One of the paramedics, a dark-haired man around Dylan’s age, with kind eyes and blue gloves on his hands, asked him a series of questions. That’s when I heard Dylan finally admit what was wrong.
“I was diagnosed with MS earlier this year. I volunteered for a new drug trial, and well, I can’t get up now, as you can see.” He tried to joke about it, but I could see real fear in his eyes.
I couldn’t blame him. I’d be screaming to be taken to the hospital right away if it was me. The two men soon had Dylan on a stretcher, and I put on a pair of jeans and threw a jacket over my cotton nightgown before I grabbed my purse. I followed them down, then took my car to meet them at the hospital.
The drive to the hospital was nerve-wracking, but I followed behind the ambulance and that ensured traffic wasn’t a problem. It wasn’t long before the ambulance pulled into the emergency room, and I drove into the parking lot to find a place to park. I locked the doors on the car and hurried into the emergency waiting area. All I could do was sit and wait, I was told. So that’s what I did.
I wasn’t allowed in the waiting area they put Dylan in, but later, when he’d been admitted and put into a room a nurse came to get me.
“He’s asking for you, ma’am,” the nurse said, a kind smile in place. It must have been something healthcare professionals practiced. I was glad for it, either way, because I was shaken badly and scared out of my mind.
I walked into Dylan’s private room to find him connected to machines by cables and tubes. He had his eyes closed, and the bed was in an upright position. That couldn’t be comfortable. I moved to stand beside the bed to try to figure out how to move it down so he’d be comfortable.
“Emily?” he asked, his voice scratchy. I looked around and saw a plastic pitcher with water in it on a tray by his bedside. I poured some in the plastic cup on the tray and gave it to him.
“I’m here, darling,” I assured him and sat down.
“Fuck. I was going to tell you, I swear.” He opened his eyes, and I could see how worried he was. “Please don’t leave me.”
“Dylan? Why the hell would I leave you? You’re ill, not married with five children. Now that, I’d leave you for, but this? Baby, no. You need me, and I’ll be here for you. I swear that to you.” I put the rail on his bed down and sat next to him. I put my hand over his heart and looked at him. “I’m not a monster, you know?”
He let his head fall back on the pillow and sighed. “I was worried enough about my past, that you might think I was like my mom, but this too? Fuck, Emily, you’re an angel. I always knew you were, but you just proved it.”
I kissed his cheek but held my weight off of him. “What have they said?”
“That I’m having a flare. They’re giving me medicine that should take care of the problem, but there’s never a guarantee with this disease. I may end up worse, before it gets better. Or I might … well, this could kill me, Emily.”
“I know, Dylan. I read about it while I waited to see you. I’ll be here for you, through whatever comes, and I’ll make sure you have the best care you need, if I bankrupt myself and my family to do it.”
“I don’t think it’ll go that far.” He laughed softly and looked up at me. “I have good insurance and a little money of my own.”
“You do. I’m just so used to…” I let the words trail off, slightly embarrassed. I’d been privileged my whole life but knew others hadn’t.
“It’s alright, baby. I know what you meant.”
He sighed and closed his eyes again. “Why don’t you go home, Emily? Get some rest? I’ll probably be in here for a few days, and you need to rest.”
“I do, but I’ll stay here with you. I’m not leaving your side.” I looked at the uninviting chair meant to also serve as a bed for family members. It would have to do.
Throughout the night, nurses came and went, and Dylan was wheeled out twice for different tests that couldn’t wait until morning. During one of the tests, Dylan’s doctor came into the hospital room, the doctor he had flown in from Kansas.
“Hi, I’m Emily, his girlfriend,” I said when the doctor introduced himself.
We talked about what would happen with Dylan, what other tests they’d run, and whether the doctor was hopeful Dylan would be home by tomorrow.
“I doubt it. I suspect he’s having what we call an attack or a flare. I want to keep an eye on him, and the best place to do that is here.”
