by Andi Feron
“I was nervous my first battle, too. But when it finally occurred, instinct took over and my training kicked in.”
We left the observatory and I gave Callia a tour of my favorite places around the base. We finished our tour at the shopping center on level one-eleven. She and I tried on several different hats, and I taught her what a selfie was as we snapped several. I bought her the sunhat that she loved, and we finished at the chocolate store. I purchased a variety of chocolates, and we sat down at one of the little tables outside of the shop.
“This is the most wonderous thing I have ever tasted!” Callia gushed, downing four pieces in a row.
It was getting late so I walked Callia back to her temporary quarters. On the way, she saw the poster for a monster movie that was playing in the theater.
“That is a scary looking monster. Do you fight him as well?”
“No, he’s made up. Entertainment. Like the small screen shows in your quarters, only they show it on a large screen. You want to meet me tomorrow and watch it?”
“Yes, I would like that very much, Morgan Howard.”
I found myself so anxious to meet Callia and see the movie with her that I barely slept. She met me for the morning show. The movie picked up pace, and Callia buried her face in my shoulder. She spent most of the rest of the movie in the same state. I didn’t mind. I was excited that we would have a month to share together.
We spent our time doing little things here and there. We would find each other whenever we could slip away from our duties and responsibilities. I wasn’t used to focusing on one woman for more than a couple days, but I couldn’t rid Callia from my thoughts at any point. Two weeks into Callia’s time on base, we were watching a show in my quarters. A woman began to cry.
“Morgan Howard, why is her face wet?” Callia asked me as the woman on screen cried profusely.
“She’s crying. Those are tears. Haven’t you ever cried?”
“No, Anierisians do not have water on their faces. This seems strange.”
“It’s the way humans express sadness. Sometimes when we are happy, but mostly when we are sad.”
“Humans are confusing.”
I agreed with her on that note. We continued watching as the characters kissed on the screen.
“I would very much like to do that, Morgan Howard,” she said.
Callia still called me by my first and last name. I tried to explain how humans only went by their first names most of the time, but the concept confused her, so I gave up and stopped correcting her.
“Do what?” I asked.
“Put my face to yours.”
“Oh, kiss?”
“Yes, I want to kiss you.”
I stared into her eyes, and I was trapped. Our lips met, and after that night, our bond grew intimate. When I was with her, I felt a sweetness in my chest, and it felt like the place I should always be.
The month passed by and I knew I would have to give her up even though every part of me wanted to convince her to steal a shuttle with me and abandon the war for a life together, which in part I knew was ridiculous for knowing each other only a month. The short timespan was why I didn’t even try to keep her with me.
I walked Callia to the docking bay as the day had arrived for her to return home. We were cursed by the distance of two vastly different worlds. Neither of us could bring ourselves to accomplish the irresponsibility of bridging the gap between our separation. I held her hand tightly, and I gazed at the sadness in her eyes that matched mine. I kissed her intently.
“I love you, Callia.” The first time I told her would most likely be the last.
“I love you, Morgan Howard.” Her wings drooped as she vanished behind the shuttle door. I watched as the ship she boarded zoomed off and felt my heart drop a good portion down my chest.
*
I kept up with missions and battles. When we got back, I would find myself turning down invitations to socialize. Even women no longer held the same appeal that they had only a month prior. I was lovesick, and I couldn’t afford myself the cure.
Out of desperate loneliness, I went to the bar with Deron. I wanted to become distracted with something other than the Anierisian I couldn’t have. I thought that perhaps returning to my old routine of finding a woman to fill the void would diminish the sadness held inside of me consistently.
“You know, the Fernandez sisters are looking pretty sexy tonight. I’ll take the younger one?” Deron seemed to be trying to get me out of the funk I was slouched within.
“Nah, not really my type.”
“Every woman is your type.”
“Not anymore.”
“Callia got you pretty good, man, didn’t she?”
I sighed. “I feel like I’m in love with her.”
“You were with her for a month. I think maybe she really is a siren and has you in a trance. Then again, a month is a long commitment for you.”
I took a sip of my beer. “I think maybe I’ve been missing the point this entire time. All my relationships have been meaningless flings where the women barely respect me and vice versa. With Callia it was something more. I enjoyed time with her, more than the physical. I enjoyed talking to her and just having her around. I wish I could have seen where we would have ended up. I’m tired of being shallow.”
Deron nodded. “Yeah, I get it. Sometimes I wish I had a real relationship, too, rather than women being merely a distraction from the war.”
“I think I’m at the point where I need to grow up. If nothing else, this entire thing with Callia has shown me that.”
I downed a couple more beers and hopped off the bar stool. Deron protested when I told him I would rather call it a night. On my way back to my quarters, my com device lit up, and I saw it was Allie calling me.
“Hey, Al. What’s up?” I answered.
“As you might know, I’ve become good friends with Nia the Anierisian. I’ve been needing to visit her as I promised I would, but John seems to think navigating the galaxy alone could have undesirable results. He’s asked me to have someone come with me. I looked at your schedule, and it seems you are free. If you wouldn’t mind escorting me to the Anierisians’ new homeworld, I would be extremely appreciative.”
