“But we don’t want you to live in different houses. We want you guys to live in the same house, like we did before,” Jocelyn said.
“We can’t do that anymore. It wouldn’t make me or Mommy happy, but it doesn’t affect how we feel about you guys.” I kissed them both again. “I love you two more than anything. Don’t you ever forget that.”
“Love you too, Daddy,” they said in unison, giving me a big hug.
“All right. Daddy has to go—”
“No, don’t leave us,” Jaclyn said.
Both of the girls held on to my legs.
“Don’t leave, Daddy,” Jocelyn said.
I held back my own tears. I thought about what my pops had said a while back about being strong for me when my mom died. I couldn’t cry in front of them. I need to be strong and assure them that everything would be fine. I sighed, took a deep breath, and gently pried their hands from my legs. “Everything will be fine. I’m going to see you guys on Sunday, I promise.”
They calmed down somewhat, but they were still crying.
I walked out of the room before I lost it myself.
Karen followed me as I went from room to room.
“You’re a fucking asshole, you know that?” Karen yelled.
“You’re always so busy pointing out my negative shit, but you never take responsibility for the shit you do. You did this to us. You broke our vows. I loved you. You only cared about me. Our relationship was never even, and now I’m ending it while I still have my sanity intact,” I said.
“If you go through with this divorce, I swear I’ll crush you.”
“There’s the vindictive, manipulative Karen I know. It’s good to see her again. You just proved my point. After all you’ve done to me, you’re still playing the victim. Do what you feel you need to do, Karen.”
“I hate you.” The look of remorse on Karen’s face told me that those words had slipped out, and that she regretted it.
“See? Anger makes the truth come out. I believe you,” I told her.
“I didn’t mean that.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t the man you needed in our marriage. This divorce will correct the problem.”
I brought the rest of my boxes into the living room. I needed Lou and Will to help me with some furniture.
“Where’s Will?” I asked Lou.
“Do I really need to tell you? He’s ‘talking’ with Chloe in her car,” Will answered with a chuckle.
I walked outside to get him. When I looked in Chloe’s car, they were tonguing each other down, and he was fingering her. They jumped when I knocked on the window. Chloe rolled down the passenger window.
“Don’t touch my fucking car!” Chloe yelled.
I ignored her and looked at Will. “Come on, man. I didn’t bring you out here to fuck around. I brought you here to help.”
Will rolled down his window. “Give me ten minutes. I got some things I need to tell Chloe.”
I sighed and walked back into the house.
“Will is going to finish up his talk with Chloe. He’s coming in ten minutes,” I told Lou.
“You sure about that, brother?” Lou asked.
“Yeah. Why?”
“Because they just pulled off.”
I sucked my teeth and shook my head. “Whatever. Help me lift some of this stuff into the truck.”
My argument with Karen today showed me I was doing the right thing by going through with the divorce. There was no point being with someone who not only didn’t respect me but also hated me.
Chris
Pops’s phone had been ringing almost nonstop. He had scheduled lots of home improvement jobs, and his clients were calling to confirm that he would be doing the work. For a retired man, his side business had been booming. I saved the messages and planned on dedicating an entire day to calling all his clients and canceling the jobs.
“Why don’t you take on the work? You did these jobs with him your whole life. It’s a great way to hold on to a piece of him by continuing his work and keeping his home improvement business,” Nadine said as we sat at the kitchen table at my house.
I thought about it. There were some risks, but her suggestion wasn’t too crazy. There were pros and cons, but it could be done.
“It’s a big risk. I’d need a lot of help doing everything,” I replied.
“You could use all the men your father used. Plus . . . I’d help you.”
I kissed her.
Nadine has been by my side every day since our trip around the city. She was helpful with my kids, she uplifted me, and simply put, she made me happy.
Nadine’s best friends, LaTesha and Jasmine, met us at my house later that day. Nadine had planned an event that was supposed to be a surprise for me, and we were all going together in one car.
