by Brynn Paulin
“We’ll still be friends. I mean, we won’t see each other every day, but—”
He cut me off with a shake of his head again, and my throat rumbled with what I was sure was a growl.
Ross grinned. His thumb stroked my cheek. “You’re adorable.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Do you know I love you?” I asked him suddenly.
His lips parted, then he smirked.
What? I mean, really, what?
Time for those lady balls…
“I do,” I said. “And that’s why. I can’t be friends with you anymore, not when I feel this way. And if I stay here, you’ll keep being my friend—just my friend. I won’t be able to stay away from you. And eventually, I’ll watch you meet someone and fall in love with them and I’ll be the third wheel and if I’m not here to watch that happen, it might not hurt as much.”
“You’re not going anywhere,” he signed to me. And I realized I’d lapsed into sign language during my speech. That happened sometimes when I was stressed. In return, Ross was using ASL back at me.
“I can’t—”
He made a swiping motion with his hand, and I stopped motioning.
“Rowena,” he finger-spelled. “I feel the same way about you. I love you so much I’d do anything to keep you safe. I’d burn the world to destroy anything that hurt you. You’re everything to me, don’t you know that. You’re the best part of my day every day. I can’t stand the hours we’re apart. If you’re moving anywhere, it’s in here with me.”
My eyes were wide. “What?”
“I love you.”
“You…love me?” I had to be dreaming. I closed my eyes and shook my head slowly.
Ross tapped beneath my lashes, silently telling me to look at him. When I did, I found him staring at me. “I love you,” he repeated, his lips and hands moving. “You’re my heart.”
Then without another word, he pulled me to him. My chest flattened against his. His hand went to the back of my neck and his long fingers tilted my head, angling it for the mouth that covered mine. I grasped his shirt, hanging on tight as a storm swirled around me. My legs shook, and I leaned into him. I couldn’t do anything but hold on as he ravaged my mouth.
Chapter Three
~ Ross ~
Row’s mouth was…every dream I’d ever had. If I never got to do more than kiss this sweet mouth…well, it would kill me. But the memory would somehow sustain me in the afterlife. She moaned, moving closer to me. My arm tightened behind her back.
Somewhere, at sometime, I must have done something good. God knew, there was little in my life that warranted the love of this woman.
But she loved me. She fucking loved me!
If she’d thought that would drive me away, she was damn wrong. If anything, I’d hold her even tighter to me. I needed her like the flower needed rain—not to be too cliché. Without her, I wouldn’t exist. I had no idea how she didn’t know that. Before the night was over, she’d know. I planned to make love to her clear through to tomorrow morning. If she let me.
Pulling back, I cupped her face with both hands and stared down at her. I drew my thumb lightly over the faint circle beneath her right eye and waited until she slowly opened her lids. Her glassy stares took a moment to focus on me then a flush colored her face. She bit her swollen bottom lip, and her gaze skittered away. I tapped her cheek, demanding attention. I wouldn’t let her close me out now.
“I love you,” I repeated. “I want to love you. All of you.”
She made a face. “Why?”
Why? Was she for real? “Why wouldn’t I?”
Row huffed. “I’m plain. I’m chunky. I can’t hear. I’ve never had sex, so I wouldn’t even know what to do or how to make you happy.” She shrugged, crossing her arms, and glanced away as if she hadn’t gutted me. How could she think that?
I turned her head, making her look at me. It took everything inside me to keep my fury out of my touch. I would never, ever, hurt her, but damn it, how could she think that?
“First of all, you are far from plain and you’re not chunky. Jesus, Row, you’re absolutely fucking gorgeous, and I want to sink into your curves and never leave. You’re just…” I shook my head, momentarily pressing my fist to my lips. I moved it before I spoke again, because I wanted her to absorb every single word. “Fuck, baby, when I’m with you, I spend more time hard than not. When I’m alone in my cold bed, I jack off to thoughts of you.”
“Me?” she mouthed, maybe not even realizing she’d half-spoken.
