Kane looked away. “I don’t know. I was just asking.”
“Well, while you’re asking and I’m answering, try to remember that she ain’t a girl who you mess with. If you really like her, then you’re gonna need to treat her with respect.”
Kane frowned at him. “Of course I will. What kind of person do you think I am?”
That was the thing, wasn’t it? Fact was, Kane was a much better person than he had been.
* * *
Kendra ate every bite of her two hot dogs even though she could practically feel them expanding in her stomach like coarse balls of wet wool. She would have rather not had anything. Her insides were in knots, and a thousand questions were running through her head.
Beside her, Naomi was picking at her food.
In many ways, Nanny was Kendra’s crowning achievement. Her sister was smart, driven, and well-liked by everyone. She was also fairly even-keeled.
Something was going on in her life, though, and while it was Kendra’s nature to choose to leave her alone and maybe ask her about it at a later time, she was afraid to do that any longer.
After cleaning up all their trash, Kendra dived in.
“Are ya ready to tell me what you are thinking about?”
“I was just worried about you. That’s all.”
“Naomi, I appreciate that, but I’m not a girl your age anymore. I’m a grown woman who has been living on her own for a long time.”
But instead of making her feel better, Naomi only looked more upset. “That’s the problem. You were my age when you were taking care of all of us.”
“That was a long time ago. And, darling, even though I know you, like the rest of us, still have some sad thoughts to deal with, I don’t believe that’s what is really wrong—or why you’re here in the first place.”
Naomi released a ragged sigh. “It’s that obvious?”
“It is.”
“Fine. I don’t want to live with Mommi and Dawdi anymore.”
Kendra felt as if she’d just gotten a fist punched into her stomach. What had brought that on? Had they hurt her? “What did they do?”
Naomi froze at Kendra’s tone. “Nothing. I mean, nothing bad.”
“Are you sure? They didn’t hurt you?”
“Nee. I just want to leave their house. It’s time.”
“You are too young to live by yourself, Nanny.” And yes, she realized the pot was calling the kettle black.
“I don’t want to live by myself.”
Her words had tumbled out, practically all in one breath. Because of that, it took a minute for Kendra to process what she said, but once she did, her knee-jerk reaction was that her worst fears were coming to life. “Please don’t say you’re moving back in with our parents.”
“What?” Her eyes widened. “Nee. I don’t want to go back to them.” Softening her voice, she said, “I want to move in with you, sister. I want to live with you for the next two years at least.”
“Me?”
Nanny nodded. “I can’t handle our grandparents anymore. They keep trying to fix Mamm, and worse, I think they’re starting to think that all of us ought to try to fix her, too.”
“That ain’t possible.” Maybe not that their mother couldn’t be fixed. After all, with God’s blessings, all things were possible. But there was no way Kendra was ever going to let her little sister take on that burden. “You canna fix Mamm.” And then there was their father. Sometimes, when the memories got so bad, she would be certain that not even the Lord could change Hank Troyer into anything of worth.
Naomi looked incredulous. “Of course I can’t fix our mother. But that’s not what Mommi and Dawdi think! They are sure that she just needs more time and one more chance, and that nothing that happened to any of us has been her fault.”
Kendra mentally cringed. “They don’t want to take any responsibility, either.” She shook her head. “Sometimes I feel as if they blame all Daed’s abuse on us.”
“That’s because they live firmly in denial-land. And they don’t listen,” Nanny said. “So, can I?”
Her sister’s expression was so filled with hope, it broke Kendra’s heart to disappoint her. “I love that you want to live with me. But I don’t know if I’m the best person.”
“Why not? You’re all grown up. You have your own place and your own business.”
Jah, she did. She was real proud of those accomplishments, too. But she was also broken. “I don’t have a lot of extra time, Nanny,” she said gently. “It’s just me, you know.”
“I don’t need you to look after me. I can look after myself.”
“Then, there’s high school. I don’t know what to do about that.”
“What about it?” Talking quickly, Nanny added, “I can go to the Mennonite school that your friend E.A. went to. She was Mennonite, right?”
“Jah. She was. But it’s private.”
“I had a scholarship at the school in Canton. I’m sure I can get one here. I’m really smart, Kendra.”
Yes, Naomi was. She could probably go to a university if she had a mind to do it. “What about your friends? Do you really want to leave all of them?”
“I can make friends here.”
Nanny said that so easily, like finding friends was nothing she’d ever worried about.
Just as she opened her mouth to gently tell her that she was just going to have to hang in there a little bit longer, Naomi grabbed her hand. “Please, Kendra? Don’t say no. I want to be with you. I’ve really missed you. You’ve been more of a mother than either Mamm or Mommi, you know that, right?”
Nanny wasn’t wrong. Kendra had been the one who’d changed Naomi’s diapers, who’d stayed up all night with her when she’d been sick with croup. Who’d made sure she had food and clothes. Who’d pulled her into bed and hugged her tight when she couldn’t sleep or had been scared hearing their parents yell and cry.
What could she say? “All right, then.”
“Yes? Really?”
