by Lucia Ashta
Sneaky fucking pendant.
Pop, pop, crackled through the cacophony of the classroom, delivering Fianna and Nessa directly in front of me.
While the tiny fairies hovered in place, taking in their surroundings, trying to figure out what had set off the alarm I presumed, Marcy June stepped into my line of vision.
“Jas,” she barked. “What the fuck is going on?”
I swallowed and absently ran a hand over Chubster’s back to keep him from squirming too much. His sharp horn kept grazing my collarbone.
“I was hoping you’d be able to answer that exact question.”
“How would I know? You’re the one who just showed up in my class like a friggin’ magic act. And what the hell is that? Is that a…?”
“A pandacorn? Yeah, I’m pretty sure.”
“And where’d you get a pandacorn? They never come to our part of the world. They’re highly reclusive, and always keep to their slice of the fae forest…”
“Oops. Not anymore.”
“What happened to you? Everyone’s been worried. They’re all looking for you. How’d you—?” She growled and faced the other students. “Quiet!” she hollered, and everyone, including Fianna and Nessa, piped down immediately. “I can’t think straight with all the racket you’re making.”
She brought hands to either hip and glared at the corners of the room, though the alarms were invisible—part of the Academy Spell. “Fianna, Nessa, shut that off before I lose my damn mind to the noise, will you?”
Nessa flew to Marcy June. “I’ll see to it,” she said, bobbing her blue-haired head. In a blink, she popped right back out of sight. Within twenty seconds, the alarm stopped, leaving an echo ringing in its wake.
Marcy June sighed loudly. “That’s much better.”
“What triggered the alarm?” I asked, knowing full well it had to be something I’d done. There was so much wrong with this picture that I couldn’t decide what of all that I’d done had caused the Academy Spell to sound its warning.
Fianna zoomed forward while the students’ conversation resumed behind her, settling into a steady buzz of gossip. Like Marcy June, she snapped her hands to her tiny hips, her wings an angry blur behind her.
“From the looks of things, that pandacorn set off the alarm. He hasn’t been invited to the academy. Which means you somehow brought him here without authorization from Sir Lancelot.”
She scowled at me.
Yeah, I wasn’t having any of that.
“I didn’t do anything … at least not on purpose. Something crazy is going on here and I’m just along for the ride. I didn’t mean to land in … pandacorn land or whatever the hell it might be called. I never meant to go anywhere!” I blinked furiously to keep my frustration at bay. I was so not going to cry in front of any of them.
“And it can’t have just been me bringing the cub here,” I added after a thought occurred to me. “When those two dragons and their riders came here in my first term, no one had invited them and the alarm didn’t go off.”
“Yes, well, after all the trouble your class has caused, Sir Lancelot and the great wizards decided to tighten up the security of the school even further. Now no one is allowed in or out without permission from the Academy Spell, not even if they fly in from the skies. Anyone who breaks that rule will set off the alarm. You keep that in mind.” The fairy with the shockingly red hair actually pointed two fingers at her eyes before turning those fingers at me. “I’ll be watching you.”
“Well, then, while you’re doing that, maybe you can tell me how the hell I got here and how come I was able to bring this cub here without ‘permission.’ I thought portaling wasn’t even allowed on school grounds.”
Fianna bit her lip and snuck a glance at Marcy June. “That’s true,” Fianna said. “Portaling is strictly forbidden anywhere on school grounds, and after last term, Albacus and Mordecai made sure there was no way that specific clause of the spell could be circumvented again. No dark sorcerer can access the Academy Spell to mess with it.”
Yet Fianna still nibbled on her crimson lip.
“Jas didn’t portal here,” Marcy June said, ignoring the rising volume of the students seated further up the room while she focused on me.
She was trying to figure me out. Go for it!
“She just … appeared. Out of nowhere. I’ve never seen anything quite like it,” Marcy June added.
Nessa appeared back in the classroom with a pop that made my ears ring some more. “I’ve notified Sir Lancelot that Jasmine”—I hissed—“that, ah, Jazz has been found. He’s calling off the search.”
