“Do I need to worry about the wolf taking control of my body or anything?”
“Not as a human, no. Except for the full moon, the only time you will shift is when you do so consciously. Now, when you do shift there will be a moment where the wolf is in control of your mind. To be honest, I don't remember my first time, but I'm told by new turns that it's disorienting and a little frightening. You're going to have to fight for control. After you do that, you'll be in control again. Sometimes there is a bit of an instinct rush and you feel your wolf trying to react, but you'll get used to holding at bay. You can, of course, give up control if you so choose.”
“Why would I do that?”
“I like to do it when I run. It's kind of relaxing because I can just kind of tune out and enjoy the run without actually thinking about it.”
“Where can we do it?” he asked nervously.
“Well, other than the fact we're stuck on this island until the hunter situation is dealt with, we can do it right here. We’ll go out back to shift and around the island.”
“People on Half Moon won't see us?”
“The island has been heavily fortified and modified, both for us to use during the full moon and to keep curious humans out. We’re safe here. Shall we?”
Brooks smiled, but I could tell he was a little unsure. “Yeah, why not?”
I let him out onto the back porch, then proceeded to undress. When I was naked I turned expectantly to him, to see he was still fully dressed. “Can’t shift clothed,” I told him.
He undressed as well and stood there, shuffling from foot to foot. I could tell he was looking at me, but trying not to look at me. “What now?”
“Now, I'm going to shift while you watch. Then it will be your turn. Just remember and try to imagine it happening to you. I spoke with Elliott, my brother’s true mate, and he says that he likes to picture a dog standing at the door, wanting to go outside. Letting it out is when he shifts. And when he takes control after the change he imagines telling it to sit and stay.”
“What do you do?”
“I just kind of... do. Elliott's only been a shifter for a few months. I've been one my entire life, it's just second nature now. Ready to give it a try?”
He nodded. I flashed a smile, then closed my eyes and began to change.
Chapter Nine
Brooks
Being a wolf was exhilarating. After I got used to the new body and the feeling of the wolf in my head, I took Carrick’s advice and let the wolf take over while we ran. It was as adrenaline inducing as any fast-paced game of hockey. Carrick led me on a chase around the island, dodging around, and over, and under everything in our path. It was like some sort of wild obstacle course or speedskating while nobody moved out of your way. I don't know how long we ran, but I could've kept going for hours. I vaguely recalled Nolan suggesting we rest. I felt better than ever. Who needed rest?
At last, Carrick stopped and turned back to me, wagging his tail. I was still getting used to the slew of emotions – not to mention the enhanced scents and sounds – from my wolf, but there was no mistaking the one it felt now. As I approached Carrick my wolf felt like it was overflowing with pure, unadulterated love. It seemed like everything Carrick promised about turning was true. I was young, my knee didn't hurt at all, and aside from the fact we were hiding from the hunter, everything seemed perfect. And while it was clear that my wolf was wholeheartedly in love with him, I was starting to realize I was, too. Maybe the only thing holding me back was myself. Every time I thought about the fact that I wasn't supposed to be gay I freaked out. But when I wasn't thinking about it, when I was just with him... it didn't matter. Maybe I was just thinking too hard. And maybe...
I wondered if maybe I should just let him claim me after all. I wasn't actually sure what that entailed. I mean, I was already a wolf which had been one of the two major factors in my decision. Now, all that was left was to decide whether or not to be mates. My wolf obviously thought we already were. Even as a wolf the little place at the base of my neck was practically throbbing. As I looked at Carrick and considered the love I was obviously feeling for him the little spot, just for a moment didn't hurt.
“How exactly does claiming work?”
Even though he was a wolf I could tell he was surprised by the question. Surprised and maybe a little pleased? I couldn't blame him, it sounded like every shifter dreamed of meeting their true mate. Why shouldn't he be hoping that I wanted to be claimed?
“We bite each other,” he said.
