“So,” I said with forced cheerfulness, “what are you doing tonight?” We used to eat dinner together most evenings. We didn’t do that anymore.
She didn’t even look at me. Instead, she opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water.
My temper flared. “You can’t ignore me forever, Keilana. You just ... you can’t is all.” I sat my casebook on the table next to my beer.
She turned and pinned me with a serious look. “I’m not ignoring you, Cadie. I just don’t have anything to say to you.” She turned back toward the fridge as she took a long drink of water, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand when she was finished.
“Well, I have something to say to you.”
Her shoulders stiffened. “Don’t you always?”
My jaw tightened. “Listen, Newman, it wasn’t just my lips that were doing the kissing! You were there too!”
“But I’m not the one who started it and then immediately wanted to take it back!” she wailed.
That shut me up for several seconds and before I could come up with a suitable response she whirled around to face me.
“You were right, you know,” she said softly, now more genuinely sad than angry.
I blinked slowly. “I was?” This was the first time in my life where my being right sounded like a very, very bad thing.
She nodded. “You said that kissing me would be a mistake. That we might not be able to be friends afterward.”
A knot formed in my stomach. I didn’t like the direction this conversion was going, even though it was the most she’d said to me in days. “That’s not exactly what I said.”
“I think it’s close enough.”
Even now, even with her covered in sweat, being difficult, and pissed off at me, I wanted to kiss her, hold her, and tell her how much I cared for her. But my deceit, the enormous pink elephant that would always stand between us, kept me from doing anything at all.
Keilana looked as though she was either going to burst into tears or sock me in the face. I would have preferred the latter. “This last week has sucked,” she said plainly, sniffing a few times to control her emotions.
I could have sworn someone was sitting on my chest as I laughed humorlessly. “No kidding.”
“Just what is it about me that you find lacking?”
I closed my eyes, unable to look at her. “Aw, Keilana.” I sighed. “It’s not that. There’s nothing I find lacking about you. You’re smart, and funny, and pretty.” And I’m crazy about you!
“I know you probably think I’m being ridiculous, but it hurts to look at you and know that I want more from you than you want from me. In fact, it makes me feel like shit!”
I jumped to my feet, willing to say anything to make her stop looking at me like I was the female version of a prick tease. “Fucking isn’t always the answer.”
Her entire body jerked with my words. “I wasn’t talking about fucking.” She shot me a withering glare. “And you know it. Which is why I don’t understand why you’re doing this.”
“You don’t understand,” I said quietly. “Things aren’t as simple as you think they are.” Tell her the truth. Tell her. Tell her, my mind chanted. But I bit my tongue. The fact that I refused to become romantically involved with her was for her own good, whether she knew it or not.
She moved closer to me, not stopping until we stood toe-to-toe. “I do understand!” Her eyes blazed. “I understand that you won’t let us be lovers and I can’t take us just being friends. So where does that leave us?”
The phone began to ring.
“Leave it,” I said, gesturing toward the offending device with my middle finger. “We’re not finished talking.”
“Talking isn’t going to change how I feel.”
“Ugh!” My temper snapped. “Everything isn’t about you. Must you be such an unreasonable brat?”
Keilana’s blue eyes cooled several degrees as she picked up the phone from the kitchen counter. “It’s what I do best, remember?”
“Not that again!” I slammed my palm down on the small kitchen table, making it vibrate and ring out loudly. “That bitchy princess act isn’t going to work with me,” I told her in no uncertain terms. “We’re going to keep talking until we come to some sort of an understanding.”
Ignoring me, she pressed the phone to her ear. “Hello.”
“Goddammit, Keilana!”
“Oh, hi, Billie.” Keilana leaned against the counter, pressing the cool water bottle to her flushed cheek.
“Fuck me,” I mumbled, rolling my eyes in disgust. No matter where I tried to go, all roads led to Billie.
Keilana suddenly blanched. “I’m not sure I’m ready for that. I—” Then she saw that I was listening, and with an annoyed look, she marched into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her.
“Fine.” I closed my eyes, and rubbed my temples, a helpless feeling enveloping me. “What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do?” If I told her the truth she would throw me out and never forgive me. If I continued to lie to her, I would never forgive myself. But that was my cross to bear, wasn’t it? I’d sold my soul to the devil, so was it really right that now I was complaining about being in hell?
Deciding the only good thing left in my miserable excuse for a life was my business, I tried to listen to Keilana’s conversation through the bathroom door. But she’d lowered her voice. All I could hear was a series of murmurs and finally the sound of the shower going.
Giving the bathroom door a good kick, I gave up. Rapidly approaching my breaking point, I locked my case notebook in my desk, grabbed my cell phone, and headed outside into the fresh evening air.
On the fourth ring, Russ picked up.
“Hey, Belinda!” he greeted, sounding happier than anyone should.
“Hey,” I replied tonelessly. “I need your help tonight.”
“You do? Excellent! What can I do?”