“Good job, Ness,” Fianna said, and the little blue fairy beamed.
“Tell us everything that happened,” Marcy June ordered, before holding a hand up. “Hold up.” She faced the others and bellowed, “Class was almost over anyhow. Class dismissed! Be ready to spar tomorrow. We’ll be working on how to attack mid-shift so as to take advantage of shapeshifters who don’t have enough magic to avoid the crackling bones stage. Be ready!”
The mumblings grew louder as the students gathered their things and sped to the front of the room. Every single person there, including Tracy, Stacy, and Swan, slowed to a shuffle as they passed the pandacorn cub before finally exiting the room. Chubster ate up all the oohs and aahs like the cute little bear cub he was, giggling and cooing until even the Bitchy Bunch couldn’t resist trying to give him a scratch behind the round ears, and Marcy June, who was as ferocious as they came, perched on the desk next to me so she could pet the cub.
Fianna was the only one to peer at the round ball of fluff with ultimate suspicion, and though I could tell Nessa wanted to dive into that thick fur, she pretended not to trust him too—for her cousin’s sake. Nessa narrowed her eyes at the cub, but her eager smile betrayed her pretense, making me swallow a chuckle.
My life had gone from a little nuts to cuckoo with whipped cream and a cherry on top.
As footfalls pounded down the hall, I unfurled myself from the desk and stood next to it, gripping the cub close to my chest.
Ky was the first to barrel through the open doorway to the classroom, eyes frantic before landing on me, sweeping up and down my body. I watched the tension ease from his shoulders as he must have concluded that I was all right.
Adalia, Rina, and Wren swept into the room next. They elbowed past Ky to reach me. Boone, Leo, and Dave were right on their heels, effectively pushing Ky to the back of the bunch.
“You need to stop freaking me out, roomie,” Adalia scolded, shocking me when she sounded like she’d actually been concerned. Adalia never worried. The fairy with the perma-smile was always cool and happy.
Her brow scrunched into new lines and I couldn’t stop my grin from making an appearance.
She squinted at me. “What are you grinning at? It’d better not be how all of us worried like crazy the entire time you were gone.”
Her peppy voice was intoned into a low grumble, and it made me chuckle.
“Jasmine,” she growled, and I narrowed my eyes right back at her.
“It’s Jas to you, roomie.”
Adalia growled some more and snapped. She lunged at me, hands out and ready to grapple, shocking the shit out of me so intensely that I didn’t react like I normally would have. Instead of tossing Chubster to the side so I could properly defend myself from the crazed fairy, I lifted him into the air like he was a prize.
Adalia ground to a halt, Rina and Wren’s arms tangled in hers, pulling her back.
“Adalia!” Wren whispered, properly aghast. “What’s gotten into you? Are you sick or something?”
“You dare joke right now?” Adalia accused, her words thrown at me like a dart. They hit their target and I lowered the cub. “We had no idea if we’d ever see you again.”
I flicked a glance at Ky. The anguish tightening his features suggested he might have feared the same. A quick scan of all my friends confirmed I’d left them in a panicked frenzy.
Orangesicle ran into the room, takin
g in the scene quickly, before cutting a path directly to me. “Did you find my woman?” he asked, dispensing with the bullshit.
“I did. Along with a bunch of others. They were in the middle of some secret meeting.”
“They’re still in the middle of this, uh, secret meeting,” Nessa started, darting cautious looks at Fianna. No doubt Fianna had given her an earful about her deplorable secret-keeping skills. “But we made Sir Lancelot aware of your disappearance, Jas, so I had to update him that you’d returned safely.”
A part of me wanted to ask if Ugly Stick was still in the thick of things, but a bigger part of me preferred to get busy forgetting the nasty half-goat man. He shouldn’t have to be any of my business. I had enough of my own to bloody well sort.
“Is Sadie safe?” Orangesicle persisted.
“She looked it,” I answered right away, moved by the evident care in the troll’s pupil-less eyes. The grumpy pygmy troll had actually fallen for the ferocious Enforcer. “She had my back when an ugly goat man gave me shit.”
