by Terri Osburn
Desperate times called for desperate measures, so Jesse put the Jeep in reverse to make the late-night journey back to the city.
Fourteen
Still mostly asleep, Ash tried to figure out where the booming was coming from. At first, he thought it was thunder, so he rolled over and put a pillow over his head. But then the pounding came in a steady beat, more like someone driving a nail into a wall. Must have been a neighbor hanging pictures. The noise continued, and Ash opened one eye, remembering that he didn’t live in an apartment anymore so anyone driving nails into walls was doing so inside his house.
Sitting up, he blinked several times and listened for the source of whatever had interrupted his sleep. Only silence came. With a sigh, he dropped back to the pillow only to be jerked upright when the pounding resumed. Too sleepy to remember he wasn’t wearing anything but boxer shorts, Ash shuffled through the house, stubbed his toe on the corner of the kitchen island, and cursed his way across the living room. Seconds before he reached the doorknob, lightning lit up the room, and a scream echoed from his porch.
Wide awake now, Ash yanked the door open to find a soaked and frightened Jesse shivering in the darkness.
“What the…”
Shoving wet hair out of her face, she said, “I didn’t have any place else to go.”
The quiver in her voice indicated she’d been crying, and Ash went on high alert. “Are you okay?”
Jesse shook her head and as the sky lit up again, she leaped into his arms. Shifting them both out of the way, he closed the door before hugging her tight against him. She was wet and cold and soaking his chest, but he didn’t care. He was just relieved to be holding her again. Questions raced through his mind, but asking them could wait. A puddle formed at his feet and even as Jesse’s sobbing eased, she continued to shiver.
Pulling away, he gently pressed on her shoulders until she released her hold. Her cheeks were streaked with a combination of rain and tears; her hair was flattened against her head, and her teeth were chattering.
“We need to get you dried off.”
Jesse sniffled and brushed at her cheeks. “I’m sorry for waking you.”
Ash ignored her needless apology and bolted into action. “Wait here and I’ll get some towels.”
He used the remote to turn on the gas fireplace, and then rushed down the hall to his room. After pulling on a T-shirt and sweats, he gathered several towels from the closet in his bathroom before returning to Jesse. There were only two circumstances that might have landed her at his door in tears. Either something happened to one of her parents, or Dimitri had done something stupid. Ash hoped for the second only because Jesse’s family didn’t deserve another tragedy.
As he rounded the corner, he found her still shivering in the same spot where he’d left her and was struck by the devastation in her puffy eyes. She’d been crying for a while.
“Here,” he said, handing her one of the towels. “Dry your hair and come closer to the fire.”
Sniffling, she did as ordered, squeezing water from her drenched curls as she shuffled toward the fireplace. Ash noticed her fingertips were blue, and there wasn’t a dry thread on the Georgia sweatshirt.
“We need to get you out of those clothes.”
Blue eyes went wide. “I left my bag in the Jeep.”
Tossing the other towels onto the couch, he said, “I’ll get it.” Ash opened the door to a deluge of water falling sideways. In a few seconds, they would both be drenched, but she needed her things. He’d set one bare foot over the threshold when Jesse stopped him.
“Wait!” she yelled. “Don’t do it. There’s no sense in both of us being soaked.”
“You can’t stay in those wet clothes.”
Jesse shook her head. “If I stay close to the fire, they should be dry in a little while. I’ll be okay until morning.” She dropped to her knees in front of the hearth and continued to towel the water out of her hair.
If he couldn’t get her things from the car, Ash would have to provide his own. “I’ll be right back,” he said before making another quick trip to his room. Upon returning, he joined her at the fireplace. “I don’t have much that won’t swallow you up, but here are a couple options.” He set a small pile of clothes beside her. “There are clean towels in the guest bath attached to the back bedroom. You’ll feel better after a warm shower, and then we can talk.”
It would be up to Jesse how much to tell him. Relief softened her features, and her eyes misted again. “I am really cold.”
