Say You Want Me

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Say You Want Me Page 14

by Van Mol, Stefanie


  “I told you he was mine, bitch.”

  Jonathan

  The concert is over. I’m dripping with sweat and decide to take a quick shower in my dressing room before I head home to Camille. Jesus, I’ve missed her. In the short amount of time I spent with her, I’ve gotten used to her being around all the time. It all happened so fast, I still can’t wrap my head around it. But there’s one thing I still need to discuss with her. Full Moon has gotten an offer to do a tour abroad. Almost all the members of the group have agreed to it, and they’re waiting for my answer. I told them I want to discuss this with Camille, but we’re getting closer and closer to the departure date and I still haven’t asked Camille. The truth is that I want her to come with me. I know it’s selfish, but that’s what I really want.

  My mind was on my brother during the entire concert, but it was also great to be back at my beloved drum kit. As I walk toward my dressing room, some people here and there stop me to chat and ask about my brother. More than ever I realize that it’s not only the members of the band who are there for me – every single member of the entourage is becoming a part of the Full Moon family.

  But right now, I want nothing more than to see Camille. Tonight’s the night I’m going to ask her to come with me on tour. I know it’s a big step, but I’m convinced we can make this work. I can’t say goodbye to her again. I’m a nervous wreck, because I have no idea how she will react.

  I open the door, and the look of Sofia lying on the couch of my dressing room scares the crap out of me. My mouth opens in shock. How the hell did she get in here? It’s not so much the fact that she’s lying on the couch, it’s the fact that she’s butt naked that scares me the most. She looks at me triumphantly, and it takes all my strength not to punch that grin off her face.

  “Sofia, what on earth are you doing here?”

  Angry, I walk over to her and snatch a blanket from somewhere to cover her up. The last thing I want is for someone to see her like this. Not that I care if anyone sees her naked, but I do mind what they’ll think about me. My old reputation hasn’t been forgotten just yet.

  “Jonathan, don’t be a prude. I know you want this as badly as I do.”

  I think my blood is seriously starting to boil. The more she talks, the more I want to punch her.

  “Sofia, I think it’s time you realize that whatever you think there was between us, is over,” I sigh, annoyed. “I have a girlfriend.”

  Her eyes widen and she stares at me in disbelief.

  “I thought you didn’t do the girlfriend thing.”

  “Not with you, no,” I say angrily.

  Sofia jumps up from the couch and marches towards me.

  “Seriously, Jonathan, that bitch can never give you what I can.”

  ‘Don’t you dare call her a bitch. Camille is way better than you’ll ever be. I think it’s time for you to leave now, before I say things I might regret.”

  I turn around and open the door of the dressing room.

  “Mike!” I yell.

  A few seconds later Mike appears in the doorway—he must have heard the urgency in my voice.

  He smiles at me and says, “Not happy with the gift?”

  “What?” I ask, shocked.

  He frowns his eyebrows and looks over my shoulder. “What is she doing here?” He looks back at me. “Where’s Camille?”

  “What on earth are you talking about? When I came here after the concert, Sofia was lying on my couch. Stark naked. Camille is out on a date with Karen.”

  “No, she’s not. Camille wanted to surprise you. She walked in here about half an hour ago; I let her in myself.”

  My head snaps in Sofia’s direction. I don’t like the direction this story is going in.

  “Where is she?”

  Sofia looks like she doesn’t have anything to do with it, but I can see right through her little show. She’s behind all of this, and she knows where Camille is.

  “I have no idea where she is.”

  “I swear if you as much as laid one hand on her, I will kill you myself.”

  The look in Sofia’s eyes changes. What did she think was going to happen? That I’d run straight back to her loving arms if she got rid of Camille? I think this woman’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic. Mike takes a step toward her, and now she looks panicked. He takes both of her arms in an iron grip and shakes her.

  “Where is Camille?”