“Yes, you. No one but you. And as for not knowing how to please me, I guess we’ll learn together because there’s damn well only been you for me. I’ve been in love with you longer than is probably right. I would never be with someone else.”
Her brow furrowed. “You never said anything.”
“I wanted you to be ready. Finish school, feel settled. When I take you, I’m not letting you go. But don’t you even think I wasn’t right there beside you like any boyfriend would be. Fuck, we’ve had hundreds of dates. I’ve never missed an important event. Baby, you’ve got to know you’ve been the center of my universe. Even my brothers tease me about you—because we haven’t done more than hold hands.”
She smiled, ducking her head. She didn’t meet my eyes as she signed, “I sometimes pretended you were my boyfriend. I’ve wished it was true for so long.”
With my fingers under her chin, I brought her gaze back to me. “No more pretending.”
“Okay. I’m so—”
I pressed my fingers over her lips to stop the apology. “I’m your man. You’re mine. My girl. So neither of us need to pretend or fantasize over that anymore.”
My mouth took hers again, and she met my lips just as hungrily. One hand curled into my shirt while the other came up and fisted in the back of my hair. I held her tight, steadying her as she stood on tiptoe to get as close as possible to me. Lifting her, I placed her on the counter and wedged myself between her lush thighs.
I groaned, peppering kisses on her lips, across her cheek to her ear. I nipped as she dropped back her head, with a small cry. It was the sweetest balm to my needy soul, and to the deepest part of me, I wished she could hear the sounds we made together. Nothing made me more helpless than knowing I had billions and there was nothing I could do to help her, to make life easier.
Pulling back, I looked into her dazed eyes and passion-flushed face. “I want you.”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure?”
Her eyebrows drew together, like she wasn’t sure why I was asking. “Yes, I’m sure. I’ve always been sure. I’ve had chances to go out with other guys, Ross.”
Over my dead body!
“I always said no. I’ve always belonged to you.” She grinned ruefully. “Even when I didn’t think you’d ever know it.”
“Good.” Lifting her, I pulled her against my chest. As naturally as if we’d done this a million times, her arms and legs went around me. My own arm went beneath her, and my hand cupped the ass I’d wanted to touch for so long. I’d wrestled with my fucked up principles since the day she’d turned eighteen. She was old enough then. But besides knowing I’d have to deal with her overprotective brothers, I’d wanted to give her a chance to spread her wings—but not too much. Not enough that she’d leave me.
See? Fucked up.
And I knew as soon as I made her mine, I wanted to plant my kid in her. Bind her to me forever. That’s why I needed to know she was all in. I needed her fully committed to me. When she’d come of age, I hadn’t believed she was old enough to fully know her mind. To fully comprehend what I wanted from her and that it wasn’t a momentary thing, that I never intended to let her go.
Laying her on the bed, I knelt over her, straddling her hips. My dick pressed against my zipper, desperately trying to escape and get to her. She had to be able to see how much I wanted her.
She stared up at me with wide eyes, but she appeared utterly happy and not at all apprehensive.
“If we do this, it’s forever, Row. You have to know that. I’m never letting you go. You move; I move. Do you understand?”
“You’re so bossy,” she teased.
I fought a grin. “Do you understand?”
“Do I have a choice?”
I leaned forward on my hands, caging her body with mine, and stared down at her. “If I gave you a choice, what would you pick?”
Her breathing grew ragged with us in this position, and her chest arched toward me, though I wasn’t sure it was conscious. We’d been drawn together by instinct for longer than I wanted to contemplate.
“What are my choices, again?” she gasped.
I trailed the back of my finger along her jaw then down her delicate throat to the base where her pulse throbbed.
“To be mine.” I traced that same finger down the little bit of cleavage showing through her white blouse. Then I pulled away my hand and started to move away. “Or to not be mine.”
Row grabbed at me. “To be yours! You’re mine, too. But we can’t tell anyone yet.”
“Why the fuck not?”
