by Blake Pierce
Riley watched through the window as the girls finally left the house and headed for their bus stop. She found herself thinking about how much she hated Halloween. She wasn’t sure exactly why.
Maybe she was troubled by the idea of kids going around pretending to be monsters. After years of working as a BAU agent, Riley had long since learned that the world was much too full of genuine monsters as it was. It struck her as kind of perverse to go inventing make-believe monsters just for fun.
Of course, kids also dressed up as more positive characters on Halloween—superheroes, for instance. But Riley didn’t like that either. As far as she was concerned, the world needed real heroes, not phony ones in capes and tights. More than that, there should be more people who could be heroic about the little things in life.
Like getting their kids off to school, Riley thought with a smile as April and Jilly rounded a corner and disappeared from sight.
The truth was, being a crime fighter never struck Riley as an especially heroic activity. The everyday tasks of being a parent often seemed much more formidable than ridding the world of actual human monsters. Those villains could often be caught, their rampages put to an end. The job of parenting went on and on, requiring an unflagging effort.
Not that I’m much of a hero at parenting.
But at least she’d managed to navigate her kids through breakfast, out of the house, and on their way to school this morning. With no immediate assignment at BAU, she’d taken the day off.
And she had some special plans.
She smiled at the thought of it …
A rendezvous.
It seemed odd to think of it that way, particularly considering who she was going to meet for lunch. But an important relationship in her life had taken an unexpected turn recently. And now …
We’re dating, I guess.
She was glad to have the rest of the morning to get herself ready.
When she went to her bedroom, she picked up her cell phone from the nightstand and saw that she’d received a voicemail message.
When she played the message, she heard a familiar gruff, husky voice.
“Hey, Agent Paige. Van Roff here. Call me.”
She felt a sharp tingle of anticipation and worry. From the sound of the caller’s tone, he didn’t have good news.
The question was, did Riley want to hear what he had to say right now?
She sat down on her bed looking at the cell phone, trying to decide whether to call him back or not.
Van Roff was a technical analyst in the Seattle FBI field office. Riley had worked with the brilliant, overweight computer geek in the past, sometimes on less than legitimate tasks. She’d learned that Van was willing to bend and even break the rules on her behalf from time to time, especially if the problem at hand interested him.
Now was one of those times.
Riley sighed as she remembered how her then-partner Jenn Roston had disappeared during the last case they’d worked on together, leaving behind a cryptic note that hadn’t explained anything at all:
Riley,
I’m sorry.
Jenn
It had come as a terrible shock, and it had gotten Riley into trouble with her boss, Brent Meredith, who rightly suspected that Riley knew more about Jenn’s disappearance than she was willing to say.
Jenn had confided to Riley that she had been raised by a sinister foster parent who called herself “Aunt Cora,” and who trained children under her care to become master criminals in her own criminal organization.
Jenn had escaped Aunt Cora’s clutches long enough to become a brilliant and promising young BAU agent. Riley had been the only person whom Jenn had told about her sinister past. Riley also knew that Jenn still heard from Aunt Cora from time to time, and that the diabolical woman kept trying to draw Jenn back under her control.
After the case was solved, Riley had received a package containing Jenn’s badge and gun and another cryptic note:
I tried.
Riley had known right then that Jenn had fallen back into Aunt Cora’s dark world. Riley had dutifully delivered Jenn’s badge and the weapon to Brent Meredith, who had already received a letter of resignation from her.
As far as Meredith was concerned, Jenn’s relationship with the BAU was over. He had no interest in finding out where she’d gone or why. He didn’t care if he ever heard her name again.
But Riley couldn’t help hoping maybe she could reach Jenn somehow—maybe even help her get away from Aunt Cora for good.
Certain that Van Roff would find this puzzle interesting enough to attract his considerable skills, Riley had turned to him for help.
And now he was responding.
I’d better find out what he’s got to say, she thought.
She punched in Van Roff’s number, and he picked up immediately.
“I wish I had better news for you, Agent Paige,” Van said.
“Have you been able to find out anything at all?” Riley asked.
“Not a thing,” Van said. “You mentioned that maybe I could find something in her personnel records—something about that foster home where she’d grown up.”
Riley nodded and said, “Jenn told me there was something about that in her records. The foster home closed up long ago, but even so I thought maybe any information at all about it would give you a clue—”
Van interrupted her, “Agent Paige, there aren’t any records. Somebody hacked into the FBI files and deleted Roston’s personnel files. It’s like she never worked for the FBI at all.”
Riley felt light-headed with shock.
Van continued, “Somebody doesn’t want anybody to know what happened to her. And whoever that ‘somebody’ is, they’ve got great hacking skills. Zapping away FBI records is quite a feat.”
“What about that address I gave you?”
Riley meant the return address on the package that had contained the gun and the badge—an address in Dallas, Texas.
“Phony,” Van said. “There’s no such place. And I used every trick in the book to find out if she might still be in Dallas. I can’t find her there or anywhere else. It’s like she’s disappeared off the face of the earth.”
