by Andi Feron
“Yes, I tried Moxie a few times. I’m okay though.” She wasn’t taking the bait. “Allie, I wanted to say I’m sorry for everything that happened. I can excuse it away as orders or duty, but that doesn’t take away the fact that I lied to you, and let you tell me very personal things without you knowing the real reason I was there. I can’t fix what happened. All I can do is ask your forgiveness, and if you can’t right now I understand.”
I wanted to fight with her not forgive her. I was angry because everything that happened since was her and Lucius’ fault. Everything that hurt from Zalseph’s death was their fault. They were the reason that I felt any of it. My brother had lied to me too, but at least he did it to protect me from everything that was hurting me now.
I pursed my lips. “I’ve been thinking about all of it. I found out you’re a projector. The light show was you wasn’t it? I saw you in the woods that night.”
She nodded. “Lucius asked me to do it, so you would meet him at the astronomy club.”
“What was the point? Why didn’t he just manipulate me to go with him?”
“Lucius loves games. He and your brother have had a feud since they were kids and working on a team together. After all of it went down, I thought about the way Lucius handled your recruitment. I think Lucius wanted to make your brother mad. He knew how protective Talon is toward you. I believe he wanted to make Talon angry by making you his girlfriend. That’s why he took so long recruiting you. He was enjoying getting in an extra burn to Talon.”
I glanced away, forcing myself not to cry like I wanted to. “So, I’m just supposed to forget all of it just like that because you decided to come here and apologize.” A tear slipped out and I wanted to scream at it.
“No, I don’t expect you to forget any of it. All I have are words and time. In time I will show you that while I did what I did because I had to, how I treated you and felt was real. I want us to be sisters or at least friends. I’ve wanted that for a long time. I know it will take a long time to prove myself to you again. You take all the time you need to see you can trust me again. If you don’t ever then I accept those consequences. I really do care about you. I never pretended about that.”
More tears slipped out, and I couldn’t contain them any longer. Seraphine moved forward slightly in her seat as if she wanted to move closer to me, probably hug me. She abandoned whatever thought she was having as she scooted back in her chair.
I wiped my tears. “I really cared about you too, that’s why this hurts so bad. I thought you were my friend, but you were only doing this because as you said you had to. I’m not sure I trust you, and I’m not over what you did. But I’m willing to see how things go.”
“That’s fair. I hope to see you at game night. John mentioned he invited you.”
I shrugged and showed Seraphine out.
*
A few hours later I strolled to the rec center. When John invited me, I tried to ignore his invitation but was met with a compelling longing to see my friends. I spent months worrying about them so now I wanted to be around them despite my lingering disappointment with some of them at the moment.
Whoever designed the base had spent a reasonable amount of time focused on putting all things pertaining to human recreation into a large portion of the base. I thought that the idea was to give an escape from war and make soldiers more productive once the uniform was on.
I rounded the corner to the bowling alley and stopped in my tracks. Talon had his arms locked around Seraphine’s waist. John was taking his turn at bowling, knocking all but one pin down. Deron stood behind him, waiting to take his turn. This was the first time—other than the battle—that I’d seen Talon and Seraphine together since I found out they were married.
Talon released Seraphine so she could take her turn. Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ on a Prayer” blasted on the overhead speakers, making me realize that my brother probably selected the music. His music choices were almost always stuck in the 1980s. Gabriel sat on a bench next to a blonde girl. He said something that I couldn’t quite make out, and she laughed. They looked cute together, and I wondered if a relationship was forming. I sat on the bench next to theirs. I saw Kais from the tier assignments.
He smiled. “Althea, right?”
I nodded and smiled back. “You remembered.”
“Yeah, of course. Couldn’t forget you.”
I smiled again, confused why he would say that.
