by Leah Meers
"Sorry," I muttered and sank back down onto the couch. My thumb ended up caught between my teeth again as I lowered my gaze.
"Cody." He waited for me to look at him again. "I'm going to be fine. I promise." He disappeared into the bathroom, and I busied myself putting the rest of the pizza in the fridge before he came back.
The movie ended, and Gabe clicked off the TV before he pushed my leg to the side and cuddled against my chest. My arms wrapped around his shoulders as I gently stroked my fingers through his hair. We lay like that for several long moments while I soothed my palm up and down his back. Tension knotted in his muscles felt like it may never loosen, but I did my best. He sucked in a deep breath, blew it out slowly, and spoke.
"In my senior year of college, I was brutally assaulted on the way home from classes by three homophobic assholes. If the two other people didn't come along, I'm not sure they would have stopped." He blew out another shuddering breath and folded his hands under his chin.
"I stayed in the hospital for five days and finished my degree with one eye swollen shut, a concussion, and broken ribs. They got a few years in prison. I got PTSD. That's what the nightmares are about. In comparison, Chaz's little…" His voice broke, and he pushed farther into my arms.
"Oh shit, Gabe, baby. I'm so sorry that happened to you." The rage and sorrow I already didn't know what to do with because of Chaz blazed hotter through me. I pulled Gabe farther up my body so his head settled in the crook of my neck and my body enveloped his as much as possible. "I… I can't even… I don't know what to say. How could someone—"
Gabe turned his head and pressed his lips against mine. "If we're going to do this thing -- and I really, really want to, Cody – you need to know everything. There's nothing to fix. All you have to do is…" He swallowed hard as he looked away from my eyes for a moment. "This."
Our mouths met again, soft and searching but gentle. Even if the doctor allowed sex, it wasn't what Gabe needed right now. I stroked his back and kissed his lips, his swollen cheek, his forehead, and his hair when he laid back down over my heart. All I had to do was love him, and I wanted to do that more than I've ever wanted anything else.
Chapter Fifteen
Gabe
The first night after Chaz attacked me by the lake, I woke Cody up with my screams in the middle of the same old dream. He pulled me into his arms, wrapped himself around me, and muttered comforting words until I finally fell back to sleep somewhere near dawn. The second night, it happened all over again. The third was no better.
The morning of the fourth day found us cuddled on the couch with sugary coffee and takeout from the diner. Cody looked scared to leave me when he went to pick it up, and I pulled out every trick I had from years gone by to show him I was fine on my own. Until he walked back in half an hour later, though, I stayed wrapped up on the couch, propped sideways on several pillows to keep the weight off my horribly bruised rear, and tried not to stare at the door. I managed a few bites of pancake and half my coffee before giving up.
Instead of getting better, the tension built up and threatened every aspect of my life. Paul insisted Revere's was managing without me, but I wanted to get back in the DJ booth. Finn and Carter showed up with a casserole and a pie Finn baked from scratch. Emmitt called to tell me not to worry about rent if I had to cover medical bills, and even Whit texted to tell me he missed my unfunny jokes.
I felt like I was letting everyone down but couldn't shake the nerves long enough to get back to anything close to normalcy. Three times when Cody was out or still sleeping, I got close to calling Miriam for an emergency appointment but stopped myself for reasons I couldn't figure out.
Cody's phone buzzed, and he nudged me so he could reach it. One glance and his feet dropped off the coffee table as he bolted upright. "They got him." His phone clattered to the side table as he pulled me across his lap and planted a big kiss on my mouth. "Chaz is in custody. Hobbes wants you to come down for an official statement sometime today or tomorrow."
The headaches from the mild concussion were mostly gone, but the bruise around my eye and the one on my butt bloomed black and blue. I combed my hair, tied it back, and refused to look in the mirror. Facing the black eye and swelling reminded me too much of the much longer recovery time years earlier. I didn't want to deal with it.
I didn't want to deal with the police either, but there was no way I'd let Chaz get away with his hate. My lips found Cody's again before I pushed my face against his neck. "Can we do it now? Just get it over with?"
