“Thanks, Landon.”
We take a bio break again at midnight. It’s a quick one.
Now the table is just Jackson, William, and me. We must play fifty hands, and the same money moves from one person to the next. When I look at my watch, it’s after two thirty. Finally, I get a pair of aces. There are a lot of cards that can beat the pair, but it’s something to work with. Now I just have to be careful how I play this. I don’t want to scare them off.
The dealer puts the first three cards down: an ace, a three, and a king. Three aces is powerful. William puts down a big bet. He probably has at least one king in his hand, but he’s bluffing that he might have an ace.
The next card is turned in front of the dealer—another king. William must have a king as he bets high, and Jackson follows. They could be splitting the king or one of them may have the ace I’m looking for. All I know is we don’t have enough for a flush or a straight. I follow their leads and meet each bet.
When the last card is turned, it’s another ace. My hand is now four aces and a king high. Now I need to play them. William bets high, but not all. Jackson follows but has to go all-in. I up the bid to push William all-in, too.
“You may regret that,” he says.
I nod and try to hold back my grin. The three of us stand, and all talking in the barn stops. Everyone gathers around. William turns his hand. He has two pair. In his hand he has a king and a three. With the cards on the table, he has two kings and two aces. Jackson grins and throws his hand in the middle. I look over at Lilly, and her hands are in in front of her mouth, almost in prayer.
I flip the two aces. William throws his head back. “What is the fucking chance you’d get four aces and king high in this game of all games?” He looks around. “Gillian, I think this game is rigged,” he teases.
Mia comes over and gives me a giant hug. “Congratulations to our winner, Nate Lancaster.”
The crowd cheers, and I’m overwhelmed with gratitude. I can see Lilly cheering in the back.
Mia slips the watch over my wrist. It’s heavy—much nicer than the diver watch I usually wear—and I like it. There’s a quarter-karat diamond at each hour, and the secondhand glides.
“I hope you like it. Your foundation’s logo is right there.” She points to a spot above the date.
“Thank you.” I lean down and kiss her cheek. “This has been wonderful in so many ways. I’m really glad we’re still doing this.”
I talk to everyone as we slowly disperse. Tomorrow is the wedding, and guests have begun to arrive. There’s a party brewing, but I’m not interested in hanging out and drinking all night.
“Are you ready?” I ask Lilly when I finally make my way to her.
She nods, and we begin the trek to our suite. I’m on a high, and I feel a little giddy. Lilly must sense this.
“I can’t believe you won,” she says as I open the door to our suite.
Closing the door, I reach for her hand and pull her into a hug. And then it seems only natural that I lean down and crush my mouth against hers. My fingers tighten in her hair as I hold her to my lips, which move against mine with perfect sensuality. She melts under my touch, neither of us letting go.
Her chest heaves, and I gasp for breath when we finally stop. I flash a smile and look down sheepishly. “Should I apologize?”
“Never apologize.”
I’m debating asking her to stay with me in my bed when we hear Bex talking in her sleep.
“Goodnight,” Lilly whispers. “I’m glad you won.”
I watch her go and feel a little guilty. I never looked at another woman when I was married, and a part of me still feels married. But the other part yearns for her.
The energy of the win and her kiss keep me awake for a while, but I know I’m smiling when I finally fall asleep.
In my dreams Cecelia comes to me. “I like her, and the girls like her, so what’s stopping you?” she asks.
“You’ll always be the only woman I love. I worry I’m replacing you to guarantee stability for the girls.”
“You can love someone else and still love me. The girls adore Lilly. It’s okay.”
“Tell me who did this to you!” I demand.
“You’ll know soon, babe. I promise.” She disappears.
“Come back. Please. I don’t know what to do,” I cry.
A hand runs over my chest. “I love you,” I murmur.
The hand stops.
I open my eyes and see Lilly retreating. “Lilly?”
“I’m sorry. You were crying in your sleep again. I came to calm you down.”
“I didn’t mean to wake you. I’m sorry.”
