by Nikki Ash
My thoughts go back to earlier when we said our vows in a little chapel on the Vegas Strip in front of our family.
“I, Chase Matthews, promise to love and cherish you, to protect you for the rest of our lives. I promise to stand by your side, to always support you, to be the person who cheers you on when you spread your wings, and like the beautiful butterfly you are, fly…”
After we said our I dos, Chase surprised me with the papers for me to legally adopt Hazel. I knew I’d be signing them, but I didn’t know he had them rushed to be ready in time for me to sign the day of our wedding. Afterward, we went to a nice restaurant with everyone and celebrated. The babies were all getting tired, and we were about to call it a night, when my mom and dad offered to watch my cousin Micaela’s little ones and Abigail, and Chase’s mom offered to keep Hazel for the night, so we could continue the celebration.
We were walking past a tattoo shop and I told Chase I wanted to get a tattoo to commemorate the occasion. I told him he didn’t need to get one as well. I knew his stance on tattoos—that he didn’t want to permanently mark his body until he found the right one. But he shocked me when he said he would like nothing more than to get one with me.
Chase, not giving a shit how girly some might think it is, insisted on getting a butterfly as well, only his is a bit darker, and with Hazel’s and my name etched in the wings, and it’s on his left pectoral muscle over his heart.
“All right,” the tattoo artist says, wiping my wrist. “Check it out.”
I glance down at the gray shaded beautiful butterfly and smile. “It’s perfect.”
I show it to Chase, who nods in agreement. “Perfect.”
“Where to next?” Micaela asks once we’re paid up and standing outside. “I’m for once not pregnant. I vote we get drunk.” Her husband laughs.
“You guys can go,” Chase says, wrapping his arms around me. “I’m taking my wife back to our hotel room and not coming out until tomorrow morning.” I tilt my face up to look at him and he waggles his brows suggestively.
“I’m down for hitting a club,” Lexi says. She pulls me into a tight hug. “Enjoy your wedding night. Congratulations. I love you and I’m so proud of you.” She chokes up on the last word and hugs me tighter.
“I love you more, Lex.”
We break apart—both of us wiping the tears from our eyes—and everyone else hugs and congratulates Chase and me, before we go our separate ways.
When we arrive back at the room, I tell Chase I’d like to freshen up, and of course he insists we shower together. The entire time we’re washing up, we can’t keep our hands and mouths off each other. I think we both want to have sex in the shower, but at the same time, we also want to make love for the first time as husband and wife in the bed. When we get out, I brush my teeth and am about to take my birth control pill when Chase plucks it out of my hand.
“What if you stopped taking this?”
“My pill?” I’m confused. If I don’t take it, I’ll… “You want to have another baby?”
“Only if you do.” He smiles shyly. “You and Lexi are close in age and get along well. And my sister and I were too, until…” He swallows thickly. “Until the drugs, we were best friends.”
I encircle my arms around his waist. “I wish I could’ve met her.”
“I wish you could’ve too.” He kisses the top of my head. “What do you think?”
I back up and he holds up the packet of pills. Doing the math in my head, I figure out that if we were to get pregnant now, Hazel and the baby would be just under two years apart. That’s if I get pregnant right away. I’ve been on the pill for years, so it could take months…
“Okay,” I tell him. “No more pill. Whatever happens, happens.”
“Hell yes.” Chase’s lips curve into a sexy smirk. “Let’s get started now.”
He lifts me over his shoulder, fireman style, and stalks over to the huge bed, dropping me onto the center of the mattress.
“Wait! I didn’t get to put on my sexy bridal lingerie.” I picked it out especially for tonight. It even matches my wedding dress.
“You can show me after,” Chase growls. “Right now, I need to be inside my wife.” His mouth crashes against mine and all thoughts of my lingerie disappear as I get lost in my husband.
Chase
Four Months Later
“I’m pregnant.” Georgia lifts the stick with the bold word PREGNANT written out. “Oh my God! I’m pregnant.” Her eyes light up and a huge grin splays across her face.
“You’re pregnant.” I pull her into my arms, both shocked and elated. Neither of us thought she’d get pregnant so quickly, so when she missed her period a couple weeks ago, she was in denial. Until the morning sickness started and we agreed it was time to take a test.
“Mama! Dada!” Hazel yells from her crib, letting us know she’s awake from her nap.
Georgia wraps the stick up in toilet paper and drops it into the garbage, then washes her hands. When we walk into Hazel’s room, she’s bouncing up and down with the most adorable smile. “Up, please,” she says, the word please coming out like peeze. I lift her out of her crib and place her on her changing table so I can change her diaper.
“I can’t believe by the end of this year, we’re going to have another little one,” Georgia says, kissing Hazel’s forehead. “I think we should look for our own place.”
My head jerks up. “To buy?”
“Well, yeah.” She shrugs. “Maybe in the same neighborhood as my parents or near Lexi…”
My brain starts calculating how much a house in one of those areas will cost. I spent the majority of my savings on Georgia’s ring, and I still need to pay her back for the attorney.
“Hey,” she says, picking up Hazel and setting her down. “If you want to stay here, we can. It was just a thought.”
