My bare feet slapped on the hardwood floors as I made my way to the end of the hall. The large open-concept kitchen filled the entire right side of the space. Black marble countertops that seemed to go on forever capped the antique white cabinets. I opened the refrigerator and frowned. The bright light inside the fridge revealed nothing. Not a damn thing.
I slammed the door and started opening cabinets. Plates, glasses, coffee cups, and bakeware looked back at me, mocking my tired eyes. Not a single bottle of alcohol or food. I’d have to go shopping if I wanted to eat. Fat chance. I didn’t even have a car or a legal driver’s license.
I slid to the floor, ignoring the cabinet hardware scraping my back as I went. My life fricking sucked. I hugged my knees and pressed my eyes into them, forcing back the tears. I couldn’t do this. There was no way I could be this thing everyone expected me to be. Logan always thought I was strong enough. His reassuring eyes and little smirk flashed across my memories.
A loud sob escaped my throat, but I didn’t care. There was no one here to judge me or tell me to suck it up. No one to encourage me or give me the pep talk I didn’t want. No one. I sucked in a shuddering breath and let my tears and sorrow consume me. For once, my mind stopped spinning and focused on letting me grieve.
~~~~~~~~
I woke still on the kitchen floor with a numb ass and sore neck. “That was a bad idea,” I mumbled, pulling on the edge of the counter and standing. My legs tingled as the blood rushed back to them. “Very bad idea.”
When I felt a little normal, I rubbed my sore butt and wandered back down the hall. How long had I slept on the kitchen floor? Hopefully not too long. I really needed a solid eight hours in a comfortable bed. I turned into my new room and froze. The scent of sandalwood smacked me in the face, but the room was empty. My messy blankets were still in a pile on the bed and my half-unpacked suitcase lay on the floor in front of the dresser. Had the bastard come home and left me in the kitchen? More importantly, what was he doing here? Shouldn’t he be in England? I took a step back into the hall and looked towards his room. The partially open door gave nothing away. The only trace of his presence was his lingering smell.
I stood in my open doorway, completely undecided. Should I confront him? No. If he wanted to talk, he wouldn’t have left me curled up in the kitchen. With my decision made, I crawled back in bed and to my surprise, fell asleep.
I couldn’t be graced with a dreamless sleep, though. Nightmares plagued me, not letting me break free from their hideous forebodings. Just like any other dream, I remembered none of it when I finally woke up, and only the telltale sense of lingering dread.
I yawned and stretched, pushing the blankets away and stumbling down the hall towards the bathroom.
“Is the master suite not good enough?”
I jumped and squealed like a little girl. I’d forgotten he was there.
“Don’t do that!” I darted into the bathroom and slammed the door without looking at him. The derogatory moniker he gave me during our meeting pushed its way to the front of my mind. I couldn’t stop myself from being mad about it.
He chuckled, that irritatingly smug noise that grated on my nerves.
“The door is locked for a reason,” I said.
“Yes, I know,” he called back.
I leaned against the door, knowing he was still on the other side. “What do you want?”
“We need to talk about your phone call,” he replied.
I rubbed my hands across my face. Hopefully he meant our strategy for Jack and nothing else.
“I’ll be out in a few minutes,” I mumbled.
He didn’t reply, and I rushed through all the necessary stuff, then hurried back to my room. And there he was, reclining on my unmade bed in a pair of shorts, laying his freshly showered hair on my pillow. My face blushed with equal parts anger and desire. How could he call me a half-breed like it was the most disgusting thing on earth, then lie there all sexy thinking I’d want him?
“Get out of my bed,” I growled.
“Your bed is in the other room,” he said, tucking one arm beneath his head.
“No, that’s clearly your space,” I retorted. “Whatever. Doesn’t matter. What do you want, Braden?”
I leaned over my suitcase and found a pair of my favorite slacks and a button-down shirt. I draped them over my arm then looked up at him. He hadn’t moved, nor had he answered my question. His eyes roamed over my body and I blushed again.