Talon seemed, simply put, happy. It was a rarity that suited his entire demeanor. I could tell that he and Seraphine were the real deal. I shouldn’t be so angry anymore. Talon deserved more than responsibility and entirely selfless endeavors. He deserved the fire and beauty that was Seraphine. He deserved to sport goofy grins and intense gazes that he pushed her way. At that moment, I accepted that his secret life was what he felt he had to do to keep me safe.
Seraphine had become a good friend, but I let our friendship go when I discovered her deceit. Our conversation from earlier came to mind. She was right at this point all she could do was apologize and prove herself over time. It would take time for me to fully trust her again, but maybe I could work toward giving her a second chance. Almost as though she could delve into my thought process, Seraphine came and sat next to me.
“Peace offering?” She held out a pair of bowling shoes.
I paused for a minute, pondering our friendship. Maybe Seraphine really did care about me on some level. I nodded and accepted the shoes. I was surprised to find them the perfect size. I remembered the dresser and closet in Talon’s guest room were full of shoes and clothes that were also my size. The next few hours were spent in the realm of the ordinary. Eight friends bowling with thoughts of war shelved and replaced with scorecards and cheesy jokes.
After our second game, Talon turned off the main light and random colored lights zoomed around the room. Seraphine removed her bowling shoes and motioned for me to do the same.
I removed them quickly and she grabbed my hand as we both slid down the bowling lanes. She danced freely with me, evaporating all of the seriousness of the last few months. Gabriel and the girl he brought joined us. We slid, laughed, and danced with our socks frictionless against the smooth finish of the bowling lanes.
Unsurprisingly, John remained seated, watching. Becoming a military captain had yet to revert his introverted ways, and I was too annoyed with him to draw him out of his shell. Kais joined us and did some elaborate breakdancing. Deron accompanied him, and they entertained us with their fluid movements. The music slowed, and Kais offered to dance with me.
Seraphine stopped mid-dance, bearing a mischievous grin and directed Talon to the dance floor with her finger. Talon swung Seraphine around and danced in rhythm to the fast-paced music. His playfulness shocked me. Seraphine brought out an untapped portion of my brother. I was now fully content that they had found each other. Whether I was still angry at Seraphine or not I was glad my brother found someone who made him happy.
I was so caught up in their moment that I missed John slipping out. Back before all of this, I would have taken that as my cue to leave and go find him. Instead, I stayed and danced until we all agreed that bed had met the equation.
*
A week after waking up, Jasper asked me to stop by for a final checkup before clearing me for active duty. He said that everything checked out and he would notify command that I was ready whenever. I wasn’t sure at what point they no longer expected me to resist fighting this war, but a line had been drawn, and they must have assumed that I’d recognized my usefulness. The next day our team was assigned to recovering a rare substance on a planet heavily infiltrated by Khalbytians.
I learned more about our team and the skills we possessed. I was the healer, John the empath, Seraphine the projector, Talon the tracker, Gabriel the chameleon, Deron the heightened, and Lila the manipulator. Lila was the blonde that we had bowled with.
There were two additional soldiers on our team who I was told were not able to possess abi
lities. Their names were Colin Gonzales and Morgan Howard, and my guess was that brute force was their usefulness. Colin was Hispanic. His family was from Mexico, but he had grown up in the inner-city of Los Angeles. He wore a slight goatee and mustache and kept his hair short and spiked up.
Morgan spoke with an English accent. His hair was a brownish red color, and he had a deep brown to his eyes. Talon told me later that he and Morgan had been friends for a long time. Morgan was skilled with technology and was probably the best in the galaxy when it came to hacking.
Gabriel boarded the ship last, and Lila looked up from her console to smile and give him a little wave. Gabriel grinned back, and I could see blossoming chemistry. We sat down on a flat part of an otherwise rocky planet. The pointed rocks held a blue-green hue and there was orange foliage mixed in various spots at the bottom. The entire landscape looked like it was out of an over-colored children’s book. Before stepping out, we were briefed. We needed to descend five hundred feet down a steep path. We were to fill six canisters with the rare substance and then return to our ship.