Riley felt thoroughly defeated now.
“OK,” she said. “Thanks, Van.”
“Don’t mention it.”
Then something else occurred to Riley.
“Van, I’ve told you a few things about Jenn that nobody else is supposed to know. I hope you’ll—”
Van interrupted in an incongruously cheerful voice.
“Well, it’s so nice of you to call, Agent Paige. I really appreciate it. I like staying in touch, keeping tabs on each other.”
Riley smiled a little. She knew this was Van Roff’s way of saying this whole conversation had never taken place as far as he was concerned. She could always trust Van to keep a secret.
“Goodbye, Van,” she said. “And thanks again.”
She ended the call and slouched miserably on the edge of her bed. She remembered something Van had said just now.
“Somebody doesn’t want anybody to know what happened to her.”
Riley had a hunch that that “somebody” was Jenn herself. Jenn didn’t want to be found. And if Van Roff couldn’t find her, nobody else possibly could.
She’s gone, Riley thought. Jenn’s really gone.
Riley struggled for a moment with feelings of sadness, anger, and betrayal.
There’s nothing I can do about it, she told herself. Jenn made her own choice. It’s not up to me.
Meanwhile, Riley did have something pleasant to look forward to. She got up from the bed and went to her closet to find something nice to wear for her lunch date. As she looked through her clothes, she smiled at the irony of wanting to look her best today.
How odd, she thought.
Here she was, trying to impress a guy who already knew her better than almost anyone ever had.
CHAPTER TWO
They had ordered their sandwiches, and
now Riley sat quietly, looking across the table at her partner.
Bill gazed back at her.
She smiled, and he smiled back.
Neither of them said anything, but it didn’t seem to matter.
At least we’re not uncomfortable, she thought.
In fact, things seemed very comfortable between them right now.
They were seated in a cozy, private booth in Hannigan’s Public House. After years and years of grabbing something to eat on the run, eating in grubby cafés and fast food joints, or ordering pizza in motel rooms, this was quite a change for the two of them—or at least the two of them together. She couldn’t remember their ever having lunch together in a place like this.
Certainly not when we weren’t working on a case.
She was pleased that Bill had chosen Hannigan’s for their …
Date, she reminded herself. We’re actually on a date.
In fact, this seemed almost quaintly like a traditional date. Bill had even picked her up at home and driven her here. She was also pleased to see that, like herself, he had gone to some effort to look nice. He was wearing a stylish button-front cardigan, and his still-thick dark hair was flawlessly combed.
A handsome man, she thought.
Bill had never been a golden boy like her ex-husband, Ryan. He had never been smooth and pleasant-looking like her ex-boyfriend Blaine. His features were those of a man who had lived a hard life, but he also had the look of a man who had accomplished things.
Riley knew that life had left its mark on her too. Her own dark hair, like his, showed touches of gray. Shadows around her eyes, like his, reflected ugly encounters over the years. Although men in general seemed attracted to her, she knew that most of them had no idea what Special Agent Riley Paige was actually like.
Finally, Bill reached across the table and took her hand.
He asked, “Riley, is this going to work?”
Riley laughed just a little.
“I don’t know, Bill,” she said. “I’m not even sure what ‘this’ is. Are you?”
Bill laughed as well.
“Well, I’ve got some ideas, but I can’t say I know where ‘this’ is going.”
“Me neither,” Riley said.
They fell silent again. Riley knew only one thing for sure. “This” was something romantic—a change in both of their lives, from being best friends to something more than friends.
Riley remembered the sweet, warm moment when “this” had started. It had been a couple of weeks ago, just after they’d finished their last case. They’d been sitting together in Riley’s hotel room, and both of them had felt troubled and sad. Riley was bitter and hurt about Jenn’s unexplained disappearance. Bill was frightened that Riley had almost been killed by a psychopathic madman.
It hadn’t been the first time either Riley or Bill had narrowly escaped death, of course. In fact, it probably hadn’t even been the hundredth time. But this time, Bill had seemed to be taking it especially hard.
Finally he had told her exactly why.
“I don’t think I could stand to ever lose you. I don’t think I could live without you.”
Then, without saying another word, they had kissed.
After that, they’d quietly held each other for a while without saying a word.
That was really all there had been to it—a single kiss and a long, silent embrace. They’d both been too battered up from their final struggle with the killer to take things any further.
Riley’s smile broadened at the memory.
She saw that Bill’s smile widened as well.
Is he remembering that moment too?
She wouldn’t be the least bit surprised. Like an old married couple, they often found themselves thinking the same things and finishing each other’s sentences.
She and Bill had worked together as partners for years. They had rescued each other from monsters, helped each other through terrible times, and even survived her one clumsy drunken pass at him back when he’d still been married.
