Redbeard groaned and Kitt scoffed.
Cass merely shook her head and rolled her eyes. “I’m sure. But I suppose it’s time to let bygones be bygones.”
“Of course,” replied Hawke, his gaze hardening.
Tone E coughed as Mr. Burton resumed his perch, then broke into a smile. “So, now that we have quorum, Captain Cass, how would you like to proceed?”
Cass nodded. “I’ve already had input from the other captains, but I’d like Harry’s opinion, too.”
Harry straightened with pride, his ears standing to attention. “Okay, I’m ready.”
“I’m of two minds, Harry, and I’m not sure what to do. On the one hand, with the Big T in charge of the Federation now, we could choose to rebuild Haven within its borders, but…”
“But you don’t know who will be in charge after him?” Harry asked.
“Exactly.” Cass smiled. “See, you’re a smart captain.”
“I think,” Harry started, then waited to see if he were speaking out of turn. Everyone looked on, expectant, so he continued. “I think there is something to be said for safety, but...”
He trailed off, collecting his thoughts. “There’s something more to be said for friends. Wouldn’t Haven be safer if we could all be friends? The Feds and the pirates? And how do we do that if we aren’t living together as one?”
Tone E laughed, clapping his hands together. “Wow, brilliant, Harry!”
“Hmm, ‘e’s got a point,” Redbeard said sideways to Kitt.
The homo lyncis sapien merely grunted, not seeming entirely convinced.
Cass made a show of chewing on her lip, considering. “Harry, you’ve proven again and again to have the biggest heart of any of us. Your instincts set you apart, and given where we are today, I think that’s something worth listening to.”
Harry waited, soaking in the compliments, feeling his heart swelling even bigger in his chest. He’d meant every word he’d said. In the end, above all else, friends were what mattered most.
“Well?” asked Tone E. “Have you decided, Cass?”
“I guess so.”
“And?”
“With your permission, sir, I recommend we make Star Station Alpha our new Haven.”
Tone E nodded, then turned toward Hawke. “Vice Admiral, do you have any objections to hosting a pirate colony on this station?”
Hawke appeared thoughtful. “Erm. Uh, well …. not if they promise to behave and follow the law.”
“Then it’s settled, my friends!” Tone E clapped his hands together, a giant grin spreading across his face. “Welcome home!”
“Yay!” Harry cheered, then paused to glance up at Redbeard.
“Oy, ‘Arry, wha’d I be tellin’ ya?”
“Real pirates don’t say yay?”
Redbeard grinned. “Exactly. Only real Dread Captains be allowed ta be sayin’ such.”
“Oh, right,” Harry replied, smiling back as he thought it over. “Oh wait! You’re talking about me!”
“Oh, barf,” Kitt said, rolling her eyes. “Spare me the happy ending, already.”
“Wait!” Harry exclaimed, suddenly remembering that not everyone were back to being friends yet. “What’s going to happen with Djerke?”
Redbeard scowled and looked at Tone E.
“Hmm, well … what do you think should happen, Harry?”
Harry thought for a moment. “I think ... family matters even more than friends.”
Redbeard muttered curses. “Oh, Blimey, I knew he’d be sayin’ that!”
“Hah!” mocked Kitt. “Told you.”
“You’ll let him live?” Harry directed this at Redbeard.
Redbeard sighed. “I dunno. I guess so … I s’pose if he stays with me sis, there ain’t much mischief he can get up ta isolated out thar on me home world. And if he does mess up again, me sister can handle him, anyway.”
Tone E laughed. “That’s the spirit, big guy.”
“Big guy?” Cass repeated, breaking into a rare grin. “You’re even bigger than Red, you big galactic supervisory oaf!”
Harry’s heart nearly burst, the moment was so perfect—everyone getting along. Nothing blowing up. And then he realized something.
“So wait,” he said. “If I’m a captain, does that mean I get a ship?”
Tone E looked to Cass, quirking a brow.
Harry followed his gaze.
Cass shrugged, then nodded. “Sure, why not? You can have the SS Bray, Harry. Congratulations.”
Again, Kitt snickered. “He’s stuck with that malfeasant computer, hah!”
“Yay!” Harry exclaimed, not caring what Kitt thought. “I get to go on missions with my friend, Node? Awesome!” He and Node usually got along well enough. And while he hadn’t ever had the opportunity to ride the captain, the plus was that as a captain himself, he’d still get to ride in her command chair!
His command chair. Which didn’t exactly fit his donkey bottom, at the moment. But he was confident Kitt or Bieber could fix that easily enough. After all, they’d both created some pretty cool stuff in the time he’d known them.
Sure, maybe Node would still be a little sore over being left behind yet again on the last mission, despite his remote bot, and maybe he’d want more control over his real body, which happened to be the ship … but Harry was sure they could work things out.
One problem at a time. And what a problem it was!
Harry was the new captain of the SS Bray! Soooo cool.
So badass.
—The End…?
(turn the page)
Grab the BONUS Epilogue!
Of Donkeys, Cogs, and Hot Bodies(Book Three)
Want to know what happens to Spiner?
After parting ways with the intrepid crew of the SS Bray, Spiner is off to, well … somewhere. Want to find out what that’s all about?
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A New Chapter Begins…
The galaxy is a dangerous place. Even for pirates.
Dread Captain Harry is revered as a hero back home on Cern, where his tribe of donkey-riding symbionts have resided peacefully for centuries.
Steve knows better. Unfortunately, it’s his job to play chaperone as youth campers leave their planet for the first time to visit his despised rival.
En route to New Haven, they quickly learn that the galaxy’s a dangerous and chaotic place. But for Steve, bigger problems loom than lethal space marauders.
They’ve all been invited to join Uncle Harry’s Pirate Academy. It’s a golden chance to expose Harry as a fraud, but that begs the bigger question … what exactly is a pirate, anyway?
Join Steve, Harry, and a braying cast of admirers as they try to find out the answer to that and more. BUY or BURRO your copy of KITTYWAMPUS today.
About the Author: Ethan Freckleton
I live with my partner Jennifer, children Tristan and Emeline, and our cat Midnight. Once upon a time, I plied my trade as a middle manager in the software biz, where moonlighting clauses were common.
Whether I’m writing self-help books, songs, or absurdist low-brow comedies, my works embody the authentic and sometimes irreverent perspectives of a person who has tried to live in two worlds at once: one of professional and technical excellence, and another of romantic abandon, in search of a world that values love over fear.
About the Author: J. R. Frontera
J. R. Frontera has been telling stories in some form or another since she could hold a crayon and draw. Her love of science fiction and fantasy originated with her early exposure to the worlds of Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, and Dune. When she’s not writing, momming, podcasting, or working at her full-time job, she’s often horseback riding, playing videogames, or cosplaying. Find out more about J. R. Frontera at jrfrontera.com.
A Final Word
Foremost, thank you SO MUCH for reading and enjoying our books! This particular book concludes the (first)
Starship Ass trilogy. Do you want more? We need your support—please, please, PLEASE leave honest reviews for these books!
By doing so, you can help these books find more readers, so that we can justify investing another year into making another trilogy with this cast of our favorite characters.
To keep in touch with us, Ethan and JR, or to sign up for our mailing lists, please visit:
https://www.ethanfreckleton.com
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Starship Ass Complete Omnibus Page 66