I tipped my head. “Didn’t what, doll?” I was being crass, but I wanted to hear her say it.
Nina turned about seven shades of red. “I didn’t—you’re so—I didn’t know that you were…”
“That I’m what?”
She bit her lip. “That you’re so big,” she whispered.
My cock twitched, as if in response. I kissed her again, enjoying the way she squirmed now, trying to get even closer.
God, it would be so easy. I was maybe an inch from that sweet spot I’d spent the last hour priming. I was reasonably big, yeah, but I knew without a doubt that I’d slide in like she was made for me.
Her hips lifted, and I was even closer.
But. I wanted to let everything go with this woman, maybe more than I had ever wanted to with anything in my entire fucking life.
But I couldn’t. Not now. And, if what she said was true, not ever.
“Hold on,” I muttered, fumbling to the side of the bed for my pants.
I located the condom in the pocket, then kneeled between her legs. Nina stared openly as I slid the rubber on. Her mouth was still open, ripe and swollen. I could imagine slipping myself there too. Holding her down. Taking full advantage of those luscious lips.
Maybe later.
Maybe never.
One night? Goddammit.
But instead of allowing that particular thought kill the desire pumping through every vein in my body, I focused instead on the fact that she was was here, legs open, willing, welcoming. Dying for me.
I toppled back over her and cradled her face between my palms.
“Matthew,” she whispered again.
I placed a kiss on her lips.
Everything I knew was in this moment.
Nina Astor was in my arms. Open to me. About to take me inside her.
And I had one night—a few fucking hours—to make it count. I wasn’t going to waste any more time.
But it wasn’t her body or lips or even just the idea of sex that echoed through my mind as I finally slid inside her.
It was one word. A simple word.
A word that suddenly scared me more than anything had my entire life.
It echoed.
It shook.
Home.
Ten
“Matthew.”
There it was again. That name. My name, yes, but also one that had always sounded so foreign when anyone else said it. Anyone but her. To everyone else, I was Mattie, Zola, or something worse if they didn’t like me.
But here. Naked. Buried in her body. To Nina Astor, I was Matthew, plain and simple. The name my mother gave me somehow now belonged to this woman.
She arched, taking me deeper, then winced. I stilled. She was right—I was pretty big. And even with an hour’s worth of foreplay, she still needed a few minutes to acclimate. Her eyes were squeezed shut, and I remained a statue. I wanted to watch the desire build in those soft gray depths when I drove even further.
Slowly, I pulled out. She gasped and clawed at my shoulders. But her eyes opened at last, darting frantically around the room before landing on me.
“Matthew,” she whispered. “Please.”
So I thrust back in. And did it again. And again.
My thumb found her clit, but to my surprise, Nina batted my hand away. I looked down at her, and she shook her head, eyes half-closed with the look of a woman hurtling toward the edge of pleasure.
“I d-don’t need it,” she stuttered, rocking her hips up to meet each thrust of mine.
“Lucky me.”
Nina just gasped as I slammed into her. God, she could really take it. I spread her legs wider, enjoying the sight of the two of us joining. I tipped my head back, giving myself up to the pure sensation. Words were leaving me. Everything outside of this bed was leaving me.
“Slap me, baby.” I told her as our pleasure took over.
“What?” Her voice was heavy with lust, in spite of her obvious confusion.
I took her arms and yanked her up, falling onto my heels so I could drill into her from below.
“Slap me. Hit me. F-fuck, baby. Are you close?”
Her arms were entwined around my neck as our sweat-soaked bodies met. Her head fell back, offering me the white expanse of her neck. I bit one side.
“Oh, God,” she moaned. “Oh, God, I’m…I am close. Matthew!”
“Then, slap me.” I grabbed her chin and forced her to look at me. “Treat me like the dog I am. Please, Nina. I need it.”
She paused, trying to read my face. But as I drove upward one last time, her entire body started to shake as her own orgasm took over. And instead of slapping me, she kissed me. She kissed me, and bit my lip, hard enough to draw blood while her nails raked up my back. It was the precise combination of pleasure and pain I needed.