“Bastard,” I mumbled. “I’m going to the bathroom to get dressed. I’ll see you in the living room if you really want to talk.”
The mattress shifted and he was at my side before I could move. His body was all but touching mine and his blue eyes scanned my face. “It seems I can’t be near you,” he whispered, “but I can’t stand to be away from you either. Why is that?”
“You’re emotionally constipated,” I replied. “It happens to me all the time.” I turned to leave and he grabbed my arm. I stared at the long fingers wrapped around my skinny bicep.
“I had guilt,” he said. “I’ve never had guilt, not even before I became a vampire.”
Did he feel bad for calling me a half-breed? Or was it the way he spoke to Kellen about his family? Maybe both.
“I can’t help you there,” I mumbled. “I need to get dressed.”
He released me and I scurried back to the bathroom. What the hell was that? I couldn’t deal with his emotions right now. I couldn’t even deal with my own. I dressed quickly and made my way to the kitchen, hoping he had coffee.
A quick inventory of the pantry brought nothing but disappointment. I shouldn’t have been surprised. Vampires didn’t need normal food. But I really wanted a cup of coffee.
“We can go out to dinner if you want,” Braden said, strolling down the hall buttoning a tan shirt. His loose-fit blue jeans didn’t hide the muscle beneath them. When did he buy blue jeans?
“We won’t be able to discuss what we need to in public,” I said, scooting around the kitchen island, putting it between us.
“That’s not true and you know it,” he argued. “No one can hear us if we don’t want them to.”
“I can’t get mad at you in public,” I retorted. “I hate being forced into a fake smile and polite conversation.”
He frowned and stopped on the opposite side of the island. “Am I that unpleasant to be around?”
I held my tongue, refusing to let his comments on the phone piss me off again. “What did you need to talk about and why aren’t you in London?”
“I’ve already told you why I’m here,” he snapped. “Gordon should arrive in Cairo in the next few hours and provide an update of the atmosphere there.”
“Shouldn’t you be with him?” I asked, a little startled by his admission. “How can you lead the others into this without being there?”
“I’ve never been a hands-on leader.” He leaned against the marble counter, his intense glare seeming to drive right through me. “To do so now would make me untrustworthy. They would assume I’m trying to manipulate them. I micromanage in the background and trust my men to take care of business.”
“That’s an awfully tall order for Gordon, isn’t it?” I leaned towards him, resting my elbows on the cool stone.
“Without Bryce, things will be more difficult,” he replied, running his fingers through his wet hair. “I can only hope his replacement is just as good.”
His brow dipped with his frown and he traced the textured swirls of the marble. I wasn’t sure how I felt about this new Braden. He didn’t know how to deal with the uncertainty his new emotions threw at him, and he wouldn’t have time to figure it out. I couldn’t think of anything helpful to say, so I stayed quiet.
“How do you do this?” he asked.
“You mean the emotional rollercoaster?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t,” I replied. “You already know I’m a train wreck.”
“Then how did Logan do it?” His eyes met mine and
I saw a trace of fear.
“He never lost his soul,” I replied. “He didn’t experience this the same way you are.”
“Really? How?”
“The fates are bastards right alongside the elementals, fae, vampires, mages, and shifters.” I paused, raising my hand in the air as I counted them off on my fingers. “They planned to put him and I together before I was even born.”
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.
My anger flared. I didn’t want pity from him. I needed him to be the arrogant, manipulating bastard I met a few weeks ago. His people needed that man as well, not this.
“You need to get your head out of your ass, Braden,” I snapped, dropping my hand onto the counter. “Find a little box to dump all your shit in and stop being this sappy, emotional little twit.”
His jaw twitched, and a red ring flared around his blue irises.
“There he is,” I said. “We don’t have time for you to sort this out, so pack it up and deal with it later.”
“Are you packing yours up as well?” he growled.