“So, I'd be claiming you as well?” That actually made it sound a little better. Being claimed sounded too much like he was in control. Something I wasn't entirely a fan of.
“I think the language is a little archaic, to be honest. It isn't really claiming, it's more like bonding. We're already true mates, but until we've marked each other it isn’t really official. I'll bite you, right where it hurts, and you bite me. It leaves a scar that shows all the world that our true mate is...”
“That you've been claimed,” I said.
“Well yeah, but more that you’re spoken for. If you don't like the word claimed. And it sort of cements the bond between us.”
“And then what?”
Impressively, he actually shrugged one of his wolf shoulders. “No pomp and circumstance or anything, we just bite each other and leave a scar that lets everyone know you're spoken for and then... well it stops hurting and... does… other things.”
“Other things?”
“Well, it helps us... connect. If we were apart, for example, once we've marked each other we’ll be able to sense if the other one is all right or in trouble or anything. And it sort of connects our emotions. Not really psychically or anything, but I'll have sort of an idea of if you're happy you're sad or...”
“That's interesting,” I said.
“And of course, there's the shared pleasure.” The words came out in a rush, like he didn’t want to remind me that we were sort of expected to have an intimate relationship, but wanted me to be aware anyway.
“Shared pleasure?” I asked. “What's that?”
“It's... pretty much exactly what it sounds like. If we were to be... you know. We'd be able to sense each other's pleasure and I'm told it sort of enhances the entire experience. Of course,” he added quickly, “even if I marked you, I know you're not really sure about that whole intimacy thing so...”
“If I wanted to let you mark me, when would we have to do it?”
“It could be anytime. Just as long as we are both wolves, so after sunset of course. But there's no big ceremony or anything involved we just need each other and that's that.”
“If I wanted to do it and just get it over with now, could we do that?”
“If you really wanted to.” He sounded eager, but I could tell he was hesitant too. Oddly enough, that's what sealed the deal for me. If he had jumped at the chance and done it without hesitation, I would have had second thoughts. But he was obviously being honest when he said he wanted my own happiness to come before his.
“Let’s go for it,” I said, “before I change my mind.” I was already a wolf, I had a feeling that sooner or later this whole claiming thing was going to come up anyway, so I might as well get it over with.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” Inside I could actually feel my wolf dancing around. As Carrick approached me the sense of love, and excitement was almost overpowering. There was also a distinct arousal. It felt more than a little strange to have an erection in wolf form, but there you go.
“It is just biting right? We're not supposed to have sex or anything?”
“It's just biting, I promise.”
Carrick drew up nose to nose with me, dark eyes piercing into mine, as if trying to make sure I really was ready to do this.
“How hard do I bite you? I don't want to hurt you,” I said.
“Hard enough to break the skin, it has to leave a scar. Don't worry, it won't hurt.”
I wasn
't quite sure about that, but I took him at his word. I rose to my feet, still feeling slightly awkward on four instead of two, then sniffed at his shoulder.
“Ready?” he asked me.
I nodded.
He lunged forward and sank his teeth into the juncture of my neck and shoulder. Even as I did the same, I realized he was right, it didn't hurt. In fact, the ache that had been there since we met briefly intensified and then vanished. A feeling that could only be described as complete pleasure filled me instead. There was something almost sexual about it and yet, it was more than that. It was like a contentment. Like some sort of cross between inner peace and post-orgasmic bliss. He released me and stepped back. I could swear that my inner wolf was howling with joy. The love for the man in front of me coursed through me, and I realized that it wasn't just from my wolf, but I was feeling it as well. Carrick's tongue lolled out and I was sure that he was smiling. In fact, I knew he was smiling, it wasn't nearly as powerful as what I felt from my inner wolf but there was an undeniable feeling of happiness that I was positive was emanating from Carrick.
“That's it,” Carrick said. “Do you want to run anymore? Or do you want to get back?” Somehow, I knew that he really wanted to keep running. “You are supposed to be getting rest after all,” he said reluctantly.
