare feet and wine glass. “Am I early?”
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