They had also seen each other through divorces and, in his case, the almost complete loss of contact with his boys when his ex-wife moved away and remarried. He knew a lot about her off and on struggles with Ryan, her divorce, and even her recent affair with Blaine.
They just hadn’t seen much of each other since finishing that case. They hadn’t had a chance to talk things out.
Bill had visited Riley at home a couple of times, and they’d talked on the phone a little. They hadn’t mentioned that kiss to each other, but of course Riley had been thinking about it the whole time, and she knew perfectly well that Bill had too.
And now here they were, on their first real date.
And like all first dates, it was fraught with all kinds of possibilities and uncertainties.
Finally Bill shook his head. “Riley, we’ve got some things we really need to work out.”
Riley realized she was holding her breath, unsure what to expect next.
“I care about you very much,” Bill said. “I know you feel the same way about me. And I guess it’s … only natural that our relationship would … you know …”
Riley squeezed his hand and chuckled.
“Evolve?” she said.
Bill chuckled as well.
“Yeah, evolve. It’s natural, and it’s … wonderful. And I don’t want it to stop.”
“I feel the same way,” Riley said.
Bill shrugged and shifted in his seat.
“But I worry about … things,” he said. “I mean, what will this mean to us as partners?”
Riley sighed. “I wish I knew. Of course the FBI doesn’t have any hard and fast rules against … well, fraternization.”
“I know,” Bill said. “But that doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy. I can think of one guy who’ll want to make it as hard for us as possible.”
Riley nodded. She knew exactly who Bill meant. Rules or no rules, Special Agent in Charge Carl Walder didn’t approve of agents having romantic relationships while working together. In fact, Walder was pretty much disapproving of anything agents did unless it made Walder look good.
Worse, Walder harbored a violent dislike for Riley. He’d suspended and even fired her more than once. If Riley and Bill got openly involved, Walder would doubtless find all kinds of new ways to make their lives miserable. At the very least by refusing to let them work together, but possibly even relocating one of them to some distant field office.
Bill squinted thoughtfully for a moment.
He said, “I also worry about—well, stepping into your life, I guess, and bringing all my baggage with me. I mean, you’ve got a family, and I’ve got …”
Bill shook his head sadly.
“Well, you know what I’ve got,” he said. “Too much of nothing. For one thing, I’ve been through a nasty divorce.”
“So have I,” Riley said.
“Yeah, but your ex-spouse didn’t take your kids away.”
With a deep pang of sympathy, Riley squeezed his hand again.
“I know,” she said. “I’m sorry.”
Bill’s voice thickened a little.
“But you—well, you’ve got a family. Do you want me to be part of it?”
Riley was about to say of course she did, but Bill interrupted.
“Please, don’t answer that question without really thinking about it.”
Riley nodded sadly.
It really was a good question, and it reminded Riley of how rich and loving her home life really was. She had two daughters and a live-in housekeeper who was much, much more than just an employee.
Is there room for anybody else? she wondered.
She’d tried to make room for two different men, and it hadn’t worked out well. When her ex-husband, Ryan, had come around pleading for another chance with her, she’d let him move in for a while. He’d let her and the girls down, of course, which had left her feeling stupid for expecting anything else from him. The last time he’d come back, she’
d sent him away quite firmly.
At first, everything had seemed to go smoothly with Blaine Hildreth, the charming restaurateur Riley had been involved with. He was a single parent with one daughter April’s age. At one point Blaine had even planned to expand his own house so they could all move in together.
But the dangers of Riley’s life had finally proven to be more than Blaine could deal with.
Even though she couldn’t really blame him, Riley was still stinging inwardly from his final rejection. It had left her feeling bitter and disappointed. She’d found herself wondering—would there ever be a man in her life she could fully trust and depend on?
But at this moment, that seemed like a stupid question.
She was looking at that very man right now.
She and Bill had had their quarrels and disagreements and ups and downs. But in the end, they’d always been able to trust each other with their very lives.
What more could I want from a relationship? she wondered.
Maybe that was exactly the problem.
She stammered, trying to find words for what she wanted to say.
“Bill, I … I feel like you know me better than anybody else ever has. Better than Ryan, even. You’ve seen me at my worst as well as at my best. You’ve pulled me out of the depths of … well, drunkenness, despair, self-pity, failure …”
Bill shook his head. “Well, you’ve gotten me through worse than that.”
Riley shuddered a little. She knew all too well what Bill was talking about.
And she remembered vividly the text message Bill had sent her when she’d been working on a case last spring …
Been sitting here with a gun in my mouth.
Jenn had covered for Riley’s absence so she could rush to Bill’s apartment in Quantico. If she hadn’t gotten there to help him, she still didn’t know what might have happened.
But she wouldn’t have had it any other way. Their friendship had been built as much on awful moments like those as on the good ones.
Riley paused for a moment.
Then she said, “I guess what I’m thinking is … maybe we’re already a perfect couple. Maybe we’ve been a perfect couple all these years. God knows I feel a lot closer to you than I ever did to Ryan.”