“Fuck!” I shouted as I rammed upward. Letting go. Pouring my release into this body that I had been dying to possess all night. I buried my face in her breasts, inhaling the scent of her while I poured the rest of myself inside. “Nina. Oh, God, baby.”
“Matthew!”
But I wasn’t done. I came and came, but with a woman like this still wrapped around me like a vine, and only hours left in the night, I wasn’t finished yet.
The animal inside was just waking up. The one that only knew one thing: tame or be tamed.
Nina was a noodle when I pulled her off my body and spun her around toward one of the bed posts.
“Hold on,” I said as I pulled out, then disposed of the condom and grabbed a new one.
She was dazed, obedient, propped against the post when I turned back around. In another life, I was already binding those wrists to the wood, slipping a toy between her thighs, testing out my hand on her flesh. I was no dom, but I liked control. I enjoyed peeling apart a woman’s layers in a process that took days, weeks, even months to do properly.
Not just a single night.
Even so, I had to take a moment to enjoy what I saw. The outstretched grace of her arms, the smooth line of her slightly arched back. The perfect curves of her ass presented like a gift. What in the fuck had I ever done to deserve a woman like this?
As a gift? Or, if my current state of obsession was any indicator, maybe a curse?
The night was more than half over, but I had a feeling I was ruined for life.
Well. Too late for regrets now.
I pressed against her, running my hands over her ribs, briefly cupping her breasts, then sliding up her arms. My cock slipped between her thighs.
“Nina.” I said her name for the pleasure of it. Just for the taste of the syllables on my tongue.
She arched against me, though I hadn’t given her much space to move. I ran a hand back down her body, settling on the curve of her ass. Cupping, squeezing. She hissed when I bit her shoulder. Gasped when I slipped my thumb into her pussy. And then jerked when I drew it up to find her other entrance. A different entrance.
“What—oh!”
My teeth clamped harder on her neck. “Is that all right, doll?” I prayed to God she’d say yes. I was already hard again, not that I’d lost much anyway. But I didn’t want more of the same. I wanted all of her. I wanted everything.
Animal.
I released her wrists with my other hand, trusting her to hold on to the post for balance. It wasn’t easy, getting the condom on one-handed, but there was no way I was moving my thumb now. She was just starting to press back against it. Opening up that beautiful, tight bud to at least one part of me.
“If I only get one night,” I said, “then I want every part of you. I want you to leave this hotel knowing that I have been everywhere it is physically possible for a man to be in a woman’s body, baby. I want you to feel marked.”
I wanted more. And I was pretty sure she did too.
“I…” She tensed as I slipped my thumb in a bit deeper. “No one has ever done that before.”
I wasn’t surprised. But I was admittedly elated.
“Then, can I, Nina?” I asked, pressing my thu
mb in fully, then drawing it out. My cock twitched between her thighs. I angled my hips and slipped it back inside her, enjoying once again that wet, slick space that seemed made just for me. “Tell me I can, baby. I’m fuckin’ begging you.”
I toyed with her rim again. She pressed her forehead against the wood.
“Yes.” Her voice was a breath. “Yes. Do it.”
Relief came with a release of breath I hadn’t known I’d been holding. “Yes, ma’am.”
Maybe it wouldn’t work. Most needed a bit more...equipment...to make this happen, if they were game at all. But she was so wet, and we were both dying for it. I thrust a few more times for good measure, then drew my cock between her legs, up, up, so I could press find the place my thumb had just been. Pushed forward. One inch. Wait. Then two. Wait. Nina flexed, then relaxed, again and again.
“Just a bit more, beautiful.”
I pressed a kiss to Nina’s shoulders. Her body shook, fully tensed as she gradually accepted me. It wasn’t easy, I was sure. But she would do it. And soon, I’d make her love it, too.
