Hard to Resist

by Lauren Landish

  He pushes up my nightgown, and then pulls my panties off of me, exposing my swollen pussy. My clit throbs, and I push my pussy against his hand.

  “Fuck, Elle. You’re dripping wet for me.” He breathes out the words as if I’m torturing him.

  I look into his eyes and tell him again. “I want you, Liam.” I do. I want him so fucking bad. I need his touch. I need him. Can’t he tell?

  The word please is on the tip of my tongue, but he jams his fingers inside of me, probing, thrusting before I can get it out.

  Oh fuck, he feels so good. The heels of my feet dig into his ass, pushing him closer to me as he fingerfucks me.

  I groan and arch my back against the wall. Yes! My nipples harden and the sadness of him pushing me aside before diminishes as the pleasure burns low in my belly.

  “I want you,” he whispers in the crook of my neck as his fingers stroke my G-spot, bringing me closer and closer to my orgasm. He kisses my neck, my jaw, and then my lips. All the while pleasuring me. Yes!

  He breaks our kiss and looks at me with heat in his eyes. “You have no idea how much I fucking want you.” His confession confuses me, but I don’t have the energy to think about it. There’s one easy answer that’s begging to spill from my lips.

  “Then take me,” I moan out and then gasp as he removes his fingers, leaving my throbbing pussy unsatisfied.

  The high I felt as I approached the edge of my release vanishes as he backs away from me.

  I blink several times, not understanding why he pulled away and then glare at him. I swear to God if he’s leaving me high and dry like this it’ll be the cruelest thing anyone has ever done to me.

  “How much do you want me?” Liam asks in a husky voice as he shoves down his shorts and strokes himself.

  My mouth waters and I lick my lips as a bead of precum forms on the seam of his head. If that’s what he wants, fine. I want him. Even more, I want him to know how much I need his touch. I have no shame in giving him the pleasure he gave me.

  I try to get down on my knees, but he stops me, grabbing my wrist. I see hesitation in his eyes as he searches my face. “I told you, you don’t have to do that.”

  “But I want to,” I whisper. He takes a step forward and grabs my ass in his hands, picking me up and pushing my back against the wall.

  “This is how I want you,” he says, looking deep into my eyes. My heart races in my chest. He lines his dick up as his lips crash against mine with desperation. In one quick thrust, he’s buried deep inside of me and I scream out with pleasure.

  My body heats as he slowly pulls out and then hammers his hard cock into me. His large girth stretches my walls, but he doesn’t give me a moment to adjust. My breathing halts, and my head thrashes. My nails dig into his shoulders. I want him closer and deeper, but I also need him farther away. It's too intense. It's too much. But it feels so fucking good.

  “I fucking want you,” he growls as he picks up his pace. My back pounds against the wall with his merciless pace. A strangled cry is ripped from my throat.

  I scream out his name as he ruts between my legs, kissing and biting my neck.

  My nails scratch along his bare back as I try to escape the intense pleasure, but he has me pinned. My chest heaves, and my head slams against the wall as an overwhelming pleasure paralyzes my body. My toes stick out straight and I fall recklessly over the edge. My mouth opens with a silent scream as my body tenses and then my nerve endings come alive all at once, exploding with indescribable pleasure, and I find myself screaming out his name.

  He groans my name in my ear and thrusts short shallow strokes, each one rubbing against my throbbing clit and prolonging my orgasm. My nails dig into his back and my teeth press down on his shoulder as my pussy clamps down on his dick and waves upon waves of pleasure rock through my body.

  I sag against him, catching my breath, and he holds me for a moment before setting me down on the floor. I feel so weak. My entire body is limp and heavy.

  I lean panting against the wall as Liam pulls his shorts up and heads down the short hallway to the kitchen. My pussy is sore, and my clit is still throbbing. I close my eyes and rest my hot cheek against the cool wall and try to calm my racing heart.

  I pick my panties up and pull them into place. There’s a bit of cum on my thigh, but I try to ignore it.

  The lust-filled haze quickly dissipates and I look down the hall and to the door as Liam turns on the faucet.

