by Evan Dara
—And Kiss the Cook has got the Calphalon Panini Grill for sixty-nine—!
—And at Hard Copy, you know, over on Main, I got lucky, I found a card for a Spanish tutor up on the corkboard – any level, it said—
—I mean, all up and down Church: Blowout Sales, Clearance Sales—
—Everything Must Go—!
—And a card put up by a supra-hermeneutic deconstruction tutor—
—What do you mean the position is taken?! What do you mean you weren’t sure? We shook hands on Tuesday! You told me I start today at eleven o’clock! I bought these – they cost me – Henry, that was two days ago!
—Well, Dustin, you have the Hellboy comic book you haven’t read—
—No no, I’m sure of it. He, Henry, he got someone else cheaper—
—Yeah, that’s the one thing that never changes. Signs for Last Days: Going Out of Business sales never disappear—
—And it’s nice, you know—
—Look around you, you know, folks are adapting—
—Responding, using their smarts and their ingenuity, their creativity—
—Take the hit and use the energy—
—Grappling, like, like Aikido—
—Hey, you see there’s this agency on King Street, this place that’s like a general referral center for teachers—?
—Resilience, man, good American resili—
—That’s something Marcus’s good at—
—Really good at—
—Good, American, entrepreneurial resil—
—Like last month, you know, I’m picking up my dry cleaning, and I go over to Bank Street cause Greer’s there is really good – not the cheapest, by no means, but they’re pretty good – and on my way there I saw this bunch of people mulling around Pearl Street, drilling down their cigarettes and drifting into Trundle Hall—
—Not much of a place, Trundle Hall, to tell you the truth. The wallpaper in the entranceways like this yellow like old mustard, and it’s all scuffed and grubby, the lily plants on the print are fading into like just more scuff and in the whole place the light’s dark, the whole place only has these little one-bulb fixtures up on the walls that do not help, well much. And the carpet’s got black parts and threading and as you go in, like these old little tables against the wall with curved legs, and the hall, you know, inside, its dark too.
—Who knows what it was designed for: Place’s got a small raked stage framed by two well-chipped Doric columns, and this odd, semi-circular auditorium, and this odder kind of micro-balcony with what, maybe three rows of seats—?
—It’s funky, Victorian, the kind of place where, you know, old jazz bands with big huge bass-drums used to play—
—All them flop-seat chairs getting pretty bony, you ask me—
—Old-kind wooden armrests all smoothed soft from human oil—
—’S nice—
—And when I went there last month, when I got to Trundle Hall, people were already talking—
—At the table up front—
—Throughout the auditorium—
—Four, five people were up there on the dais, with water bottles, thing had already started—
—Even while people were still sitting down, threading down the side aisles and looking everywhere for pairs or threes of seats—
—Well yeah, you know, that’s a real nice idea—
—People in the hall were talking.
—Something could be made of that there.
—But I—
—Well, thanks – thank you, Rick said, and nodded and smiled.
—I’m grateful for your support, Rick said.
—And, I mean, if you think about it, the potential is enormous, Rick said—
—Sitting at the center of the table on stage—
—Could do us a lot of good, a man sitting next to Rick said.
—So is the township ready to come on?, a man about five rows back said.
—Rick interrupted the sip he was taking from a little plastic water bottle, had to gulp—
—There’s, well, there’s the usual review process for a project like this, Rick said. But I spoke with some of the people who sit on a few of those committees – you know, last week – and they all sounded pretty warm.
—The city will officially be launching Anderburg Works in the spring, Rick said, and I think the more we have to show them, the higher our chances of getting a go-ahead—
—So will this qualify?
—Should be just our kind of program, Rick said. Well, I believe so. It’s good for the city and good for its people—
—Maybe even put us on the map—
—But isn’t a part of the program that the city has to participate?, another man, maybe eighth row, said.
—They will, Carol said. That’s the beauty. No one is left out.
—You see, the Anderburg civic commission will provide a subsidy, and then when the solar panels go up, the city’ll get its money back, Rick said.
—And then some, Rick said.
—So wait, the solar panels are provided for free, and – wait—
—Yeah, Tom, that’s the idea, Rick said. Homeowners, you see, and the owners of apartment buildings and such, they’re given the solar panels free – just flat-out given, at no cost to them at all.
—So they have no grounds for objecting, Rick said, no grounds for resisting this – no one has any reason whatsoever for staying out of the program. I mean, why would you, when—
—But how would—
—Again, half of what people save on electricity every month, because the solar will be much cheaper than what they now pay Green Hills Power or Anderburg Electric, half of what they save will be remitted to our solar company, Rick said. That’s how the company survives. So for consumers, it’s no upfront cost, and like major savings on energy every single month, and our company just shares in those savings. Take a look at the paper I gave out.