I looked back at our cottage. The automatic porch lights had just popped on, signaling dusk. The weather, right along with my relationship with Keilana had gotten colder all week. Absently, I rubbed the goose bumps on my arms, wishing I had on long sleeves. “I need you to babysit Keilana while I go see what I can find out about Billie.”
“That’s the crazy bitch who tried to shoot me, right?”
I didn’t remind Russ that the gun had only been a toy and that she really hadn’t tried to shoot him. His fear had been real and he’d undoubtedly gotten a lot of mileage out of his adventure with his pals from the office. “Yeah, that’s her. I think she’s part of whatever Keilana is doing.”
“Her drug connection.”
“No!” I exploded. “How many times do I have to tell you she’s not a junkie?”
“Fine. Take it easy. Even if she’s not her drug connection or madam ...”
“Russ,” I warned.
“Confronting Billie might be dangerous.”
I smiled coldly. “Don’t you worry, I can handle Billie.” In fact, I was looking forward to the prospect with childish glee.
“If she’s not her connection, how does Billie fit into this other than being the Poppenhouse kid’s nutcase friend?”
“It’s likely that Keilana and Billie ...” I gripped the phone so hard my knuckles hurt. “They’re probably sleeping together. And—”
Russ snorted derisively. “Keilana should have better taste.”
I couldn’t help but smile at that. “Be that as it may, there’s something between them. It’s more than them being girlfriends.” I began moving down the small path toward the fountain, kicking pebbles out of my way as I went. “Call it women’s intuition.”
There was a small stretch of silence before Russ said, “If that’s the case, shouldn’t you stay with Keilana? I can case Billie’s house. Hell, if she’s not there, I’ll break in and see if she still has that backpack. Just give me her address.”
“No.” My lips thinned. “I need to get away from this place tonight. I can’t ... I just ...” I
let out an unsteady breath. “If I don’t get a break from this I’m going to go nuts, Russ. Please.”
“I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
yx
It was more like forty-five minutes before Russ pulled into the visitor parking section at Madonna Del Mar College. I saw him select a spot, but I stayed where I was, on a well-lit stone bench with a good view of the area.
I called his cell phone. “You’re late,” I said flatly.
“Hey, don’t get grumpy with me. It’s not my fault you’re in a piss-poor mood. I missed my dinner, I’m missing the Padres playoff game, and my wife wants both of our heads on a platter.”
I sighed. “Sorry, Russ. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“Neither do I, Belinda. But I’m willing to bet that it’s because something happened between you and Keilana.”
Sometimes I was surprised at just how perceptive Russ could be. “What makes you think that?”
He chuckled softly. “You haven’t gone on and on about her all week.”
I scrubbed my chilly arms again, disgusted with myself for being so transparent. “Listen, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Belinda, you’ll feel better if you do.”
“What’s going to make me feel better is finishing this fucking case! If nothing breaks by the end of the weekend, I’m outta here. The Poppenhouses can have their money back if they don’t like it.” Wow. The decision was made that fast. And when I mulled over the words, I found, to my delight, that I meant every single one of them.
“What the hell? How are you going to pay rent on your office and apartment? How are you going to buy kibble for Smelly if you give back everything you’ve earned?”
I stood and headed for my car. “When I left Keilana she was in a pair of sweat pants, and reading in bed.”
“Belinda—”
“Don’t Belinda me. She’s in for the night, Russ. Just make sure she doesn’t get out without you following her. I’ll pay your normal fee plus overtime.”
I heard him let out a frustrated breath. “How are you going to pay me if you give back your fee!”
“I’ll find a way.” That would mean selling something, but whatever. I was past caring.
“I don’t want your money.”
I smiled bitterly to myself. “Sure you do. It’s all about the money, isn’t it? Just business. You told me so yourself.”
“That’s not—”
I hung up before I could say any more. It wasn’t Russ’s fault that my life was such a complicated mess, but I couldn’t seem to keep from lashing out at people. I wasn’t fit for human company or conversation. Hell, even my dog was lucky to be well away from me. Maybe something would break tonight, or maybe it wouldn’t. Either way, a solitary stakeout where I could sit and think was what I needed.
Well, that and a little luck that wasn’t all bad.
Chapter Seven
It was just before eight when a teenage girl knocked on Billie’s bungalow door. I ducked down in my car and waited to see what would happen next. Thirty seconds later, Billie scampered out of her house, waving goodbye to a little boy and the girl that I assumed was his babysitter.
My mouth began to water. No, not at Billie, but at what she was carrying. The much-sought-after backpack.
It looked heavier than I’d remembered and I began to get a little nauseated as I considered the hideous, endless list of possibilities for what could be inside. Laundered money. Guns. Fake green cards. Body parts. Mary Kay products.
Billie climbed into a late-model Chevy Malibu and started down the street. I was hot on her tail, following her several cars back and singing to the song on the radio when my cell phone rang.
It was Russ.
“What’s up?” I was bound and determined to make up for being such an asshole to him earlier.
“I lost her.”
“What?” I roared, nearly steering myself into another car.
“A semi pulled between us on the 5 and right then she crossed two lanes and exited. I’m backtracking now but there’s no way I’ll find her. Wherever she was going, she was in a hurry.”