  How pathetic am I? I wrap my arms around my shoulders. He dumped me, and I came over here and let him fuck me. My mouth opens as I realize that’s exactly what happened. I cover my face and try to keep myself from crying.

  I should just leave before he has a chance to kick me out and give me another it’s-not-you-it's-me speech.

  Before I can make my move, I hear Liam’s hard steps come down the hall. The old wooden floor creaks and he comes back into the foyer with a neatly folded, damp paper towel.

  He stops in his tracks as he registers the look on my face. I keep my eyes on the floor. I can’t believe how pathetic I am.

  “I’m gonna go,” I manage to say and take a step toward the door. He reaches out and grabs my waist, stopping me and forcing me to look up at him.

  His mouth opens, but he doesn't say anything for a moment. My heart barely beats in my chest. Finally he says, “I have some cocoa,” he nods to the kitchen, “if you wanna stay.”

  I look back at him, not knowing what to say. I only want to stay if he really wants me to. If he really wants me.

  As if reading my mind, he takes my hips in his hands, pulling me closer and puts his nose against mine. “I’m sorry.” He kisses the tip of my nose and I close my eyes. “I’m sorry I texted you that. I want you, Elle.” He brushes the hair out of my face and adds, “Please stay with me tonight.” He kisses my hair. “I don’t want you to leave.”

  Chapter 14

  Lizzie

  I don’t know what I should do, I think to myself as I sit down at my computer desk in my bedroom. I haven’t checked my school email in days, and I intend to play catch up. But I can’t. I keep thinking about Liam.

  There's also the dilemma that I have yet to receive any money, and I feel like a whore for even thinking about bringing it up.

  One date. He hands over my inheritance. That was the deal, and he told me he talked to the lawyer.

  It bugs the shit out of me. I don’t know why. I need the money. I have to pay this upcoming semester's tuition, but I don't want to bring it up. I'm so uncomfortable about the entire thing. I love it when I'm with him. I can escape from all this shit. But then when he leaves I have to face the real world. And that world needs money.

  Fuck! I don't want to bring it up. I really can't stand the fact that I'm going to have to ask him if he's sending it over soon. It's so awkward.

  I have the urge to call Nat and tell her about my problem. At the same time, I don’t want to talk to her. She’s already told me to relax and to just have fun. I’m going to make myself look insane if I call her back, crying about how wishy-washy I'm feeling. I already know what I'm feeling for him this early is just crazy.

  Nevermind looking cray cray, I think to myself. I’ll look more like a whore. Shit. Thinking about it makes me feel absolutely shitty. But as the saying goes, the truth hurts.

  Trying to push my gloomy thoughts away, I log into my email and go through all the unread messages. Then I go about checking my schedule for next semester and looking to see what textbooks I need to order.

  I figure if this thing with Liam crashes, I’ll be able to return to school and bury myself in my studies. Except I can’t even think straight. I’m so damn conflicted. About everything.

  Relax, I tell myself. Breathe.

  I practice a meditation exercise, trying to ease the stress in my body with deep breathing. It doesn’t work. Sighing in frustration, I blow the hair out of my eyes and look around the room. I hate this. I hate being here. This big, fucking empty house.

  T
ears pool in my eyes and I get angry. God damn it! I’m so fucking tired of crying!

  I shouldn’t be here. I should’ve gone back already. I need to ask Liam for my money and just leave. That’s what I should do. What I feel for him is unhealthy and probably only because of my grief. I don't need a professional to tell me that. It's too soon and too fast.

  I don’t need him. I don’t care how he makes me feel. A couple of months after I’m gone, I won’t even remember his name. He’s just a crutch. Someone to distract me from my pain. I can survive without him.

  Pain stabs me in the chest. I don’t know if it’s from the thought of leaving Liam, or from the reminder of daddy.

  I need to get out of this house, I think to myself. Do something other than wallow in misery. Like fuck Liam.

  It’s horrible. I know it’s wrong to be thinking about sex with a man I’m so conflicted by. I just can’t help it.

