by Natalie Ann
“Your subconscious telling you that you are making the right decisions in life,” her sister said.
“I think so. Last night he told me to start getting out more. It’s not like he told me to go date someone, but it could mean the same thing, right?”
“Yes,” Zoe said. “We’ve talked about this. You’re too young to not date. You always wanted to have a family and you’ve got one. But a family to you is a woman and a man. Could you honestly see yourself single forever?”
“No,” she admitted. “But that doesn’t mean I’m looking to get involved in a serious relationship right now either.”
“Just have fun,” Zoe said. “Tell me about your date. What did you talk about before he kissed you?”
She didn’t want to tell her sister that she and Ryan talked about Tyler or Ryan’s dating past. Zoe would think they were lame.
“Just things,” she said. “He’s really nice and nothing at all like I thought.”
“He’s the complete opposite of Tyler.”
“He is. I wasn’t sure how I’d be about that. Tyler was so gentle and sweet. But Ryan can be too. I’ve seen it. He just doesn’t show it. And when he kissed me, I didn’t want him to be gentle. Is that bad of me?”
“Oh hell no,” Zoe said. “What you had with Tyler was what you always wanted when you were younger. But you’re a woman now. One with needs. Ryan might be that man to fulfill those needs.”
“I think so, but I told him I wasn’t going to have sex with any man I didn’t have some connection to. I don’t have to love him, but I can’t just jump in bed with him. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. He might not call me again now.”
Zoe laughed. “It might scare off some men, but something tells me he doesn’t scare easily. Did you say this before or after the kiss?”
“Before,” she said.
“Then he’s not going anywhere. Trust me.”
13
Keep Quiet
“How are you holding up?” Ryan asked his sister, Whitney. They were seated at the table in the hotel waiting for Harris and Kaelyn’s second wedding. Harris and Kaelyn were already officially husband and wife, but today they were putting the gown and tux on, stating their vows again, and then having a massive party.
Harris wanted to make sure they were legally married before Scarlet was born. In this day and age it didn’t matter much, but Ryan’s family was a bit old fashioned and appreciated the gesture. It’s not like there was doubt in anyone’s mind how much the two of them loved each other.
Not like the way Ryan had always doubted his ex-brother-in-law, Kevin. But he’d been younger when Whitney had gotten married. Still in high school. Too young for his voice to be heard or taken seriously when he said Kevin was a dick.
“I’m fine. Why would you ask that?” Whitney said.
“Because it’s the first family wedding since yours. They didn’t do anything when Harris and Kaelyn were married six months ago. It was just both parents and their siblings there for that.”
“So?” she said. “It’s just a wedding.”
“It’s not bringing back any bad feelings for you?”
“Why would it?” she asked, narrowing her eyes. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing. I don’t know. I just thought maybe you’d have a bad taste in your mouth.”
“I’m over it,” she said. “I’m not sure why you can’t be. I have a bad taste in my mouth for my ex and the way he treated me and made me feel, but that doesn’t mean I think all marriages are like that. I made a mistake, but we’ve had great examples of long marriages in our family. You just need to move on, Ryan. It happened to me, not you.”
He didn’t feel that way though. He was close to his sister. He hated that she left home and got married so young. And when she was hurting it hurt him. Making him want to hurt Kevin…again.
He’d had words with his ex-brother-in-law many times. He’d been brushed off by the asshole too when it happened. Kevin didn’t brush him off so easily when he put his fist in the lying cheating ass’s face though.
“If you’re over it, why aren’t you dating?”
“I didn’t say I was completely over it. I’m just saying that I don’t think all marriages are horrible like you seem to think. I’m just cautious now.”
“Skittish is more like it,” he said.
“Yeah. But it’s not like you’re burning up the hotlines dating either. Oh wait, you go on dates and you sleep with women. You aren’t the dating type though.”
It was just the two of them next to each other at the table as everyone else was walking around and talking. He would have never brought this up if others were seated nearby, as he didn’t want to get the lecture from his father about being a protective hot head.
Like his father was one to talk. He’d admitted he wanted to get his hands on Kevin too when he heard everything that had been going on that Whitney never told them. He knew damn well Evan and Christian would have done the same things if it’d been their sister.
“I’m dating someone. I think. I’ve been on one date, but I talk to her a few times a week. It’s just hard to find time and today was the wedding.”
“Really?” she asked, leaning back in her seat. “It’s almost like you needed to tell someone this and that is why you started the conversation, but you weren’t going to start it with Mom and Dad around. Why didn’t you bring her today?”
His sister knew him too well. They’d always been close and could go to each other for anything. That is until she stopped coming to him during her marriage. He knew a lot of it was embarrassment over what was going on in her life.
They seemed to be getting back to the way they were again.
“It’s only been one official date.”
“Who is it?” she asked, grinning. “Maybe you will start smiling again.”
He snorted. He never smiled much even when he wasn’t pissed off over things. He just wasn’t that type of person. “It’s Shannon Wilder.”
“Whoa. Seriously.”
