Joslyn laughs at my overprotectiveness, but it trails away naturally until there’s nothing but silence for a moment. I think I could probably stand out here with her all night and just be quiet with her.
“I can’t believe how much I’ve missed this place,” she murmurs and I lean to one elbow to turn halfway toward her. She gives me a slight smile then looks back down to the town. “You know... if I never make it big, I do believe I could come back here and be very happy living as a normal, small town girl.”
“What would you do?” I ask her curiously. We never talked about dreams she might have outside of singing.
“College for sure,” she says as she tilts her head my way. “But what I’d study, no clue. I was never all that interested in school when I was in it. Always wanted to just be off singing.”
“It’s your passion,” I remind her, something she knows deep down inside. “I don’t think anything else will fulfill you. Damn good thing you’re superb at it, because I think you’re not going to have any problem becoming a star one day.”
She blinks at me in surprise. “You really think so?”
“I do,” I tell her confidently, at the same time hating it will inevitably take her away from Vegas and me.
“I wish I had that same confidence in myself that you have for me,” she says wistfully as her gaze darts off to the side.
I wait for her to look at me again. When she does, I tell her, “I’ll make sure to remind you several times a day until you know it’s true.”
I know the words are wrong the minute they leave my mouth. Her brow wrinkles and her eyes fill with emotion. “You really do believe in me, don’t you?”
Walk away, McGrath, I tell myself. Walk the fuck away.
I take a step closer to her. “Yeah... I do.”
Is it my imagination, or does she move closer to me?
I can’t really figure it out, because my gaze is focused so intently on her face that everything else seems hazy.
“Do me a favor, Kynan,” she whispers, and yes... I’ll do anything she asks.
“What?”
“Kiss me.” Her voice is feather light and yet her words almost knock me backward. My gut tightens, only to be swiftly followed by my groin.
Walk the fuck away.
“Not a good idea,” I tell her, even as my hand touches her face. She leans into it, closes her eyes and purrs.
Fuck.
“Kiss me,” she murmurs once again, opening her eyes and pinning those crystal blues on me. “Please.”
And I’m done.
My fingers slide into her hair, wrapping around the base of her neck. I pull her gently toward me, leaning down at the same time.
Those lashes are so fucking long, I think, as her eyelids flutter and then close. Her hand comes up to wrap around my wrist, and she holds on to me tight.
Lips parting, breath hitching—that would be both of us—I am powerless to stop myself. My mouth touches hers, hesitates a moment, and then presses in. Joslyn opens for me just enough that I can give her a kiss that’s not so deep as to say, “I want to fuck you” but is way more than a brush of possible desire.
But because there is a part of me that wants to pull her closer, crush her mouth under mine, and possess every single fucking inch of her, I let her go and back away. The kiss lasted but a few moments and yet they were the best moments of my life so far.
And that is why I have to fucking back away.
“We can’t do this,” I tell her, my voice gruff with lust and disappointment.
“Why?” she asks, the slight lilt of disgruntlement evident.
“Because you’re my client, Joslyn. It’s inappropriate. I’m here to protect you... not to... just... I can’t.”
The warmth in her eyes dies and her mouth flattens. “I don’t think that’s a good excuse.”
“Maybe not,” I tell her. “But I can’t get involved with you while I’m protecting you.”
“What if you weren’t protecting me?” she asks.
“Were you not just participating in that kiss with me? What do you think?” My tone is sarcastic but teasing.
It makes her smile. It goes from amused to almost evil. She lifts her chin and says, “Then you’re fired. Now kiss me.”
Chuckling, I shake my head at her. “Not going to happen, Joslyn.”
I turn for the door, intent on going to my room and taking a shower so I can jack off. Her hand shoots out and latches onto my forearm. It would never stop me but I give her the respect of my attention. I’d never walk away from her until she was cool with me walking away from her.
“What could possibly be wrong with you kissing me?” she asks, genuinely perplexed.
I step into her, backing her up against the railing. Bending down to put my face near hers, I tell her what she needs to know about getting involved with someone like me. “Joslyn... if I kiss you like I really want to kiss you, it’s not going to end with anything less than me fucking your brains out.”
It’s crude and over the top, but she needs to know that the things I feel for her make me feel dangerous. She does not want me to unleash that on her, and I can’t afford to ruin this fucking job when it happens.
“Oh,” she breathes out in a long, fluttering rush of air.
“I can’t get close to you like that,” I tell her regretfully. “I have to stay removed a bit so I can stay objective when it comes to protecting you. It’s just not good to mix business with...”
My words trail off, because I can’t quite put my finger on why this is so dangerous.
“Pleasure?” Joslyn guesses.
I shake my head as it comes to me. “No. Enthrallment. You are the type of woman that would enthrall me to the point of confusion and distraction. I can’t have that if I’m trying to protect you.”
She only stares at me, measuring my words but giving me nothing in her expression to indicate if she understands what I mean. If she listened carefully—and reads between the lines—I just told her that I’ve never in my life felt for a woman the way I feel for her.