  She bites her lip, and I can see her gaze drift to the closet a few times. Before she can stop me, I make for the closet door and open it. There she is: Camille, lying on the floor, curled up into a ball.

  “Fuck!” I shout. “Mike, call an ambulance. And make sure that bitch over there disappears before I kill her.”

  The other band members must have heard the commotion, because John walks in with Max right behind him.

  “What’s going on?”

  Mike explains everything to them while he’s still restraining Sofia. Max takes his cellphone and calls both the ambulance and the police. It feels like an eternity before they arrive, but I never leave Camille’s side. I can see her getting paler every minute.

  Max crouches down next to me. “The ambulance will be here any minute.”

  I nod absently, but my eyes stay focused on Camille. I’m sitting on the floor with her head cradled carefully in my lap. I try to calm down and keep telling myself that she’ll be all right, but when the blood trickling from the back of her head starts to color my pants red, I begin to panic. I keep stroking her hair.

  “You’ll be okay, Camille, just hold on a little longer.”

  * * *

  I don’t remember anything from the whole ride over here. Luckily, Max was there to calm me down. When the paramedic told me I couldn’t ride with them in the ambulance, I was about to lose my shit. Max was able to calm me down, and he drove me here in his car. All types of doom scenarios clutter my mind.

  I’m sitting in the waiting room, waiting for some news. Mike called Karen, and she in turn called Camille’s dad. He’s on his way over here. I pace back and forth in the waiting room. I’m responsible for all this. If it wasn’t for me and my crazy history with Sofia, Camille wouldn’t be here right now. The other band members try to make me see reason, but I just know deep down that it’s the truth. Even if I didn’t have this crazy history with Sofia, if I hadn’t left my brother behind Camille never would have come here to look for me. She wouldn’t have ended up here in the hospital. But now is not the time to think of the what ifs. What happened, happened; there’s nothing I can change about that. I can only hope Camille will make it through this okay.

  A doctor walks into the waiting room, and before he can open his mouth I accost him with my questions.

  “Is there any news about Camille?”

  He looks me up and down. “Are you a relative?”

  “I’m her boyfriend.”

  He hesitates for a second and keeps looking at me like he can’t believe Camille would choose someone like me as her boyfriend. But he starts talking anyway.

  “Everything will be okay. She has a concussion and an injury at the back of her head. We sewed up the wound and she’s getting medication for the concussion. We’re taking her to her room right now. She will probably be asleep for a little while because of the medication we gave her. The nurse will come and get you once she’s settled in, and then you can go and see her.”

  “Thanks, doctor.”

  Max comes to stand beside me. “That’s great news, right?”

  “I won’t stop worrying until I see her with my own eyes.”

  Camille

  My eyes flutter open and I blink a few times. The entire room is dark. I can barely see a thing. I try to lift my head but regret it immediately. A stabbing pain shoots through my head. Bits and parts of what happened flash before my eyes. I remember why I’m here.

  Sofia attacking me in the dressing room, the stabbing pain in the back of my head—everything’s coming back to me. My guess is I’m at
the hospital. My eyes adjust to the dark, and when I look around the room I can see Jonathan’s silhouette sitting in the chair by the window.

  He’s asleep. A small smile curls my lips when I hear him snore a little. The door to the room swings open, and a young nurse comes walking in.

  “Hello, Camille, how are you feeling?”

  “I have a huge headache, but other than that I feel fine.”

  “I’ll give you some painkillers. Try to get some more sleep.”

  I point to Jonathan. “Has he been here long?”

  She smiles, looks over at Jonathan, and then back at me. “He hasn’t left your side ever since you got here.”

  In her eyes I can see the look most girls get when they see Jonathan. But before I can get jealous, she injects something into my IV drip, and I fall asleep immediately. But I’m sure I’m smiling in my sleep. Because that one sentence the nurse said keeps playing in my head over and over and over again.

  He hasn’t left your side ever since you got here.