“Alright,” I agreed and looked away. I was embarrassed to admit I’d forgotten the doctor’s name already. It was three in the morning, though.
“You should go home, Emily. There isn’t a lot you can do here,” the doctor said, and I nodded.
“Probably, but I can’t. I won’t leave him on his own.” I’d listened to the man down that hall and the way he screamed, and I knew it was better to stay with Dylan. The sounds and noises in a hospital were stressful enough when you had someone with you; alone the stress was just amplified.
“Fine, but try to rest when you can. We don’t need two patients.” The doctor patted my arm and told me he was off to find the admitting doctor to speak to. I settled back into the chair and pulled the thin blanket a nurse had brought me up around my neck.
I still had my nightgown on, I realized, but I didn’t care. Dylan needed me. I wasn’t as afraid as I’d been when I first arrived at the hospital, but I was fully aware that Dylan needed help that I couldn’t give him. From what I’d read, I knew he would experience stages with the disease, if his medicine didn’t control the way the disease wreaked havoc on Dylan’s brain and nerves.
I’d be doing a lot more research as the days came and went. I’d know this disease backward and forward before long, but for now, I knew enough to be afraid, but not terrified. There was hope he could have a normal life.
I patted my stomach, totally aware now that Dylan might not want to have children. He might be afraid to. That added to my worry. He’d looked so wonderful with that baby in his arms, that I’d started to think that he would be happy about my news. Now, I had to wonder. Would it be fair to dump this on him at such a bad time in his life?
Or would it give him a reason to fight?
The orderlies wheeled Dylan back into the room and helped him get into the position he desired on the bed. He was a very fit and healthy man so he could maneuver his upper body well, he just had no control over his legs. My heart broke as this strong man struggle.
Normally, he’d be too prideful to let me see him at this moment in his life. He wouldn’t want me to see how weak he was. This was a different Dylan than the one I’d met, though. This Dylan needed help and didn’t mind taking it. He had no choice, so he accepted it without complaint.
“How are you, darling?” I asked from the side of the bed. I stood close enough to brush his hair back from his face and watched him as he struggled to open his eyes.
“I’m so tired, Emily. So fucking tired. I’m glad you’re here.” He clasped the hand that brushed at his hair and kissed it. “Come up here. Sleep with me. I need to feel you.”
I wanted to protest but didn’t. He wanted to feel me next to him. I went to the side with the least amount of cables and no tubes and curled up against him. He sighed and fell asleep immediately.
I wasn’t awake for very long after that. It had been a long, exhausting day, followed by a much longer night. I still hadn’t taken it all in, but I was happy because I was able to feel him beside me as the night faded away.
Emily
When life hands you lemons, you’re supposed to make lemonade. That was how the saying went, and it was all I could do now. Make the best of a bad situation. The problem wasn’t that Dylan was ill, it was that I felt helpless. His condition grew worse throughout the day, and his vision became blurry.
Doctors, nurses, consultants and specialists came and went into his room, each one serving a different purpose. One came to check his eyes after he was given more medicine; another came to check how his bladder was holding up. The
n another specialist came in to consult with the doctor who had already assessed Dylan’s eyes. It was all very confusing, and I forgot names at the drop of a hat.
It wasn’t that I didn’t care about their names; it was that I couldn’t keep up. I was exhausted, and the pregnancy only added to that. I got sick after I had breakfast, and thankfully Dylan was out for another test when that happened. A nurse came in, a brown-haired woman with warm brown eyes, and she asked me if I was alright. I said I was as I wiped my face with those awful paper towels then threw them away.
“If you need anything, just let me know, sweetie. I know what it’s like. I have three of my own.”
I stared at the woman, surprised that she knew.
“You have that look; it’s unmistakable, if you know it. You have to take care of yourself now, and this is going to be trying for both of you. I’m here if you need anything.”
I felt a wavering smile stretch across my lips and nodded. She left before I could say a word, but I felt that sense of understanding that women shared sometimes. That knowing that came with things like pregnancy, marriage, and most things women. It made me feel warm.