“So, you’re the ‘perfect guy’ that’s been stealing all Nadine’s time,” LaTesha said as Nadine made the introductions.
“I’m not perfect, but I do cherish every minute I spend with her . . .” Then I paused and looked at Nadine. “You were talking about me, right?”
She punched my arm.
I laughed. “I just had to make sure,” I said.
“Um, she has good taste. You got a brother?” Jasmine asked.
“Nah, no brother, but my friend Lou is single.”
I knew she was Lou’s type. She was mixed, half Asian and half black, and Lou loved the exotic types. She had almond-shaped eyes and soft Asian facial features, but her body was all sister. She had shapely hips and a round ass.
“You might have to set that up, then,” Jasmine said and smiled.
“Screw this heifer. She gets enough men. I’m the one in need,” LaTesha laughed.
LaTesha was gorgeous. She had a butterscotch complexion and chestnut eyes. Her breasts were huge. It was hard not to stare at them.
“My friend Will is single too,” I revealed. “I’ll invite them over one night, and we can let fate do its thing.”
“I knew I would like him, Nae,” Jasmine told Nadine.
“So where are we headed?” I asked.
“Baby, it’s a surprise,” Nadine said. “Everybody ready to go?”
We left the house and piled into Nadine’s car. Twenty minutes later we arrived at a dance studio in Brooklyn.
“Brooklyn Pole Dance?” I said, reading the sign on the building.
“Yup. I’m taking you to my pole-dancing class,” Nadine said.
I shook my head. “I’m going to look like a total perv in there.”
“Don’t worry, baby. I asked all the other girls, and the teacher said it was cool. You’ll be our audience.”
I laughed. “You’re such a freak!” I said, chuckling.
“And you know this, man!” Nadine said.
The class was amazing. I tried my hardest not to booty watch, but I lost the battle. At the end of the class, Nadine’s teacher, Mrs. Green, had Nadine dance for me.
“All right, ladies. Nadine is going to show Mr. Davis here what she’s learned,” Mrs. Green announced. “Do you think he’s ready?”
“No!” the class shouted.
I laughed.
Mrs. Green pushed a chair close to the pole. “Have a seat, Mr. Davis,” she said.
LaTesha played Usher’s “I Don’t Mind” on the sound system. Nadine stood near the pole and swayed her hips seductively to the beat. She wiggled her ass and flicked her tongue at me. I looked over at LaTesha and Jasmine; they were cracking up. Nadine slowly approached the brass pole, wrapped her leg around it, and twirled. I had to admit, she was really good at pole dancing. She did so many tricks, I wondered if she stripped on the side. At one point, Nadine went down into a squat, with the pole between her thighs, and then dropped down into a split. By the end of her dance, I had to cross my legs to hide my hard-on.
The class gave her enthusiastic applause.
Nadine kissed me and said, “So I see you liked it.”
“How do you know that?”
“If you unc
ross your legs, I’ll have to fight off every girl in this room.” She leaned forward and kissed me again as we laughed.
I loved that she was spontaneous and outgoing. She’d seen me at my worst, so it was easy for me to be myself around her. We hung out with her friends a lot after that, but we also had our date nights. She even went to car shows with me, and I went to pottery and jewelry-making classes with her. Nadine was down for whatever and enjoyed being with me no matter what activity we did. Besides my kids, she was the best thing in my life.
She wasn’t like Karen; I didn’t feel like I had to work hard to make her happy.
* * *
“Yo, Chris. Your girl here is a cheater,” Lou yelled.
“Oh stop. You need to step your game up. Now, come on and take this ass whupping!” Nadine joked.
We were at my place. Nadine had challenged Lou to a game of NBA 2K on my PlayStation and had destroyed him.
“Damn! How’d you get beat like that?” Will asked.
“Shut up!” Lou pouted.
We laughed at him.
“Aw, don’t be mad,” Nadine said, hugging him.
Lou smiled.
