I desperately wanted to rest my cheek against her and feel her juices on my face, but the spell was broken. Time to be the ex-stripper looking for dough. I sat up and waited for a few seconds so the sergeant could consider releasing my fingers. It took longer than I thought it would, and I was secretly pleased that I’d done her so well she couldn’t relax. But there was finally enough room for me to pull out. Just to act tough, I walked to the corner and held my fingers up to the camera. I knew they were loaded and when I turned them upside down, a big drop of the sergeant’s juices slid off. Take that, you perverts!
By the time I walked into the bathroom, my whole body was shaking. The enormity of what I’d done and what a fantastic time I’d had doing it, finally hit me. I washed my hands and my face with the harsh soap, then tried to dry my skin with the cheap, wood-pulp paper towels.
When I went back into the room, Sergeant Randolph was collecting her clothes. Now it didn’t feel like we’d just had a hell of a good time; it felt like I’d just gone down on a higher ranking officer and there was a tape of it.
When I passed by the table, Sonny stuffed ten hundred dollar bills into my hand, his eyes glazed and remarkably wide. I went into the kitchen and tried to look like I had some purpose being there, but I clearly didn’t. Eva, the other lunch waitress, was trying to serve the whole restaurant, and she dashed into the kitchen to curse at me and tell me to get to work.
I followed her out into the restaurant, and saw that the sergeant was still absent. I figured she was cleaning up, but Chris was gone, too. Now what? Then she walked back into the restaurant with Chris and shook both Sonny and Spiro’s hands. She didn’t sit down, but it was clear Sonny was trying to get her to stay.
I knew where she was going and I knew what she was going to do … so I did what I had to do.
Moments later, the door was knocked off its hinges and people started to scream and curse. Most of the screams were from the customers, but the old man sitting at one of my tables stared right at the officers streaming in and started calling them names I’m embarrassed to repeat. Must have had a few run-ins with Chicago’s finest when he was a lad.
A uniformed officer grabbed me and whirled me around so fast I didn’t know what hit me. Good technique. He’d started to pat me down when Sergeant Randolph strolled by. Spiro was turned in my direction, so for his benefit I filled my mouth and spit everything I had right in her face. I’ve never spit on anyone, and it felt weird, but it was the only weapon I had at the moment, and I wanted to make sure Spiro saw me. The uniform turned me around and got me cuffed fast. He looked like he was gonna give me a swift hit with his nightstick, but the sergeant pulled him off. “Leave her alone,” she said. “She’s had a tough day.”
After the Bust
I went directly home. No, that’s not what I should have done. But this had been an extraordinary day, and I needed a little time to myself. I’m not particularly proud to admit this, but I stripped off my clothes, lay down on the sofa and masturbated until I was sore. I knew I’d feel too guilty to fantasize about my afternoon when I was making love to Tim, but I had to get this energy out. I just had to.
When I was finished, I covered up with a throw and lay there to think. I had so many things going through my mind that it seemed like I was looking at my day through a kaleidoscope. Images came at me from everywhere: Sonny and his cold eyes, Chris and the way he’d slapped my ass, Spiro’s face when Sonny slapped him, the moment when the door was knocked off its hinges like a piece of balsawood. But the image that kept coming back was that of Sergeant Randolph’s body. I know it’s odd, but I’d never gotten to really look at Charlotte, and I’m not the kind of woman who’d use a hand mirror to look at herself. There was something so profoundly beautiful about a woman’s body … something that I’m not able to put words to.
There might be fallout from today … terrible fallout. But I’m glad I did what I did. If Tim finds out and can’t get over it … better to know that now than when we have kids. But I don’t think that’s gonna happen … on either front. I don’t think he’ll find out, and I can’t tell him. If this comes out, I’ve got to take my lumps, but if it doesn’t I can’t tell because I’d be ratting out the sergeant. And I’m not going to do that. You don’t do that to another cop. You just don’t.
But even if he finds out, I think we’ll be able to work through it. He loves me very much, and I love him just as much. He’s not dumb, and he wouldn’t want to give up something great just because of something I had to do to save my own life and the life of a fellow officer. He’s my husband, but he’s also a cop. An accountant might not understand, but a cop would. That doesn’t mean he’d be happy about it, but I think he’d understand.
And now … remarkably … I think I could explain what happened. I’d never tell him that I got so hot I had to masturbate for a half hour. But I could honestly say that Sergeant Randolph didn’t make me hot … even though I was sizzling. I wasn’t having sex with her … even though I would have leapt at the chance at one point in my life. I was doing what I had to do as a cop … and getting rid of some bad memories at the same time. No, I wouldn’t tell him that, either. But I could honestly say that the experience didn’t make me want to do it again. I’d had a fantastic sexual experience … devoid of love and caring and emotional connection. It was wild and exciting and reckless, but that’s not how I want to experience sex on a regular basis. I want to be loved and cared for and cherished by my lover … not act on pure animal lust. Yes, lust is part of it, but I don’t want it to be all of it. I want Tim. I know that now, more than ever.