Jesus, I’d waited for her for years. I wanted to shout to the world that she was mine.
Chapter Four
~ Rowena ~
After his exclamation, which I knew had to be loud from the expression on his face, Ross started kissing me again. Over and over, barely giving me time to breathe, let alone reply. And how could I tell him I was worried how my brothers would take it. They were his friends. I mean, Bryce was his best friend. I didn’t want to ruin that.
“Ross…Ross…” I murmured when his lips lifted for the briefest moment. I had to answer him, even if it ruined this. My chest squeezed at the thought of him getting up and walking away.
His lips were swollen, his dark brown eyes swirling with his desire for me. For me! All this time, I’d tortured myself, and he’d wanted me?
“You’re mine, and I want everyone to know it,” he said. Goosebumps erupted across my skin, and I wished more than I had ever wished for anything that I could hear him and not just read his lips.
I wanted to be his. I’d wanted it for so long, even if I was afraid. Me being deaf was a big deal. And over the years, he’d gone from just being my brothers’ friend to being my confidante to being a big-time billionaire. I wasn’t so sure how I’d fit in with his life in the limelight.
“No more talking,” I said, pulling his head back to me. His neck vibrated beneath my palm, but I wasn’t sure if he’d spoken or if he’d made another sound. Then his mouth was on me, his hands caressing my body intimately for the first time. I groaned when he cupped my breast, the feeling so exquisite, so perfect. Pleasure flowered in my womb. My core clenched, and as he flicked his thumb over my nipple, I writhed beneath him. I needed our clothes off. I needed to feel him skin-to-skin.
My hands went to the buttons of my blouse, frantically pulling at them, not even caring if I popped one or all of them off. As if reading me, Ross knelt up and yanked off his shirt. He tossed it to the floor, and I stared. I’d seen him in a swimsuit before, but I’d never been this close. Those eight square cuts in his abdomen mesmerized me. I wasn’t in nearly as fantastic shape as he was. Then I saw it.
Rowena written in beautiful script right over his heart. My…name…right there on his pec.
My hands froze, and I bit my lip meeting his gaze. I reached out to touch it.
“Oh, no, you don’t,” I read across his lips. “We’re getting you undressed.”
Where my hands had stopped, his began pushing the buttons free.
“My name is on you.”
He nodded as if it was nothing. “Yes.”
“But…”
“Why wouldn’t I? I’m yours.”
“How long have you had that?”
“Five years.”
“Five years?”
“Yes.” He finished opening my blouse, spreading it wide to reveal my white bra with delicate lace trim. It was simple and almost plain. And I wasn’t so sure my panties even matched. It’s not like I’d expected to have sex today.
His fingers stroked along my exposed skin, and I forgot all about tattoos and underwear, sexy or not. Ross’ chocolate-brown stare consumed me. His breathing seemed ragged as his chest rose and fell erratically. He shifted to look at my face. “You’re gorgeous.”
Remembering his eight-pack and my slightly rounded belly, I started to shake my head, but he grasped my chin. “Listen to me.”
I snorted.
His eyes narrowed. “You know what I mean.” His chin tilted down. “You are gorgeous,” he repeated. “You take my breath away. Even when we’re not together, you’re always in my thoughts. I want to beat away any man who looks at you. I want to hide you away, safe for only me. I know I can’t. But I want to.”
His bent fingers dragged up my belly from the waistband of my panties to the bottom edge of my bra. I sucked in a breath. I shivered, my stomach sucking in. He watched the trail of his knuckles before looking up into my eyes again. “So soft. So beautiful.”
“Ross, please.”
His hands left me and I wanted to yank them back, but then I saw them on his belt. My teeth sank into my bottom lip as he opened it. Then yanked open his jeans to free himself. No underwear. I gasped, seeing his cock for the first time. Wide-eyed, I followed his movements as he shoved off his pants and socks.
He moved to stand beside the bed and reached a hand toward me. I put my fingers in his. When I stood before him, still a little dazed that this was happening and Ross was naked before me, he started pushing off my opened shirt. I shrugged to help him. It fluttered to the carpet, and he reached for my jeans.