So much for forgetting about Ugly Stick. I’d never been great at letting grudges go.
“Sadie got right up in his face,” I continued, “and ordered him to back down.”
Orangesicle’s little old man face spread into a brilliant grin, softening all the tight lines that had previously afflicted him. “That’s my woman. She was fierce, huh?”
“So fierce,” I said, grimacing. I had to be careful not to go down the road of Sadie worshipping with the troll.
“So where’s the fork?” he asked, face right back into scrunched wrinkles—this time of suspicion.
“What fork?” I asked.
“The fork you stole from the dining hall. You know the rules. No item that is the property of the dining hall may be removed from it under any circumstances short of battle at the school. And in that instance, the item taken from the dining hall must be used as a weapon in said battle.”
Leo stepped forward. “Surely you can excuse her taking the fork under these special circumstances.”
“I see no special circumstances,” the troll quipped, surly as ever.
Ky moved Rina aside, and stepped next to me: “She disappeared in the middle of a bite! That’s as much of an exception to the rules as you’ll ever get.”
But the troll was already shaking his head. “The rules clearly state that an exception applies only in time of battle. We are not at war. There are no battles.” He spread his stubby arms out to the side like a showman. “I see only peace.”
I spluttered for a few seconds. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”
Affronted, he pulled his chin back. “I most certainly am not. You owe me a fork.”
I took a step toward him, and Ky moved with me. “I’ll give you a fork all right. Straight up your round little behind you like to wave around at everyone.”
The troll blinked, giving me a moment to hear what I’d just said to him.
I laughed. And though the laugh started as something small, it soon lost all semblance of control.
I howled and threw my head back, until I had to clutch at my stomach around Chubster because it hurt from laughing so hard. Tears streamed down my cheeks, and I swiped beneath my eyes to contain my makeup.
Chubster squirmed in my hold, and when I laughed more as I took in the extremely bizarre creature in my arms, I nearly impaled his horn straight up my chin and into my head.
Yep, I was going to have to be real careful around that ice pick he wielded on his cute head.
When I noticed I was the only one laughing, and the pygmy troll’s face was red from watching me lose my shit at his expense, I lost it even more.
Finally, everyone joined in. Even Marcy June laughed so hard she was wheezing, and Fianna and Nessa’s laughter tinkled like wind chimes. Boone was practically guffawing, and Ky’s hand shook from his mirth as his warm palm settled on my lower back.
Unwilling to give up, Orangesicle proclaimed, “You owe me a fork, I say.” But I caught the glimpse of a smile on his little geriatric face before he spun, gave us a good view of the moon retreating, and sauntered out the door.
“Do you think he’s serious?” I got out around a gasp for air.
“Totally,” Adalia answered, her eyes twinkling with glee and mischief.
“Then I’ll add owing a troll a fork I tossed in the Golden Forest to my list of crazy-ass things to do.”
With that, we began to settle down, and the second I was more or less composed, Fianna commanded me to tell them everything. So I did, as best as I could figure it out, from start to finish. This time, though I still wasn’t sure I wanted to, I mentioned that I suspected my pendant was responsible for my vanishing acts.
“So?” I asked Fianna as soon as I’d finished my recounting. “What’s next? What’s happening to me? Please tell me you know.”
But the diminutive fairy with enough sass to allow me to all but forget her size was already shaking her head. “I don’t know what’s going on. Do you, Nessa? Nessa reads more than anyone I know. If anyone will have an idea, she will.”
All of us turned our attention to the little fairy with the blue hair and clothes.
“Sorry, Jas, but I don’t know. I will, however, be happy to research the situation.”
I nodded, deflating quickly, and turned to Marcy June. Before I could even get the question out, she was shaking her head. “I think this is a matter for Albacus and Mordecai. I’ve never heard of something like this. Any idea when they’ll be back?” she asked the little fairies.
“Once the secret meeting is over,” Nessa said. “And from what I saw, that might still be a while. They didn’t look like they’d reached any agreements yet.”