“Shh,” he said. “I don’t want anyone to know. It was one date, but I’ve met the kids.”
“Of course you have. You wanted me to give Jeffrey the tools. Oh my God, Shannon said Jeffrey couldn’t stop talking about it when I talked to her last week.”
“I didn’t know you talked to her last week. What did she say?” Why wouldn’t Shannon say anything to him about that?
“Your name didn’t come up. I was calling to check up and see if everything was okay with the house. If she had any questions. I do that with all new builds.”
“I didn’t realize that,” he said.
“That’s because it’s not your job and you don’t play nice like I do. Anyway, she thanked me again for everything and said she’d love to take me to lunch sometime when the kids were back in school and she could sneak out on a break. She never once mentioned your name. I’m kind of bummed over that. I really like her though.”
He was glad to get his sister’s approval even if it wasn’t anything serious. He wasn’t sure where things would go with him and Shannon, but something told him it was going to go further than he’d been before.
“You didn’t call her for a personal reason? I don’t picture her the type to say much of that nature unless asked.”
“So give me the scoop on her,” she said. “What do you know?”
“Not enough to give you any scoop and here comes Mom and Dad. Don’t say anything, please.”
She laughed. “You haven’t said please to me in years. For that alone, I’ll keep quiet.”
“Hi,” Shannon said when she opened the front door for Ryan on Sunday afternoon. “You didn’t have plans today, did you? I know this was last minute.”
He leaned down and gave her a kiss on the lips before two puppies found their way toward them, followed by Jeffrey and Maddie.
“Sorry,” Zoe yelled. “I tried to hold the circus back.”
“Jeffrey is excited that you were coming over.
I’m sorry about that. But he thinks you’re going to build something again. Maddie just likes anyone that comes to the house. The puppies woke up and want to run.”
“Hi, everyone,” Ryan said.
He was leaning down to pet Taffy, but Jeffrey picked up Oreo. “My puppy likes his head rubbed. Taffy likes her belly rubbed. Did you bring more wood?”
He spread the attention around and she found it sweet that Ryan was so good with her kids. “Jeffrey, I said Ryan was coming over to visit and I was cooking dinner for him. That doesn’t mean he’s here to work.”
“Sorry,” Ryan said. “I didn’t bring anything else. If your mom says it’s okay, we can go to my house and I can get a few things. I’ve always got spare supplies. What do you want to make?”
“I can’t ask you to do that,” she said.
“You didn’t. We can walk over if you want. How far can the puppies go? I’d say it’s less than a mile away.”
“Oh, I didn’t realize you were that close to me.” He’d said he was in the new part but at the other end. But she wasn’t even in the furthest end, as houses were being built on multiple streets everywhere.
“Can we, Mommy?” Maddie asked. “I want to go for a walk.”
“Go,” Zoe said. “Take the circus with you. I’m going to go sit on the deck with a margarita and listen to the birds in the backyard.”
“Oh, you’ve got life so hard,” she told her sister. “If you don’t mind, I guess we are taking a little walk.”
She’d been wanting to see his house too and this was a good way to do it without the pressure. The kids and dogs would be a nice buffer.
They’d all put their sneakers on, clipped the leashes to the dogs and got on their way. “It’s a nice day out for a walk,” he said. “Not too hot.”
“No,” she said back. She was holding Taffy’s leash and Jeffrey had Oreo’s, but she wasn’t letting him too far ahead. “How was the wedding yesterday?”
“Nice. Big. There were a lot of people. A few players but not a lot. There wasn’t a game yesterday, but they had one today. Some of his former teammates flew in on a private jet and then flew back after.”
“Wow. That had to be neat. Don’t say the names,” she said, nodding to Jeffrey.
“I won’t. They were just like regular guys though. It wasn’t that late of a night. I was home by ten.”
“I was in bed sleeping,” she said. “I took the kids to the Crossings in the morning for the farmers market. Then we did some school shopping. I was worn out by the time I was done.”
“We start school in two weeks,” Jeffrey said.
“I’m going to school too,” Maddie said. “For three days.”
“Nervous over that?” he asked Shannon.
“No. A little sad. But first grade for Jeffrey. Pre-K for Maddie. It will give Zoe a break, but she’ll be picking them up for me. We’ll share the time bringing them. It will be nice to have the house a little quieter, but I’m sure it will get to me too. I’ve always had Maddie home at least.”
Even if Zoe and Maddie were in a different part of the house, she knew they were there. This house was bigger than the one in Washington and she’d always heard the kids at home before. So much so she had to shut the door to her office.
“Maybe we can get lunch one day if it’s too quiet,” he said.
“I think I’d like that.”
“Here we are,” he said, pulling his phone out when they got to the front door. She assumed he unlocked the door. “Not nearly as big as yours.”
“It’s a good size for one person.”
He’d said it was one floor with bonus space upstairs but from the front you couldn’t tell that.
When they walked in, it was into a small foyer and then it opened up to a living room that stretched back to a kitchen. That seemed to be in the middle of the house.
“Master to the right. Spare rooms and another bathroom to the left. I don’t go to that side of the house much. There’s no reason.”
