“Oh, Nanny.” Her mouth felt dry. “Well, um, how did the visit go?”
Naomi’s lips pursed. “Not well. Daed, I mean, our father… he’s lost a lot of weight. He looks a lot smaller, lying there in a hospital bed.”
Kendra couldn’t imagine that. He’d always been a big man. Strong and unafraid to use that strength to bully them. Even though each word felt like a sharp stone in her mouth, she murmured, “I bet he was glad to see you.”
“He looked surprised.” Naomi curved her arms around herself. “Mamm kept saying things like I was being a good girl.”
That made Kendra’s stomach turn in knots. “And Daed, what did he say?”
“He didn’t say much. I guess it hurts him to talk.”
There was a small, evil part of Kendra that was glad about that. Which of course made her feel terrible. “What was Chris doing while you were in that room?”
“Well, when we were at the restaurant, he had acted like it was real important for me to be there.” She paused, obviously trying to explain herself. “Like he wanted me there with him so much that I was sure he was going to be practically sitting on the edge of Daed’s bed.”
“But he wasn’t?”
“Not at all. He stayed by the door. Actually, he looked as uneasy as I felt. So maybe he’s not close to Mamm and Daed, either?”
“I hadn’t thought Chris was, but I would have never expected him to make you go to see our parents, either.”
“Well, anyway. I did it.” Naomi picked up her mug and took another sip.
Kendra nodded. “You did and you survived, too!” Determined to make her sister feel better, she added, “And you know what? Maybe Chris was right. Maybe you did need to go to the hospital so you could feel at peace with yourself.”
Remembering something her counselors had said back in Columbus, she added, “Closure is a good thing. Now, if our father does go to his maker soon, you won’t feel guilty about not visiting him.”
Naomi shrugged. “Maybe, I don’t know.” She fidgeted with the hem on her skirt. “Hey, Kendra?”
“Hmm?”
“Daed did ask if you were going to see him.”
“Me? Really?” Kendra was shocked.
“Oh, jah. Daed asked if I was living with you now, and when I told him yes, he asked how you were.”
“He asked how I was? What did you say?”
“I said that you were perfect. I told him about your store. He seemed surprised about that.”
Kendra imagined he was. He’d never kept his low opinion of her a secret. Fighting back an urge to cover her ears so all those hurtful words wouldn’t replay in her head, she took a fortifying sip of tea. “I’m glad you’re home.”
Naomi nodded. “Me, too. But, um, Kendra? Chris told me something that was kind of hard to hear.”
“What was that?” She tried to keep her expression neutral as she tried to guess what story about their parents Chris had shared.
“He told me about your past.”
“My past?” She put her mug of tea down. “What about it?”
“He told me about how you drank a lot when you were in Columbus and that you did even worse things, too. Like drugs. He said you took drugs, Kendra.” Looking at her with big blue eyes, Naomi asked, “Is that true?”
“Jah.” Boy, even that one word was difficult to utter.
Nanny curved her arms around herself again. “Are you mad at me for asking you?”
“Nee. I’m glad you are asking me instead of keeping all your questions to yourself.” But was she mad at Chris? Oh, yes.
There was something new in Naomi’s expression now. “Why didn’t you ever tell me about what you did?”
Each word was harder and harder to hear, but nothing stung as much as Naomi’s judgmental tone. “Why do you think?”
“Because you’re embarrassed?”
“Yes. That. I am embarrassed. But it’s a lot of other things, too. It was a bad time in my life. I was scared and hurting and alone.” She’d been so very alone, and those dark days had pulled her down so deep that she’d wondered if she would ever see light again. “I don’t like to talk about those years. I don’t like to remember them.”
“Chris said you went into rehab for your problems.” Naomi wasn’t looking at her now, and that hurt almost as much as the memories she tried so hard to keep from resurfacing.
“That’s true,” she replied slowly. “I had a bad problem and had to get help to get better. I was there for almost six months.”
