by John McElroy
CHAPTER XVI. AN UNEXPECTED MARRIAGE
THE BOYS CAPTURE REBELS AND ADMINISTER THE OATH.
THE REBEL Major accepted the unexpected turn of events with soldierlyphilosophy. Tuggers, captured in a blue uniform, saw the ignominiousfate of a spy loom up before his eyes. His face grew very white and set.He sat down on a log, looked far away, and seemed oblivious to everythingaround him.
Jeff Hackberry and Sol Simmons were frightened into nerveless terror,and occasionally sighed and groaned audibly. Their men huddled togetherlike frightened sheep, and looked anxiously at every move of theircaptors.
'Squire Corson had ventured two or three remarks in a judicial andadvisory way, but had been ordered by Capt. McGillicuddy to sit down andkeep quiet. He took a seat on a stump, pulled a large bandana out ofhis beaver crowned hat, wiped his bald head, and anxiously surveyed thescene as if looking for an opportunity when the power and dignity of theState of Tennessee might be invoked to advantage.
Only Mrs. Bolster retained her aggressiveness and her tongue. Ifanything, she seemed to be more savage and virulent than ever. She waswild that she had been outwitted, and particularly by Si, whose fluentspeech had returned the moment the{224} firecrackers went oif. Shepoured out volleys of scorching epithets on all the Yankees fromPresident Lincoln down to Corp'l Si Klegg, and fervently invoked forthem speedy death and eternal torment where the worm dieth not and thefire is not quenched.
Capt. McGillicuddy rounded up his prisoners, took arms from thosewho still retained them, had Si and Shorty do what they could towarddressing the Major's wound, and then began an examination of the house.
He found abundant evidence of all that he, Si and Shorty had believedof it. It was a rendezvous for spies, both great and small--both those,like Mrs. Bolster, who infested our camps, and got news of whateverwas going on there, and those who operated on a larger scale, passingdirectly from the Headquarters of the rebels to the Headquarters ofours, and to the rear, and the sources of information at Nashvilleand Louisville. It was an important station on the route for smugglinggun-caps, quinine, medicines and other contraband from the North.Quantities of these were there waiting to be forwarded. As the source ofthe fighting whisky introduced into the camp of the 200th Ind. too muchwas known of it to require any further information. And it was more thanprobable that it was the scene of darker crimes--Union soldiers luredthither under some pretext, murdered and robbed.
"How in the world am I going to break this infernal nest up?" saidCapt. McGillicuddy, with a puzzled air, after he had ordered the whiskydestroyed and the other things gotten in shape to send{225} back tocamp. "By rights, I ought to burn that house down, but that would leaveall these children without shelter. By the same token, I ought to shootor at least send off to prison that old she-catamount, but that wouldmean starving the children to death. I declare, I don't know what todo."
He had drawn apart a little with Si and Shorty, to whom he spokeconfidentially, while casting his eyes about him as if seeking somesolution of the problem.
"If you'll allow me. Captain," said Shorty, "I've an idee. Now thatwe've got the trap, let's set it agin, and see if we can't ketch somemore."
"Splendid idea. Shorty," said the Captain, catching on at once.
"And my idee," said Shorty, emboldened by the reception of his firstsuggestion, "is that you take all the company but me and Si and four orfire of the boys back to camp, leavin' us here until to-morrow at least.There'll probably some very interestin' men happen along here to-night,not knowing what's happened, and we'll jest quietly yank 'em in."
"That's good," assented the Captain.
"In the meantime," continued Shorty, "you kin be considerin' what you'lldo with the house. It may be best to let it stand, and watch it. That'sa good way to do with a bee-tree or a woodchuck hole.
"I believe you are right. I'll do as you say. Si, you and Shorty pickout as many men as you want to stay with you. I'll leave one of thesehorses with you. If you should happen to need any more, mount one ofthe boys and send him back for help. I'll come out with the wholecompany."{226}
Shorty and Si consulted together for a few minutes, picked out theirmen, gave their names to the Captain, and received his assent to theselection. Then Shorty said:
"Captain, you don't want to take that old woman, the 'Squire and thatskunk they call Jeff Hackberry back to camp with you, do you? Leave 'emhere with us. I've got a little scheme."
"The old woman and the 'Squire you can take and welcome," answered theCaptain. "I'll be glad to have them oif my hands. But Hackberry is arebel soldier. I don't know about giving him up."
"Leave him with us, then. We'll turn him back to you all right, and theold woman and the 'Squire, too, if you want 'em."
"No," said the Captain, with an impatient wave of his hand. "Keep them,do what you please with them. If you should accidentally kill the oldwoman I should not be unduly distressed. But don't let Hackberry getaway from you. I'll take the rest back to camp, and I must start atonce, for it's getting late, and we didn't bring any rations with us.Do you suppose you can find enough around the house to keep you tillmorning?"
"O, yes," said Si. "There's a sack of meal in there and some side-meat.We gave the old woman a lot of coffee. We'll make out all right."