Finally, she nods and jerks her head toward the sliding door. I take the reprieve and leave the balcony. I give one last check of the main door, ensure it’s locked and bolted, and then head into the adjoining room.
Straight to the bathroom where I strip, turn the shower on hot, and step inside to jerk myself off to the images of Joslyn in my mind.
Chapter 10
Joslyn
The band currently on stage is playing some classic country music, focusing on greats like George Strait and Willie Nelson. My dad loved country music and thus, so did I. I can even sing it halfway decently, but it’s not what’s true to my soul. That’s always going to be pop rock à la the styles of Pink and Avril Lavigne with my own twist of Joslyn Meyers’ funkiness to it.
I glance at my watch again. I’m waiting for my friend Carrie Foster to arrive. Jayce is loitering in the background, leaning up against a wooden fence that separates off an area of activities for younger kids. He watches me and the surroundings, doing his job. No clue where Kynan is. He went to the ribbon-cutting ceremony at the hospital with me this morning. Technically, Jayce was on duty but Kynan informed both of us that he’d be the one taking me to that. Jayce didn’t question it but I did.
Did that mean he wanted to be with me during something that would undoubtedly be emotional? I’d like to think that was the reason, and I can’t think of any other.
But I also don’t want to read too much into it. Kynan stopped our kiss and made it clear he couldn’t take this further.
I guess perhaps he merely went with me this morning as a friend to show support, and really... that meant the world. I shed a few tears and while he made no overt move to comfort me, I could see by the look on his face that he was sad that I was sad.
He dropped me off here at the concert venue where Jayce was waiting to take over. I assume he went back to the resort to rest up for my concert tonight.
“Jossy,” I
hear from my left and when I twist my body that way, I see Carrie waving at me as she weaves her way through the crowd listening to the music. I’d chosen a picnic table that sits off to the side of the concert area, which is set up in the Whitetail Parks baseball and soccer fields that border Whitetail Lake.
From here I can see several boaters out on the lake as well as jet skiers. The city beach is packed with people who are sunbathing while listening to the concert music. The summer tourist population swells to around fifteen thousand people who want to take advantage of the amazing climate for all kinds of outdoor activities. The lake here is one such popular place for people to spend their summer vacations.
Carrie reaches my table as I stand up, and we give each other a long, hard hug as we rock back and forth. She was my best friend in high school and, while we don’t stay in touch nearly as much as we should, the bond is still there. I can thankfully feel it.
“God, you look great,” she says as she holds my hands in hers and spreads my arms wide to take a look at me. “But then again, you always did. Had all the boys panting after you.”
I roll my eyes and jerk my hands away from her. “Whatever. And besides, you’re the one that looks amazing.”
And she does. Her strawberry blonde hair is pulled back into her trademark ponytail. She’s got on a hat to shield her fair complexion from the sun, lest her thousands of freckles turn into millions.
“Pfft,” she says in response to my compliment, but that was always her way. She’s one of the most humble people I know. She takes my hand and drags me down onto the picnic table bench. We sit facing each other and straddling the pine plank, grinning like fools.
“What do you want to do today?” I ask her. Because I’d planned to spend the entire day with Carrie. I’d actually invited several of the friends that had constituted our little group in high school, but everyone had plans except Carrie. I wasn’t stupid though. I think they were personally avoiding me but I’m not sure why. I’m the same Joslyn Meyers I was when I left Cunningham Falls.
“Let’s just sit here and talk a bit,” Carrie says. “I’ve got so much to tell you, mostly about how Misty, Ella, and Christy are absolute bitches.”
“I wondered why they didn’t want to hang out,” I say glumly. “Is it me?”
Carrie, never one to pull punches, nods at me. “They’re jealous. That’s all. Started when you won that talent show, then when your album dropped they still sort of hung on because everyone thought you’d be famous. When that didn’t work out, they just turned catty but I wasn’t about to tell you that. Not with dealing with your dad and everything. Now you’re a big hit in Vegas, and they’re more than jealous again. So I’m glad they didn’t want to hang and it’s just you and me today.”
While my heart hurts a bit to know I could so easily lose friends—friends by the way who still text me as if we are still quite chummy—I’m fortified to know that Carrie never has wavered. Sure, we’ve not seen each other at all since I moved to Vegas, but she has been my one constant link back to my hometown. We try to talk at least a few times a month by phone and text far more than that.
After graduation, Carrie got a job working as a trail guide for an adventure company here and she loves it the way she loves Cunningham Falls. She’ll never leave.
“Well, let’s catch up,” I suggest to her, more than willing to move on from the other girls. “Work going well?”
“I love it,” she beams. “Hiking the back country in the summer and I’m going to start ski instructing in the winter months. I need to start making enough money so I can move out of my parents’ place.”
I give her a commiserating nod. “I totally get that. It’s not all that easy to live with your parent.”
“At least your mom is cool,” she says, without really knowing about the conflicts we face on a daily basis as I struggle to understand her true role in my life. “My parents want me to stay home on Friday nights and play Scrabble with them.”
The mention of the world Scrabble and my mind drifts off to Kynan.
And that kiss we shared last night.