  * * *

  My eyes are still closed, but I can hear voices. One of the voices is most definitely Jonathan’s, but of the other voice I’m not so sure. It must be someone from the band. I recognize it, but the person’s too far away to be sure which one it is. Maybe Max?

  “Has the doctor said anything more today?”

  No, I’m sure it’s Max.

  “She’ll recover completely. She has a severe concussion and the wound on her head needed nine stitches.” His voice is shaking when he continues. “This is all my fault, Max. I’m the reason she’s lying in this bed.”

  “You can’t let yourself be haunted like that, Sticks.”

  “Maybe it’s time for me to head home. Because of my choice for music, I almost lost my brother, and now I almost lost Camille. For the second time, Max. I can’t keep doing that to her.”

  Even I can hear the sadness in his voice, and my heart bleeds for him. Why does he think he’s to blame? It’s not his fault that Sofia’s crazy. The last thing I want is for him to give up his music. I know how much he loves his music, and I don’t want him to give it up for me. I don’t want to be the reason he will live unhappily, just because he chooses me. I can’t and won’t let that happen. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself, if every time he looks at me he’d see the choice he made that influenced his entire life.

  “You can’t just give up the band, Sticks. We’ve worked too hard for this.”

  “Whatever happens, Max, Camille will come first from now on.”

  “I understand how you feel, but please just talk to her before you take such a life changing decision. I’m sure the two of you will find a solution in which you don’t have to give up music.”

  “She will never leave her father behind, Max, and besides, I don’t want her to have to make that choice.”

  I open my eyes, and Jonathan immediately hovers over me. He looks at me, and he seems devastated. His eyes are red and swollen.

  Has he been crying?

  He’s cradling my hand in his. He brings both our hands to his mouth and kisses the palm of mine.

  “How are you feeling?”

  I can hear the concern in his voice.

  “Some headache, but other than that I feel fine.”

  He leans forward and gives me a soft kiss. “You have no idea how nice it is to hear your voice. I’ve been worried about you, baby.”

  “Glad to see you back among the living, Camille,” Max says cheerfully. “I’ll leave you two alone for a minute, but I know the rest of the band will want to see you too.” He winks at me before he opens the door and leaves. I look over to Jonathan and with my free hand I stroke his cheek. He leans into my touch. My whole hand starts to tingle by our innocent caress. His eyes, filled with hurt, are focused on me. He has no idea I heard the entire conversation a while ago.

  “Your father is waiting outside. He’s been here for a while, but he just went out to grab a cup of coffee. I’ll go get him; he’ll be so glad to see you awake.”

  I know he’s not ready to talk to me yet, maybe I’m not ready either. So for now, I let him go. Only a few minutes later, the door swings open, and my dad comes running in. He heads straight for me and pulls me into a hug.

  “My God, Camille, don’t ever scare me like that again.”

  My eyes start to fill with tears. I tried to be strong in front of Jonathan, but I can’t hold them in any longer. We should all be glad it turned out okay. It could have ended a lot worse. Dad carefully sits down on the edge of the bed.

  “Everything will be okay, Camille. Jonathan told me Sofia has been arrested. She won’t bother you again.”

  For a while we just sit there in silence, together.

  “When will I be able to leave the hospital?”

  “The doctor told us that everything’s looking fine. You should be discharged this afternoon.”

  “Can I go home with you?”

  My dad looks at me in confusion. “Don’t you want to spend the rest of your vacation here? I think it’s obvious you made some friends here. Don’t you want to stay with Jonathan?”

  I sigh deeply. No matter how much this hurts, I can’t let Jonathan drop his music for me. After hearing the conversation between Jonathan and Max earlier I know that Jonathan can’t make that choice, so I have to make it for him. Me and my dad have been close ever since my mom died, so I just have to tell him honestly.

  “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

  “Absolutely, I don’t ever want to come between him and his passion for music,” I say determined. “But you have to promise me not to tell Jonathan. I want to tell him myself.”