“Your girl is going to fit in just fine hanging out with us,” Will said, slapping his hand on my shoulder.
Karen had the kids, so I had invited Nadine over to my place to hang out with my boys and me. I had known by the look on their faces when they saw her at Pops’s funeral that they thought she was sexy. I was even happier when they got to know her. She laughed with them, talked sports, and we all had fun together. Karen’s friends had never been too fond of me, and my friends had never been fond of her. So it felt good to finally have a woman in my life that my friends approved of.
“Chris, Nadine is all that. You did good with that, kid,” Will said after Nadine had gone home. We were huddled around my kitchen table.
Lou nodded in agreement. “Oh, absolutely,” he said.
I shifted in my chair. “I’m feeling her a lot. We have a good time whenever we’re out. I’m happy that for once you guys like who I’m dating, but I don’t know what the future holds for us. All women start off great. I worry she’ll turn into another Karen once she’s comfortable.”
“I’m going to tell you a story,” Will said.
“Oh God, here we go,” I sighed.
Will ignored me and launched into his story. “I used to have this Honda Civic, right? I spent crazy money trying to turn it into a beast on the road.”
I was confused about where he was going with this story.
He went on. “The car was cool after all the upgrades, but it was still a Honda. Nothing could change that. After having it for a while, I understood what I wanted from a car, and bought my BMW. My Beamer performs the way I want and has everything I want, without me having to change things about it. Eventually, I sold my Civic, and I’ve been happy sticking with my Beamer ever since.”
“Brother, you lost me,” I laughed.
“What I’m saying is Karen is your Honda Civic, and Nadine is your BMW. Your first were with Karen, and you tried to help her get her shit together, but she is who she is. She can’t change that. Nadine has everything you want.”
I nodded. “You’re right . . . but did you just compare women to cars?”
“You got what I meant, so that’s all that matters.”
We laughed at his silliness, but he did have a point.
* * *
“Can you toss me that wrench over there?” I asked Nadine.
“Sure,” she said, pulling the wrench out of my toolbox.
We were in the garage, working on my Mustang. Nadine leaned over to watch me work under the hood. She didn’t know much about cars—I didn’t even think she liked them—but she was eager to help me.
“You’re bored out of your mind, aren’t you?” I asked.
“Nah. I’m learning a lot. I love the look in your eyes when you talk about cars. Plus, I enjoy spending time with you.”
“I like having you here with me. It feels nice. I’m used to working on it alone.”
“Well, I figured if I keep helping you work on your car, one day you’ll have the same passionate look in your eyes when you talk about me,” she commented.
I smiled. I dropped one of the screws for my exhaust manifold. “Shit. I hate when—”
Nadine wagged her finger at me. “Five things you love.”
“Okay, okay. I love my kids, this house, my car, my pops . . . and you.”
“What did you say?”
I kept my eyes focused on searching for the dropped screw and mumbled, “I love you.”
“Do you mean that?”
I looked up at her. “Yeah . . . I do.” But then I started to have second thoughts. Maybe I was moving too fast.
“I love you too, Chris.”
She leaned her forehead against mine. I lifted her chin and kissed her softly.
“I really do,” I said.
“I know it might sound fucked up, but I’m glad fate brought us together. We both went through horrible situations, but we met each other for a reason,” she mused.
I smiled. She was right. In the short time we’d been together, I’d been happier than I’d ever been with Karen.
“All right. That should do it,” I said, tightening the last screw on the exhaust manifold.
“You want me to try to start it up?”
“Yeah.”
Nadine got behind the wheel, turned the key in the ignition, and started the Mustang right up. It sounded perfect. This moment was perfect. I’d been working on this car for a long time. My blood, sweat, and tears had gone into this project. When I was a kid, I had loved Mustangs and had promised myself that one day I’d own one. I’d wanted to restore it slowly because, as with my marriage, I’d felt that if I worked with it and was patient, the love and hard work I put into it would truly make me happy. I found it symbolic that I was finally able to finish the work on the Mustang with the woman I was truly in love with.