"Yeah, baby. Officer Hobbes said we could come down anytime." He gave me another gentle cuddle before getting up. "I'll get our shoes."
The next two hours passed in a blur of strange familiarity. Hobbes treated me a lot kinder than the brusque officers back in college, and he didn't even blink when Cody pushed the hate crime part of it. I wrote down the details about the attack at the camp, talked with Hobbes and another cop about the confrontation at the diner, and then they said they'd be in touch and let me go home.
By the time we walked out the front door of the station, I was limping from the pain in my backside. Plain wooden chairs were hell on a bruised butt. The molded front seat of the Mustang wasn't much better. Yet my mind felt lighter than it had since the assault, and the breath I took didn't get stuck in my throat.
Cody took my hand in the car before starting the engine. "You know…" His voice faltered, and he brought his other hand up to nibble on his thumb in that nervous way of his. "You know I said I'd just crash for a few days at your place, and I have money to get my own, so don't think it's about that, but maybe I could stay a few more. At least until he's behind bars." He let go of my hand and scrubbed his palm over his short hair. "I'd feel better if I could… I don't know… be on hand in case you…"
My eyes widened as what he said sunk into my brain. The conversation when he showed up the first night flew through my mind. He had said he wasn't asking to move in, just to stay until he found somewhere else. The thought of him leaving sent a chill up my spine. "Shut up, Cody." My snap made his eyes shoot wide open. I pulled his hand away from his mouth and wrapped my fingers around it. "Don't even think about moving out."
"Really?"
"Really. I want you there unless there's somewhere else you'd rather be."
He grinned. "Are you kidding?" He leaned across the seats, pushed a hand into my hair to grab my neck, and pulled me against his lips.
We hadn't done more than kiss and cuddle in the days since, and hunger for him sparked to life as fast as it ever did. The lingering pain of my bruised face and butt drifted away as his tongue slipped between my lips and tangled with mine. He tasted like coffee and maple syrup and Cody.
"We're gonna get arrested for lewd behavior in a minute," I murmured against his mouth and felt him smile.
"Let's go, then." The car rumbled to life as he flashed me a grin.
Maybe all the cops were busy dealing with my case or off fighting for justice in other parts of town. I was just thankful they weren't on any of the roads between the station and our apartment because Cody didn't let up on the gas the whole way home. By the time I limped up the two flights of stairs, the pain in my butt throbbed enough to put a damper on the lust.
Once the door closed and locked behind us, I turned to look into Cody's hungry eyes. "I think I need to lie down. My butt is killing me."
"I think you need to lie down, too," he said. In one swift movement, he scooped me up bridal style and carried me to the bed. He laid me down as gentle as a newborn kitten on my less bruised side, pulled off my shoes and my jeans before shucking his own shoes and climbing in beside me and pulling the blanket over our legs.
The hazel starbursts in the center of his blue-green eyes almost disappeared as his pupils widened. His gaze met mine before shifting to take in my mouth and drift lower down my neck and t-shirt. He had been so careful since the attack, so caring and comforting without touching me the way I knew he wanted to. I wondered if he was sc
ared I'd break.
I drew my shirt off and tossed it off the end of the bed. He followed the path my hand took over my chest, around the piercing in my left nipple, and down toward the waistband of the loosest boxers I owned. They wouldn't inspire any kind of passion, but with the bruising, a good hard fuck was out of the question, anyway.
"How are you feeling?" Cody's voice blew sweet breath across my face.
"Horny." I flicked a nail across my piercing and caught my breath as a surge of pleasure tingled straight down through me.
His own sharp gasp only made my heart pump faster. In a second, his arms wrapped around me and his mouth claimed mine. He put every ounce of care into his kisses, every spark of want for me, and I wanted him back with a hunger that I couldn't push aside again. His broad hands stroked everywhere but where bruises decorated my skin, callouses from his work at camp rough in all the best ways. Fingertips traced the lines of my tattoos before skating down to dip under the waistband of my boxers.