“You kept that a secret, too.” Her sister was glaring at her now.
Kendra squirmed. “You’re right, I did.”
“You should’ve told me. I had a right to know.”
“Nee, you did not.”
Naomi’s eyes widened in shock.
Kendra would do almost anything for Nanny, but she wouldn’t apologize for keeping that portion of her life to herself. Weighing her words, she said, “One day you are going to feel the same way I do. Not everything about me needs to be an open book.”
“That isn’t just any old thing. Your addictions were important. Really important to me.”
“I realize that.” But those addictions and the way she’d had to work so hard to overcome them were far more important to her.
“If you do, then you know I shouldn’t have had to hear about it from Chris.”
Kendra stood up. “Chris shouldn’t have shared my personal business with you. It wasn’t his story to share.”
“But we’re family.”
That look in her sister’s eyes, so full of judgment, so full of hurt—well, it was enough to send her over the edge. “Have you met our ‘family,’ Nanny? It’s made up of a lot of hurting, damaged people. And just about every single one of us is in denial about it, too. Unless you’ve learned something about family and love somewhere else, I don’t think you’re the person to teach me how to act like a real member of one.”
“You aren’t the person I thought you were. I thought you were perfect.”
“I never claimed to be. The truth is that I’m flawed. I’m also a recovering addict. I’m not someone to be proud of, but that’s who I am. I’m sorry if you can’t handle that.”
“Kendra.” Naomi was breathing hard and looking unsure of how to continue. Then she shook her head and ran to her room.
Before she even realized what she was doing it, Kendra backed up against the wall for support, a childhood habit. Nee, maybe it was just a habit. She’d learned long ago to rely on objects for support. They were the only things she’d found she could trust to hold her up.
TWENTY–FIVE
“Now, Andy acted like I didn’t know any of you. I didn’t correct him, but I knew who all of you were. Even though we weren’t really friends, I knew all about the Eight.”
THURSDAY
“The new girl is proving difficult to get to know,” Kane’s buddy Aiden said on their way out to the field house. “She hardly gave me the time of day when I tried to talk to her before school.”
“The new girl’s name is Naomi.”
“I know. Anyway, she’s way more standoffish than I thought she’d be.” He grinned. “I guess she’s going to make me work for her number.”
“Why were you talking to her in the first place?” Kane asked. And yes, his tone was a little bit surly.
Aiden’s footsteps slowed as he gaped at him. “Uh, because I’m friendly and she doesn’t know anyone?”
“I didn’t know you went around greeting new people at school.”
Aiden raised his hands. “Whoa. I didn’t know you were so touchy about Naomi. Why is that?” A knowing look appeared on his face. “Hey, did you finally ask her out?”
“No. We’re still getting to know each other.” But since he was giving her rides to school, he thought that would’ve given all his buddies the hint to back off.
“You might want to get to know her a little quicker. She’s real pretty, Kane. If you don’t make a move, someone else is g
oing to.”
He didn’t like how Aiden was talking, like Naomi didn’t know her own mind. “I don’t need you to give me dating advice.”
He grinned. “Um, yeah you do.”
Kane was just about to tell him to cut it out when he noticed where Aiden was looking… at Robert Overholt, standing over by the fence talking to Naomi.
Worse, Kane couldn’t even say that Robert wasn’t a good guy. Captain of the football team. Vice president of the student council. Did tons of volunteer work at church. Already had a scholarship to Ohio University.
Naomi would be real lucky to have a guy like him as her boyfriend, and that would ensure that she would be accepted by just about everyone in the school. He’d treat her nice, too. But Kane wasn’t okay with that. He might not have been ready to make his move, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to.
“I’ll see you at warm-ups,” he said.
“You’re going over there?”
“Don’t even start, Aiden.” He threw his gym bag over his shoulder as he picked up his pace and dutifully ignored his buddy’s laughter filling the air.
