by J. M. Madden
Amberly was still torn about whether she should call in. As it was, she was AWOL, and she could make several assumptions. The gunfire had probably been reported to local police, and the CIA had probably found her picture somewhere. Necco had probably chosen a fairly safe spot to meet her, but as much as she’d run outside, she had no doubt a camera had picked her up somewhere.
Maybe they had also picked up that she’d been shot and assumed she’d gone to ground.
Devlin posed a different set of problems. If she’d been seen with him, people might assume that she was back with her turncoat husband. And the CIA would then be looking for her for an entirely different reason.
Amberly hated all the questions and she knew she would have to call in at some point, just to appease her own peace of mind.
They settled on an out of the way motel. Again, he only got them one room, but she wasn’t going to complain. Even though she’d catnapped all day, she could tell her body was using a lot of energy to fix her arm and she was tired. Not crazy tired, but she knew she would allow him to keep watch over her. Knowing he was there, across the room, had been entirely too comforting last night, and she’d slept like the dead. Actually, she’d slept like she had when he’d come home from deployments years ago, wrapped in his arms and safe.
Devlin had always been protective of her. As she’d grown up and settled on what she’d wanted to do in her life, she’d gotten a lot of resistance to her dreams. When she told people she wanted to protect the country at all costs by joining the CIA, she’d usually been laughed at. It had been a struggle to get people to take her seriously. It wasn’t until she’d done a stint in the Marines, then gotten her bachelor’s degree in international studies and had applied to the CIA before people started taking her seriously. Then she’d had a completely new demographic of people to convince — her superiors — but she’d always been up for the challenge.
Amberly loved the business of being a spy. She loved learning integral information vital to national security, and being a part of the team to act on that information. She missed it. She was in a much smaller division, now, which dealt with dead or inactive cases that hadn’t had a satisfactory ending. She was analyzing data, basically. It was not where she wanted to be, but her credibility had taken a serious hit after Devlin’s defection.
But Devlin had always supported her devotion to her job. Not once had he ever told her to not take a job.
“Do you mind if I shower?” she asked, her mind as tired as her body.
“Not at all,” Devlin said, setting his pack on the bed near the door. He’d also carried in the folder of information, his aluminum rifle case and the envelope of pictures. “When you get done, I’d like to check your arm.”
Amberly said nothing as she slipped into the bathroom. Ugh… nothing like 1970’s pink tile. Dropping her clothes to the floor, she carefully untaped the bandage from her arm, then twisted to look in the mirror. Well, it looked better than it had, but it was still angry and swollen. And very hot. Maybe a cool water shower…
When she stepped out in her tank and black nylon yoga pants, Devlin was sprawled on the far bed, legs crossed and one arm under his head. His eyes were closed, but she had a feeling he was only half asleep.
Laundry was going to be a problem. Chicago was supposed to have been a two-day trip, and she was working on day four of wearing the same clothes. She’d traveled enough in her career to know that she was going to have to buy new clothes or take a couple of hours to do laundry. Neither she wanted to take the time to do.
Her gaze wandered back to Devlin, and his long form. The man could cat nap like a pro. Then her gaze drifted down, along his strong chest and down his stomach to his narrow hips. Those muscles he’d worked so hard for were still there, even though he hadn’t been active for years.
A heated shiver rolled through her and she tore her gaze away. Devlin had been like catnip to her. He’d been her one true weakness, the only person who had ever managed to tap her heart. And her body had sung for him. Just thinking about all the orgasms and all the ways he’d worked her to a frenzy beaded her nipples.
“Sit down and I’ll check your arm,” he said, rolling up on the bed.
Amberly almost jerked, but she managed to catch herself. Of course, he was still awake. She looked down at her chest and busied herself with crossing to the bathroom to set her clothes on the counter. Think non-sexual thoughts. Maybe she could at least rinse out her shirt and panties.