I felt just fine, but I probably shouldn't strain myself. “You’re supposed to rest, too,” I said. “We should probably get back.”
“Then, follow me.” He trotted away and I followed him at an easy pace back toward the house. As we neared the back porch I spotted what looked like a hot tub. It seemed like the perfect way to cap off an evening of running in the cold.
“Is that a hot tub?”
“Yeah, you want to get in?”
“Would your parents mind?”
Carrick snorted. “Not at all. My mother would say it's there to use.”
This time I focused on becoming a human instead of a wolf. It was just as strange and uncomfortable as my body warped and twisted. I wondered if I was doing it wrong, it seems to be taking a while and then, suddenly, I was human again. And I was standing around naked on a chilly October night.
I wrapped my arms around myself and rubbed them with my hands while Carrick changed.
“Hazard of not having clothes,” he chuckled as he quickly opened up the hot tub. Steam immediately began to rise from the water into the cool night air and it looked so inviting. He pressed a couple of buttons on the side and the jets roared to life, churning the water and filling it with foam and bubbles.
As he climbed in, I caught myself checking out his naked body. It didn't feel entirely normal, but didn’t feel strange this time either. I raised a hand to the base of my neck and felt the bite mark there. As he settled back into the water I could see the bite near his collarbone too, it looked red and sore but I knew that my own wasn't. In fact, the ache I had experienced there since the day we met was replaced by a pleasurable sort of tingle. So far, being claimed wasn't so bad after all.
With one more shiver I clambered up into the hot tub after him and sank down into the hot water. I groaned in delight as I sank down into the water up to my neck. The froth kicked up by the churning water made it impossible to see below the surface, but I was keenly aware of the fact that Carrick was naked.
It was far from the first time I had been naked in a hot tub with another guy. There were plenty of hockey practices where we all gathered in someone's hot tub, often in varying states of undress. But never bothered me the way Carrick did. Bothered wasn't the right word. The only thing bothering me about the fact he was naked was that I couldn't get my mind off it. I thought that maybe my attraction to him would wear off after I changed back into a human but there was no such luck. I could still feel the wolf in me, practically pacing with anticipation. I was sure that it was staring at him, and I was as aroused as I had ever been. I wanted sex and I wanted it with him.
I started going over the pros and cons of having sex in my head. I figured I'd quickly be able to talk myself out of the notion, but the pros list kind of kept piling up and the cons didn't. Pro: I was horny and it sounded like sex with a true mate would be incredible. Con: he was a guy. Pro: we had already fooled around once and I didn't regret it. Con: we were both guys. Pro: he was madly in love with me and I was pretty sure I felt same way. Con... I would get pregnant? I thought about that one and realized that it wasn't actually a bad thing. I always wanted children and the older I got, the more I just wrote it off as never happening. Aside from not being able to play hockey one of my biggest regrets was that I didn't have a family. It was part of why I distanced myself from all of my friends back home. I never had that many to begin with, but as they all got married and had kids our lifestyles changed and it started being a little harder to be around them. As it always just reminded me of what I didn't have. So, no, having a child was not actually a con. Having one with Carrick was a little... not at all what I had expected out of life. Especially considering that I was supposedly the one who would be carrying the child. But it wasn't a con. In fact, having a kid might even be a pro. Another pro, based on all the family pictures, was that his family certainly wouldn't be opposed to him being with another man. It looked like half of the family was made up of same-sex couples. I wondered if any of them had adopted or if they were all birthed by male omegas.
So, there I was with a growing list of pros and no cons. Just like with being claimed I asked myself, why not just get it over with? I felt like the longer I resisted my desire to have sex with him, the stronger it would grow. If I got it over with and did end up regretting it, well then I'd know. And if it ended up being great... well, it wasn't as if this was some sort of a drunken one-night stand. This was, according to Carrick, a preordained relationship. If he was to be believed, we were going to be madly in love with each other literally forever.