Kendra almost smiled. “Jah, but I’m not promising that everything with me will be easy.”
“I’m not asking for easy. I just want things to be easier.”
That said it all, didn’t it? All of her brothers and sisters had grown up not expecting much. Peace at night. Food in the pantry. None of them hoped for things to be easy. No, the most they ever longed for was for things not to be too hard.
Kendra ran a hand down the back of Nanny’s head. “I’m guessing that you probably have not told our grandparents.”
For the first time in their conversation, Naomi looked a little unsure. “I thought… well, I thought you could do that.”
Kendra groaned. “Oh, Naomi. All right, but I’m going to make you be in the same room when I speak to them.”
“Are you sure?”
“Oh, jah. No way am I going to take their guilting and accusations all by myself. At the very least, I have to have a witness.”
“Fine.”
If Kendra wasn’t so frazzled, she would have laughed.
At least it was better than crying.
EIGHT
“Obviously, I didn’t mean to tell him. But one day after, um, a pretty rough night, Andy saw me walking to school. I was having trouble walking, and my clothes… they were really dirty.”
FRIDAY
“You have football practice in thirty, Kane,” his mother called out. “Do you have all your equipment?”
“Yeah!” he answered from the laundry room. He and his mother played this game almost every day. She got his things together, he put them in his duffel bag, and then just as he was getting ready to go, she asked if he remembered to actually take his duffel with him to school.
Since he was sixteen and not six, it was as annoying as could be. But it also made him remember his older brother, who would have forgotten his head if it wasn’t attached to his body.
Andrew died when he was ten years old and Kane was six. That was ten years ago.
“Kane, I did
n’t hear you,” his mother called from halfway down the hall.
He exhaled and reminded himself that not only would his father have his hide if he learned he spoke to her like that, but also he knew better. Poking his head out of the laundry room, he said, “Yes, Mom,” in a much better tone. “Thank you for getting everything together.”
Leaning against the wall, she shook her head. “You always say that. You don’t need to thank me, you know.”
But he kind of did. Their best boy was gone, and they were left with him. In a lot of ways, he was a mediocre replacement for Andrew. “I’m gonna go. See you later.”
“Want me to take you? I don’t mind. I have time today.”
Sure, a ride would be great, but he didn’t want her spending her spare time on him. He knew she was currently swamped with work. “Nah, I’ve got it.” He kissed her on the cheek. “See you tonight.”
She smiled at him before walking back into her home office. He hoisted his duffel on his shoulder and headed out.
The high school was nearby, only about a fifteen-minute walk. Ten minutes if he was running late. Even less than that if he drove his Jeep.
But in between his house and the high school was the shopping center, where his part-time job at Walnut Creek Hardware store was. And where that new girl Naomi was hanging out, helping her sister.
It was official. He couldn’t stop thinking about her. She was really pretty, but there was something about her that was so different from any of the girls at his school. She seemed smarter. More driven. More mature.
From the minute he had tried to help her and she looked at him like he was messing up her day, he knew he’d wanted to see her more.
Because of that, he half ran over to the shopping center, then took his time walking by, on the slim chance he would catch sight of her.
And yeah, he knew that was pathetic.
He got lucky, though, because there she was, sitting on the window seat. She was sipping coffee while flipping through a magazine, which he figured meant he shouldn’t bother her.
But he was looking for any reason to talk to her again.
He knocked on the window. She jumped, turned with wide eyes, then exhaled in relief.
Trying the door, he walked in. “Hey. Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s all right. For a minute there, I thought… well, never mind. What are you doing here?”
“I’m on my way to school. I left a little early, so I thought I’d stop by to see if you were here.”
She tilted her head and kind of smiled. “I guess I am.”
Since she wasn’t asking him to leave, he tossed his duffel bag on the floor. “How come you’re here so early?”
“I’m helping Kendra. She’s going to open her shop next week, you know.”
“I didn’t know that. But that’s good.”
“It is. It’s going to be great. We’re even going to serve cookies and punch. Kendra’s been cooking in the evenings for days. Maybe you could stop by.”
The invitation was sweet. “As long as it isn’t Thursday; I’ve got a game.”
“What kind of game?”
“Football.” She had to be the only person in Walnut Creek who didn’t know he was the starting running back for the team. “If Kendra’s grand opening isn’t Thursday, you should go to the game.”
“But I wouldn’t know anyone there. I don’t want to sit in the stands by myself.”
“Yeah, I guess not. Well, there are a lot of games left.”
“Maybe.”
“Nanny? Who are you talking to?” Kendra asked as she came out of the back room.
“Kane. Do you remember him? He works over at the hardware store sometimes.”
“Hi again.” Kendra looked at him curiously. “Do you work this early?”
“Oh, no. I’m on my way to school. I just stopped by…” He allowed his voice to drift off, because, really, how was he going to be able to explain to Naomi’s sister what he was doing here?
Naomi hopped to her feet. “I’ll walk him out right now.” Lowering her voice, she said, “Come on.”
He followed her out, looking at her curiously. When they were alone on the sidewalk, he said, “How come your sister has a kapp but you don’t?”