Lilly returns and sits on the edge of the bed. She looks at her hands. “Nate, I’m here already to maintain stability for the girls. I think it’s best we don’t complicate things.”
“What do you mean?”
“You were talking in your sleep. And I… I want to make sure I put Katrina and Bex first.”
“What did I say? I was having a dream. I can’t be held accountable for my subconscious talking.”
I can see her half-smile in the moonlight. “I love the girls, and getting involved with you could ruin the trust we’ve built. We shouldn’t risk that.”
I’m so confused. She’s not making sense. “What did I say?”
“Goodnight, Nate.”
Chapter 10
Lilly
When I heard Nate last night, I was certain something was terribly wrong. Then I realized he was arguing with Cecelia in his dream. He told her he’d always love her, and I was only a way to provide stability.
I’ve been second my whole life. My dad picked my stepmother over me. I was waitlisted to attend Smith. My advisor at MIT made it clear that I was not his choice, because I was a woman, but he was forced to take me. Each time I struggled, he told me I was taking the place of a much more deserving male.
I know this was only a dream, but Nate’s words sting, and I’m taking them as a warning. Just once I want to be the first choice. Nate’s dream has reminded me that Cecelia casts a long shadow, and I’d only be a replacement.
I didn’t sleep well after that, but I stayed in bed.
When Bex gets up, I roll over to find Katrina already awake and scrolling through her phone.
“Your dad was the big winner last night,” I tell them.
Bex crosses her arms and taps her temple. “We should get him a big stack of pancakes with strawberries, whipped cream, and lots of syrup.”
“I think that’s what you’d like for breakfast.” I reach for Bex and pull her into a hug.
She nods.
“All right, let’s get some clothes on and head downstairs to breakfast.”
Katrina studies her phone and seems close to tears. “I’ll be down shortly,” she says.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
She sighs and drops her phone in her lap. “My friends don’t believe we’re here at Caroline Arnault’s wedding.”
I laugh. “That’s easy to fix. I bet she’ll be at breakfast. She has a big day before her wedding this evening, but I bet she’d pose for a picture with you.”
Katrina’s eyes sparkle with tears. “We’re not allowed to take pictures of the wedding.”
“I didn’t say at the wedding, I said at breakfast. You’re in the wedding party anyway.” I go to her and rub her back. “Trust me, the pictures will be released to select media, and you’ll be in them. They’re only jealous.”
Katrina picks at her thumbnail. “I hope I can still fit in my dress.”
She’ll be wearing a tea-length, black silk organza dress that complements the bridesmaids’ dresses.
“You’ll be fine,” I assure her. “And breakfast isn’t going to make a difference. Let’s get some fruit in you and a slice of toast.”
“I guess.”
We all dress, and instead of the Naval Academy sweatshirt, I wear an MIT hoodie. Downstairs, the dining room is busier than usual, but not crazy—ye
t.
After we fill our plates, Bex picks the table front and center because it’s closest to the buffet.
“Hey, ladies,” Tinsley says as she approaches.
“Hi.” They both reply in unison.
“Tinsley can ride horses, too,” Bex announces.
Tinsley nods. “I needed a better horse when I was growing up. Mine was old and tired of jumping.”
Landon walks over. “Hey, I went to MIT.” He points to my sweatshirt.
“I got my masters there,” I tell him.
Landon’s brow furrows. “What did you study?”
“Electrical engineering with a software-design emphasis.” It isn’t a secret. I just don’t volunteer that I know about technology.
Landon’s eyes grow big. He wasn’t expecting that, but not many people get degrees at MIT in English lit. If they want that, they tend to go down the street to Harvard. “Wow. Who was your advisor?”
“Hasan.”
If I had a feather, I could knock Landon over with it. “You had Hasan?” he says. “I didn’t think he’d work with women. I think it’s a religious thing for him.”
I nod. “He was a real ballbuster, but they made him take me. For two years, he didn’t let me forget it.”