Ash extended a hand to help her up, and the moment her palm touched his, time fell away. His sweet Jesse stood before him, eyes wide, nose red, and lips parted. Her hand remained in his, and his body warmed from more than the fire.
“Thank you,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. “I wasn’t sure if you’d let me in.”
How could she ever doubt him?
“I will always let you in, Jesse.” Not trusting what he might do next, Ash nudged her toward the hall. “We’ll talk when you come back.”
Lashes lowered, she stepped away, padding softly toward the hall. Before turning the corner, she cast him one last glance over her shoulder, and then disappeared out of sight.
Expelling the breath he hadn’t been aware of holding, he stared into the fire as the warmth from Jesse’s touch still lingered on his skin. Recalling the look in her eyes, his mind wandered into dangerous territory. Territory he had no business getting near. Shaking the thoughts away, he crossed to the kitchen to put a pan of water on the stove. Jesse was going to need something hot to drink and a shoulder to cry on. Ash would provide both, and nothing more.
The hot shower was blissful, the towels warm and fluffy, and the clothes smelled like the man who owned them. The scent hurled Jesse back in time to high school dances and midnight kisses on her parents’ front porch. If only her life was still that simple.
Forcing herself to stay in the present, she rolled the dark-gray sleeves of the crew neck several times so they wouldn’t dangle over her hands. If the pants hadn’t come with a drawstring, even her generous hips wouldn’t have been enough to hold them up. The legs had taken some rolling as well to keep her from tripping when she walked.
Looking in the mirror, Jesse longed for her brush and was all too aware that vanity was the cause. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t burst into the house looking like a drowned rat. Yet she couldn’t suppress the instinct to make herself presentable for Ash. Coming here with her defenses down had been a dangerous idea, but there was no going back now. If only the little voice in the back of her mind would stop whispering that this was where she should have been all along.
“No,” she snapped to the wistful girl in the mirror. That path had been obliterated long ago, and if this night had taught her anything, it was that she needed to work out her current mess before stepping into another.
After running her hands through her hair as best she could, Jesse wrapped a towel around her shoulders to keep the shirt dry and exited the bedroom. She wasn’t looking forward to sharing the details of her evening, but after waking Ash in the middle of the night, she owed him an explanation. Reaching the kitchen, she found him stirring something in a dark mug.
“What is that?” she asked, coming up behind him and peeking around his arm. “You’re making hot chocolate?”
He set the spoon in the sink before sliding the mug her way. “I thought you might want some.”
The gesture weakened her resolve, and Jesse had to force herself to take the drink and put some distance between them. Blowing on the chocolate concoction, she settled on the end of the couch closest to the fire and curled her legs beneath her, steeling herself for the conversation ahead.
Ash wasted no time after joining her. “What happened tonight, Jesse?”
Eyes on her drink she said, “Ryan surprised me by flying home after their show in Charlotte.”
“Okay.”
She cleared her throat and gave the real answer. “He walked in drunk and said he couldn’t
stand the thought of me being with someone else. I put him in the shower, and then went to the kitchen to make some coffee. That’s when his phone chimed.” Grateful for Ash’s silence, she took a steadying breath and pressed on. “The text was from a contact named Boston. That’s where they play tomorrow night. The woman—at least I assume it’s a woman—wanted him to know that she’s looking forward to seeing him and that she’d stocked up on condoms for the visit.”
Ash growled a profanity but didn’t interrupt.
“I should have put the phone down, but I couldn’t help myself. I looked through the rest of his messages, and there was more of the same. He literally has a girl in every city.” Anger mounting, she blurted out the rest. “He didn’t even bother to use their names. Denver. Cleveland. Tallahassee. That’s how he tracks them in his phone. How disgusting is that?”
“I’m sorry you had to find out this way.”
“I know I shouldn’t care about any of them,” Jesse added, “but it’s so . . . insulting. He didn’t even have the decency to use their names. Like. . . they aren’t even people to him.”