“Hmm? Oh, Kendra is still Amish. I started living with my mamm’s parents a couple of years ago. Since they’re Mennonite, I decided to be Mennonite, too.”
“I didn’t think that was allowed.”
Her chin lifted. “Not everything needs to make sense to outsiders.”
He grinned. “Since I’m Mennonite, I wouldn’t exactly call me an outsider.”
“Oh.” It was then that she seemed to take a good look at his collared shirt and dark pants. “Sorry.”
“Hey, are you going to be attending my school?”
She nodded. “I’m a junior. I start on Monday.”
Things were getting better and better. “That’s awesome. I’m a senior, so I can show you around. Hey, maybe we can even hang out sometimes?”
“I don’t know if I’ll have time for that. I’m moving here to be with my sister. Between work and school I won’t have a lot of extra time.”
She sounded so prissy. It was actually pretty cute. “Understood.”
“Gut. As long as we’re clear.”
Everything was as clear as mud. “I better go. I’ll see you.”
She smiled at him. “Have a good day, Kane.” And then she turned right around, as if he hadn’t gone out of his way to see her.
On his way to school, Kane couldn’t stop thinking about his interaction with Naomi, and as he walked to his first class and smiled back at some of the girls he’d known for most of his life but wasn’t the slightest bit interested in, he realized that his mind was set.
Naomi Troyer was complicated, beautiful, and a little prickly. But somehow she’d already claimed his interest.
He had to get to know her better. He didn’t have a choice.
NINE
“When I saw Andy approaching, I kind of tried to ignore him. But because it was Andy? Well, he stopped right there in the middle of the sidewalk like I was his long-lost best friend. ‘Hey, Kendra,’ he said. ‘What’s wrong with you?’ ”
FRIDAY
Though maybe she should have given her sister some privacy, Kendra had stood in the middle of the shop and watched Naomi talk to the boy on the sidewalk. Naomi was looking rather haughty, while Kane seemed to be trying to figure her out.
Well, that made two of them, Kendra decided.
First Nanny had shown up out of the blue and started helping her at the shop. Then she wanted to live with her. And now she had boys visiting her. It was all confusing and out of Kendra’s comfort zone. She’d spent her teenage years trying to shield her younger siblings from their father, not flirting with boys. She had no experience being monitored and didn’t know when was the “right” time to intervene or when it was better to step aside and let a relationship run its course.
She had a feeling Chris, Jeremiah, and Mary would probably feel the same way. But of course, they weren’t around. This was all on her.
Worry began to pool in her stomach as she debated the right thing to do.
She still didn’t have an answer when Naomi came inside, her face a careful mask. Kendra folded her arms across her chest and waited for her to tell her what Kane had wanted.
But all she did was walk over to a container of tags. “Should I start pricing this box of sewing notions?”
“Nee. You can tell me what that was all about.”
“What do you mean?”
Oh, brother. “Nanny, why did that boy visit you here? Is there something going on between the two of you?”
“Of course not. We just met.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. All we were doing was talking, Kendra. Don’t make a big deal out of nothing.”
She supposed she had been overreacting. “Sorry, I, well, I just figured it’s best to ask.
”
Naomi lifted her chin. “I wanted to move here to be with you. Not date.”
“Do you want to date him?”
“He hasn’t asked me out, Kendra.” Sounding more annoyed, she added, “Don’t worry about it. Now, would you like me to tag those notions or not?”
“Jah. Go ahead and tag them.” Feeling confused, she walked back to her office to think. Her dog, Sweet Blue, lifted her head and thumped her tail a couple of times. “Hey, sweetie,” she said as she knelt down. “I’m so glad you’re here.” Blue, she could understand. She’d found the mixed-breed dog at the pound, and the little thing had looked lonely and dejected, like she’d already given up on anything good ever happening to her, even though she was just a puppy.
Kendra had known that look well. She reckoned she’d felt the same way more than a time or two. She’d taken her right home, but Blue had seemed set on doing everything she could to get taken back to the pound. Kendra had continued to patiently coax her into minding the rules and feeling comfortable. Then, one day, it was like Blue had decided she no longer needed to test Kendra. She’d started doing everything Kendra had been trying to teach her for weeks. Since then, they’d practically become inseparable. Dogs, she could relate to.
“Kendra, Nate is back.”
Wondering what he wanted now, Kendra left the door open so Blue could follow her into the main showroom. “Hi.”
“Hey there. I came over to see if you needed any help, but it looks like you’ve got plenty right here.”
“I do, indeed. Between Blue and Nanny, I’m well taken care of today.”
“In that case, I was wondering if you wanted to go over to Will Kurtz’s haus this evening.”
“Why?”
“He invited a bunch of people over and asked me to see if you could come. Can you?”
“Well, I’m not sure. See, Nanny—”
“Is perfectly able to look after herself,” Nanny interrupted. “You should go, Kendra.”
Nate grinned. “Well, what do you think?”
Glancing at Naomi, she raised her eyebrows. “I think that sounds gut.”
The Trustworthy One Page 6