Why had he thought a simple five-minute apology would make everything all better?
More guilt piled on. How could he have been so callous? How could he have thought all this time that it was okay to simply pretend he hadn’t hurt her so badly? “Kendra, I… I don’t know what else to say.”
“I don’t think there is anything else to say, Nate.”
She was practically shooing him out the door. But if he left, Nate knew he wouldn’t be able to get back in. He stepped to the side, out of the doorway. “Nee, Kendra. I came to clear the air.”
“I’m sorry, but I think you came over here because you were suddenly feeling ashamed and wanted to feel better. I believe you need to hear me say that all is forgiven and forgotten so you can leave and not think about it again.”
She was right. Yet again, he’d been concerned with himself and not her. Feeling like a worm, he swallowed, trying to come up with the perfect words to say to make everything better. But though it seemed he could charm just about anyone, he couldn’t think of a thing to say.
Kendra’s dark brown eyes studied him closely. “It’s probably best you went ahead and left, Nate.”
“What is it going to take for you to forgive me?”
“I do forgive you.” When he still looked skeptical, she added, “I promise, I do.”
“But?”
“But… well, I am sorry, but like we both just agreed, there isn’t anything else to say. Ain’t so?”
She didn’t look near tears. Instead, she looked resigned and maybe disappointed, too.
He’d somehow just made things worse. He hung his head and walked out, wondering if there was ever going to be a way to make things right between them.
THREE
Katie looked around. “I think over the year, most of us have shared a story about him. But I’d love to hear from someone new. Kendra? Nate? Would either of you like to talk?”
“You go, Kendra,” Nate said. “Remember that story you told me the other night? Share that.”
Feeling shy, but also feeling just as sure that she could share something about their friend that was worth remembering, Kendra stood up. “I’m not a great storyteller, but I’ll do my best.”
TUESDAY
“Kendra, when were you going to reach out and ask me and the other girls to help you?” Katie asked as she walked into the shop.
She knew the answer to that—never. It wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate her girlfriends or think that they could give her a hand. It was more that she wasn’t comfortable asking for help from anyone. Not when she’d been berated at home when she made mistakes and been made fun of at school when she couldn’t do things right.
But all of that sounded far too pitiful to admit out loud. “I know you’re busy. All of you are busy now.”
“Not too busy to help you,” Katie murmured as she walked around the store, running a hand along the wooden shelves made from reclaimed wood that Kendra had just gotten installed. She’d elected not to get the shelves sanded and repainted. She preferred the way they looked now, with chips of faded blue and red paint on the grain.
When Katie stopped to pick up a spool of soft yarn made from alpaca fur, Kendra rushed over to help her. “Don’t be bending down like that, Katie. You’re gonna hurt yourself.”
“I’m pregnant, not sick.”
“You’re seven months pregnant. You should be sitting, not picking up things off my shop floor.” When Katie looked like she was on the verge of protesting, Kendra guided her to an overstuffed chair that she’d just bought. “Sit down and put your feet up.”
Katie wrinkled her nose but sat, placing her feet on the ottoman. Seconds later, she’d kicked off her tennis shoes. “Oh, this feels so much better. I hate wearing shoes now, my feet are so swollen.”
A memory surfaced of when her mother was pregnant with one of Kendra’s younger siblings. Once, when her mother was near her time in the middle of August, she’d sat down and rested on the front porch. Her father had been so angry.
She shook her head in an effort to block out the rest of the memories.
Worried about her friend, she murmured, “What does Harley say?”
Katie blinked. “That he feels bad for me, of course. Last night he made me a footbath. It felt like heaven.”
“Oh.” Of course that’s what Harley did. He might have been quiet, but he was such a good man. He would never be upset with Katie for complaining about swollen feet.
“So, when is your store going to open?”
“In two more weeks, I think. I am waiting for some things I ordered to arrive. I’m also making a couple of items that I need to finish.”
“Like what?”
“Just some table runners and place mats. A few bowls and vases, too. You know, things that people like to buy as gifts.”
“Are you throwing pots again?”
“I haven’t started, but I plan to in a couple of months. There’s a lady over in Millersburg who lets me use her kiln for a gut price.”
“You are so talented. It’s amazing.”
The compliment was as sweet as it was hard to hear. She tucked her head. “Danke,” she mumbled.
“You know, we’re all really proud of you, Kendra.”
“I haven’t done anything yet.”
“One day you’re going to learn to accept a compliment.”
Kendra chuckled. “It’s not a crime to be modest.”
“Moving on, how is it being so close to Nate Miller all the time?”
“Nate? Oh, I don’t know.”
“He’s so very handsome,” Katie continued in a singsong voice. “Marie and I were just talking about how he’s single, too.”
“Hmm.” She doubted her girlfriends were “just talking” about Nate.
“Did he help you put up the shelves?”
“No. I, um, I hired someone from over at Kinsinger’s Lumber in Charm.”
“Why would you go all the way over there for help when Nate is just a couple of yards away?”
“You know me and Nate don’t always get along too well.” She felt vaguely awful about saying such a thing. After all, she’d promised Nate that she’d forgiven him.