A kiss that curled my toes, did the strangest of things to my body, and left me with insomnia most of the night. I was worried it would be weird in the morning, but he was just regular old Kynan with me. Ready to chat about anything or give me a cute grin when something amused him.
Such as how I started staring at his mouth while we were eating breakfast at Ed’s Diner.
“Hello, Earth to Joslyn,” Carrie says, snapping her fingers in front of my face. “Where did you go there?”
I blink at her and realize she must have been talking to me and I didn’t hear a damn word of what she said. Further proof that I have Kynan rooted deeply in my mind and can’t seem to shake him.
I look to my left and see Jayce in the same position. His head moves side to side as he surveys the crowd, in between bringing his gaze to me for a few moments. I scan the crowd around us, and don’t see Kynan, but I didn’t really expect to.
Giving my attention back to Carrie, I lean in closer to her. She immediately understands I’m about to unload something personal and potentially juicy, so she scoots closer to me and tilts her head expectantly.
“So... one of my bodyguards—”
“You have bodyguards?” she asks loudly and looks around. “Where are they?”
I grab her arm and tug on it to get her attention. “Don’t look but one of them is standing over there against the fence.”
Of course she looks. And then she ogles, which yeah... Jayce is kind of cute. But he’s no Kynan.
“Are you hitting that?” she asks as she slowly turns her head back my way.
“No way,” I exclaim.
“Can I hit it?” she asks.
I slap her on the arm and she grins at me.
“Anyway,” I continue on. “One of my other bodyguards... Kynan.”
“That’s a great name,” she says dreamily.
“He’s British,” I tell her and she sighs. Shaking my head, I move on with my story. “Anyway... we’ve gotten close, as in friendship. But there’s this crazy attraction between us and you can feel it. It’s hard to not give in to it, you know? And then last night... I asked him to kiss me, and he did, and Carrie... it was the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.”
Carrie stares at me when I finish talking.
She stares at me some more, like she expects more to the story.
When nothing is forthcoming, she slowly drawls, “Okay... tell me about the part where you had mind-blowing sex?”
My shoulders sag, as do my spirits. I shake my head. “He said we can’t. That he’s got a job to protect me and he can’t get involved with me personally.”
“So fire him,” she suggests.
“One step ahead of you. I already tried it and it didn’t work.”
Carrie looks over to Jayce again, then back to me. “So what are you going to do? Just let it go? Because... you like this guy, right?”
“So much,” I tell her softly. “He’s all I think about.”
“Does he feel the same way about you?” Her tone this time is hesitant and I can tell she wants to make sure I’m not being led on in any way.
I think about that for a moment, and realize I know something to be true. “I’m pretty sure he does. I felt it in that kiss, but more than that, it’s in the way he talks to me. The interest he has in me. Not Joslyn the singing star, but in me. And he’s opened up so much. He confides things he’s never told anyone else.”
Carrie leans forward with excitement. “Like what?”
“Like none of your business,” I tell her primly. “That’s for us to share alone.”
“You have to do something,” Carrie says adamantly. “I mean, this sounds pretty deep to me. You can’t just not pursue him because his job will interfere.”
“I don’t want him to lose his job though.” It’s the only reason I didn’t provoke him further last night. I don’t want my se
lfishness to hurt him.
Carrie looks at something over my shoulder and her eyes go big with awe. I twist my neck, look behind me, and see Kynan walking our way.
“Is that him?” Carrie asks. “I mean... I figure it is. He’s dressed the same way as the other dude over there, but damn, Jossy. You didn’t tell me he was so freaking hot.”
I ignore her and smile at Kynan as he approaches. He’s incredibly hot but that’s only one of the reasons I’m attracted to him.
The other is by what he has in his hand, which he offers to me. “Figured you could use one.”
I take the venti caramel Frappuccino with whipped cream on top. He knows it’s my favorite and he went out of his way to get me one.
“Thank you,” I tell him and then sweep a hand toward Carrie. “This is my friend, Carrie Foster.”
Kynan sticks his hand out to her and gives her a roguish smile that makes her giggle. I hold my laugh as they shake hands, enjoying seeing confident Carrie reduced to a school girl because Kynan is just that gorgeous.
Turning back to me, Kynan says, “I just touched base with Sheriff Hull. He seems to have security well in hand. Honestly, you’d be safe enough without me and Jayce at your back, but I’ll be just off stage like I normally do in Vegas, okay?”
“Sounds like a plan,” I tell him and then take a sip of the cool, creamy delight.
“You good?” he asks. “Need anything?”
I shake my head. “We’re good. Just going to hang out awhile.”
Kynan’s brown eyes turn warm for a moment and they drop ever so briefly to my mouth. Is he thinking about our kiss? Would he do it again if I asked? Am I a complete slut if I ask?
“Okay then,” he says and thumbs over his shoulder at Jayce. “He’s got control of you. I’m going to walk around a bit. Call me when you want to go somewhere.”
“I will,” I murmur and then Carrie and I watch as Kynan melts back into the crowd.
She sighs first and I sigh right behind her.
“God, Jossy,” she says. “You need to get all over that. That man is crazy about you.”
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