She’d never been so ashamed in her life. Jesse had given her heart to a man who used women, and then tucked them away until his next pass through town. Setting her mug on the coffee table, she bolted off the couch, too infuriated to sit still.
“I knew,” she growled, no longer able to hide behind denial. “I knew, and I still stayed. I was so desperate for someone to love me that I ignored what was right in front of my nose. I let this happen.”
“Whoa.” Ash came to his feet. “You aren’t responsible for his mistakes. He made the choice to cheat, Jesse. That’s on him.”
“But I knew!” she cried. “You knew. Everyone knew, and I looked the other way because I had convinced myself that things would be different with me. Loving me was going to keep him faithful.” A bitter laugh nearly choked her. “I was never going to be enough to change him. I’ve never been enough for anyone.”
Ash gripped her upper arms, his face close to hers. “Don’t say that ever again. You’re more than any man deserves, and just because Ryan Dimitri couldn’t see that doesn’t mean it isn’t true.”
Jesse shook her head, unconvinced. “But it isn’t just Ryan. It’s my parents. It’s my friends.” She crumbled against his chest, her forehead pressed to his sternum. “It was you.”
Ash pulled her in and kissed the top of her head. “I’m so sorry. I swear I never wanted to leave you.”
She gripped his shirt as the tears returned. “But you did. Everyone does. What is wrong with me?”
He pressed her back far enough to tip her chin up, forcing her to meet his gaze. “Nothing, Jesse. Absolutely nothing.”
Hazel eyes held hers, and she wanted to believe him. “I wish you were right.”
“I am right.” Ash brushed a curl off her forehead. “I messed up. Dimitri messed up. But like I said, that’s on us. You’re everything, Jesse. Beautiful, smart, kind, talented. I was lucky to love you once. Damn lucky.”
Ash had always seen more in Jesse than she’d seen in herself. Maybe, if he’d stayed in her life, things would be different.
She would be different.
“I was lucky, too.”
Her eyes dropped to his mouth, and Jesse brushed his lips with her thumb. When his body tensed, her heart rate doubled. She caressed his scruff-covered jawline, the whiskers sharp against her hand, and she wondered how they would feel pressed to other parts of her.
“Jesse,” he murmured. “What are you doing?”
Excellent question, but answering would require thinking, and she didn’t want to think right now. She wanted to feel.
“You’re so beautiful,” she whispered.
Stepping away from her, Ash crossed his arms. “You need some sleep.”
“Sleep?” Sleep was not what she needed.
“Yes, sleep. The sun will be up soon.”
Jesse didn’t see what the sun had to do with anything. “But—”
“If we do this, it can’t be because some guy just broke your heart.” Ash put more distance between them. “Good night, Jesse.”
His words penetrated her tired mind. If we do this…
She looked away, embarrassed and exhausted. “Good night, Ash.”
Dragging the towel from her shoulders, she hugged it against her chest and shuffled toward the hall with her head bent low.
“Jesse,” Ash called, and she turned his way. “Don’t think I don’t want to. I just can’t be something you regret. Not again.”
Painfully aware of how much she’d lost all those years ago, she nodded and hurried away before he could see the tears.
Ash dropped onto the couch, his body buzzing like a live wire. What the hell had just happened?
Jesse had just suggested they go to bed—together—and Ash sent her off alone. Not that he regretted the decision, but his body didn’t seem to get the rationale.
That was the odd thing about leaving someone the way he had with Jesse ten years ago. You don’t know the last time you have sex that it’s the last time you’ll have sex with that person. He and Jesse had managed to sneak off just two nights before the accident. For years, he’d dreamed of that night, and hoped against hope that he’d hold her again someday. But eventually, Ash had accepted that she was out of his life for good.
Now she wasn’t and that was setting off all sorts of conflicting signals.