By the time she turned around, her breasts were under control. Kind of. She felt self-conscious. And flushed. She glanced in the mirror. Yep, her chest was mottled. Damn it. Last night she’d been in too much pain to even think about him seeing her boobs that exposed.
Amberly sank to the edge of the bed, and Devlin sat down beside her.
“I don’t like the look of this,” he said, voice deep. “I’ve got a few more antibiotics. I’ll double your dose tonight.”
“It’s hot,” she admitted. “I took a cool shower, but it doesn’t seem to have cooled it at all.”
Devlin’s mouth tightened, and he cleaned the wound. Then he very carefully smeared antibiotic ointment on the wound and wrapped it in gauze.
Amberly drew in a deep breath. They’d been in the car all these hours and she’d been breathing in his scent all that time. It should have been enough, but she found herself drawing him in again since he was leaning close. He’d been in the car as long as she had, but he smelled like man, spicy and sharp. He smelled like he used to when he’d come home from deployment, worn and tired, needing to do laundry and smelling of fuel and desert and gun oil. The machinery scent had become one of her favorites, though, because it meant she was about to be wrapped in his arms. And they would welcome each other home again.
Devlin went still, and she knew why. Her nipples had gone hard again, an oh, so obvious tell that she was aroused. Having his hands on her, even just for this reason, shouldn’t have made her body react. After three years it should have been gone, this weakness to his nearness. Instead, it felt like when they were dating, nervous and excited about possibilities.
Amberly had never seen herself as the woman getting married in a white dress and walking down the aisle to her businessman husband, then popping out 2.5 kids. She and Devlin had been more practical, going before a Justice of the Peace before he left on one of his deployments, and the kids, well… kids were apparently never meant to be for them. They’d tried, but…
She swallowed and backed off a little, her eyes dropping from him.
“Even hurt and in pain and trying to be a bitch, you’re beautiful to me.”
One of Devlin’s fingers ran down her cheek. Amberly was pissed at herself because she wanted to nuzzle into that touch, like she was a starving woman. She was stronger than that, damn it! For three years, she’d taken care of herself because she had no other choice.
The stroke of his finger reminded her what it had felt like to be with him, though. Devlin had taken care of her more than any other person she’d ever been with, and he’d relished pleasing her sexually. Those hard hands that could kill and manipulate every weapon the Navy offered could so effortlessly soften on her like silk. Every single touch had meaning and promise and could lead to intense pleasure. That lone finger had started so many passionate incidents.
Amberly could see the memory of it in his gaze, as well. Devlin’s Adam’s apple bounced as he swallowed and glanced away. Then he looked back, the expression on his face unexpectedly vulnerable. “It’s been a while, babe. Thank you for looking at me like that. It makes me think of happier times.”
“Me too,” she admitted. She couldn’t move if her life depended upon it. Actually, she realized she was leaning a little toward him.
That was all the motivation Devlin needed, because he cupped her head and kissed the hell out of her.
Amberly hated being weak and giving in, but it had been so long since she’d been held or kissed. Or even touched. Was this just an overreaction to being near a man sh
e knew had cared for her? After her divorce she’d been asked out, but none of them had seemed right, so she’d said no. That, of course, led to a whole new string of issues at work. She didn’t mind being called cold by the men she turned down. It just supported what her intuition had been telling her when she’d turned them down.
Devlin tilted his head, kissing her deeper, and she wondered what the hell she was doing. This man had violated her trust, as well as that of so many other people. But he’d been her love, her heart, for so much longer.
He was the one to draw back, and she thought she saw a quiver in his hand as he lowered it from her face. “Proximity,” he said simply.
Anger sparked in her gut. “Seriously? So, any female you got close with would have sufficed?”
He drew back, obviously startled. “Fuck, no. That’s not what I meant at all. Just that, I know you wouldn’t want me, specifically, touching you. I know how much I hurt you, and I’m sorry. I don’t think you were open to hearing it then, but I am so incredibly sorry things happened the way they did.”