I watch as Hazel runs over to the corner of her room and drops into her oversized stuffed chair. It has her name stitched across the back and is pink, like most of the other stuff in her room. She grabs a book and opens it, mumbling to herself like she can actually read it.
“Chase, talk to me.” I look back at Georgia, who’s frowning. I consider lying to her, telling her I want to stay here, but the truth is, I would love to get a bigger place, buy a home we can call ours. The problem is, I can’t afford anything like that—even with me up for a promotion at work, I still wouldn’t be able to afford a down payment on a house where she’s talking about.
But she can. Because my wife is wealthy as fuck. And despite her financial advisor suggesting I sign a prenuptial agreement, she refused, saying she won’t go into a marriage with the idea that it will one day end. We haven’t discussed money, both of us too busy focusing on Hazel and being newlyweds, but it’s something we should’ve talked about.
“I only have a little bit of money in savings,” I admit, making her frown. “And I know you’re rich and can afford a million houses, but I want us to be equals in this marriage. I don’t want to buy a house I can’t afford.”
Her face contorts into confusion. “So, because you can’t afford it, we can’t buy a house? How does that make us equals?” She crosses her arms over her chest. “The last time I checked, we’re in this marriage together, and what’s mine is yours and vice-versa.”
I swallow thickly, having no response.
“You’re right,” I admit after a beat. “My words were based on male chauvinistic pride. I’m sorry.”
Georgia nods. “I don’t care about the cost of the house. I just want a place to call our own. With a backyard where our kids can run around and play. Maybe a porch swing where we can sit and grow old together. We have the money to live where we want and I want our children to grow up in a nice, safe neighborhood.”
She’s saying everything I’ve always dreamed about and I can’t allow my pride to keep us from having what we both want. “I want all of that too.” I tug on the bottom of her shirt, forcing her closer to me. “Let’s do it. Let’s buy
a house.”
“Thank you!” She squeals. “I can’t wait!”
We spend the rest of the day playing with Hazel, and once she goes to bed, we check out listings for homes in the neighborhoods where her family lives. We find a few and email the agents, asking to set up a time to see them.
As we’re turning off everything, preparing to go to bed, I get a text from an unknown number that has me stopping in my place.
Unknown: Hey Chase, it’s Victoria. This is my new number. Can we please talk?
Can we talk? Has this bitch lost her mind?
Me: There’s nothing to talk about. Don’t contact me again. You’re getting blocked.
I put her name into my phone, so I have her number then block her.
“Everything okay?” Georgia lays her head on my chest and drops her arm over my torso like she does every night.
“Yeah,” I tell her robotically. Then I change my mind and go with the truth. “Actually, no.” She sits up, concerned. “Victoria texted, wanting to talk. I blocked her.”
Georgia’s mouth turns down. “Chase… maybe you should hear her out. Before everything you guys were friends.”
Fuck, can she be any more innocent and naïve?
“We’re not those people anymore and her choosing to abandon our daughter proved that. I want nothing to do with her.”
I can tell by the look on her face she doesn’t agree, but she still nods and lies back down. “If you change your mind, I’ll support your decision,” she says, making me fall even more in love with her.
“Chase… Chase, wake up.” I wrench my eyes open and glance around. It’s dark in the room, so it’s late… or early. “Chase.”
My vision clears and I see Georgia sitting up in bed with tears in her eyes. I immediately shoot up on alert. “What’s wrong? Is Hazel okay?”
“Hazel’s okay,” she says softly, “but when I woke up to use the bathroom, I was bleeding.” Bleeding… Fuck. “I think I’m losing the baby.”
“It could be anything,” I assure her, knowing nothing about how pregnancy works but trying to remain positive. “Let’s get you to the hospital.” I turn on my phone and call Charlie to come over and watch Hazel.
Georgia’s quiet the entire drive and stays that way once we’re checked in with the emergency room. Since she’s only a few weeks along, it’s not considered top priority, so we have to wait our turn. The entire time, I pray to God she’s okay, that bleeding is normal. But when she flinches and I ask her what’s wrong, and she says she has bad cramping, I know no amount of praying is going to save our baby.
Four hours later, we’re told Georgia is in the middle of losing our baby. She was only six weeks along and it’s apparently common for miscarriages to occur before the twelve-week mark. The doctor discharges her, warning her the next few days she’ll bleed a lot, her body naturally releasing the fetus, and suggests she follow up with her doctor.
On our way home, I text Charlie to let her know, and she texts back she’ll take Hazel to her house so Georgia can rest.
When we walk inside, Georgia goes straight to Hazel’s room. “Where is she?”
“I had your mom take her to her house so you can have some time.”
Georgia frowns. “I appreciate that, but I’d like for her to come home.”
I step over to her. “Don’t you think maybe you need a little bit of time to mourn? You just lost a baby. I know we only found out yesterday, but it still fucking hurts.”
“I know, but losing the baby makes me appreciate what we have that much more.” Tears fill her eyes. “I just really wanted to hug our daughter.” She wraps her arms around her torso and I pull her into my arms, once again falling deeper in love with my wife.
“We’ll go get her later. We don’t want her to see either of us upset.”