“You want to have sex?” One thing I did regret immediately was blurting it out like that. There were probably more romantic ways to go about it.
He looked stunned, then eager, and then a little bit unsure. “Really? You mean together?”
I laughed nervously. “I don't fully understand it,” I admitted, “but I can tell I'm falling in love with you. I’m awkwardly horny right now and I suppose I could take care of it myself… But I'm not sure what the point of fighting attraction is. I already did let you claim me so... nervous babbling isn't my thing but I suddenly see why some people do it.”
Carrick laughed. There was a kindness and warmth to the sound that just made me smile. My god, I really did love this man.
“Please don't rush into it on my account,” he said, further cementing my feelings for him. “You've been through a lot in the past couple of days. I mean, getting shot alone is one thing, but you've not only found out that shifters exist, you've been turned into one, and then claimed by one... I wouldn't blame you if you need more time.”
“I don't know what time will help,” I said. “I think this is one of those things that thinking about is going to get me nowhere. I should just do it.”
He looked at me, head slightly tilted and a slight frown creasing his brow. It made my heart flutter. He was so unbelievably handsome I honestly couldn't figure out why I had never found the man attractive before.
“If you're sure,” he said. “And if we start and you realize you're not into it, just stop me.”
I nodded and slid forward through the water toward him. I really wasn't sure what I was planning to do once I reached him. But, I swam up a little, put my legs on either side of his, and just plunked down in his lap. His dick was already as hard as a rock and it poked against me. With the heat of the water, it felt as if his dick was hot too. I could feel it pressing against me, enticing me. My own responded, growing even harder as it pushed insistently against his thigh. I swallowed nervously and then leaned forward to kiss him. It was explosive. His hands came up to the sides of my face, the tips of his fingers raking through my hair as he eagerly kissed me. That sealed it
. There was no more hesitation on my part. This felt good and it was right. I threw my arms around him.
It wasn't long before I noticed that it was really cold with half of my body exposed to the air, especially now that I was wet. I pushed him back a bit more, angling him until we were both more fully submerged. The bubbles roiled around us. All I could hear was the sound of the water churning as the rest of the world faded away. His hands ran up and down my body, as mine explored his. It wasn't like the fumbling, awkward handjob on the couch. This was something more. He brushed his fingers across the mark, sending a rush of ecstasy through me.
I could swear that he tasted more intense than he had before and every time I inhaled with my nose I was nearly overcome by his scent. I wondered if my sense of smell stronger now, even when I was human. The acrid odor of the chlorine in the hot tub was unpleasant, but nothing compared to his intoxicating scent. He ran a hand down my side, fingers tickling me under the water, until he reached my cock. His hand wrapped around it slowly, questioningly. For an answer, I pumped it into his hand, encouraging him. I moaned into his mouth as his hand tightened around me and he started stroking. He encouraged me to roll in the water, switching our positions. I resisted for a moment, not because I didn't want to, but because I didn't want to do it without a fight. I couldn't say why, but I didn't want to just meekly submit, I wanted to make him work for it. He growled, but the meaning behind it was as clear as if he had spoken. There were a hundred words all wrapped in the single sound. He wanted me to roll for him, he was annoyed that I wasn't, but it was turning him on too.
Carrick pulled away from the kiss and looked at me. I knew in that moment I loved him wholeheartedly and could have gotten lost in those eyes. I locked my legs around him and pulled us back together, putting my hand on the back of his head and forcing him back for a kiss. He chuckled against my lips and instead of kissing, bit me. I playfully bit him back, drawing his lower lip into my mouth and sucking as I bit it. Carrick tried to get me to roll again, so I bit him again, this time on the side of his neck. He rose up beneath me, taking advantage of my buoyancy in the water. I started to pull off of him to get my footing and the two of us tumbled.
Icing the Omega Page 10