My hands covered his.
I watched him until his gaze met mine.
“Let me,” I said. His hands fell away. Mine shook as I popped open the metal button then shoved down the zipper. “I want to be equal. All in for you.”
“I know you are, baby.” He cupped my face then brushed his lips across mine before kissing my shoulder. He pushed the strap there to the side. His lips pressed to the curve, sucked at my collarbone then started down the slope toward my nipple.
Shimmying, I worked my jeans down my hips then toed them the rest of the way off. My fingers threaded into his silky hair.
“I’ve never done this,” I whispered—I thought I did anyway. There was no telling how loud or quiet it was.
“Oh, baby,” Ross mouthed, those dark, hungry eyes on me. He swung me into his arms and placed me on the bed again. “How could there be anyone for me but you? You’ve been my everything for so long. By the time I was even interested in sex, I was in completely love with you. I’ve waited.” He shook his head. “So long.”
My eyes burned, tears blurring my vision. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
He caressed my cheek. “I wanted to give you time.”
I breathed hard, so torn between desire and anger. “You can’t make decisions for me.” My hands flew as I spoke. “I might not hear, but I think. I’m completely able to make choices for myself.”
I couldn’t believe he was naked and he was near naked, and we were about to have an argument.
He grabbed my hands and kissed them. Then he rested his chin on them. “I know. I know you’re a woman who has her own mind. I never wanted to imply otherwise.”
I could be mad, or I could finally be with the man I loved. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
I nodded. “Okay.” I smiled weakly, too overwhelmed by the many emotions surrounding us to fully express any of them. “Let’s do this.”
“Let’s do this?”
“Do you have trouble hearing?” I teased, moving my hands from his grasp. “Maybe some signing? It’s time to lose our virginities, don’t you think?”
“It’s more than that,” he motioned back. “It’s us coming together. Committing. Do you understand that?”
“Yes.”
“Forever.” He started kissing my body again. My bra
was off a moment later, his hands and mouth on my breasts. I trembled at the tremors of electric sensation that sizzled through me now that he finally touched me intimately. My belly clenched and my cleft was a freaking river of need. His rigid cock pressed into my hip while his hard fingers molded the mounds. At least, I knew he needed me just as much as I did him.
He tugged and gently squeezed while his mouth sucked and licked, first one nipple then the other. Sounds vibrated in my throat as I clutched at him, holding him to my chest.
My knees lifted around his hips as I struggled to get closer to him. Everything felt so good. So perfect. The energy surging through me burned in my pussy like a arousing fire to ignite all my nerve endings. My clit pulsed. I needed him to touch me there. To fill me. Each draw on the tips of my breasts, each flick of his fingers over them pushed me closer to the bliss right beyond my reach.
I wiggled out of my panties then groaned when I cradled his hips between my thighs again, this time feeling him against my swollen, damp folds.
“Ross, please, I need you. We can be slow next time. I need you,” I repeated.
He lifted his head, letting my nipple free of his mouth with a hard pop. “I want you to be ready.”
“I am ready. Touch me; you’ll see. Touch me,” I begged.
Ross slid a long finger along my folds. The rough tip grazed my clit, and I went off, my hips jerking upward as I went into orbit. My vision blurred. My nails dug into his shoulders, and my throat burned with the sensation of screaming out. The heady waves took me by surprise. Ross took me by surprise.
But I wanted more.
Taking me at my word, he covered me, aligning his cock to my center. Supporting himself on his arms, he stared into my eyes and pushed forward.
“I love you,” he said. “When I take you, you’re mine. Mine, Row, Forever.”
“Do it. I love you, too. Ross, yes!” I cried as he surged forward. There was a sharp bite of pain, but elation overrode it. I didn’t feel anything but happy.
His thumb tapped along my cheek, right beneath my eye, signaling me to open. I hadn’t even realized I closed them. He stared down at me when my lids lifted.