by Andi Feron
Gabriel, Morgan, and Deron all said the last thing they remembered was a sting to the neck before waking up to us saving them. They were almost entirely back to themselves, but John was in bad shape. The thought of not being able to heal him and him slipping away terrified me. I’d missed him so much the last few months.
Many emotions were making their way around my mind, and I was confused as to what I was feeling. We hurried back to base and made it within the hour. The trip back was agonizing. I sat next to John’s bed and watched the monitors blink and change slightly. I felt him slowly grab my hand, but his eyes remained closed. The shuttle faded and we were back at home in Maine at our treehouse. I was startled when I heard John speak.
“We’re not really back. I brought you here because I’m having trouble talking in the real world.”
“We’re in your mind?” I asked.
“Sort of in both our minds. I’ve learned how to merge my mind with others’. I can feel your fear. I don’t want you to worry about me. I’ll be fine.”
“Something’s wrong. I can’t heal you, and you’re super sick.”
“Jasper will figure it out when we get to base. I have to be fine. You owe me a bowling date. Flaking out on the last one and all.” He smiled.
“You stay on this side of the bright light, and I’ll give you a week’s worth of bowling dates.”
“Deal.” That was the last thing John said before the treehouse faded back into the ship.
I continued holding his hand. I must have dozed, and when I woke up, my head was leaned next to John’s shoulder. Talon shook me awake.
“Sorry to wake you, sis. We’re docked.”
Jasper and a couple nurses were waiting for us. Medics placed John on a stretcher and zoomed him to sickbay. A nurse directed me to a waiting room. After a short time, Jasper came out to talk to me.
“I believe you got to John in time. He’s doing worse than the others because I believe the Torgitex began the digestive process with him. The first real step is to inject a slow-acting poison into the bloodstream. The Loctorians have an antidote, but it’s a few hours out.”
“What good is being a healer if I can’t fix things like this? I fixed a poisoned cat but can’t do anything about this one.”
“Althea, what you can fix surpasses any expectation. Illness and poison are different matters than sudden cellular damage. This type of poison is much more complex than the poison given to the cats for healer tiering. Gabriel, Morgan, and Deron check out perfect thanks to you healing their wounds. If you hadn’t done that I’m sure I would have four dead patients right now.”
I was still frustrated. If John died, I wasn’t sure I could get past it. I was feeling things I didn’t know how to deal with. John had listed me as his proxy, which meant that he wanted me to make any medical decisions for him in the event that he couldn’t. Jasper let me into John’s room, and I sat beside him in a large recliner. There was a little knock, and I said it was okay to enter.
Gabriel walked in. “I wanted to say thank you for the healing and all. How’s John holding up?”
“Not so good but there is a cure coming, so he only has to pull through until then.”
“You alright?”
“Yes.” My tearful stutter made me realize that Gabriel would be able to see right through my lie. In truth, I was the worst I’d ever been.
“You love him, don’t you?”
“Of course. He’s my best friend. I’ve always loved him.”
“No, I mean you love him.” His emphasis made me realize that he meant more than familial love. I glanced at John and then back at Gabriel, unsure of what to say. Gabriel spoke again, “He loves you too, you know. More than just a best friend. Has forever.”
“What? You mean… No. Are you sure?” I stammered.
Gabriel smiled at my lack of composure. “Yeah, definitely. Get some rest, Althea. John will be fine. He’s too tough to be taken out by botanical digestive poison.”
I gave a slight smile at his description. After he left, I thought about this revelation. It couldn’t be true. John and I were friends. I thought back to how he acted when I started dating Lucius. He acted pretty jealous, and I shrugged it off as him missing our friendship. He was always resistant to me setting him up. This entire time, was it something other than what I perceived as shyness? He loved me? Really loved me?
I grew tired again and found it easier to doze in the recliner. I woke up to Jasper telling me that the antidote arrived. A nurse carried in the bag, and she attached it to his IV. Jasper told me to get some more sleep because it would take a bit to cycle through his system. We should know in a few hours if he would fully recover from the toxins.
I dreamt of the Torgitex lair, and my heart pounded as I saw the Torgitex throw John across the cavern and his body hit hard against the wall. He was dead. I screamed and ran to him but was pulled back, suspended in place by the Torgitex. A hand grabbed mine, and I snapped awake.
“Allie, everything okay?” This time I wasn’t in the limbo between our minds. I was in John’s room, and he was asking me with his voice.
“Yes, now that you’re awake, things are good.”
He pushed my hair gently from my face. “I think you were having a nightmare. I could feel your fear.”
“How am I going to hide my feelings from you now, Trammel?”
“You’re not. Now you will have to confront them.”
“That’s not fun. But I’m glad you’re awake.”
“Of course I am. You owe me a week of bowling. You know how I love bowling.”
I gave him a little smirk and shook my head. “I’m getting Jasper to check you out.” I stood up.
“I’m good. I could go bowling right now.”
“Let’s let Jasper determine that.” I called Jasper to the room.