The prisoners had been watching the Captain and his men with greatestanxiety. They now saw Si with his squad take the 'Squire. Mrs. Bolsterand Hackberry off to one side, while the Captain placed the remainder ofthe prisoners in the center of his company and started back to camp withthem.{227}
There was something in this separation that terrified even Mrs. Bolster,who stopped railing and began to look frightened.
"What are yo'uns goin' to do with we'uns?" she inquired hoarsely of Si.
"You'll find out soon enough," said Si significantly. "Set down thereon that log and think about what you deserve. You might put in any sparetime you have in doing some big repentin'."
Hackberry began to whine and beg for mercy, but Shorty ordered him tokeep silent.
"I want you to understand," said the 'Squire, "that I'm a regerlarlyelected and qualified Magistrate o' the State o' Tennessee; that I'mnot subjeck to military laws, and if any harm comes to me you'll have toanswer for it to the State o' Tennessee."
"Blast the State o' Tennessee," said Shorty contemptuously. "When we gitthrough there won't be no State o' Tennessee. It'll be roasting in thesame logheap with South Caroliny and Virginny, with Jeff Davis brilin'in the middle."
"Boys," ordered Si, "a couple of you look around the house and see ifyou can't find a mattock and shovel."
Terrible fears assailed the three unhappy prisoners at this. What coulda mattock and shovel be wanted for but to dig their graves?
Shorty stepped over a little distance to a large clump of "red-sticks."These grow in long wands of brilliant red, as straight as a corn-stalk,and slenderer. They are much used about the farms of the South for rodsfor rough measurement. He cut one off about six feet long and strippedoff its leaves.{228}
The anxious eyes of the prisoners followed every movement.
Two of the boys appeared with an old mattock and shovel.
"Guess you'd better dig right over there," said Si, indicating a littlebare knoll.
"Nothin' else's ever bin planted there. At least nothin's ever come up.The chances are agin their comin' up if we plant 'em there."
"Stand up," said Shorty, approaching Hackberry with the bright crimsonrod in his hand. "I'm goin' to measure you for a grass-green suitthat'll last you till Gabriel blows his horn."
Hackberry gave a howl of terror. The 'Squire and Mrs. Bolster began aclamor of protests.
"Don't fuss," said Shorty calmly to them, as he took Hackberry'sdimensions. "I ain't goin' to show no partiality. I'll serve you boththe same way. Your turns 'll come after his'n."
The children, aware that something unusual was going on, yet unable tocomprehend what it was, stood silently around, their fingers intheir mouths and their vacant eyes fixed in th
e stolid stare of themountaineer youth. Even the dogs were quiet, and seemed watching thescene with more understanding than the children.
Mrs. Bolster's mood suddenly changed from bitter vituperation. Sheactually burst into tears, and began pleading for her life, and makingearnest promises as to better conduct in the future. The 'Squire andHackberry followed suit, and blubbered like schoolboys. Mrs. Bolsterreminded Si and Shorty how she had saved them from being killed bythe{229} fierce Hackberry and the still fiercer Simmons. This seemedto move them. She tried a ghastly travesty of feminine blandishments bytelling Shorty how handsome she had thought him, and had fallen inlove with him at first sight. Shorty gave a grimace at this. He and Sistepped back a little for consultation.
When they came back Shorty said oracularly:
"Our orders is strict, and we should've carried 'em out at once. But,talkin' with my partner here, we're reminded o' somethin'. We believeit's the law that when a man or woman is sentenced to death theexecution kin be put off if they kin find anybody to marry 'em. Is thatgood law, 'Squire?"
"H-m-m," answered the Magistrate, resuming his judicial manner at once;"that is a general belief, and I've heard o' some instances of it. Butbefore sayin' positively, I should like to examine the authorities an'hear argument."
"Well, there hain't goin' to be no continuance in this case for you tolook up authorities and hear arguments," said Shorty decisively. "We'rethe higher court in this case, and we decided that the law's good enoughfor it. We've settled that if Mrs. Bolster 'll marry Hackberry, andHackberry 'll marry Mrs. Bolster, and you'll marry 'em both, we'll granta stay o' proceedings in the matter o' the execution o' the sentence o'death until we kin be advised by the higher authorities."
"I'll do anything. Mister," blubbered Hackberry. "I'll marry her thisminnit. Say the words, 'Squire."
"I've said I'd rather die 10 times over than marry yo', Jeff Hackberry,"murmured Mrs. Bolster. "I've{280} bin the wife o' one ornery snipe of awhisky-sucking sand-digger, and when the Lord freed me from him I saidI'd never git yoked with another. But I s'pose I've got to live for mychildren, though the Lord knows the yaller-headed brats hain't wuth hit.They're everyone of 'em their dad over agin--all Bolsters, and not wuththe powder to blow 'em to kingdom come. I'd a heap ruther marryJeff Hackberry to make sure o' havin' him shot than to save him fromshootin'."
"You hain't no choice, Madam," said Shorty severely. "Law and orders isstrict on that pint."
"Well, then," said she, "since hit's a ch'ice betwixt death and JeffHackberry, I'll take Jeff Hackberry, though I wouldn't take him on noother terms, and I'm afeared I'm makin' a mistake as hit is."