"Take them off," I whispered as I reached for his shirt and yanked it over his head. "Yours, too. I need to feel you."
With one hand on my thigh, he took the time to stuff pillows behind my back to prevent me from rolling onto my ass and interrupting the pleasure with pain. The grin on my face had no chance to fade, and I swear I could feel my heart swelling.
"Fuck, Cody," I murmured as he finished the task and laid back down, stretched out along my body. "You take such good care of me."
"That's the plan," he said with a wicked grin. He ducked his head and sucked a nipple into his mouth, teeth clacking against the steel barbell and tongue teasing it back and forth the way he knew drove me wild.
Time stretched out and got lost in the pleasure of his hands and mouth on my body. Every time I tried to bend or shift to get my mouth or hands on another part of him, he gently held me still and kissed me until I melted in his arms. When he finally worked his way down every inch of my skin and flicked his tongue across my frenum piercing, I couldn't take it anymore.
"Turn around and get your dick up here," I snapped. "If I don't get something to taste, I'm going to go insane." One hand found his nipple and tweaked it hard.
He jumped and laughed, but scrambled around on the bed until his thick cock bobbed in front of my face. I didn't have a chance to get my mouth on him before he sucked the head of mine into his mouth and swirled his tongue into the slit.
I cried out and tensed up, but the quick flash of ache in my bruised rear brought me down again quickly. "Fuck. Don't tease me. It hurts my butt." When he nodded with his lips still around my tip and then sunk down to the root in one smooth movement, all I could do was surge forward and latch onto him to do the same.
We moved together in a rhythm all our own. It naturally built and ebbed, flowed like music between us as we both tasted, licked, sucked, and swallowed each other to completion. I shot first, deep in the back of his throat, and the taste of me seemed to trigger his own orgasm, and he shot into my mouth.
I lay there hoping my bruise would heal faster so I could feel his release inside me again. Cody turned around again to pull me against his broad chest and wrap his magnificent arms around me. We lay there, not speaking and not needing to until my stomach grumbled.
"We missed lunch," I said. "You taste good, but it's not very filling."
He laughed against my shoulder before rolling out of bed and grabbing his boxer briefs and handing me mine. "Come on, baby. How about the rest of that chicken thing Finn made?"
I followed him to the kitchen and leaned against the island to watch him grab the tray out of the fridge. The domesticity of him cooking for me, both of us in our underwear, struck a chord deep inside me. The brief conversation outside the police station came back to me. Cody was staying. We were living together. When he caught me smiling, he flashed his own back, and I knew he understood without saying a word.
~ ~ ~
Cody held my hand as we sat side-by-side on the couch in front of the laptop. I had finally contacted Dr. Russo's office and requested an appointment sooner than the four weeks left in our usual wait schedule.
"Miriam, this is my boyfriend, Cody, whom I told you about."
She smiled and lifted her eyebrows. "Cody, it's so nice to meet you. Gabe has said many things about you."
I nudged Cody's shoulder and stage whispered so Miriam could still hear. "But she can't tell you what they are due to doctor-patient confidentiality."
Cody chuckled, but the tightness in his shoulders and how he kept pulling his thumb away from his teeth revealed his nerves. I guess meeting your boyfriend's psychiatrist could do that to a guy.
She turned back to me, and her smile faded. "I read the message you sent about the recent assault, Gabe. I am so glad they caught him quickly. I understand your desire for more frequent sessions." She folded her hands on her desk and put on her serious face. "We've talked about you finding a local doctor for a while now, and I think it's time to take that step."
A lump formed in my throat, and my fingers tightened on Cody's hand. "But I know you. You've helped me so much."
"I know it's difficult to make this type of change, but I believe regular, in-person sessions would benefit you more than infrequent, virtual ones." She sat behind her desk and watched me with her usual calm expression. When I nodded, she clicked open a file on her computer to the side of her desk. "I've already contacted a trusted colleague of mine, Dr. Rafael Torres. His office is just about twenty minutes from you, and he has time in his schedule for all the appointments you need. Will you give him a try?"