She followed him to the back and saw the staircase that was tucked aside. She figured it was probably empty up there too.
“This house suits you. It’s darker and masculine.” The kitchen had dark cabinets and counters like he’d said. “You’re pretty neat. I like that.”
“Not as neat as you, but I like things organized. All my stuff is in the garage. What do you want to make, Jeffrey?”
He opened the door to the garage and Jeffrey all but squealed. “Look at all your tools.”
“I’ve got a lot. And not many you can touch either. I think your mom’s face just paled.”
“That obvious, huh?” Thankfully everything was hanging on walls or off to the side out of the way.
“I won’t have him on the saw for another year or so.”
“Don’t you dare,” she said, pinching his arm.
“Can we make another birdhouse?” Jeffrey asked. “Then we can have more than one.”
“I want to paint one,” Maddie said. “If you make it, can I paint it?”
“How about you take the puppies in the backyard with your mom and give me a few minutes to cut the pieces. Then I’ll carry them back and we can put it together at your house. Your mom planned on cooking and I don’t want to have her schedule altered.”
“Mommy likes eating at the same time every day,” Maddie said.
Ryan looked at her and lifted his eyebrows. “I’m a creature of habit. It keeps the kids in a routine too.” She shouldn’t be embarrassed over Maddie’s statement, but she found she was. “All right, kids. In the backyard and give Ryan space.”
Twenty minutes later he had a small box in his arms with everything they needed so they made their way back to her house. “That’s not too heavy, is it?” she asked. She felt bad he was carrying it and didn’t even think about it.
“I’m trying not to be insulted over that statement.”
Her eyes went to his biceps which were flexing and almost making her mouth water. She shouldn’t be looking or having those thoughts with her children present, but she couldn’t help herself either.
“Oh, no insult intended.”
He looked at her face and started to laugh. She knew she’d been caught staring.
14
He Wanted More
“Are you sure you’re okay leaving the kids for an hour to take lunch?” he asked. “We could have taken them too.”
It’d been a few weeks since he’d gone to Shannon’s for dinner on that Sunday. He and Jeffrey made two more birdhouses. One for Jeffrey to paint and one for Maddie. He’d taken the one that was hanging on the iron stand in the back and secured it in a tree. Then the two they’d made that day fit on the stand.
He never thought he was much of a kid person but really enjoyed spending time with Shannon’s children.
Not that he’d seen them again since then. Between his work and Shannon’s schedule, they’d been able to go out two more nights. Just dinner and not much more.
They were doing their fair share of kissing and he finally knew what sexual frustration was all about. But the last thing he was going to do was pressure her.
He liked what they had, but he wanted so much more. And because he’d never felt that way before he wasn’t pushing it either.
“I needed the break,” she said. “Because everything is so new to them here they want to do it all. I’ve got a job to do and though I can be flexible I’m stepping back from my position so that I don’t work so many hours. But I’m not there yet.”
“The kids say you stick to a routine,” he said, grinning at her.
“For them. I’m up and at my computer by six, which is way before anyone is even working in Seattle. I take a break to get the kids ready for school, then I stop at four and get dinner ready and spend time with them. But when they are in bed at eight, I go back to my office and shut the door and do more work. Sometimes I’m on calls. It’s only five there.”
“You’re working more than me. I start around seven and am
done between six and seven now. That’s mainly because I go back to the office and take care of things. I don’t like to do anything at home if I don’t have to.”
“That separation would be nice. I’ve never had it. I’ve always worked for Tyler and John. We were three poor college graduates trying to make it work. Then bam, they had investors and the rest was history. I’ll be happy when I’m bought out but sad at the same time.”
“I know we don’t talk about Tyler much. Do you feel like it’s the last connection to him that you’re losing?”
“It’s funny how you get that. Not many do. They think I should be happy to have all that money. It doesn’t mean anything to me. I’ll always have a place at this job as long as I want it. I love what I do and get to work from home. John is like my best friend the same as Tyler. They were like brothers. It’s a strong bond. I can’t leave him.”
Which meant that this man was always going to bring her back to that life.
And Ryan wondered why he cared. It’s not like it was interfering with what they had. If they even had anything at this point.
That was wrong. They had something. And he wanted more.
“How did he feel about you moving here then?”
“He understood. I talk to him almost every day. I did before. In some ways not much has changed, in other ways everything did. It’s as if we are all that is left of Tyler for each other.”
“Then you must have felt guilty about your decision to move.”
“Yeah. That was the hardest part. But he’s married and will probably start a family soon too. I think we were enabling each other to not be able to move on. As hard as it was for both of us, it wasn’t healthy either. We both acknowledged that. He seems more like the old him when we talk now. We can laugh about things too. It seemed like we couldn’t before.”
“So you’re happy about the move?” he asked, then leaned back when their lunch was delivered.
“I am. It was a huge change and I’m learning about the area...when I get out. The kids help to motivate me to put on more than shorts and a T-shirt daily. When winter comes I’m sure I’ll be in leggings instead.”