"What do you say, 'Squire?" asked Shorty.
"I've bin studyin' on jest whar I come in," answered the Magistrate."These two save their necks by marryin', but do you understand that thelaw says that the Magistrate who marries 'em gits his neck saved?"
"The court is not clear on that as a p'int o' law," said Shorty; "but inthe present case it'll hold that the 'Squire who does the splicin'gets as much of a rake-off as the rest. This is not to be considered aprecedent, however."
"All right," assented the 'Squire; "let the couple jine hands."
With an air of glad relief, Hackberry sprang up and put out his hand.Mrs. Bolster came up more slowly and reluctantly grasped his hairy fistin her{231} large, skinny hand. The 'Squire stood up before them in hismost impressive attitude.
"Hold on," suddenly called out Tom Welch, who was the "guard-houselawyer" of Co. Q, and constantly drawing the "Regulations," the"Tactics," and the "Constitution and Laws of the United States," inwhich he was sharply proficient, upon the members of the regiment. "Iraise the point that the 'Squire can't officiate until he has taken theoath of allegiance to the United States."
Si and Shorty looked at one another.
"That's a good point," said Si. "He's got to take the oath ofallegiance."
"Never," shouted the 'Squire, who had begun to recover hisself-confidence. "Never, as long as I live. I've sworn allegiance to theSouthern Confederacy, and won't take no other oath."
"Grave for one!" called out Shorty to the boys with the pick and shovel,as if he were giving an order in a restaurant. "Full size, and hurry upwith it."
He picked up his measuring rod and started to take the 'Squire'sdimensions.
The 'Squire wilted at once. "I s'pose I've got to yield to force," hemuttered. "I'll take the oath."
"Who knows the oath?" inquired Si. "Do you, Tom?"
"Not exactly," replied Tom, non-plused for once. "But I know the oathwe took when mustered in. That ought to do. What's good enough for us isgood enough for him."
"Go ahead," ordered Si.
"We ought to have a Bible by rights," said Tom.{232}
"Where kin we find your Bible, Mrs. Bolster, asked Si.
"We'uns air done clean out o' Bibles," she said, rather shamefacedly."Thar hain't nary one in the house. I allers said we orter have a Bible.Hit looked 'spectable to have one in the house. But Andy allers wantedevery cent to guzzle on."
"Here's a Testament. That'll do," said Tom, handing Si one which some ofthe boys had about him. "Le's make 'em all take the oath while we're atit."
"You'll all raise your right hands," said Si, opening the book. "Placeyour left on this book, and repeat the words after that man there,givin' your own names." Si was as solemn about it as he believedeveryone should be at such a ceremony. Hackberry and Mrs. Bolster werenot sure which were their right hands, but Si finally got them started,and Tom Welch repeated slowly and impressively:
"You do solemnly swear to support the Constitution and laws of theUnited States, and all laws made in pursuance thereof, against allenemies and opposers whatsoever, whether foreign or domestic, and toobey the orders of all officers duly appointed over you. So help youGod, and kiss this book."
"And to quit liquor selling, smuggling, spying and giving aid andcomfort to the enemy," added Shorty, and this was joined to the rest ofthe oath.
"I ought to have added that they wash their faces once a day, and putmore shortenin' and fillin' in Mrs. Bolster's pies," said Shorty inan undertone to{233} Si. "But I suppose we oughtn't to ask impossiblethings."
"Now go ahead with the wedding ceremony," ordered Si.
Again the 'Squire commanded them to join hands, and after mumblingover the fateful words, pronounced Thomas Jefferson Hackberry and Mrs.Sophronia Bolster man and wife.
"Now," said Shorty, who felt at last fully insured against a greatdanger, "I believe it's the law and custom for all the witnesses toa weddin' to see the bride and bridegroom in bed together. You'll goinside the house and take one of them beds, and after we've seen youthere we'll consider your cases further. You're all right, anyway, untilwe hear from camp to-morrow."
Amid the grins of the rest the boys conducted the newly-weds into thehouse.
He and Si brought out the sack of meal, a few cooking utensils, a sideof bacon, and the package of coffee, which they gave to the other boysto get supper with. They closed the door behind them, excluding thechildren and dogs, and left the pair to their own reflections.
"Gentlemen, what air you gwine to do with me?" asked the 'Squire. "I'dpowerful like to git on home, if you've no further use for me."
"We hain't decided what to do with you, you old fomenter o' rebellion,"said Si. "We ought to shoot you for what you've done in stirring upthese men to fight us. We'll settle your case to-morrow. You'll staywith us till then. We'll give you your{234} supper, and after awhile youkin go in and sleep in that other bed, with the children."
The 'Squire gave a dismal groan at the prospect, which was lost on theboys, who were very hungry and hurrying around helping to get supper.
They built a fine fire and cooked a bountiful meal, of which all,including the 'Squire and children, partook heartily. A liberal portion,with big cups of strong coffee, were sent into the bridal couple. Asbed-time drew near, they sent the 'Squire and the children into thehouse, and divided themselves up into reliefs to
watch during the night.