—We’ll base people’s rates on their past year of GHP or AED bills, Rick said. So everyone saves – you, Don, and you, Rita, you both save, everyone here saves – and Town Hall will be reimbursed and then start to make money. It’s win-win.
—And we’ve gone solar!, Carol said. It’s win-win, win-win, win-win-win!
—You two have really thought this out.
—Sounds like a nice idea, Ezra Devigny said.
—Hey, Carol? How—?
—Questions go to Rick, OK?, Carol said. Speak to him. This is Rick’s deal.
—OK. So, Rick, I mean, how do we know if the solar company’s rate is fair?, a man in the second row said.
—Good question, Rick said. But there are kinda general, customary rates for solar power around the country, and we can—
—What if someone doesn’t want to be in the program?, a woman in a leather coat said. Whatever their reason, what if I just decide—?
—Nothing about this is compulsory, Rick said. No one has to do anything they don’t want to.
—And when – if there’s ever a time when you can’t use the System, for whatever reason, Carol said, then you can just go back on the grid. You can always go back.
—But without a sufficient number of people using, or signing up—
—How can – then the price won’t—
—So how long do installations take? How long there going to be someone up there on my—?
—What’s the cost?, a man in a brown scarf said. The up-front cost. That’s what you’re not telling us.
—Well, Rand, not too much, Rick said. All that’s on page two of the handout. After figuring in the Vermont Solar and Small Wind Incentive rebate and the federal tax credit, we budgeted for an average, comprehensive installation cost, from knock on the door to return the tea cup and shake hands, at thirty-eight thousand, two hundred and forty-five dollars.
— …No, that isn’t much—
—But it really isn’t, over the long term—
—Rick, do you really think we can—
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bsp; —But relative to the savings—
—The potential savings.
—And the value, the resale value of your individual house – it’ll go significantly up—
—So do you expect Anderburg to get loans for – to go into hock to—
—Rick, please, one woman said. You’re talking thousands of units. I mean, I think we all think this sounds like it could be OK, but, you know, where’s the—
—Well, we remain hopeful the city can work with both State and federal subsidy programs to get this to launch, Rick said. John here—
—There’s real room for optimism, John Krim Fallows said. This is getting a lot of traction all up and down Finance. They see it as—
—Aw c’mon, Bill Morton said. You really want to get this thing all gummed up by City Hall?
—Right, a man in the back said. This is absolutely something for the private sector. Government’ll only—
—You really want Mayor Farina to be in charge of this? Mr. Let’s Get Golfing—?
—Come on – Farina’s OK, Rick said, and scrunched his face into a goofball smile. But seriously, you know, we also think this could work, and work real well, with only private money. Doug Reeves over at Merchants Bank would be out of his mind not to jump on this thing—
—Rick – Rick, if you please, a man in jeans and a plaid shirt said. Forgive my ignorance, but what – where’s your position in all this? What are your qualifications to – do you have any sort of degree in—
—No degree, Sam, but I’ve been thinking about – I’ve been studying the field for years, Rick said. My degree, I went to Dartmouth, was in physical chemistry, with a specific application in electrical engineering, and I’ve been working on a new kind of—
—Working with whom, Rick?
—I – I devised, I came up with a new variation, or standard, of concentrator module that kind of really improves photovoltaic efficiency? And this module finally lets us—
—So what: you’re using this project to test out some new tech thing that you’ve invented—?
—To promote it—?
—That’s beginning to sound like opportunism, Rick—
—Jim – Jim, let me be direct, Rick said, and bopped down his water bottle. No, I would not refuse a position with the entity – the company – that comes on board to realize this thing. But that would not be necessary to implement. If that’s what it takes to get the project up and going, I would gladly step away.
—As it is, Rick continued, I’ve been in touch with several groups of investors and potential backers who say they’ll—
—They’re willing to put their own money into it—?
—Wonderful – great, said a husky man. Keep it private—
—Absolutely—
—Well, I have a friend who – alternately, my firm would be willing to take a look at any projections or proposals that—
—Wonderful. That’s just great, Rick said. Let’s speak about that.
—Come on, folks, Rick said, walking around to the front of the table. I mean, if you all are looking for a good test case for this thing, what von Neumann would call a closed proposition, how about right now. This winter’s so friggin cold, we would all save tons of money. Tons of it.
—And tell me that wouldn’t come in real handy just about this second, Carol said. Who here isn’t hurting? Every one of us can use the benefits of this thing more than ever—
—So, OK – let’s say we do this thing, said a lady in spangly glass earrings about third row. But what if the solar – if the supply company goes under, and maintenance—
—And if you sell your house and the next people don’t want to participate in—
—Well—
—And backup systems?, Charles Cantor asked. What if we have another winter just like this one, and—
—And there’s another thing, Rick, a man in an orange flak jacket said. One component here, of course, is the alternate energy, the going solar. But widen the viewfinder: what about the energy used to construct the cells – and to install them—
—And to transport them here?