Whatever Robert was saying to Naomi ended abruptly when Kane approached. Lifting his chin, he said, “You need something, Law?”
Robert was shooing him away! As if he and Naomi were an item. Which they definitely were not.
All of Kane’s good thoughts about the guy evaporated. “I do. I heard Coach is looking for you.” Yep, he lied, and he wasn’t proud of it.
“What does he want?”
“I couldn’t tell you. I’m just the messenger. But I’d get going if I were you.”
Robert pursed his lips. “I’m real sorry, Naomi. I better go.”
“I understand.”
After giving Kane an annoyed look, Robert shifted so he was half blocking Kane. “Can I have your number? I’ll call you later.”
“I’m sorry,” Naomi replied. “I would give it to you, but I don’t have a cell phone.”
“Really?”
Naomi shrugged. “I live with my sister, and she’s New Order Amish. She has a phone in the kitchen, but I don’t want to give out the number until I check with her first. I’m sorry.”
“I understand. There’s nothing to be sorry about,” Robert said in a gentle tone, a tone Kane hadn’t even realized he possessed. “I’ll see you tomorrow in class.”
She smiled. “Okay. I’ll see you then.”
After giving Kane another long glance, Robert started jogging to the field house. Kane watched him with satisfaction, hardly feeling bad that he would soon find out the coach hadn’t sent for him at all.
“Did your coach really want Robert?” Naomi asked, practically reading his mind.
“I heard he did.”
Naomi’s eyes lit up with humor. “You made that up, didn’t you?”
“I didn’t say that.” Before she coerced him into admitting that he was a liar, he asked, “Since you didn’t want me picking you up this week, I’ve hardly seen you. I haven’t even seen you in the halls.”
“Well, I do know my way around now.”
That wasn’t what he’d meant, and she knew it. What was going on with her? “Naomi, are you sure you’re okay? How were your classes today?”
Some of the light that had been shining in her eyes dimmed. “Oh, they were all right.”
“You sure? You don’t sound like it.” Thinking about Aiden attempting to talk to her, Kane added, “Is anyone bothering you?”
“What, here?” She looked surprised.
“Well, yeah…”
“Nee. No one’s bothering me here.”
At last she was giving him a hint. “Naomi, what’s going on?”
Looking more flustered, she gripped the fabric of her periwinkle-colored dress. “I mean, it’s nothing.”
“Sure?”
She nodded. “It’s just some trouble at home.”
Getting information out of her was like getting blood out of a rock. Usually, he would let it pass, but Naomi looked really upset. “Who’s the trouble with? Your sister or the rest of your family?”
“I don’t want to talk about it. Actually, I think I better get going.” But she didn’t budge.
Maybe he was getting somewhere. “Hey, would you like me to stop over tomorrow? I’ve got a game tonight, but tomorrow afternoon I’m free. I don’t mind.” Realizing that didn’t sound too good, he said, “I mean, I’d like to come over after school. I could drive you home and stay awhile. We could catch up. Can I?”
“Nee.”
“Oh, okay.”
Looking frustrated with herself, she lowered her voice. “I’m sorry, Kane. It’s not you. I, I really messed up everything with my sister and I think I might have to move.”
“Like, move away?”
Looking even more dejected, she nodded. “Kendra’s really mad at me.”
“I bet she’ll get over it. You wouldn’t believe the stuff I’ve said to my parents when I’ve gotten mad. They just blow it off, though. They know I don’t mean it.”
The muscles in her face seemed to tighten. “I bet you take that for granted, too. I bet you don’t even think about how lucky you are that you can just say and do what you want and not worry about what’s going to happen.”
“That’s not what I said,” Kane replied. “I don’t go around saying jerky stuff to my parents all the time.”
“Oh. Just only sometimes, when you can’t help it?” she pushed, sounding even angrier. “And then what do you do? Do you lie to your friends? What kind of person are you?”