Resolved, I got up and took a long, hot shower. I flossed, used mouthwash, brushed, used more mouthwash and brushed again. I just wished my sister lived close. I’d trust her to tell me if my breath smelled like a woman. But I didn’t have the luxury of having a friend nearby who wouldn’t judge me for what I’d had to do. So I got dressed, went to work, and started filling out paperwork. I was always in a hurry to divest myself of the tips I received, but today I needed to get that thousand dollars off me. It felt like blood money, and I can honestly say I’ve never been happier to lose a thousand bucks.
yx
I slept surprisingly well. Partly because Tim was so effusive in his praise for the bust. I think there will always be a part of me that wants his approval. He made some overtures about making love, but I pled exhaustion, which was true. I didn’t mention the fact that I couldn’t stand to have another orgasm, but that was my business. He’s not much of a cuddler, but I snuggled up to him and he put his arm around me.
“You did some very good police work on this sting,” he murmured, kissing my head. “I know you didn’t get the most exciting assignment, but you’ll get there. I know you will.”
“Thanks,” I said. I kissed his bare chest, not even slightly disappointed to find flat, hard muscle. He’s the man I love, and he’d look plain silly with a pair of boobs.
yx
We didn’t work in the same building, so I had to invent an excuse to sneak over to her desk. I didn’t know many people on her floor, so I just glided by and dropped a note, not turning to see if she’d even noticed it fall onto her lap.
A few moments later, she walked into the restroom and stood there a little uncertainly. “Uhm … hi,” she said.
I put a manila envelope on the sink. “I know I committed a crime, but I can’t afford to have this ruin my career.”
“You took the tape?” She looked tremendously happy, and my heart started to beat harder.
“I had to learn something in six months. Other than the fact that I never wanna be a waitress.”
She picked up the envelope. “Are you giving this to me?”
I took a breath, hoping against hope that she’d view the situation the same way I did. “Yeah. It’s your decision. You’re the lead officer. If you want to turn me in … it’s your call.” I noted that she was unable to look me in the eyes, but I wasn’t really in a hurry to lock gazes with her, ei
ther.
“I can’t do that to you,” she said. “I could just say I found it. It happens.”
My heart was thudding so loudly, I swear I could hear it. “Will you turn it in? If you do, I’ve gotta do some damage control.”
“At home?”
“Yeah. My husband wasn’t wild about my going into narcotics. I don’t think this’ll change his mind.”
“He might not find out.”
“He’s a lieutenant in the police commissioner’s office. He finds out everything.” I was on the verge of crying, just thinking about the look on Tim’s face if he saw the tape, but there was no way I was gonna let her see me cry. I had to maintain my self-respect.
“My girlfriend wouldn’t be happy, either.”
Something about the casual tone she used made me mad. I looked right at her. “Would she divorce you?”
“I don’t think so. But I guess I’m not sure. It wouldn’t help our relationship.”
It was a little late to be all coy, so I told the truth. “I had an affair with a woman in college. Biggest mistake I ever made was telling my husband about it.”
I thought I saw her wince. She looked at the envelope in her hand, knowing how much it could hurt both of us. She met my eyes, holding my gaze for a moment. “If I was the only one on this tape, I’d turn it in. I follow the rules. That’s the only thing that keeps us from being like Sonny.”
I nodded, hoping against hope that there was a big “but” coming.
“Anything else on here?”
“Nothing,” I said quickly. “They must have put in a new tape.”
“Hmm …” She looked thoughtful. “How bad was it working there?”
Odd question. “Bad,” I said. “I think I’ve got Chris’ fingerprints permanently branded on my butt,” I said, feeling the sense of shame that always overcame me when he touched me. “That bastard never walked by me that he didn’t manhandle me.”
“Sometimes it sucks being a woman on the force. I’ve dressed up like a hooker more times than I can count.” She laughed softly. “Sometimes I think the force would still be all male if they didn’t need us for prostitution busts.”
She said it with such good grace that I had to laugh, too.
Slapping the envelope against her hand, a little line formed between her brows. “What about the buy? It’s on here, isn’t it?”
“No.” I shook my head quickly. “Spiro got up and turned the recorder off when you and Chris went into the back room.” I smiled at her. “They’re not dumb enough to record a big sale.”
She waited for a second, her gaze flickering over my face. “Wanna go out for breakfast?”
I blinked. Oh, God, don’t tell me she wants a repeat performance! “Uhm … why?”
The sergeant gave me such a warm, friendly smile that my heart resumed its normal beat. “I wanna go to the hardware store down the street and buy a magnet. Then I wanna pull this tape out and run that magnet over it. Then I thought we could burn it, and then …”
I practically squealed. “Can I put the ashes in the river?”
“With a lead weight.”
I could be wrong, but I think I’ve found a girlfriend on the force.
Books by Blayne Cooper
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www.blaynecooper.com
Books by KG MacGregor
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Books by Susan X Meagher
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Undercover Tales Page 31