“I’m impressed. I had Xi, and she was tough, but it pushed me.”
“I don’t miss the New England winters. I had four years of undergrad at Smith before Cambridge. I like sun and winters that bottom out in the mid-forties.”
Landon shakes his head. “Why are you a nanny? You must have at least two great ideas for startups after your dissertation.”
No one knows what I’m working on, and I’m not ready for it to get out. “I have some ideas,” I answer carefully. “But for now, I love hanging out with these two.”
I can see Landon’s brain working overtime, but because the girls are with me, he holds back.
Caroline comes in and greets the girls, but Katrina doesn’t say anything to her.
It’s my duty to fix this. “Caroline, would you mind posing for a picture with Katrina? She has a friend who doesn’t believe she’s here.”
She smiles and holds her arms out to Katrina. “I’d love to.” They stand cheek to cheek, and I take the picture.
“When I get back, would you like to meet me for lunch on a Saturday sometime?” Caroline holds Katrina’s hand. “I grew up in the spotlight, much like you are. I might have some tricks on how to deal with the jealous girls at school and the prying eyes of the media.”
Katrina’s eyes grow big. “Yes, I’d love that.”
“Until then, don’t let anyone make you feel less than you are. Find a friend you can trust, and don’t trust anyone else. I was lucky to find Greer and Hadlee, and when I was in college, Emerson was my roommate.” She points to the women at another table. “I see the girls in school who were awful to me on occasion, but they have issues. I didn’t miss a thing. Just keep doing what you’re doing.”
Katrina nods.
I mouth, Thank you.
“Don’t forget, lunch when I get back—just the two of us,” Caroline promises.
I’ll bet she did have some of the same issues Katrina is dealing with, and I’m impressed that she volunteered to meet with Katrina. It’ll make a world of difference.
When she leaves, Katrina turns to me. “I’m glad you asked her for the picture, but I don’t think I’m going to send it to anyone. I think it’ll be a special picture just for me. You’re right. The wedding will be in the papers, and they can see it there with everyone else.”
I reach for her. “I think you’re amazing. I’m so proud of you.”
She blushes as she puts her phone aside and digs into her breakfast.
When we’ve finished, I make up a breakfast plate with Bex’s help, as well as a quadruple espresso. If Nate sleeps anytime the rest of the week after drinking this, it’ll be a miracle.
“Don’t forget the salt,” Bex says.
“It’s not a lot, just a little,” I remind her.
We walk upstairs to the suite, and everything is quiet. Bex puts the breakfast down on the table, and I walk the espresso into Nate’s room and place it by his bed.
“Thank you,” he mumbles.
“Go back to sleep. Once you drink this, you may not need sleep for a while. The girls and I are going to get dressed and take a shuttle into town for some shopping.”
“I can go with you,” he offers as he struggles to sit up.
“That’s not necessary.” My voice cracks. I don’t know why I’m so emotional. “I’ve got it. I won’t let Katrina go too crazy, and if we find riding boots for Bex, she can get those.”
Nate nods. His arm is over his eyes. He reaches for my hand. “I’m sorry for whatever I said in my sleep last night. I don’t want to risk how far we’ve come with the girls, but I do want to explore more with you.”
I look to make sure the girls aren’t going to walk in. “This isn’t the time for this conversation.”
Nate squeezes my hand. “I’d like to join you this morning. Just give me a minute.”
“Katrina is going to shower and do her hair. You should have plenty of time.”
He sits up, shirtless, and I can’t help but look at his chest. “I want to figure this out,” he affirms.
“Daddy!” Bex yells as she runs in and jumps on the bed. “If we see riding boots today, Lilly says we can buy them.”
“I think you’ll need them,” he says.
Bex curls up on her father’s lap, and I leave them to pull out clothes for the girls to wear shopping today.
I end up in skinny jeans, kitten-heel boots, and a dark green sweater that brings out the green flecks in my blue eyes. Nate dresses in jeans and a rolled-neck sweater with a pair of chukka boots; both the girls are in jeans and long sleeves.