Afraid to reply to any of that, he held up his hands. “Naomi, I guess I’m the type of guy who should’ve known better than to come over here and try to talk to you. I guess I’m the type of person who shouldn’t care about how you’re feeling. I better go.” He walked away, not looking back. As he heard her walk in the other direction, he realized that he had lost her.
* * *
Fifteen minutes later, when he was warming up on the field, Robert strode over to him.
“Thanks for telling me about Coach.”
Huh, looked like he got lucky. “No problem. Is everything all right?”
“Yeah, sure. He just wanted me to help him figure out who was starting for today’s game. Sorry, but you’re not.”
Kane opened his mouth to argue, but he knew he deserved Robert’s bit of revenge. “That’s too bad. Thanks for letting me know.”
“Anytime,” he said sarcastically.
“Oh, and Robert? I think Naomi really likes you.”
Robert blinked. “You think so?”
“Oh, yeah.” He even tried to smile and act like that didn’t bother him at all.
“But wait a minute. I saw the way you were looking at her. I thought there was something between you and her.”
“Nah, we’re just friends. Barely that. I hardly know her.”
“I’ve got to get to know her better.” Readjusting the helmet on his head, he had the grace to look shamefaced. “Sorry about getting pulled off the starting lineup.”
“It’s no big deal. I didn’t deserve it today. Maybe next time.”
Robert nodded slowly. “Yeah, maybe next time.”
Jogging to the locker room, Kane pulled out a piece of gum and started chewing, trying to think about nothing but the game.
He was pretty sure that was going to be impossible to do. All he could seem to think about was Naomi and the pain in her eyes. How she’d said he hadn’t known how lucky he was. And how he was pretty sure that she was right.
TWENTY–SIX
“Anyway, before long, we finished the sandwiches, cleaned up our plates, and put my dress into the dryer. And then we sat by the side of his pool and stuck our feet in. The water felt cool and fresh. It looked a little blue and so very clean. It made me feel clean, too. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that feeling.”
THURSDAY
The more time that passed since she and Naomi had spoken, the harder it was to smile.
“Miss, where exactly is your source for the alpaca yarn?”
“Hmm?” Kendra asked, trying hard to focus on what the lady in the gray tweed suit asked.
“I asked where the alpacas live. Are they local?”
“I don’t know.”
The woman pulled back her hand from the yarn she was practically caressing. “What do you mean? Could the animals be from a foreign country?”
After taking a deep breath and reminding herself not to tell the woman that alpaca fleece was alpaca fleece, no matter where they lived, Kendra replied, “I get the yarn from a weaver in Middlefield. She makes the yarn in her workshop on her property. So, nee, I don’t reckon that the alpacas are living in another country.”
The woman smiled again, which made Kendra even more confused about what was important and what wasn’t. Or, perhaps, she simply didn’t care about such things.
“I’ll take a dozen skeins of that yarn, then.” She pointed to the basket. “Would you mind getting them for me while I look at those vases and flower pots by the window?” She smiled brightly. “There really is so much to see in here.”
“Nee. Of course not.” Feeling as if she was on autopilot, Kendra bent down to count the skeins.
On another day, she’d be practically turning cartwheels in excitement. The alpaca yarn was by far her most expensive. Selling a dozen packets of it was going to not only make her feel as if her gamble on stocking the high-end merchandise had been the right decision, but it would also help her profits for the week.
But all she could think about was how she’d failed her sister and was likely going to lose her, just like she’d lost her other siblings.
The lady walked over with a vase and a bowl that Kendra had made over a year ago and had put in the store on a whim. “I love these!”
“I’m glad. Are you interested in one?”
“I’m interested in both, dear.” She set each carefully on the countertop. “Do you have any idea who the artist is? Is he or she local?” she asked, just as the shop’s door opened and Katie and Harley Lambright entered.
After glancing at her friends, Kendra nodded at the lady. “The artist is local. Very local. As a matter of fact… I made them.”
The Trustworthy One Page 16