“Nope,” I quipped. “I’m allowed to be an emotional basket case, you’re not.”
I knew I was pushing his buttons, but he couldn’t afford to be soft any more than I could. There would be lots of killing in a week, which didn’t leave much room for emotions.
“Where is this bitch coming from?” he asked, his jaw still twitching.
“The same place your cry baby’s coming from.” I tapped the counter with my finger, watching the blood haze over his eyes.
“You’re playing a dangerous game, little mage.”
“My entire life is a dangerous game, bastard.” I pushed away from the counter and crossed my arms over my chest, trying to hide the tingle of fear racing over my skin. “So unless you have something useful for me, I have stuff to do.”
He leapt over the counter, bracing his body with one hand. A tiny squeak escaped my lips and I ran for the living room. He caught me before I made it two steps, wrapping one arm around my waist and lifting me off the floor.
“I have something useful for you,” he slurred.
Great, fangs. I hadn’t meant to make him that mad. I kicked my heels against his shins and dug my fingers into the arm crushing my stomach. He sped down the hall, flinging open the door to the stone staircase and room below. I cringed as it smashed into the drywall.
“You don’t have to destroy my house!” I cried, struggling against his grip.
We reached the bottom of the stairs and he threw me to the ground. I landed hard on my hip and mumbled curses at him.
“What the hell was that for?” I demanded.
“Obviously, you prefer my monster,” he growled. “You have five seconds to pick a weapon.” He ripped the shirt from his chest, buttons flying in all directions.
“You’re not serious,” I said.
“Four.”
“Braden.”
The belt came off next, then his dark brown leather shoes.
“Three.”
He was serious.
I pulled a long dagger from the air. “I don’t want to do this.”
“Two.”
His fangs dropped and the muscles along his shoulders tore through his white t-shirt.
“Oh shit,” I mumbled. He wouldn’t really hurt me, would he?
He lunged, and I skipped to my left but not fast enough. He caught my waist and tossed me into the air. Panic engulfed me as I fell, the stone floor rushing up to greet me. I screamed and tried to decide if a bird would be better or cat who always landed on its feet.
Braden’s monster smashed into me before I hit the stone, knocking the air from my lungs. He pinned me against the far wall, his red eyes boring into mine.
“Why don’t you fight back?” he asked, his words hissing between his fangs.
I didn’t know. Yes, I did. The thought of hurting him made me wither. I looked away and he grabbed my face, his claws digging into my cheeks.
“Didn’t you just throw that soft bullshit in my face?” he asked. “You think you’ll be able to fight Jack and his army like this?” He twisted my head to the side and sunk his teeth into my neck. A slow burn ran along my collar. I remembered that burn from the vampire who tried to turn me.
I grabbed Braden’s face and tried to pull him away. “What are you doing?” I screamed, kicking at his legs and pressing my fingers into his jaw. “Braden! You can’t turn me, not now.”
He didn’t let go and the burn trickled down my shoulder. I panicked again and drew a long glass dagger in each hand, punching them into his ribs. His fangs ripped through my skin and he roared. I twisted the blades and welcomed the red haze that always preceded my little beast.
Instead of backing away, he wrapped his free arm around my back and pulled me tighter against him making it impossible to stab him again. I released my daggers and raked my claws down his back, feeling his blood cover my fingers. Fire raced across my chest. Was it too late?
“Take it back,” I hissed against his chest. “I will not be a vampire today.”
“You’ll be whatever I want,” he growled.
“I don’t think so,” I retorted. “Don’t make me pull out the fae magic.”
He looked down at me with his swirling red eyes and smiled. “It could be fun.”
“I could kill you.”
“No, but you could try.”
“Take the venom back now,” I commanded. “I can already feel it racing towards my heart.”
“And it thrills you,” he purred. “You love my monster more than the man. I can feel it.”
“You’re a sick bastard.” I refused to even think about my feelings for him. There was no way he felt a damn thing. “Take it back now.”