Karen
“Okay, Karen, if you’ll just sign here and then here, that should complete everything,” said Chris’s lawyer, Mr. Morrison.
We were in Mr. Morrison’s office. Chris and I sat across from each other, with our lawyers at our sides. A knot was in my stomach. I had never thought he’d go through with the divorce, but here we were. I had agreed not to take alimony from him if he paid off the house and signed it completely over to me. He had agreed and had used money from his father’s insurance to pay off the house.
The thought had crossed my mind to demand half of his father’s insurance money and half of his 401(k) out of vindictiveness. He had wanted this divorce, not me. I had wanted to work things out, but he had brought out the bitch in me. As it turned out, I had refrained from going after the insurance money and his 401(k) due to the fact that he might have turned around and ask for half my pension, and my pension was significantly bigger than both the insurance money and his 401(k) combined. So he would have ended up with the fatter check. I had thought for sure he’d try to fuck me over and go after my pension even if I didn’t target his 401(k) and insurance money, but he didn’t want anything from me. All he wanted was to end our marriage.
So we had agreed not to touch each other’s retirement funds. The one thing we had fought over was our kids. We’d argued over them for the longest time. Chris had begged me for custody. He’d told me if I let him be the custodial parent, I could see the children anytime I wanted. He’d added that he wouldn’t ask for any child support. While a part of me admired him for wanting to be a great father to our kids, another part of me felt he had put up more of a fight trying to keep them than he had trying to fight for our marriage. Deep down, I was ashamed of being jealous that he loved our kids more than he loved me. Out of spite, I had fought with him relentlessly. I had wanted to crush him with child support, but with my work hours, it had ended up being better to have Chris as the custodial parent.
So I fulfilled Mr. Morrison’s request now and sign
ed the document.
“Since we’re all in agreement, we’re done here,” Mr. Morrison said when I had finished signing. With a smile, he pushed his chair away from his desk.
“I’m glad we were able to wrap things up quickly,” my lawyer, Mrs. Harrell, said, shaking his hand.
I felt like shit, while Chris looked relieved. I curled my bottom lip and reached out to shake Chris’s hand.
“Happy?” I asked.
He shook my hand but didn’t respond. There was no love in his eyes when he looked at me. His gaze was cold and empty.
Once I was inside my car, I leaned my head against the steering wheel and wept. My marriage was officially dead and buried.
* * *
“Sis, you need to pull yourself out of this funk and go out with me tonight,” Chloe said as we sat at my kitchen table.
“I’m not really up for going out,” I said.
“Oh, c’mon. We’re going to go out and be skinny, skanky, and slutty.”
I laughed. No matter what anyone said about Chloe, she always had my back.
“Now you can add single to the list and find the guy you deserve,” she said.
“Chloe, I don’t want another guy. I had the guy I deserved, and I fucked it up.”
“Fuck Chris. This divorce was the best thing that could’ve happened to you.”
I took a cigarette out of my purse, lit it, and took a long drag. “I still don’t understand why you hate him so much. Let that grudge go,” I said.
Chloe watched me smoke and said, “Sometimes the things we want aren’t good for us. Chris wasn’t good for you. He’s comfortable, and you love him, but he’s not what makes you truly happy.”
I rolled the cigarette between my fingers and then put it out in the ashtray. “Maybe you’re right.”
“Oh, there’s no maybes. I know I’m right. Now get dressed. We’re going out. We’re going to have a great night, and later we’re planning your divorce party!”
I shook my head, stood up from the table, and prepared myself for a night of partying.
* * *
It was 6:00 a.m. on a Sunday morning, and I was tiptoeing out of a random guy’s hotel room. With my purse in one hand and my shoes and car keys in the other, I did the walk of shame through the hotel lobby to my car. Overall, the guy was decent, but he was yet another meaningless fuck for me. I would never see him again, nor did I want to.
Love and Happiness Page 20