  I jump up from my desk and grab my coat. I need to get out of this house. Some time to think, and then I’ll decide. I either make a commitment to Liam and get one in return, or I leave him. I can’t use him, and I can’t let him use me.

  And that's exactly what we're doing.

  Chapter 15

  Liam

  I’m gonna fuck this up. Every day I'm waiting for her to tell me she's pissed about something. I fucking love what we have, but I know I'm gonna ruin it. I’ve never done this before and I’m not the kind of man who knows how to hold onto a woman. I've never tried to, and I don’t wanna put myself out there when they can leave me. That’s what people do, they leave you. I don’t want that. But for her, I feel like I don’t have a choice. Everything in me wants to be with her. And I'm just waiting for the moment she up and leaves me.

  And it’s 'cause of Richard. The reminder of him brings me to the desk in the living room. It’s an old flimsy desk, nothing like what I have at work. Richard had asked me to store it here while he was sorting through his things, making preparations for the end. But on top of it is that damn note. I brought it home from the office and I still haven't read it.

  I sit down and stare at it. It’s just a piece of paper. It’s fucking harmless, but it’s making my heart beat faster than it should. I take a deep breath and try to calm myself. Why am I being such a little bitch about this?

  What if there’s something in it for her? That thought has me reaching out and opening the letter. I don’t know what his last words to me are, but if they’re something she needs, I need to know right now.

  The sound of the paper unfolding and soft crinkles as I hold it are the only things I can hear other than the blood rushing in my ears and the thud of my own heartbeat. I shouldn't have worked this up so much in my head, but I have.

  Dearest Liam,

  Well, the time has come to say goodbye, but I wanted to tell you a few things that I found hard to say in person.

  You remind me of myself. I never told you, but my father passed when I was young. I didn’t take it very well.

  If it wasn’t for Elizabeth's mother, I never would have loved in my entire life. I was filled with anger and hate. But worse than that, I just didn’t want companionship. I wanted to be alone.

  Her mother forced her way in. But it was so much later in life, and she passed away only years after having Elizabeth. I wish I’d met her sooner. I wish I’d had more time with her.

  I made a mistake, Liam. I need you to fix it. I know you’ve done so much for me, but there’s one last thing.

  I regret it all. You were right. I wish I’d spent my dying days with her. It would have been selfish, because I know it would have hurt her to watch me die. Maybe that makes me an asshole, because I know how hard this was for you. But she isn't going to take this easy. And I can't stand the thought that she's going to live her life with pain and hate.

  I need you to help her. I didn’t teach her how to want companionship. I don’t want her to live the way I did. I need you there for her.

  I’m leaving everything to you. This will help. You’ll need all the help you can get. Without something to hang over her head, you’ll never get through to her.

  If she wants to pound her fists on your chest, please let her.

  I can see hurt in you, the same pain I had. Let her heal you, too. You’re a good man, and I want her to have a man like you in her life.

  I don’t want you two to live the life I had. You deserve more. You deserve better.

  I hope you’ll find that in each other.

  Best wishes and blessings for you two,

  Richard

  I stare at the note for a long time. I try to ignore the way my eyes are glassed over and the way my chest feels like something's wrapped around it, squeezing the air from my lungs.

  I finally stand up and let my instincts take over. And they’re telling me to go to her. To get lost in her touch. I pick up the phone and dial her number before taking a look outside. The phone rings and rings, but she doesn't answer. Her car’s out front. I get her voicemail and decide to wait a minute. Maybe she’s busy.

  I run my hands through my hair, but all I can think about is that fucking note. I can practically hear him saying those words. My heart clenches, and I grip the cell phone tighter before calling her again. No answer.

  I fucking need her right now. I shove shoes on my feet and swing the door open. I don't bother with a coat.

  I need to feel her. I need to kiss her. I need her just as much as she needs me.

  Chapter 16

  Lizzie

  I have my nose buried in a book when there's a knock at the door. I stop reading the dark romance, something I’ve been preoccupying my mind with to keep it off Liam, and get up from the couch. As I walk across the room, I don’t even have to guess who’s there.