Finally, I was completely seated, and I took a moment to admire the view. My cock, buried in the tight, perfect shape of her. I’d remember this moment for years. Fuck, I might never recover from it.
“Move,” Nina said into her arm. She had buried her face into it, fully tensed as she bore the intrusion. Her shout was muffled into her arm.
“Easy, baby,” I said as I brought the hand back to where our bodies met. Set my fingers around my cock and watched as I slid out, then slowly, slowly, pressed in. “How does that feel?”
I did it again. And again. Each time moving as slowly as she needed. Giving her time to relax even more.
And eventually she started to move with me. Her breath was practically in shards, but her body was rocking backward, meeting me, harder and harder as I continued my work.
I reached around, finding her clit, pinching it between two fingers. She would need more than just a tease. This was intense. For both of us. I was big, and she was tight, and if her labored breaths were any indication, she needed something equally intense to bring her the same kind of pleasure she’d experienced before.
Or, I hoped, even more.
“Feel it,” I growled against her neck, pushing inside as I tugged lightly on her clit. She was swollen, heaving. I was already two seconds away.
Home, home, home.
There was that word again, throbbing with every movement.
Nina Astor.
Matthew Zola.
Names ceased to mean much at all as I began to thrust, finding a rhythm right along with her. She gasped for breath every time. Reached a hand back to yank at my hair.
Like the dog I am.
She had been learning too. The pain was my undoing.
“Fuck, baby,” I said as pace quickened. “Are you—are you close?”
“I don’t know,” she whispered.
Some women couldn’t always get there. Not like this. But Nina had walked every step with me so far. And by the way she was vibrating, I was pretty sure she’d take this last one.
I pinched her clit harder. “How about now?”
“AH!” The shout erupted from her chest like a siren. I shoved her against the post, ignoring the creak of wood as I thrust, over and over again. Her body shimmied, ass shaking, breasts swaying as her orgasm cascaded through her body, far more powerful than anything yet. I spilled into her darkest space, roaring my release right along with her.
“NINA!”
I shouted it out, again and again. Her name would echo in my bones for days.
This one scarlet night would be imprinted on my soul for years.
Eleven
“What will you do when you leave here?”
Nina and I lounged in bed after polishing off the bottle of champagne and the bowl of strawberries. It was cheesy, sure. A little too Pretty Woman, a movie I could only remember with that amount of accuracy because of my sisters. Shit, I could probably quote every romantic comedy made since approximately 1985.
I inhaled deeply, still trying to catch my breath. Over the last few hours, she hadn’t stopped. We hadn’t stopped. A quick rinse had turned into an hour-long fuck-fest under the Rainshower. Catching our breath on the couch had ended with half the pillows on the floor.
The woman was insatiable. She wanted it every way. Everywhere. And I had no fuckin’ problem giving it to her.
“Nothing major. I need to do some things around the house before we go uptown on Sunday,” I said. “Mass and Sunday dinner. I think we’re celebrating one of my cousin’s birthdays too.”
“Which cousin?”
I looked up at the ceiling, like I was trying to sort through them all. “Ah, Marie, the little one. No, Paula. Shit, you know, I’m not actually sure.”
Nina giggled.
“And your whole family will be there?”
I nodded. “Every single squawking hen, jammed into that three-bedroom. Uncles, aunties, first, second, third cousins, plus whoever decides to drop in that day.” Twenty was a small crowd on Sundays. Birthdays were closer to forty.
Nina shook her head. “I can’t believe you really have five sisters. No one has big families like that anymore.”
“Except sometimes-devout Roman Catholics,” I said. “You can always tell which years my mother decided birth control was against doctrine.”
“Is that why you wear this?” She turned on her side and toyed with the chain around my neck, from which hung a small white gold cross. “It’s very…pagan.”
I tipped my head back and laughed, hard enough that my belly shook. “Only rich WASPs would say that about a crucifix.”
“Well, look at it. It’s so brutal. Do they have to cast the actual drops of blood on his face?”
Nina wrinkled her nose. I wanted to kiss her.