—Won’t the electric company just raise the rates to make up for—?
—Yeah, Rick said, nodding. All good questions. And we—
—Rick, can these things be stolen?, a skinny young longshoreman said. Maybe can there be individual registration numbers on each one tying them to the house that—
—Good idea—
—And if one – any! – of the panels falls, or—
—And if a panel breaks? And if the little cells smash? Cause I heard the silicon, the carbon in those things—
—Is it gonna interfere like in any way with anyone’s satellite dishes—?
—I have a PACEMAKER—
—Rick and Carol, my son loves to climb on the roof and—
—Of course. There are answers to all of—
—I have Veluxes on my roof. They’ll get covered up! I won’t be able to open them any more, and my laundry room—
—A friend of mine has them and they never work right—
—And if birds make their nests up there, underneath the—
—Right. Who’s responsible – who pays for getting them out—?
—In my neighborhood – there are all these warblers on my Street, flocks of them. What if they do their dirt up on the … Who how would—?
—I don’t like anything over my head. I don’t like to have anything over my—
—Can they be shut off for Shabbat—?
—And if the color isn’t good? Last summer we painted our – can we choose what we—
—And they’ll like totally redistribute the primary feng shui of—
—Hey, once, online, I read they’re like cell phones. Their bizzing does all kinds of bad sh – they mess with your brain—
—People—
—Wait a second. So if City Hall is gonna underwrite this, if they’re gonna prop any part of it up, you want me to pay higher taxes so the people up on Hillcrest Road can get a cut in their energy bills?
—Right. We’re gonna subsidize the mansions—?
—But the poor pay a much higher percentage of their income for—
—And how can we be sure that nice new government income won’t be used for abor—?
—People – people—
—Carl …
—Sorry. Out of place.
—And then this guy, this guy takes his Sherpa hat – this red-orange wool-cappy thing with the long ear-pieces hanging down – he takes it and throws it at Bill Warshawsky—!
—Like a jellyfish sailing over the hall—!
—And Bill, he—
—O Lordy—
—But Rick – Rick, tell me one—
—Come on, Tom, give Rick a listen. Can’t you—?
—Who you telling to shush up? Who do you think you’re—?
—Frank … John Jay said disagreement is the highest form of respect—
—Good. Let him think that.
—Dude, this is so—!
—And then the jellyfish-hat again goes swimming up over the tide of heads and—
—Hey – great! Now the government’ll be making money off us every time we open the fridge!
—And knowing, inventorying, every sip of Gatorade we—
—No, sir, as we mentioned, this is most likely going to be private sector—
—Right. Replace one corporate vampire with another—
—Rick, is someone backing you? Is someone paying you in some way to—?
—Come on, Dave. Your point is a little tarnished when your son works for—
—Yeah. Jesus. What a mishigas.
—Yeah. Really.
—Break anybody’s heart.
—Poor Rick. Finally, you know, the guy finally—
—Hey – Ezra! What you—?
—Well look who’s—
—I thought you preferred to go home and molder.
—Yeah … You know.
—Afraid I do. So what you having, Ezzer? What—
—Just a club soda, thanks.
—Jim B? You want another?
—And another after that.
—Next one’s yours, my man.
— …So, yeah, shit, y’know.
—Mm.
—Tonight was even worse than last month.
—What. Did anything happen tonight? Anyone see anything actually—?
—Yeah.
—Hm.
—But come on. Rick. You ever expect anything to get off the ground with that guy behind it?
—Yeah. Even if it is his idea, he shouldn’t be in charge of it.
—Fucking loser. Flap around after this ’n that ’n—
—Even he’s gotta be competent enough to see that he should fire himself for incompetence.
—Hm.
—Put together a project with Pitkinson physics right before the whole effing department goes poof!
—Like that’s his fault.
—Who knows?
—Yeah.
—But the idea’s good. The energy thing. Don’t make sense just to give up—
—Come on, Ezra. You gave up.
—Well …
—Man’s right. Surely right. I miss that store of yours, Ez. Your big dark jungle of stuff and Carl always standing by the side door talking about crabbing in the Hudson. To this day my locks tell me they prefer your keys—
—Yeah, but nah. It was time. Time to get out. I was there twenty-eight years – ten years before you even moved here, Billy. It was enough.
—Yes, Ezra’s famous last words: No mas!
—Hey, all words are last words: value them appropriately.
—That’s to say—
—I’ve always liked hardware stores. All the glues and the garbage pails and the adzes and insect zappers. Makes you feel good. Some people think hardware stores are testaments to decay. Proofs that the creation exists to unmake itself, that everything’s heading drainward. Negative. Just take a look, and all those stores are arguing precisely the opposite – that the world can be made better, significantly better, in, like, endless numbers of ways. They’re seriously optimistic places—