  Liam.

  My heart begins to pound at the thought of seeing him. And I take a second debating on whether I should open the door, or ignore him for as long as I can.

  Relax, I tell myself. You can do this. I need to have this talk with him. This needs to stop now.

  Still, it takes me several deep breaths to get my pulse to stop racing and for my anxiety to ebb.

  A frigid blast of air hits me as soon as I open the door, and I shiver. My mouth goes dry when I see Liam standing there, silhouetted by a sea of white. He’s dressed casually, as if it isn’t below twenty degrees and snowing. He's just in jeans and a t-shirt.

  Good God, I think to myself worriedly. He’s got to be freezing!

  “Liam, what are you doing out in the snow with no coat on? You could catch a cold,” I say with concern.

  “I'm fine,” he replies. He walks past me without asking to come inside.

  Anxiety washes over me as I close the door and turn to face him.

  Shit. He’s looking at me with that intense gaze of his. Trouble is brewing. I don’t know if I can do this.

  “I’ve been calling you, but you haven’t answered,” he says, accusation in his voice.

  Ugh. So here it goes. This is going to be rough. “I know. I’ve just been thinking,” I respond slowly.

  Anger flashes in his eyes. “Thinking about what?”

  “Don’t look at me like that,” I say, getting angry. This is hard for me. “I think we should stop this.”

  He clenches his jaw. “You came to me, remember?”

  “I’m sorry,” is all I can manage. It’s the only thing I can say. None of this would’ve happened if I didn’t want it in the first place. I used him. I know that now. And I really do feel like shit about it.

  Liam asks quietly, “Sorry for what, Elle?”

  Unbidden, tears flow from my eyes and down my cheeks. “I can’t do this, Liam,” I choke out. “I’m so sorry.” It's hard to breathe. It feels like my heart's being ripped out of my chest.

  Liam walks over to me and grabs me by the arms, forcing me to look into his eyes. Fuck. It hurts to see the pain reflected there. “And why not? You wanted this as much as I did.”

  I can’t respond. The lump in
my throat is too big to swallow. Why does it hurt so fucking much?

  Liam looks at me with disbelief. “You really don’t wanna be with me? Is that it?”

  The pain is crushing me. Any more, and I feel my heart will shatter. “I don’t know,” I croak, seconds away from sobbing like a baby.

  Liam looks like he’s been stabbed in the heart. It’s a look I can hardly bear. Surprisingly, he’s not giving up. “Well, I don’t give a shit. I still want to be with you, Elle. No matter what you say.” He looks away and I realize he’s trying to keep from crying. “You healed a part of me that I didn’t realize was broken.” His voice is thick with emotion and it threatens to send me over the brink.

  “Please!” I cry. Please don’t do this. Not here. Not now.

  “Please what?” Liam presses.

  “I don’t know,” I sob, shaking my head. “I don’t know what I want from you.”

  Liam pulls me into his arms, holding me close. It feels so good to be enveloped by the warmth of his hard body. “Well, what do you feel? What do you feel in your heart for me? 'Cause I can damn sure feel something in mine for you. And I want to hold onto it.”

  His words are so powerful. It scares the shit out of me. “But--but it’s so soon. We’re both grieving...and this is just… it just isn’t healthy!”

  Liam snorts derisively. “Says who? Who can tell us what’s healthy, and what isn’t? All I know is I feel for you, Elizabeth Turner. And I don’t want it to end.”

  I can’t find the words to reply. I feel for Liam, too. Maybe too much. That’s what frightens the fuck out of me. “I’m scared,” I say, finally admitting the truth to him.

  Liam bends down and kisses the tears on my jaw, then kisses me on the lips. I taste the salt on them. “It’s okay to be scared. There’s nothing wrong with that. You just have to believe that everything will be alright.” He kisses me again and I melt into him. I’m breathless when he pulls away a moment later. “This doesn’t have to be anything that you don’t want it to be,” he says huskily. “We’re moving fast right now, but I don’t see anything wrong with it. I just need you to stop thinking about tomorrow, and only think about what’s here and now.”