“It’s so painful,” she finished. “Isn’t there enough pain in life?”
“Salvation is painful, doll,” I said, closing my hand over hers on my chest. “And we’re all sinners. Christ died for us because he knew we’d get there on our own.”
She lay there, brooding. I couldn’t tell if she thought I was full of it or not. It was a little rich to be talking redemption after the things we’d just done.
“This was a gift from my grandfather when I was confirmed,” I continued. “It’s funny, I think I asked him the same thing about it. And he told me that I was a man now. I needed a reminder that Christ didn’t just die for our sins. He took a beating, torture, and bled for days. Looked death in the eye and took it like a man. Nonno said I shouldn’t ever consider being good the easy way out. In fact, it’s usually the hardest.”
“Isn’t that the truth?” Nina was quiet for a long time. Guilt was written all over her face.
“Hey,” I said, tipping her chin up to look at me again. “Don’t.”
“I shouldn’t have come here,” she replied sadly. “It was just too hard to say no to you. It was easier to stay.”
“Some things aren’t always that black and white,” I said. “And you know what else was hard? Losing myself in you when I know I can only have it once. That’s hard, baby. But I will never regret a single thing we’ve done together. Not fuckin’ one.”
Her mouth quirked. “Why do I think you would be able to rationalize anything? I’d wager you could find a Bible verse to justify murder if you had to.”
“Like, ‘you shall not let a woman who practices sorcery live’?” I cocked a brow. “Exodus 22:17.”
Nina stuck out her tongue. I laughed.
“I suppose that accounts for all the women burned at the stake,” she said.
I rolled on top of her. “Good thing it’s the twenty-first century, beautiful. I’m pretty sure you’d have been arrested.”
Nina laughed, and the sound made my chest expand. “You’re too much.”
I kissed her embarrassment away. I could have spread her legs again and gone another round, but for now, I was content to linger he
re. Sometimes a kiss was just as sweet as anything else. At least with Nina. Maybe that was her magic.
“You did put a spell on me,” I admitted after I finished.
We stared at each other. No. I wouldn’t ask. She couldn’t have been clearer.
But it was too hard. And I wasn’t that good.
“Seriously, though,” I said, suddenly shy. “What about it, doll? What if…what if this weren’t the end?”
I stroked a hand over her hair, smoothing it away from her face. She brought up her own hands to frame my jaw, brushing a thumb over the stubble that had grown overnight.
“Oh, Matthew,” she said, her voice tracked with pain. “You know I can’t.”
“Do I know that?”
Her hands dropped, and she pushed me off so she could roll onto her side. She still faced me, though. That was a good sign.
“Is there someone else?” My heart pounded as I asked. But I had to. I probably knew the answer all along.
Nina’s guilt returned even more. “I—yes. I’m so sorry, Matthew, but yes, there is.”
Every cell in my body deflated. Fuck. Fuck.
I sighed. “Married, or just…”
Her shoulders hunched. “I’m married, yes.”
Fuck. I could practically hear Jamie’s laughter now. In a fucked up way, it was almost a relief to find that my instincts weren’t as messed up as I had thought. Almost.
“No ring?” I wondered.
Her glance shot to her purse on the armchair. “I took them off.”
“Out looking, were you?”
The sudden hurt in her eyes lanced through my chest.
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “That was uncalled for.”
“No, it wasn’t,” she said. “But I wasn’t. You don’t know everything about me, Matthew.”
“No,” I said, though I wasn’t in the mood to fight. “But I think I already knew that.”
We watched each other for a long time, both of us trying to figure the other one out. I could see it. She was wondering at my lack of shock. Wondering why, if I had known on some level, I had stayed anyway. Maybe she thought I was a predator. Hell, maybe I was.
She and her husband had probably had a fight. Or, considering what she had told me, she was just tired of the neglect. She removed her rings for one night, escaped to a new part of town, took a few hours to be someone other than herself.
The Scarlet Night (Rose Gold Book 0) Page 7