“You know, I don’t think I knew that.” Katie sat up and slipped her shoes back on. “Well, I came over to offer help, but you seem to have everything well in hand.”
“You can still stay here while I work. I’d be glad for your company.”
“I would stay to chat, if I didn’t fear that I was about to fall asleep. I think it’s time for a nap. I’ve got some guests arriving around three or four this afternoon. They’re first-time guests to our bed-and-breakfast, so I’m going to have to give them a tour.”
Kendra walked over to help her up. “Danke for coming over. It was so kind of you.”
Katie scoffed. “It wasn’t just out of kindness. I like you, Kendra. I like you and I want to help you.” She gave her a hug. “I’m not the only one, either. Don’t forget that.”
“I won’t.”
Katie smiled at her again before waddling out the door.
Kendra carefully closed the door behind her and locked it. She was alone again. This was the way she preferred to be, but suddenly it seemed lonelier than ever.
* * *
Three hours later, just as she got back to her little house, Naomi knocked on the door.
Kendra hadn’t seen her sixteen-year-old sister in weeks. They had a complicated relationship. Kendra had tried to shield Nanny—their nickname for Naomi—from their father as much as she could, but she hadn’t been all that successful. Later, when she’d moved away, Nanny had been mighty upset with her. Kendra hadn’t blamed her but had known that she wasn’t going to survive if she’d stayed. She’d justified her choice by knowing that Mary, Jeremiah, and Chris had all still been there.
But Nanny had depended on her. And Kendra knew why. After all, she’d essentially raised her.
When Nanny had turned twelve, she’d left to go live with thei
r mother’s parents near Canton. Mommi and Dawdi had a soft spot for Nanny that they’d never seemed to have for the rest of Kendra’s siblings—or maybe it was just Kendra.
“Naomi, what a lovely surprise!” Kendra exclaimed as she let her sister inside. “It’s good to see you. Did Mommi and Dawdi bring you here today?”
She nodded. “I asked them if I could stay with you for a couple of days.” She paused, reddening a bit. “I mean, if that’s okay with you.”
“You know you never have to ask about that. All you have to do is simply be here.”
“Danke.”
“Do you have everything?” Nanny had decided to live as a Mennonite like their grandparents, which meant she now traveled with a large suitcase filled with all sorts of things.
Privately, Kendra thought that her sister’s tendency to carry half her belongings with her had more to do with her being Naomi than being Mennonite. The girl always claimed she needed a good number of personal items in order to feel settled.
“My suitcase is with Mommi and the English driver.”
“What are they doing?”
“Mommi wanted to visit some shops, and Ramona, the driver, said she’d go with.”
“Where is Dawdi?”
She frowned. “He went home. I mean, to see Mamm and Daed.”
“Why?” Kendra wondered what had happened. Their grandparents had never been shy about voicing their disapproval of the way their parents had treated Kendra and her siblings. It had all seemed like a bit of a game to her. They talked about how they didn’t like the way their son-in-law treated their daughter and grandchildren, but they never actually did anything to intervene.
“Our father is sick,” Nanny said. “Dawdi fears it’s his liver.” She lowered her voice. “No one seems to think he’s going to ever get better.”
“Oh.” Maybe in the middle of the night when she couldn’t sleep she might feel differently, but she couldn’t say she felt anything other than empty inside.
Nanny, whose pale blue eyes were so different from Kendra’s dark brown ones, gazed at her intently. “Do you think we should go visit them, too?”
She was never going to step foot in that house again. “You know I’m not going to do that.”
“I don’t think Jeremiah will, either. Or Mary.”
Or Chris. Kendra didn’t know if any of them would ever see their parents willingly if they could help it. “I’d be surprised if they did.”
When Nanny’s shoulders slumped, Kendra murmured, “Naomi, each of us has to make our own way through life.”
“Uh-oh. I know you’re serious if you’re using my real name.”
“I am serious. What I’m trying to say is… if you… if you want to visit our parents, then I think you should.” And boy, did that statement feel like vinegar on her tongue.
Now that the decision was solely in her hands, Nanny looked a whole lot less sure. “I’m not certain if I want to visit them or not.”
“That’s all right. You don’t have to be sure.”
“Truly? When do you think I’ll know?”
“I can’t tell you that,” Kendra replied, feeling as old as she used to when they were growing up. She’d always had to be her siblings’ substitute mother and had memories of being twelve years old, with Chris or Naomi on a hip, trying to make enough spaghetti for the five of them.
She’d also become skilled at giving vague answers to her siblings’ questions. It was usually because she hadn’t wanted to give them the real answers, which were always filled with bad news and pain.
And just like when she’d been a little girl, her sister looked frustrated.
“Kendra, that is no help.”
It was time to redirect the conversation. “Since you’re here, would you like to have something to eat? I made a lasagna yesterday that I was going to heat up for supper.”
Nanny moaned. “Oh, yum. You have the best food, Kendra.”