We put on specialized suits that fit close to our bodies, not the bulky stiff getups that I assumed environmental suits would be. We could have been race car drivers, except the helmets seemed even smaller and lighter. We walked into a dark cave using night vision goggles that were built into our helmets. I anchored my rope on a solid rock and began descending into the dark pit below. We propelled deep into the darkness before finally hitting bottom.
I could hear grunting and knew Khalbytians were close. John told Seraphine to project a distraction. I knew she succeeded when we heard laser fire and panicked growls. Once everything fell silent Gabriel turned invisible and scouted ahead, assuring us that the coast was clear. We proceeded with weapons, still ready to make war at a moment’s notice.
“Wait!” Deron whispered, indicating that his senses picked up something that ours didn’t.
We all stopped but it was too late. I heard a loud thud and saw a large Khalbytian land on top of Morgan, ripping at his suit and tearing large shreds from across it. The Khalbytian jumped off and began clawing himself and oozing a ball of tarry substance which I guessed was the equivalent of Khalbytian blood. A mind trick courtesy of John. I ran to Morgan as he writhed in pain. I began sealing the large gashes across his chest and legs.
His bio-suit was exposed. Khalbytians could breathe in the same environment humans could, and I was told their world was safe enough for us to breathe in. This atmosphere, however, contained a gas that they were immune to, but that humans were not. Morgan could survive for a little while, but eventually he would suffocate. Gabriel came up behind me and pulled duct tape out of his pack.
“Fixes everything.” I couldn’t see his face through his helmet, but I was sure that he was getting a kick out of duct tape being Morgan’s salvation.
After taping the suit, he helped Morgan to his feet. We stepped around and over dead Khalbytians as we proceeded to the large cavern that held the substance we needed. The floor sloshed as our boots stepped through the tarry decay of Khalbytian insides. I was suddenly thankful the bio-suits filtered smells as well.
A self-illuminating liquid sat in a pool in the middle of the otherwise dark cavern. We quickly filled the canisters and ascended to the surface. We needed to get out of there before the next shift arrived to relieve the fallen Khalbytians. We returned to base without a hitch. After the teamwork we demonstrated, I could see why they chose all of us for essential missions. Maybe the war wouldn’t be as bad as that first battle.
Over the next couple of weeks, this appeared to be what would happen—simple missions that we were more than capable of completing, and they were nearly boring. I spent most nights at Talon and Seraphine’s. Seraphine and I were slowly making progress toward being friends again. I hadn’t seen much of John as he was busy training and completing other command duties. Things were still patchy with us.
One night after dinner, Talon told me that he and Seraphine were being sent to another base temporarily. Talon wasn’t able to divulge why they had to go to the other base due to the secrecy of their new mission. It would be for a few months, but they would be back to be on our team eventually. A week after they left base, I ran into Kais in the hall. He asked if I wanted to watch the monster movie marathon taking place in one of the theaters.
I liked Kais. His eyes were a lovely shade of green, and he kept his curly hair clean cut against his head. Overall, I found him immensely attractive. After a couple of movies, we decided to call it a night and cracked jokes about how bad the gore and graphics had been. Kais walked me to my quarters.
“I had fun. We should hang out more,” Kais said with the laid back smile I was learning was at the heart of his personality.
I agreed and went to bed. I hoped Kais really did want to hang out more. I only saw John on missions. He appeared to be avoiding me at all costs, and the loneliness growing inside of me was nearly unbearable. A couple days later Kais asked me to dinner.
The conversation flowed perfectly, and he told me that he came from a military family, so it had always been a given he would join the military. He had an advantage, as he’d grown up submerged in the Loctorian war and spent a lot of his childhood in space. He missed his mom and three sisters who were back on Earth. His dad died in a battle when Kais was fifteen.