  “If that’s what you want.” My dad kisses me on the forehead.

  There’s a soft knock at the door, and when it opens I can see Jonathan come in, followed by all the other band members. Everyone showed up for a visit, and they all look so happy to see me.

  “I’m glad to see you’re better,” Joe says. “We’re glad you’re okay.”

  The entire group starts to talk. Jonathan takes a seat next to me, but I can see that he’s glad the band is here too. Even though I feel a stab through my heart now, I’m sure this is the right decision. This group is his family, and I don’t want to be the person that comes between them.

  When I can no longer suppress a big yawn, Jonathan looks up at me, worried. He shoots the rest of the group a glance and says: “Maybe it’s time we let Camille get some rest.”

  Everyone says goodbye and promises to come visit me soon. Dad looks at me, still with that worried look on his face. He kisses me on the forehead again.

  “I’m going to have a quick bite in the cafeteria. I’ll be right back.”

  “Do you mind if I go with your dad? I haven’t eaten all day,” Jonathan asks.

  “Sure, go with him. The nurse will be here soon to remove my IV, and then I will take my time to get dressed. It’ll be so good to go home.”

  He gives me a quick kiss and disappears into the hallway, following my dad. Jonathan has just left the room when the nurse enters.

  “I see they finally left you alone. Shall I take out that IV?”

  “Yes, please.”

  She removes the IV very carefully and leaves the room after she’s done. I make my way to the small bathroom and grab the bag with clothes Karen gave to my dad. It’ll be so good to have normal clothes on instead of this hospital gown.

  I’m still in the bathroom when I hear someone opening the door and calling in: “Camille?”

  I open the bathroom door and see Vincent standing in the hospital room. He looks so much better than a few weeks ago. Of course you can still see that he was very sick, but it’s clear he’s on the way to recovery.

  “Vincent, you’re looking so good.”

  He walks toward me and pulls me into a hug. He pulls so hard that I almost can’t breathe.

  “Someone is clearly happy to see me,” I say cheerfully.

  He lets go of me a little, but his o
ne arm stays around my waist and his other hands moves up to my face. He puts the palm of his hand against my cheek and looks at me with the most intense eyes I’ve ever seen.

  “I’m so glad you’re okay. After everything you’ve done for me, I will forever be thankful.”

  Tears well in my eyes. His eyes stay focused on me, and slowly the atmosphere between us changes. His face inches closer to mine, and before I realize it his soft lips are touching my mouth. I don’t know what comes over me, but I kiss him back. I know that Vincent has been secretly in love with me for years, but he never acted on it. I think all the emotions of the last few months combined with the events of the past few days made him forget about everything for a minute.

  We’re still kissing when the door opens.

  “Hey, Camille, I got you—”

  The voice falters, and Vincent and I stop kissing each other. Vincent freezes in my arms.

  “What the fuck is going on here?”

  Jonathan’s angry voice blasts through the hospital room. I look up at Vincent, and all I see is panic. It never was my plan to drop Jonathan like this, but maybe it’s the only way. If I can make him believe that Vincent and I were always together, that this was our plan from the start, then he will surely let me go. I know there’s no other way for him to give me up. He won’t just walk away because I tell him to.

  I turn around and try not to look into Jonathan’s eyes. It hurts me to do this, but I have no other choice. Talking will be difficult with the lump forming in my throat. I have to toughen up; Jonathan can’t be allowed to suspect that this is killing me. Jonathan looks back from me to Vincent. His eyebrows knit together, and he looks so angry.

  “I’m sorry, Jonathan. We never wanted you to find out like this.”

  “What?”

  Both Jonathan and Vincent look at me like I’ve lost my mind.

  I take a deep breath and try to stick to the plan without crying. “I’m not in love with you, Jonathan. I did all this to save Vincent. He needed a donor and the doctor told me the odds were better if it was a relative, someone belonging to his immediate family. Someone like his brother.”

 

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