“Okay, are we ready?” Nate asks once we’ve assembled.
Everyone nods, so we head down and hop on the shuttle heading into town.
After wandering in and out of a few shops, Nate relents and buys Katrina a small Louis Vuitton bag. It falls within her school rules for bags and can be worn over her shoulder or crossbody. It’s big enough to carry her ID and some money and maybe her phone.
We’re directed to a place that can fit Bex for a pair of riding boots. They carefully measure her and promise to add room for some growth. They’ll have the handmade boots delivered to the vineyard tomorrow.
After that, we mostly window-shop as we continue to wander through town. The employees in the high-end shops don’t seem to know who Nate is. They know there’s a big wedding going on, so they’re nice, but none of us is swathed in jewels or anything that screams money, so they don’t pay much attention to us.
Katrina insists on walking through the Gucci store. Nate looks through the dresses. I assume he’s looking for Katrina when he motions me over. “What do you think?”
I nod, but I don’t see much beyond the ten-thousand-euro price tag. “That would look lovely on Katrina.”
His head cocks. “No. For you.”
I make a disgusted face. “That’s not necessary.” It’s a stunning dress with the Gucci logo in a shiny print on black silk and a mandarin collar of gold silk that continues down the front of the dress and circles the hem. The saleswoman pulls a size zero down for me, and I shake my head and point to the size six and my chest.
She turns to Nate. “You’re a lucky man to have such a slight woman with beautiful, full breasts.” She hands me the zero anyway.
I blush as everyone stares at my chest.
The corners of Nate’s mouth turn up, and his eyes darken.
She sends me to the dressing room, where I shimmy into the dress. It hugs my hips and hits just below the knee, but what I realize is a deep slit down the front pulls wide across my chest and opens to my navel.
I walk out holding it together. The girls waiting with Nate and the saleswoman.
“You look beautiful,” the saleswoman announces. “See? The size zero
is perfect for you.” She has me stand on a riser at the window and slaps my hand away from holding the dress closed.
I’m horrified. When I take my hands away, the material splits wide. My nipples pebble noticeably beneath the thin material of my lace bra. Nates eyes grow large, and he moves the Louis Vuitton package to his lap. There is no disguising the swell of my breasts, and no way to wear a bra.
“I’m not sure where I’d ever wear this,” I say.
“I love it,” Bex says.
We leave with the dress, double-sided tape, and a pair of petals to hide any erect nipples—plus a beautiful pair of black pumps and matching handbag, to the tune of more than twenty-thousand euros.
“This is too much,” I whisper.
“You look beautiful in it, and you deserve it,” Nate insists.
We have an early lunch, by Italian standards, and then the girls want gelato.
While they chat and enjoy their frozen dessert, Nate turns to me. “What did I say in my sleep?”
I can’t look at him. “You were talking to Cecelia. You said you’d never love anyone else and would only want me to create stability for the girls.” When he says nothing, I force my eyes up. “I’m committed to supporting your daughters, and I’ll stay until we agree they no longer need me. But I think we should leave things at that.”
He sighs and nods. “Cecelia comes to me in my dreams sometimes.” He looks down at his boots. “You know how rough it’s been for me since she died. I would have rather lost both arms and legs than her.”
“I understand. You found your soulmate when you were in middle school. What are the chances?”
He nods. “I know what you heard last night, but that was only half the conversation. I’m lonely without Cecelia. I crave a companion. On this trip, I’ve realized I want to try to find that again. My heart is ready to heal, and I know I still have the capacity to love. But that said, it’s most important that my girls like my partner. I don’t want to cause more stress for them.”
I become very aware of his hip and thigh on the bench next to mine.
“I’m incredibly attracted to you,” he continues. “And that’s new for me. That part of me hasn’t been active in a long time. But right now, I want to hold your hand. I want to kiss you like I did last night and see where it goes.”
Showdown: Tech Billionaires Page 10