An excuse to see Callia was something I couldn’t pass on. I knew it might set back how I was feeling when I had to leave her again, but I thought it was worth the risk. I accepted, and Allie thanked me. She told me we would be leaving in the morning. I woke up a couple hours early, anxious to get to the Anierisian homeworld. I watched a movie to try and pass the time, then grabbed a quick breakfast.
I pulled the shuttle and loaded my stuff as I waited for Allie to arrive. I did all the pre-checks, and about five minutes after they were complete Allie walked up. We would be gone for a week, and I was happy that I would have more than a couple days with her. When we arrived, both Nia and Callia were waiting for us. Allie told me to go and enjoy the sights, and she would contact me if she needed anything.
Callia showed me around the new city they had constructed amazingly quick. The buildings were white and pink. Large archways gave a view of a forest of interlocking blue and green trees with a red, rocky mountain behind them. The temperature was perfect, and my jeans and grey shirt sufficed for comfort. Over the next week, Callia and I returned to our closeness as though we had never parted.
The day before we were set to leave, Callia and I took a hike to a giant chasm that rivaled the Grand Canyon for magnificence. Most of the dirt on the portion of the planet we were on was a vibrant red color, but the chasm was a dark blue that spiraled randomly with a shade of light green. We found a path that descended to the chasm floor and spent a while making it to the bottom. We were enjoying a peaceful morning of exploring several kilometers of the canyon. The dirt began to change into yellow sand, and as we walked, Callia told me about her parents, who had been killed by Khalbytians.
“Their deaths are what made our people most afraid. Before Khalbytians arrived, we loved
anyone who would visit us. Khalbytians arrived, and everything changed. My mother and father greeted them as the leaders of our people. We did not know someone might have malicious motivations. My parents were immediately struck down without warning. Our people did not know how to fight. We had our natural fog, and using it was all that saved us.”
“I’m sorry that happened to your parents. That’s why I fight the Khalbytians. If they gain control of the galaxy, many more species will share your story, if not be completely annihilated.”
“You are brave, Morgan Howard. You are a great human.”
“I think I’m just doing what most other humans would do given the choice.”
“No, I think not most would be as brave.” She smiled at me.
We walked a little farther, and the ground began to deteriorate in front of us. A sinkhole opened up and we plummeted into a cavern. I could see the opening and figured Callia could fly to get help.
I turned to locate her and saw her motionless in the corner. I ran to her and she was unconscious. When the usual spots on her neck and wrist failed to produce a pulse, I felt panicked. I hoped it was only that I didn’t know how to check a pulse on an Anierisian. A large boulder pinned one of her wings. The concave wound on her head indicated the boulder had hit that as well.
After some searching, I located my pack and prayed my com device was usable. I felt relieved when it turned on, and I called Allie; I sent her our signal. I ran to sit next to Callia and held her hand.
“Hold on, Callia. Help is coming.”
I heard Allie’s voice after twenty minutes, “Callia! Morgan!”
“We’re here!” I yelled up to her.
Allie and Callia’s sisters all peered down at us, and I heard her sisters gasp. They swooped down, and Allie scaled down the side using a rope.
“Callia! She is not alive!” Maziellia cried.
“It’s okay, I can help her,” Allie said.
“How? I thought you could only fix injuries. How can you make the dead live again?”
“I can restore life as well as fix injuries. First, we need to get this rock off her wings.”
The six of us pushed the boulder and freed Callia’s wing. Allie began healing her and Callia sat up. Her sisters rushed around her in relief. Allie turned her attention to me. I hadn’t noticed the large gash on my arm, and as the adrenaline cooled off, my ribs began to sear in pain.
She healed all of the injuries I hadn’t noticed out of my concern for Callia. The sisters flew out of the opening and Allie and I scaled back up to the top. I rode in the transport Allie had brought, and the sisters flew back. I went to find Callia to make sure she was okay but was intercepted by Maziellia instead.
“I want you to tell Callia you do not love her and cannot be with her.” I was taken aback by the ambush and wasn’t sure how to approach this. Maziellia continued, “She cannot be with you. Your relationship will never work, and you will hurt her in the end. I have betrothed her to an Anierisian male. She has told me she will not marry him because she loves you and she wants to leave with you. You will ruin her life, as you almost did. If Althea Cooper were not sent, we would have had to put her with our parents in the enclosure.”
“I love Callia, too. I would take care of her and give her a good life.”
“Like you took care of her on your walk today. What if there had been no Althea Cooper? You must leave her be. Our people have laws and customs you cannot possibly understand. You will be a detriment to her. If you love her, you will leave her be and make her think it is your idea.”
Part of me knew Maziellia was right. It would be selfish to take Callia away from her people. It would make more sense for her to stay here and marry one of her own kind. She would eventually get over me. I told Maziellia I would break things off with Callia, but I wouldn’t tell her I didn’t love her. I needed her to know that I did.