Amberly struggled with all the words that wanted to spew out of her mouth. She did want to scream and rail at him, but it wouldn’t do any good. It was over and done with. Right?
“Just, why?” she said, eventually. “I mean, we were making good money. We had no real bills to speak of. Everything was covered. What would make you try to take Regent out? Was it an ego thing?”
Devlin looked down at his boots, mouth pursed. “You wouldn’t… It doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t want to talk about it.”
He moved to get off the bed, and she grabbed his arm. “What the hell, dude? You ruin my life and now you don’t want to talk about it? Are you serious?”
“You won’t like the answers I give you,” he snapped, “so you might as well float along in your little bubble as long as you can.”
She jerked back. “What are you talking about? I’m not in a bubble.”
Devlin snorted and pulled away. “Right. I’m going to shower.”
Turning, he headed for the bathroom, snapping the door closed behind himself. Within a few seconds, she heard the water start up. Images of Devlin in the shower with her assaulted her, redirecting the anger he’d sparked in her. Many times, they’d showered together, just because they couldn’t stand to be apart. The shower had always led to other things, which usually led back to the shower.
Snorting, she dropped back onto the bed, her throat tight and her heart thumping. Her body was betraying her, reacting to him like they’d been apart for a long deployment. It didn’t seem to understand that the emotional aspect had changed.
Reaching down, she stroked her fingers over her mound, remembering how Devlin used to kiss her there. Her fingers swirled, rubbing outside the cloth, wondering if she dare reach beneath. No, he would return soon. Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to imagine, just for a moment, that it was his hands on her. Giving her pleasure the way they used to. Taking care of her the way they used to.
9
Devlin cursed when he realized he’d left his toiletries bag outside, and he opened the door.
The sight of Amberly on the bed, eyes closed, mouth open, hand rubbing at her pussy caught him totally off guard, and gave him an instant boner beneath the rough terry-cloth towel. He watched, mesmerized, as she circled, circled, her head twisting on the pillow. Then her mouth opened, and she breathed out a long breath. Her hand stilled and it seemed like she was forcing herself to stop.
“Please keep going,” he murmured softly.
Amberly’s eyes flew open and she jerked her hand away. She glared at him, and he knew she was going to unleash on him. He kind of didn’t care, though, because the image of her masturbating was burned into his brain. He held up a hand. “Before you yell, I want to tell you, you were, are, beautiful when you do that. I’ve always thought so.” He nodded to his towel, tented straight out. “I’m more than willing to join you, and take care of the itch I think we both have.”
For a moment, her silvery eyes softened with need and she opened her mouth. Then she seemed to realize what she was doing, and her expression closed down. “I don’t think that would be a good idea.”
Dev wasn’t surprised that she turned him down. It had been a wild swing for a home run, and she’d shut him down. That was okay, though. He’d learned something invaluable.
Crossing to the other bed, he grabbed his toiletry bag, letting the towel come apart. He held it and the toiletry bag in his hand, and turned, letting her get an eyeful of the heavy erection he was sporting. Then he fisted it for good measure. Her eyes glazed over, and he knew she was fighting herself at that moment. “I’m going to go jack off in the shower, and let you have fun out here, but remember, I could have fucked you better than your fingers.”
He walked back toward the bathroom, until she called his name.
“Devlin,” she paused, looking torn. Then she shook her head. “I can’t.”
Dev let himself into the bathroom, closing it tightly behind himself. He didn’t lock the door, though, just in case she wanted to join him. Watching her had been… arousing, to say the least. Stepping into the weak shower stream, he let the hot water flow over him, and he poured out a puddle of shampoo into his hand. He lathered the hair on his head, then worked down his body. His dick was more than happy for the attention, and he stroked for less than thirty seconds before he came. It was a decent orgasm, but pedestrian. Balls deep inside Amberly would have been preferable.