“You’re right. You should probably get to work. You’re already late.”
“I called out. I’m not going anywhere. Get into bed and I’ll run out and grab us some breakfast.” There’s no way I’m leaving her side right now. I have no experience with this sort of thing, but it feels like she’s still numb, and I’m worried when the numbness wears off, she’ll release every emotion she’s keeping locked away right now.
“Can you also get me pads, please? I forgot I don’t have any.”
“Of course.”
She climbs into bed and I kiss her forehead. “I’ll be back soon.”
On my way to the store, I get a call from Alec. “Hey, man.”
“How’s Georgia doing?” Lexi’s mom must’ve told them.
“She’s hanging in there. I’m going to get us breakfast right now.”
There’s a moment of silence before Alec speaks. “So, um, this is a bad time, but… Victoria is here and she’s refusing to leave until she can speak to you.”
Fuck. She can’t be serious showing up at my goddamn workplace.
“I’ll swing by there.”
“Sorry,” he says. “I tried to get her to leave, but she’s being stubborn, and the only other option I’d have would be to call the cops, but I wasn’t sure you would want that.”
“I’ll handle it. Thanks.”
When I pull up, I see the Mercedes I bought her parked in the drive. I’m hoping I can get her to leave quickly so I can get back to Georgia. When I step inside, I find her waiting at the table. Her long black hair is up in a tight ponytail and she’s wearing a face full of makeup. When she sees me, she stands, exposing her body. She’s wearing a tiny yellow tank top, distressed jeans, and a pair of heels. She looks good. Clean. Sober. Good for her. But if she thinks she’s going to waltz in here and make demands, she’s about to be disappointed.
“This is my workplace,” I tell her. “You don’t come here. Ever. Well, unless it’s to drop off my daughter.” She flinches at my words, but I don’t have it in me to feel bad.
“You didn’t leave me a choice,” she says softly, very unlike her. “I don’t know where you live and you blocked me.”
Not wanting a scene to be made in the station, I nod for her to walk outside with me.
“When someone blocks you that means they don’t want to speak to you,” I point out once we’re standing in the back. Since the fire station is a home that was remodeled, it has a backyard. We put a swing set out here so the kids can play on it when we hold family barbecues.
Victoria steps closer to me, and I immediately see the look in her eyes. Seduction. Not over my dead body. “I’m married.” I lift my left hand to show her my ring. Her eyes bulge out of their sockets. “And my wife legally adopted Hazel.”
She splutters, shaking her head, at a complete loss for words.
“You didn’t really think you’d come here months after abandoning my daughter and I would get back together with you and we’d be some sort of happy family?”
She clears her throat. “I messed up. Please, Chase. I just want to see my little girl.”
I don’t even have it in me to laugh at her audacity. Georgia is home, waiting for me to bring her food and pads because she just lost our baby while this bitch is begging to see the baby she left on a doorstop.
“I gotta go.”
“Wait, please.” She places her perfectly manicured hand on my arm. “Can I at least see a picture of her?”
“No, you don’t deserve to see anything or hear anything regarding her. You don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as her.”
“Chase. C’mon, please,” she whines, her tone grating my last nerve. “I was in a bad place. I’m better. I was scared to live without Raymond, but he’s gone now, and you’re… married,” she chokes out. “All I have left is Hazel.”
“Wrong,” I bark out. “You signed the papers giving her up, which means you have no rights to her.”
A single tear slides down her cheek. “I made a mistake.”
“You’ve made a lot of mistakes,” I agree. “But as far as Hazel goes, the best decision you ever made was giving her up.” My phone vibrates in my pocket
and I pull it out. It’s Georgia asking if I can please get her pain medication. Because she’s suffering from a miscarriage and is in pain, while piece of shit women like my ex-wife can get pregnant and carry a baby without a care in the world. Sometimes the world really is fucked up.
“I have to go.” I put my hand on her shoulder to quickly guide her out. “Don’t come back here. You made your decisions and now you have to live with them.”
I don’t bother to say bye to any of the guys, just focusing on getting Victoria into her car. “Chase, I’m begging you,” she pleads as I open her car door.
“Get in the car, Victoria,” I bark out. Thankfully, she listens. “Focus on staying clean, go to meetings, spend time with your parents, get a job, a hobby. But do not come around here again.”
I slam the door closed and stalk away, refusing to even give her a second glance. She isn’t worth my time or energy and my wife needs me.
Georgia
“Park! Park!” Hazel yells as the park comes into view. It’s been a little over a week since I miscarried and the only things keeping me together are Chase and Hazel. I saw the doctor and she assured me there’s nothing wrong with me. She even said Chase and I are more than welcome to start trying again after my next cycle, but I think we’re going to wait a little bit, so we can both move past the pain.
“Yes, that’s the park,” I tell her, pushing her stroller down the sidewalk. Chase is at work today, so we’re meeting Lexi and Abigail to play and have a picnic.
We pull up and I unbuckle Hazel. The second I put her down, she takes off running toward the jungle gym. I glance around, looking for Lexi, but she isn’t here yet, which doesn’t surprise me. With her gallery opening a few months ago, she’s been crazy busy working out all the kinks.