“About what?” I asked, because hey, can ya blame a girl for trying?
Nessa opened her mouth.
“Don’t you dare answer that question, Ness,” Fianna warned, and Nessa blushed, chagrined.
“Okay. So we can’t call on the wizards, or Sir Lancelot either I take it?” Marcy June asked the fairies again. They shook their heads.
“All right,” Marcy June resumed. “Until the headmaster and wizards get back, our best bet might be Hettie Hapblomb. It sounds like we might be dealing with a powerful magical object, and of everyone left at the school right now, she probably knows the most about them.”
Rina grunted her distaste. Professor Hapblomb wasn’t what anyone would call friendly. She might not even be able to find friendly with a map and a compass.
Still, if she might help, I’d give it a shot.
“I’m in class with her next,” I said.
“Good,” Marcy June said. “Then I’ll go with you.”
“We’re all in class with her,” Adalia added.
“Excellent.” Marcy June grinned. “I can’t wait to see her try to figure out this mess.”
“Speaking of messes…” I held up the cub, and when I did, he moved his chubby little legs in the air like he was swimming. “What do I do with him?”
Fianna crossed her arms in front of her chest. “You brought him here. For now, that makes him your responsibility.”
“But—”
“But nothing. Until further notice, he’s your problem, and what we say in Sir Lancelot’s absence goes.”
“That’s right,” Nessa said, beaming at their role as his administrative assistants and messengers.
“I can’t possibly take care of a pandacorn,” I tried again.
“This isn’t up for debate,” Fianna said, and Nessa nodded like a suck-up next to her. “Not up for debate,” she parroted.
“Don’t worry, roomie,” Adalia said. “I’ll help you with him. He’s so cute!”
Chubster cooed like he understood exactly what my fairy friend said. He twitched his nose at her—quite adorably.
Groaning, I scowled down at him.
“He is super cute,” a deep, masculine voice said, and I shot a look at Boone, of all people. But the brawny werewolf was gaga-eyed over the
chubby pandacorn baby in my arms. Dave, next to him, leaned forward, trying to get a better look at the cub. His eyes were moony too.
“Jeez,” I grumbled, but had nothing else to say. I wasn’t about to argue his cuteness away. That was a losing argument; even I knew that.
When everyone’s attention eagerly settled on the squirming mass of fur in my arms, blinking wide innocent eyes at the lot of them while making baby squealing noises sure to melt the hardest of hearts, I knew I had to make my move.
“So what am I supposed to do about my disappearing until Sir Lancelot and the wizards return?” I asked Fianna, the only one who didn’t seem like Chubster had her wrapped around his little chubby paw.
“Until then, you wait. Consult with Professor Hapblomb, but otherwise go about your life as normal. Attend classes, study, and be good.” Fianna pointed a tiny finger at me. “None of the hanky-panky, got it?”
“Got it,” I said. But let’s be real, I wasn’t about to hold back because a pint-sized fairy told me to. If Ky pounced on me, I sure as hell was going to let him.
“So you just expect me to pretend nothing weird is happening?” I confirmed. “Just go to classes and stuff?”
“That’s right. Now, Nessa and I have important business to attend to. We’ll be giving Sir Lancelot an update on your situation.”
“Well, I guess that’s something,” I muttered.
“That’s something indeed,” Nessa gushed. “There’s no one wiser than our headmaster.” She nodded her tiny head so peppily that I didn’t want to crush her fangirling. I nodded back, a simpering smile on my face.
The moment the fairies popped out of the room, I let the fake smile drop.
“Come on,” Marcy June said, scratching Chubster behind the ears. “Let’s go. I want to catch Hettie before her next class starts. She might not want to discuss the details of your situation in front of the others.”
Seemed smart enough.
I trailed her and my friends out of the classroom. Maybe taking care of Chubster wouldn’t be so bad. I was pretty sure I could pawn him off on anyone, even Marcy June. From everyone’s reactions so far, I suspected I’d have a slew of willing cubsitters.
Time when my friends were preoccupied with something else meant time during which I could squirrel Ky away from them.