We found ourselves compatible on many subjects. The biggest thing that we related on was our ability, and we both agreed that the draining was annoying. Kais quickly became the person I wanted to be around most. I didn’t know if part of me was trying to compensate for John not hanging with me, but I knew I liked Kais for himself alone. A couple of months later, he asked me to be his girlfriend, and I accepted.
We had been dating for three months when he put in for some leave for both of us, and we traveled to a moon with a sustainable atmosphere. There were moths with wing patterns that glowed green and yellow. They filled the skies and danced for us as Kais pulled me close to him. He kissed me, and I kissed him back. I leaned my head on his shoulder as we watched the moths flutter across the sky.
“You know, you’re still the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen,” Kais said.
“Still? I’m glad I’ve stayed just as beautiful the last few months.” I smiled, almost laughing.
“No, I mean since we were twelve. In your tree house. Got my first kiss and black eye that day. Completely worth it.”
I picked my head up. “That was you?”
“Yep, you think John would punch me again if he were here now?” A sheepish grin formed on his face.
I laughed. “Probably.”
Kais reached down and kissed me again. “Totally worth it,” he added.
When I was twelve Talon had brought his boss’ son over to our house for the afternoon. We played in the tree house with John and the boy had unexpectedly kissed me. It had never crossed my mind that the boy in the tree house had been Kais. John had been so furious at Kais’ audacity that he had punched Kais in the eye.
We spent the time getting to know each other on a deeper level, and I was beginning to fall hard for him. One morning when we woke up, Kais said that there was something he wanted to show me. We drove a rover about twenty miles and came to an abandoned Loctorian carnival. We rode a lift about thirty stories into the air. At the top was a slide system. There were gaps between translucent yellow slabs of the slide.
“You have to let go of all inhibition, put your arms by your side and allow the slide to drop you to the bottom,” Kais said.
“What about the gaps?”
“Back when this was an amusement park, there was a force field at the bottom to catch you if you missed a slab. That broke a long time ago. If you follow the instructions, you’ll hit at the right speed to fly over them.”
“And if you don’t?”
He raised his eyebrows and grinned. “Then be glad you’re a high-level healer.” With that, he flew down the slide. I let go of any fear and proceeded after him
. Terror reached me but I pushed it away, letting go of my natural survival instincts. I was free. When I reached the bottom, Kais swooped me up and kissed me. I’d never felt so liberated in my life. We laid on the end of the slide, and I felt his heartbeat. I was smitten.
When we returned to the base, I decided that I really needed to tell Talon that Kais and I were together rather than letting him find out as Kais and I walked the halls hand in hand. However, Talon and Seraphine were still away on the other base, and I wanted to tell them in person. I was excited that they would be back soon as I missed them a great deal.
I would invite them to dinner the night they got back, then Kais and I could tell them together. Kais dropped me off at my quarters and gave me a long kiss. We both needed to check our mission logs. An hour later there was a beep at my door. I opened it and only found flowers.
I read the note that Kais left with the flowers. “This war has taken a large part of my soul and made it dark, but you brought enough light to make me realize there is duty, and there is the need to live. With you, I can live. -Kais.”
My heart fluttered, and I felt a bit silly. I blushed despite no one being present. I took the flowers and put them on my table. The doorbell rang again, and this time Kais stood there.
I pulled him inside. “Why didn’t you bring the flowers in yourself?”
“I needed to leave you time to contemplate what I wrote on the card. Even though we can heal, there is so much of a blood bath flooded around us constantly. It would be easy to slip into an all-consuming darkness. After my dad died, I slipped into a depression. It would be easy to go there again. In fact, before I saw you again at tier level assignments, I was close to slipping back down. Then I saw the girl who never left my mind for the last six years, and I knew I had something to look forward to—seeing you again. You made these months bearable. You’ve made them good.”
I looked into Kais’ eyes, and the way he looked at me made me believe every word he spoke to me. We kissed, and I felt hopeful for the future again.