Stepping out and seeing her rubbing her own body had been titillating. And it also gave him insight into her heart. She still wanted him. He’d seen her catch her breath when he was near, and the puckered nipples had been a dead giveaway of her sexual state. It was what had ramped him up so bad, seeing her tits so perky and needy. Had she been with anyone while they’d been apart?
Dev rinsed his hair and body, stepping out onto the damp floor towel. Then he grabbed the bath towel and dried himself as well as he could. Already, his dick was semi-hard again. He needed to stop thinking about Amberly masturbating, her long legs spread for her hand.
Wrapping the towel around his hips, he stepped out of the bathroom, eyes going straight to Amberly on the bed. She was staring up at the ceiling, hands folded over her stomach.
“I hope I gave you enough time to do what you needed to do,” Dev said, feeling a little vindictive. He doubted she’d pleasured herself after he’d left. “I jacked off in the shower, but if you need anything, just let me know. I could go for a round two. I’ve missed your pretty…”
“Stop it, Devlin,” she snapped, rolling onto her side. “We’re not like that, anymore.”
“I’m just offering to help you out. We know how hard it can be.”
He grinned, leaving the pun for her. She huffed out a breath, but he could tell she was half-amused. “I’m going to sleep. I suggest you do too.”
Devlin knew they were in a serious situation, but needling Amberly had been a favorite pastime of his. She’d get madder and madder until she finally lashed out, then they’d have glorious make-up sex. It wasn’t as good as after-deployment sex, but damn close.
If they did sleep together, it was going to seriously mess with their emotions. He wasn’t even sure they should, he just knew he wanted to, and she wanted to. They’d been so good together…
Besides, if they were going to die on this mission, he wanted one more lovemaking session with her.
Dev pulled on a pair of underwear and lay down upon the mattress. It was lumpy, but smelled fresh, so he climbed beneath the sheets. It was a lot better than some places he’d slept over his lifetime.
Sliding his Beretta beneath his pillow, he rolled onto his side to watch her back. There was tension in the line of her spine, and she was guarding her breaths. She hadn’t fallen asleep yet.
He was very familiar with sexual frustration. It had prodded him every day since he’d been without her, and there were only so many times a man could masturbate. One session of lov
emaking took the edge off better than anything, and the relaxation lasted longer. Twice he’d gone out with other women, but they hadn’t appealed to him in that way. Every second they were out, he’d felt like he was cheating on Amberly.
They were divorced on paper, but not in his heart. He doubted his heart would ever give her up.
They were in a hell of a pickle right now. She thought he was a treasonous asshole, the worst thing he could be in her eyes. She was a diehard patriot, and would never forgive him for violating what she held dear.
If he told her about the black ops CIA team, he wasn’t even sure she’d believe him. It was such a far-fetched story.
Tomorrow, they would go figure out why this school was important. And maybe she’d take a chance on him again.
* * *
Amberly slept like shit. Images of Devlin climbing into the bed and making love with her plagued her sleep, and she woke suddenly with her hand down her panties, a gentle orgasm rolling over her. The room was dim and she doubted Devlin was awake, so she removed her hand and let her heartbeat and breathing settle.
This randy need was going to be the death of her. At almost forty, she should have been able to control her libido. She needed to focus on what they were here for, not her sexy ex-husband.
Images of him turning, towel in his hand and cock proudly pointing toward her flashed through her mind. How audacious was he, thinking he could flash his dick at her and they would fall back into bed together?
Was he really, though? Things had been fine until her body had reacted to his, and he’d walked out and seen her toying with herself.
What had she been thinking? How humiliating.
And now he was teasing her, flashing her with his body and saying inflammatory things meant to throw her off. It reminded her of when they were married. The man had teased her unmercifully. Devlin had always followed through with the teasing, though. The man could fuck her into unconsciousness.
Just the thought was enough to make her pause. Then the anger surged. They had a fugitive to find, damn it!