I sat in that horrible chair that was quickly becoming my nightmare and waited for Dylan’s return. I flicked on the television and found a load of early morning cartoons. I saw one that was far older than me, but I enjoyed it because it was a classic. I wasn’t really paying it much attention, but it was distracting, at least.
When Dylan came in, I helped him to settle in his bed, washed his face and arms with a sponge the nurse brought me, and checked him over visually. I saw warm skin, strong limbs, and eyes that were bleary, but alert.
“How are your eyes, darling?” I asked him, and he gave me a wan smile.
“Still blurry. Not quite double vision, but enough to make my stomach feel sick.” He closed his eyes, and I knew it was to seek relief from the nausea his condition caused. “I need to get back to work; I don’t have time for this.”
“You do have time, that’s why you’ve hired so much staff. I’ll make a few phone calls in a bit and make sure everything’s in order. Don’t worry, Dylan, we’ll get you through this.” I squeezed his hand and sat on the edge of his bed. “You don’t have to do everything alone, you know.”
“I do know,” he said and opened his eyes for a moment to smile at me. He closed them, though, and turned his head away. “As soon as I can think, I’ll give you a list of people to call. I just need my head to stop spinning.”
His Kansas doctor, a very good man, and good at his job, had him on yet another new medicine. One that was supposed to be the next best thing to a miracle for those who suffered from MS. I had hope but tried to be realistic.
“Take your time, darling. I’m going to go out and make a few phone calls, then I’ll be back. Get some rest.” I kissed the side of his head and left the room. He was asleep before I made it out of the door.
I ran straight into my brothers, Trent, Mason, and Kevin.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, as I led them away from his door.
“I heard what happened and came to find out if you needed anything. We came to find out, that is,” Trent amended when Mason and Kevin looked at him with twin glares.
“I know a couple of people who work here, Emily, and they told me that you were here with a friend. I knew it must be Dylan, and I hope you don’t mind. We were just trying to be supportive.” Mason came to me and gave me a hug.
“Of course, you know some of the staff here,” I mumbled as I buried my head in his shoulder, tears suddenly in my eyes. His wife had been a patient at one point in time, as she fought her battle with cancer. It would make sense that he might know some of the staff here. “I’m so glad you are all here.”
“Don’t cry, little sister. We’ll make this better. Somehow.” Kevin patted my back, and I turned to hug him.
“Thank you just being here is wonderful of you all.” I moved on to Trent. He was always so awkward when he first hugged you, but then, he would settle into it and gave off such comforting vibes. They all did, really.
“Just tell us what to do, Emily. How can we help?” Trent pulled away, tilted my face up, and gave me a brotherly kiss on the forehead.
Now that was new. I blinked at him and smiled with a watery smile. “This, this is awesome. Really.”
I let my head fall to his shoulder and hugged him tight. I’d thought I’d never have a hug from him again, but at last, he’d thawed.
“Tell me what’s going on. Us, tell us.” Trent had been given yet another glare by my other brothers, and I laughed at them all.
“Come to the family waiting area, and I’ll explain it all.”
Kevin stopped at the coffee stand in the large waiting area and brought us all a cup of standard, awful, hospital coffee. We all drank it anyway, as I began to explain what was wrong.
“So this could happen again?” Trent asked after I’d given him the rundown of Dylan’s condition.
“It could, as he progresses through the stages of MS. He’s teetering on the edge of second stage now, but his doctors are trying to prevent him from going over. Right now, he’ll have tremors, problems with memory, maybe even urinary dysfunction, muscle pain and weakness. That might be all he ever experiences. There’s no cure, that we know.”
“I’ll get one of my assistants researching around the globe, Emily; don’t you worry,” Trent interrupted, but then went quiet, his eyes intent on mine.
“Thank you. Thank you for being here, really. All of you.”