Maziellia let me go so I could find Callia and tell her. I went to Callia’s room and knocked. When she saw it was me, she jumped at me and kissed me. She pulled me into her room, shutting the door and locking it. I started to try and tell her, but she shushed me and kept kissing me. We spent the night together, cherishing the final moments we had to be what we wanted to be. When morning came, we were wrapped in each other’s arms, and I woke up to Callia’s kiss.
I was brought back to the unpleasant task set before me when Callia said, “Morgan Howard, I want to go back with you. I want to leave my world behind and instead belong to yours.”
I wanted to agree and pull her entirely into everything that was part of me, but I couldn’t take her from her family. Staying with her when the war was still volatile wasn’t an option.
“Callia, I love you. I want you to know that, but we can’t be together. We both have to move on,” I said.
“No, if you love me, and I love you, we can be.”
“No, Callia. It’s not that easy. We have to move on without each other.”
“You don’t want to be with me?” Her eyes widened, and her lip quivered.
We were laying facing each other, and I pulled her close to me. “I do. But I can’t. We have to go our own ways.”
“I wish I could feel water from my eyes so I could show my sadness in a manner you understand.”
“I do understand. I feel all of it too, but this is for the best.”
“Please. I do not want to be parted from you,” she whispered into my chest.
I kissed the top of her head and drew her even closer. “Neither do I.” I pushed my lips to hers. “But we have to be. There is no other choice but to live our lives without each other.”
We laid there, unwilling to move for a couple of hours. When all the time we could possibly have was used up, I kissed her gently, before getting up. She walked me to my shuttle, and I kissed her for the last time, then climbed in to leave. I turned to look at her one final time. I felt I did the right thing, but I would miss her. She deserved a life I couldn’t give her with her family.
The thought that I was doing what was best for her gave me enough peace to move forward. After all, that was one of love’s greatest attributes, the ability to push away the thing you wanted most so the person you loved would have what they needed. As we exited the shuttle back on Saturn base, I called to Allie.
“Hey, Al. Thank you.”
“For what?”
I smiled at her and she smiled back. I knew the entire trip had been for me. I went back to my quarters to unpack. I would always love Callia, and that was why I had to leave her. My com device lit up, and Deron asked me if I was up for game night and I realized that I was. I knew Callia would now live a good life with her own people, and that was enough for me to bear her absence.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Seraphine-November 3, 2014
I tied my boots to complete my uniform and walked out to the kitchen where Talon was compiling breakfast. He always sent me off with elaborate breakfasts when I was going on missions away from him. We would be apart for a week this time, and Colin and Lila would be going with me. The mission was not complicated, and we were handing out gifts to an emperor of a planet that John had recently secured a Loctorian alliance with.
This was a simple formality, one John couldn’t complete himself due to planning for a separate treaty negotiation. Talon was staying behind to discuss battle strategies, and Jasper needed Allie’s help in sickbay due to a planetary disaster he was expecting mass casualties for. Gabriel, Morgan, and Deron all had various other assignments that left Colin, Lila, and me as the only team members available. They could have used other personnel, but Parks wanted to keep the assignment within our team.
Talon set the table. “Everything is about ready.”
He gave me the pancakes first, then a separate plate of bacon and eggs. He gave me the orange juice that he had squeezed for me. This was his way of telling me to come back safe, as that was what it was now a symbol for. I’d almost died of a brain parasite one time, and when I recovered, he squee
zed me orange juice for the morning of my first return mission.
When I asked him about it, he said he wanted to make sure I had Vitamin C so I wouldn’t bring a deadly visitor back with me. I scoffed at the weakness Vitamin C would hold against a brain parasite. Since then it was sort of an inside joke between us and his way of acknowledging that he wanted his wife back each time he lent me to the war.
“A week seems a long time to be gone to present some presents. I wish there weren’t so many formalities with these aliens,” I vented.
“Yeah, John and I dealt with the same frustrations during alliance negotiations. Two weeks we were forced to waste, even though the deal was already pretty much made. We had to make sure we followed every custom correctly. There were two whole days of sitting, silently reflecting on what we accomplished. Hopefully, the fuel product they have will be worth the effort.”
“I hope it’s worth us being away from each other.”
“Nothing is worth that.”
His words made me smile, and I already missed him. After breakfast, he walked me to the docking bay and sent me off with a quick kiss. The planet was three hours away in hyperspace. I pulled out a deck of cards, and the three of us began playing poker. I stared at Colin, trying to determine if he was bluffing when a shuttle alarm shrieked.
Colin jumped up to check it out. “Something is wrong with navigation. We’re being pulled out of hyperspace. Still an hour from our destination. To get there or return home would take weeks without hyperspace, and folding isn’t possible with this shuttle model. We’re going to have to ask for a tow.” As we were jerked out of hyperspace, another alarm sounded. “Not good. We’re about to overheat. We need to set down.”
I jumped up to find the closest planet to land on. “Can we limp a bit? The fourth planet in this solar system is safe. If not the third is closer, but we would have to stay in the shuttle or wear bio-suits.”
Multiple alarms were sounding now.
“Our distress signal isn’t going through,” Lila cried.