I shrugged and glanced at Cody, who still looked nervous but offered me a warm smile. He squeezed my hand again. "Yeah," I said at last and wound a chunk of hair around my fingers. "I'll try."
"There are other options, but I think Dr. Torres will work out just fine." She flashed another warm smile at Cody. "It was very good to meet you, Cody. I'm glad to see Gabe has someone like you to stand by his side."
We logged out of the chat session, and I closed my laptop before pushing into Cody's arms.
"I will, you know," Cody said and skated his lips across my forehead.
"Will what?" Our eyes met, and I got lost in that blue-green gaze.
"Stand by your side," he said with a quick shrug. "For as long as you want me to."
Chapter Sixteen
Cody
Holly zoomed around the corner in the utility vehicle toward where I was painting the trim around the last hut's new door frame. The first large group had booked four of the shelters for the following weekend. Leaf peepers, Holly called them with a grin, coming to peep all our colorful leaves.
She waved her arm as she rolled to a stop next to me. "Leave that painting for Jamal. It's two o'clock already! You need to get cleaned up and to court."
I dropped the brush into the paint tray and swung into the UTV. "I lost track of time." My phone told me I only had an hour and a half to get home, get clean, pick up Gabe at Revere's, and get to the courthouse for Chaz's sentencing. Gabe's quiet insistence, which I didn't believe for a moment, that I had work and didn't really need to come with him echoed in my head. No way. If I had my way, he wouldn't have to stand on his own for anything ever again.
Holly babbled about the work left to do before the leaf peepers showed up for the few minutes it took to get to my car. "Don't worry, Cody," she called when I jumped out. "That judge will do what's right."
I hoped so. Simple assault and battery didn't require a big lawyer battle or jury trial. Chaz had pled down to a lesser charge, of course, and there was really no reason to expect the judge to deny it. If I had my way, he would get life for daring to even think about touching my man, but I learned to manage my temper for Gabe's sake. He just wanted it all over with. So did I. Maybe his nightmares would stop then.
~ ~ ~
Gabe's bruises had healed in the weeks since the assault. He saw Dr. Torres every Tuesday and Thursday on his days off, said he was easy to talk to, and his nightmares
had gone from every night to once a week, but the tension in his body made me grip his hand harder as we pushed into the lobby of the court building. Our footsteps echoed across the marble tiles. We turned toward the bored security guard slumped on a stool next to the metal detector, and Gabe's grasp suddenly squeezed vice tight.
He yanked me closer and breathed into my ear. "I forgot to take my piercings off. I didn't think."
I choked back a laugh that earned me a glare, but I just pressed my lips to his cheek and whispered back. "Well, that should liven things up for him." I jerked my chin at the guard, who glanced over at us with barely a spark of interest.
Gabe let go of my hand, laid his phone and keys in the basket, and walked through without setting off any alarms. I did the same and grinned at his look of relief. At least it was something to distract him from the worry about Chaz somehow getting cleared of all charges. As crazy as it sounded, the same fear buzzed through me. I couldn't be the scared one, though. I wrapped an arm around Gabe's shoulders and held him tight to my side.
We rounded the corner into the hall outside the courtroom, and the idea of handling this alone fled my mind. Finn, Max, Emmitt, and Paul stood halfway down the corridor chatting in low rumbles. They turned as we approached, and Emmitt stepped forward to give Gabe a quick hug.
"Hi. I didn't expect anyone here." Gabe's gaze darted to me as if I had something to do with it.
"Are you kidding?" Emmitt said. "We're your friends. Where else would we be?"
"Carter wanted to be here, but he couldn't get out his meetings," Finn added.
Gabe pushed against my side, and I squeezed him tighter. "Thanks, guys."
We tried to make small talk until the bailiff stuck her head out of the door and called us in. The group settled along the bench a few rows back, with Gabe sandwiched between me and Emmitt. His fingers trembled against mine, and I wished I could drag him into my lap and cuddle him close.