Mason, always the joker, was quiet now. I knew he was thinking of Laura, and I took his hand. “You of all people will know what this is like. Thank you for being so brave.”
“What? It’s not brave at all.” He brushed off the compliment but squeezed my hand. It was brave, to face coming into a place like the one where Laura had fought for her life and might have to fight for it again one day.
“Why don’t you go home and get some rest, Emily? We’ll stay here with Dylan until you come back.”
“What?” I asked and turned to Kevin. “Don’t you all have things to do, stuff to take care of?”
“That’s what we have employees for, sis. We’re here for you, as long as you need us.” Kevin patted my hair and kissed my cheek.
I stared at them all, and for the first time in my life, I felt like my brothers really loved me. Tears burst from my eyes, and I sobbed an ugly sound that was actually happy. Kind of.
“Oh, Emily, honey, we’re so sorry we’ve been such horrible brothers to you.” Trent moved to the couch I was on with Kevin and took me in his arms.
It might not be the most perfect time for a family reunion, but it was the right time. I had been so busy pretending that everything would be fine, that I’d almost convinced myself that I believed it. With them there, reality hit, and I took the comfort they offered me.
“Don’t you worry, Emily, we’ll make sure he recovers, one way or another,” Mason volunteered when my sobs had tapered off, and I could focus again.
Trent handed me a handkerchief, and I mopped my face dry and sniffled until I’d recovered myself.
“Trust you to still use handkerchiefs,” I joked as I reached for a box of tissues at the table beside me. I cleared up any remaining tears and threw the tissues away.
“Go home. Have a shower and rest. I know it won’t be easy, but you have to stay strong. We’ll get you both through this.”
“Alright. I don’t want to, but I know you’re right.”
“I’ll call my driver. He’s waiting for you,” Trent said and moved away to make the call.
“We’ll tell him where you are. We’ll take care of him, I swear.” Kevin hugged me tight, and that’s when I noticed something.
None of them were in their normal suits. All had on jeans, loafers, and t-shirts. They’d come casual, prepared to be here for a while. They’d done this together then, I decided, and felt another wave of tears start, but swallowed it back.
/> I went back to the penthouse and did as instructed. I had a shower, a light lunch, and then went to bed. I didn’t sleep, not at first; my brain was too exhausted, too nervous to sleep. I put on a movie, an old black and white film, and tried to watch it, but found my eyes kept closing.
I woke up a few hours later and realized I’d missed the movie. A color film was on, and the sky had started to darken. I rolled onto my back and stared up at the ceiling. I had to get dressed and head back to the hospital, but first, I had to wait for the nausea to pass.
I rubbed my hand over my still flat stomach and talked to the baby hiding inside of me. “You have to stop making me sick, little one. You’re no bigger than a jelly bean, you know? Settle down in there.”
The sickness passed after a few minutes, and I got up. I checked my phone and saw I had messages. My brothers told me that Dylan had improved and that he was going to be released later that night. His vision was better, his legs were working again, and he was responding well to the medicine. I wanted to cheer to the rooftops but held myself in check.
Dylan might not be out of the woods, but he’d improved enough that the doctors agreed that he could go home to recuperate. That was a good thing and one I’d be thankful for.
I also had a message from Roxie, and I sent a long one back to explain what had happened. She replied immediately and asked what I needed. She’d always been such a good friend. I replied saying all I needed was some love, and she sent that back gladly in her next text. I smiled as I got dressed and couldn’t help but take stock.
I had my brothers and their wives in my life again, and Roxie, a true friend through it all. I had Dylan. I’d felt so alone not that long ago, and now, I almost had more love than I knew what to do with.
In fact, my sisters-in-law showed up just as I started to leave. “What are you all doing here?”
“Trent said you all were bringing Dylan home later, so we want to make sure you have what you need when you get back. Do you want us to pick up shopping, or make something to eat? What do you need, Emily? Just say the word.” Jessi hugged me and went to the kitchen, Laura and Ember on her trail.
Dark Truth Page 9