“Goddammit, Russ, why didn’t you call and tell me she was on the move?”
“I was going to call as soon as we got wherever she was going,” he said, sounding contrite. “What do you want me to do now?”
I let out an unhappy breath. “You should go home to your wife and enjoy what’s left of the baseball game, Russ.”
“Belinda, I feel like a shithead. I can’t believe I lost her. I trail ten cheating husbands a week and I haven’t lost one in months.”
Following someone on the California highway system wasn’t as easy as the television shows made it appear. If Russ had gone months without losing someone, then he was a hell of a lot better at following by car than I was. “Don’t worry about it.”
“How come you’re not mad at me? You should be mad at me!”
I rolled my eyes as I merged into the left lane, continuing my pursuit of Billie. “Would it make you feel better if I were?” In truth, I was more than a little miffed, but I trusted that Russ had done his best and there was no guarantee that I could have done any better. Keilana drove like a bat out of hell.
“Yes,” he said bluntly. “It would make me feel way better.”
“Fine. You’re fired. And I’m not paying you for tonight either, you loser.”
“Thanks, Belinda.” I could hear the relief in his voice. “You’re the best.”
“God”—I laughed a little, despite my frustration—“we have a totally screwed up relationship.”
“If that ain’t the truth.” There was a long pause before he said, “You know I love you, no matter what, right?”
I nearly hit another car. “What?” Quickly, I straightened the wheel. Russ didn’t say things like that to me.
But the only sound in my ear was a dial tone.
I shook my head. The wiener did have a flare for the dramatic.
A few more turns and we were pulling into The Devil’s Belly. Oh, yeah. I knew it. I knew Billie was Keilana’s connection to this part of San Diego.
Billie pulled her Chevy Malibu into the same small parking lot where Keilana had parked her BMW. I scanned the area, taking in the names of the dance clubs and bars that were already pulsing with life, their neon signs lighting up the night.
I didn’t park in the same lot as Billie. Instead, I parked on the street about a hundred feet from the lot. I kept my eyes peeled for Keilana. Were she and Billie meeting? Or was it just a coincidence that Billie had spoken to Keilana on the phone not long before I left the cottage?
Russ always said there were no coincidences in our line of work. Of course, Russ also said “Pull my finger” quite often. So it’s not like I was going to engrave any of his little ditties on stone tablets.
I hid in the shadows as Billie and that black backpack went to the front door of a club called “Bottoms Up.” She flashed the doorman / killer / bouncer a smile and he held open the door for her, a blast of music escaping as she hurried inside.
When I tried the same thing he stuck out his arm to block my way. “Ahem.” He gave me a pointed look.
I stopped dead in my tracks. “Yes?”
“Fifteen dollars and”—he looked me over with a critical eye—“let’s see some I.D.”
“Gimme a break.” I mumbled, “I’m older than you are, jackass,” as I dug through the pockets of my jeans.
“What was that?” he asked sharply, taking a small wad of cash from a couple of sailors who were dressed like Popeye, and letting them inside. I couldn’t help but notice that he didn’t ask for their I.D. even though they looked like they were in their teens.
“Just a minute.” I tried to look around them as they entered to see if I could spot Billie. But the Incredible Hulk blocked my view with his enormous body. He crossed his bulky arms over his chest.
I smiled brightly. “Here’s a twenty and my driver’s license. Keep the c
hange.”
He grunted as he reviewed my license, giving me a skeptical look.
Blue and red lights reflected off his shiny, bald head. “Next time you buy a fake, try getting one with an age somebody’s gonna believe.” But despite what he said, he stepped aside as he handed me back my license. I reached for the door but stopped with my hand on the handle. With my other hand, I dug out another twenty and held it under the bouncer’s nose. “Does a woman named Billie work here? Tall, redhead.”
He snatched the bill from my fingers so quickly that for a second I couldn’t remember if I’d had one there at all.
“No.”
I waited for more, but figured out pretty quickly that my twenty had only bought one word. Christ. Thank God I’d gone to the campus cash machine that morning. I peeled off another twenty.
“How about Hazel? Same description.”
“Yep.”
I shook my head. Only in California would someone use their real name to work in a bar on the edge of The Devil’s Belly, but go by their fake name in everyday life.
“How about someone named Keilana?” I tried, hoping to make my money stretch.
He just stared at me.
I made a face and handed him another twenty, stuffing my few remaining bills back into my pocket along with my license.
“Never heard of him.”
He clearly wasn’t the sharpest tack in the box. “It’s a her.” I stepped aside as two young men and a women pretty enough to make me do a double take stepped up next to me, paid, and entered the club. Then I described Keilana in detail.
“She don’t work here,” he said finally. Unexpectedly, he winked and smiled, showing off several gold teeth. “But it sounds like she should.”
What the hell did that mean? I frowned as I went inside.
yx
The volume of the music on the outside of the club wasn’t anything compared to what it was like on the inside. Deafening was putting it lightly. The large room was packed with people and smelled like a mixture of sweat, cologne, and alcohol. Yuck.
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