Jasper wanted to keep John overnight but thought he was on the mend. Jasper ordered me to my quarters to rest. He said that he didn’t like how drained I looked. He mentioned it was from me healing, but I knew it was from almost losing John.
Jasper promised to call me if anything changed. He gave me sleeping pills and told me to take them once I got to bed. I reluctantly complied. I was knocked out pretty solid by the time I heard my door buzz. The clock revealed that I had slept all night and through the morning. I made my way to the door and was shocked to see John standing there.
He smiled. “Jasper set me free. Says I’m good as new. Want to walk me to lunch?”
I hesitated to try to settle my emotions at seeing him.
“Why are you nervous? It’s just coffee, right?” he asked.
I looked at him in surprise and smiled back. “Yeah, definitely. Let me get dressed. I’ll meet you in the mess hall in about 30 minutes.”
“Counting on it.”
I hurried and got dressed before quickly brushing my hair and even putting a little makeup on. I wore the long-sleeved pink top that I had found in one of the base stores. I liked the way it swirled different colors of pink. I finished the outfit with some jeans and my black flats. I wasn’t sure why I was putting in so much effort. I was just going to eat lunch with John, not go out on a fancy date. I thought back to my conversation with Gabriel.
I wondered if it was true that John loved me differently than I thought he did. Gabriel spent a lot of time with John, and if anyone would know, it would probably be him. I almost lost John; when you mixed that with not seeing him for months and our recent distance, I fathomed it could be my emotions were simply running high. One thing was for sure—I needed to keep my emotions in check or John would sense something I didn’t want him to. He would have the whole thing sorted before I could breathe.
I made my way to the mess hall. Before entering, I took a deep breath and put my emotions in check. John sat at a far table, reading from a tablet. I was overwhelmed with how happy I was to see him drink coffee. With that thought, he looked up, and I wondered how much of his awareness for my presence was from the feelings I was emit
ting. I was unsure of how easily he could read me. He smiled and I made my way to his table. We ordered food.
He leaned forward. “I’ve missed you.”
“Me too. I’m glad you’re up and around. You feel okay again?”
“Yeah, back to myself. Jasper wants me to take a couple weeks off, and at first I thought I would protest, but I thought it would give us plenty of time to catch up and do that bowling week.”
“You’re not going to let that go, are you?”
“Of course not. You made a promise.”
“Under duress,” I said with a little smile.
“Gotta get you out of your quarters somehow.” As he spoke, I realized it was almost comical that things had flipped in a way that he was trying to pull me out of seclusion.
“We were pretty out of our quarters on that mission.”
“But that was all business.” Now he was smiling, and we appeared to be flirting back and forth.
Our food arrived, and I was glad we could start eating before he said something about pleasure. Later, I obliged his bowling urges. The bowling alley was empty. Most people were busy on missions and those that weren’t were assigned base duties. My bowling game was terrible. I never played much on team nights, and John had been getting lots of practice lately. I looked like a big klutz next to his perfectly aligned rolls.
“You have to hold the ball a little differently.” He came behind me and adjusted my arms and stance.
I felt my heart beat a little faster and forced myself to regain control. I wondered if John felt my nervousness. That was quickly answered.
“Relax, it’s just a game.” He shot me another smile.
At least he thought my feelings stemmed from my lack of bowling aptitude. We finished the game and John was easily the winner.
“See, this is why I maintained an avoidance to bowling. I’m no good at it.”
“It’s about the fun, not the skill. Hey, I want to show you something,” John waved me to the exit of the bowling alley.
We replaced the borrowed bowling shoes with our normal ones, and I followed him out of the rec center. He shot straight for the elevator, and we got off on level thirty-three.
“Gabriel and I went exploring one day and found something I thought you would like,” he said.
The elevator opened up to an extensive library, and books rose far beyond my sight. I had never seen a library so elaborately put together. Hundreds of bookshelves were intricately carved with precise designs. The marble floor on a space base seemed over the top. Someone valued books far more than practicality.
“The books aren’t the only amazing part.” John walked behind one of the shelves, and the ceiling divided similar to the astronomy club back on our college campus. Stars lit up the library more. You could see Saturn toward the top of the dome; it resembled the size of the moon from Earth. The rings looked magnificent, even at that distance. In the center of the room were some recliners. I followed John over, and we sat down. We laid back in the recliners and watched stars zoom by. We contently sat there for an unspecified amount of time. John grabbed my hand, but neither of us spoke. I felt content enjoying the moment and not overanalyzing it.
“This is so much better than the mail order telescope I gave you when we were ten,” I said.
“I loved that telescope. Made the yearly meteor showers pretty decent.”
“I guess it was alright. But this is beyond anything I’ve ever imagined.”
He ran his thumb over the top of my hand. “Yeah, it’s pretty great.”
We sat there, soaking in the vastness of the universe that was now at our fingertips. We eventually got up, and John walked me home.
“Bowling tomorrow?”
I sighed. “I know you expect a week, but I think the calamity of my skill should give me an automatic out.”
“How about a movie night then?”
“Sure, sounds good.”