Watching her little sister, who was already making her way to the kitchen, her pretty pink dress perfectly fitted and her wavy brown hair fastened in a bun under the spotless white covering, Kendra felt herself relax. She knew she didn’t have a lot. She was a broken mess and she wasn’t even sure if she trusted anyone completely. Sometimes, even God. But she did have love inside her. Love for her siblings. Love for her friends. She even loved that she wasn’t hungry and she wasn’t hurting.
Over the years, she’d come to understand that was enough.
FOUR
Because it wasn’t just the Eight there, but quite a few of their siblings, other family members, and friends, Kendra cleared her throat. “I should probably begin by reminding you all that I wasn’t always so outgoing. I used to be really shy.”
TUESDAY AFTERNOON
The note that Benjamin had put on Nate’s desk that morning was weighing on his mind. Every time there was a break in customers coming in, he found himself circling back to the handwritten letter on lined notebook paper and reading it again.
Dear Mr. Miller,
I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m in a tight spot. Someone told me that sometimes you work on people’s homes, and I hope you will work on ours.
I know it’s a lot, but will you think about it? See, we have a leak in our bathroom floor. My mother seems to think it’s a faulty pipe that is causing the problem, but we’re not really sure. Anyway, it’s making a real mess and hurting my bedroom, too, since the bathroom is right above my bedroom.
My mom tried to fix it, but she’s no plumber. Then, there’s the fact that she’s real sick and can’t work too much. And since she can’t work, we can’t pay anyone to come in to fix it. So now I’m really getting worried.
I know you don’t know us from Adam, but if you know of someone who maybe wouldn’t mind helping us patch it up, I’d really appreciate it. Things are getting pretty desperate around here.
Thank you for your consideration,
Allison Berry
1617 Palmer Dr. N.W.
She was desperate. Well, that said it all, didn’t it? Moreover, she’d been right. He did, in fact, do some pro bono work around town from time to time. Of course, the men in his church community helped one another out in times of trouble, too, but this girl didn’t seem to be Amish, so she wouldn’t have been a usual recipient.
It wasn’t anything he advertised, though. He had a business to run, and he wasn’t a construction worker by trade. He was simply handy and wanted to help others when he could. Usually it was a friend of a friend or someone he knew through church.
This was the first time he’d gotten a letter like this. It was so sweet, and it was from someone in need. He doubted she was much older than thirteen or fourteen. If she was old enough to get a job, he had a feeling she would have done that.
He knew where his mind was going, too. Back to the guilt he felt about Kendra. It seemed he was destined to do what he could to help others, since he’d done nothing to help Kendra and her siblings when she’d needed someone most.
Walking over to Ben, he held up the letter. “Do you know this girl?”
“The one who wrote you that letter? Not really.”
“What do you know? How old is Allison Berry?”
Benjamin shrugged. “You know I’m no good at guessin’ ages. Fourteen, I’d say. Maybe fifteen?”
So, just about what he’d thought. “She said they’ve got a leak, and it’s messing up her bedroom ceiling.”
“A real shame, that is.”
Nate looked at him carefully. “Any particular reason why you passed this letter on to me instead of helping her out yourself? You’re a lot better at construction than I am.”
“Couple of reasons. One, I’m not as young as I used to be. And though I’ve got a good feel for construction, you’re the better plumber. And two? She asked for you.”
Nate almost rolled his eyes. “Ben, that’s not much of an excuse.”
“It’s a good one, though. And the truth. You’re the one who has the reputation
for fixing things. Not me.” His eyes lit up when the door opened. “Hiya, can I help ya?”
Seeing that Ben had the customers well in hand, Nate stared at the letter some more, then finally decided to go over to this little girl’s house and see what was going on.
He drove his buggy down to Palmer Drive, feeling a sense of guilt he got now whenever now he passed the road. Kendra had lived on this street, which meant that he avoided it at all costs.
Time hadn’t made it any better. If anything, the houses looked even more ramshackle and in danger of falling down in a real good storm.
When he pulled up to Allison’s address, sadness filled him. Unlike some of its neighbors, the lawn was neat, and no trash littered the yard. But that said, it was obvious the house and its inhabitants had fallen on hard times. Tape covered one of the front windows, the siding was peeling and in need of fresh paint, and there was a gap around the front door that no doubt let in mosquitoes in the summer and cold air in the winter.
Two lights burned in the hallway though, so he was hopeful that someone was home.
After patting his pocket to reassure himself that he had Allison’s note with him, he knocked on the door twice. He’d already decided that if her mother or father opened, he’d show them the note and say that he’d be happy to help if they’d like the assistance.
But instead of an adult, a skinny teenage girl with tangled blond hair peered out at him through the front window just to the left of the door before opening it.
She was wearing jeans that were a little too short and a knit T-shirt that was a little too big. She also had brown eyes just like Kendra. They looked as sad as he remembered hers being, and he felt a lump form in his throat. After a few seconds of studying him, she said, “You’re Nate Miller, aren’t you?”
“Yep.” Taking care to keep his voice gentle, he added, “And I’m guessin’ that you’re Allison Berry.”
The Trustworthy One Page 3