Taking her up on her offer would have been so easy. Hell, even now he was ready to race down the hall and provide whatever she needed. But it couldn’t be like this. Not because some asshole she’d been in love with—a circumstance that set his teeth on edge—had been stupid enough to lose her. Ash couldn’t blame her for seeking solace any way she could get it, but he wasn’t interested in being a consolation lay. Not with Jesse.
Leaning forward, he tapped the table beside the still-full mug. The last time they were together, they’d been kids. Ten years apart meant they didn’t even know each other anymore. From their first meeting at the label office, Ash had noticed the differences. She still had the spunk, but the confidence was shot. The talent was there, but she had no idea how to harness the gifts she’d been given. And Jesse still had the smile that turned him inside out, but now it rarely reached her eyes.
Ash’s first job was to correct the first two, and if he managed that, the third would surely fall into place. After turning off the fireplace, he carried the mug into the kitchen and lamented the one issue he was powerless to fix.
It’s even my parents.
At one point in his life, Ash had seen Vince and Enid Rheingold as the most generous people he’d ever met. They’d opened their home and their hearts to a lonely little boy that their nine-year-old son had dragged home from school like a lost puppy. He realized now that their love for Tommy had been the only reason they’d let him in at all. And even at such a young age, Ash had noticed the difference in how they’d treated their children. Their world revolved around Tommy, and Jesse had been an afterthought, if thought of at all.
Losing Tommy should have compelled them to focus their energy on the child that remained, if for no other reason than the fear of losing her, too.
That had clearly not been the case, and now their beautiful, talented daughter saw herself as less than. Unworthy of being loved. The concept enraged him, and Ash cursed into the void, careful to keep his voice down. Glancing out the front window, he watched the clouds turn a muted pink as the sun began its ascent. A thick haze hovered in the air, and he noticed the rain had stopped.
Seizing the opportunity, he hurried out to Jesse’s Jeep barefooted and returned with the large duffel off the passenger seat. She would likely sleep several more hours, but he wanted her to have her things when she woke. After a quiet trek down the hall, he listened to hear if she was moving around, but caught only the sound of a soft snore. At least one of them was getting some rest.
Leaving the bag just inside the bedroom, he crossed to his own
and dropped onto the bed. Floating between arousal and anger, Ash knew he couldn’t act on the first, but he wouldn’t rule out doing something about the second. Like kicking the shit out of Ryan Dimitri. He wouldn’t—for now—but he’d keep the option on the table.
Head on the pillow, he listened to the birds chirping outside and closed his eyes. Tomorrow, they would get the rest of her things and figure out a temporary living arrangement. She was welcome to stay at his place as long as she needed, but something told him that once Jesse had some sleep, staying with Ash would not be at the top of her list.
Maybe, if he played his cards right, that would eventually change.
Fifteen
Tuesday dawned damp and dreary after a major storm had passed through during the night. Clay was still tense from the call the day before. Joanna’s threat left him feeling as if she’d pulled the pin on a grenade, and now he awaited the explosion that was sure to follow. At the same time, she might do nothing at all. Once she’d recovered from her snit, Joanna could have booked a pedicure and considered another tactic to lure Clay back to her bed.
At this point, who knew what the woman would do?
What Clay did know was that he had an interview to conduct. The candidate’s resume put her at the top of his list for the A&R position, and he hoped she wouldn’t disappoint. The information he’d been able to gather said she possessed a knack for recognizing talent, and a sixth sense about how to maximize their potential. Two required traits for the person who would play a key role in growing his label.
As he reviewed his notes, the phone on his desk buzzed. “Ms. Garcia has arrived,” Belinda said through the speaker. “Are you ready for her?”
Clay picked up the receiver. “Yes, bring her back, please.”
Seconds later, a knock sounded at his door. Belinda opened it and said, “I have Ms. Garcia.”
Circling the desk, Clay welcomed the interviewee, noting that she appeared younger than he’d expected. Her references gave the impression she’d been active around town for a couple of decades, yet she hardly looked old enough to be out of her twenties.