John paused a little longer than I thought he would. With a burst of bravery and neglectful thought, I reached up and kissed him. Our lips pressed together firmly, and we seemed to be lost in an explosive connection. My breathing sped up, and I had the split second choice to pull him inside or release his lips. A sudden surge of anxiety caused me to take the second option.
“Althea, I’m sorry. I think it was an in the moment thing.” He was attempting to explain the kiss that I initiated.
I nodded, and a slight smile curled on my lips. “See you tomorrow, Trammel.”
I slipped behind my door and pressed my back against it. What were we doing? I climbed into bed, but sleep lost its way to my consciousness. The wobble on the cliff that held John over the edge of death awakened something in me that I long refused to accept. I was terrified I would lose my best friend, and our interaction would once again be demoted to awkward comrades. To the same extent, I couldn’t shake the deep-seated desire to pull him into my bed and let go of the inhibitions of what ifs.
The next week we took things slowly and enjoyed each other’s company very similarly to old times. Years ago I would snuggle up to John as we watched a movie and I’d never thought twice about it. Now I wondered how much John had thought about it. We sat on the couch in my quarters. We laid sideways on the sofa and I laid directly in front of John, and he wrapped his arms around me.
We finished the movie and he kissed the back of my head as he breathed in the smell of my hair. We let the credits roll, and we both drifted comfortably to sleep. I woke up with John still holding me. I slipped out of his arms and made pancakes and eggs. When he woke up, we ate breakfast.
“You know reality is coming. Jasper has released me to work starting next Tuesday. Only about a week,” John spoke between bites.
“Think we’ll have a mission shortly after?”
“I’m sure something is already in the works.”
I picked at my pancakes and took a deep breath. “John, what’s going on with us? I mean, what are we? I know snuggling up to a movie was our Friday night tradition before college but last night seemed like something more. And we’ve kissed. What does it all mean?”
“I’m not completely sure. I know what I would like us to be. I’ve known for a really long time.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I was scared we would lose what we did have. We’ve always been good together, and I was afraid if I told you I wanted more I would lose you completely. I know all we’ve gone through has changed both of us. When I almost died, it showed me I’ve wasted too much time. These last few months without you haven’t been good, and if you’re willing, I’d like to see if we can become more. But if you want to stay only my best friend, I’ll take it.”
I smiled. “I think I’d like to see what we can become too. But I know for sure if it doesn’t work out to be more, I don’t want to lose my best friend again.”
“Me either.”
We agreed to take things slow and test the waters. We went on normal dates of dinner and movies. We occasionally kissed and held hands. Our relationship was new and old, the same and different and more than anything being with John was home. He had always been my home, but now I was allowing us to grow into something I wished I had tried for years ago.
The war—the annoying, excessive pounding in the back of my mind. We were back to doing missions shortly after our dinner conversation and within a month had ten under our belts, along with a couple of battles.
I was getting better at healing, and I was practicing with the heat my ability generated. I could melt things and was told by Jasper it could be used to destroy Khalbytians. I tried it with objects for a long time. As I grew better at controlling the heat, I could control the speed I melted an object, or I could stop the melting process at any point.
I avoided using it on another living thing until one battle I had no choice but to put what I had been practicing to use. A Khalbytian jumped at me and clawed my chest apart. I touched his arm and heat flowed through my arm and into the Khalbytian. He me
lted into a tarry mess at my feet.
I found it immensely appalling. I had never killed anything before, and I struggled to cope with my actions. I pushed the fact that I killed another creature out of my thoughts, unable to ponder on it further. I would rather restore life than take it, but in war, you sometimes don’t have a choice.
John and I tried to find time for each other, but they were slamming our schedule with mission after mission. We had been officially together for four months when we were finally given two weeks’ leave. This was our first time off since John had recovered from his plant ordeal.
With time to breathe from the carnage that had become our daily lives, John and I turned our eyes back to each other. We decided another movie night was in order and took our usual positions on the couch. I fell asleep halfway through the movie and woke up to John, carrying me to my bed. He tucked me in, but as he turned to go, I grabbed his hand. I sat up a little and pulled him to me, kissing him deeply.
I scooted over in the bed, and he climbed under the covers as we kissed. I removed his shirt and he his pants. Our moves were hurried as we fumbled to shed our clothes off. We kissed, barely stopping to breathe. I briefly wondered what was happening. We were about to go to a place that we most likely could never return to simple friendship.
His lips were electrifying. I’d never experienced such a melding of emotions and assumed that it was the effect of his empathic ability. I could feel his love for me, and it was far beyond what I had calculated it to be. We were completely intertwined, and with an intense igniting, we were one soul, mind, and body. He pulled me tightly against him, and sleep took us both.
From there on out there was no question about what we were. My worries that things would now be awkward were unfounded. My soulmate was someone I’d overlooked for years. It took John almost being gone forever for me to awaken to that fact. On the last night before our leave was over, we cooked dinner and went to bed.
John softly kissed my temple. “Marry me, Althea Cooper.”
I looked at him a bit stunned. “We’ve been dating maybe four months.”
“Come on, Allie. We’ve been together forever.”