“You will have to take my blood,” he whispered, leaning towards my neck. “It’s the only way you’ll survive. But I think you already know that.”
I shivered, knowing exactly what he was talking about. Memories of this exact moment with Logan flooded my mind. My desire for him afterward was unstoppable.
“Oh my God,” I gasped. “I can’t.”
“You can and you will,” he clamped his mouth on the same spot he’d injected his venom.
I immediately felt the drain on my blood making me weak. The burn of his venom scalded my chest and shoulder as he pulled it back. My hands fell away from his skin and l leaned my head back against the stone wall. I couldn’t have sex with him. I didn’t want to feel the emotions Logan and I shared, not with Braden.
His mouth pulled away from my neck and I lost myself in his swirling red eyes. I felt his compulsion and tried to resist him.
“Bite me, little mage,” he whispered, “before my guilt kills me.”
He cradled the back of my head and brought my lips to his neck. I continued to fight his will even though my body disobeyed me.
“Do it now,” he hissed. “There is still venom running through you.”
I sunk my tiny fangs into the pulsing vein on his neck. The same pleasure I remembered with Logan flooded me. I hated the way my traitorous body wrapped around him and drank him in. His teeth on my neck ratcheted my desire up another notch, and I forced myself to pull away from him.
His fingers loosened against my scalp and slow kisses trailed up my neck. My skin tingled and I knew I was losing the fight with my desire.
“You haven’t had enough blood,” Braden whispered, his kisses trailing the edge of my ear.
A soft moan escaped my lips, and I clamped them shut. I needed to push him away and couldn’t. Not just because I wanted to have wild sex, but I hadn’t replaced the same amount of blood he’d taken. It made me weak and stupid.
“I can’t,” I moaned.
“Take it,” he said. “I promise not to touch you afterwards.”
I felt the resentment and anger through our bond and suspected he felt my warring emotions, too. I couldn’t imagine walking away from him right now and wasn’t sure how he’d manage it. Would he really not touch me? I cert
ainly wouldn’t stop his hands from being all over me. Every part of me wanted it except for my heart.
“Do it before I change my mind,” he growled.
I looked down at his neck and the ugly punctures I’d left behind. He never left a mark on my skin. Half the time I didn’t even realize he’d bitten me. I dropped my forehead on his shoulder and he scooped me up, one arm beneath my knees and the other supporting my back.
“You will be the death of me,” he said, carrying me across the room.
“I hope not,” I whispered, threading my fingers through the blonde hair hanging over his shoulder. I should’ve been mad at him for attacking me, but my stupid hormones refused to let me.
“Why did you provoke me?” His mouth pulled into a frown and I reached up and touched his lips. He kissed my fingers, his fangs already receding.
“The vampires will not follow the man who only works as hard as he has to, then lets everyone else do the rest,” I said, repeating Otto’s words. “They need a leader who will stand by their side and fight, not one who hangs in the background.”
He stopped halfway up the steps, staring into the dark hallway. “How do you know so much about vampires?”
“I don’t,” I replied, letting my hand slide down his bare chest. He needed to put me down before my desires won this crazy battle. “Only what everyone else has told me and what I’ve witnessed for myself in the last few weeks.”
He continued to the top of the stairs and crossed the hall to his room. I didn’t have the will power to fight with him. I eyed the large bed as we passed by it, but he didn’t stop. He kicked open the bathroom door and sat me on the counter in front of him.
“Why did you try to turn me?” I asked, tracing the ridged muscles on his stomach. When I reached the raw cuts from my daggers, guilt assaulted me. They’d partially healed already, leaving angry welts on his skin which would be gone soon. I struggled to accept that he enjoyed the pain I caused.
“It seems to be the only thing that makes you fight back,” he replied. “I expected you to stop me.” His fingers traced my spine and shivers ran along my skin. I pretended to push away, fighting against my desires, but he pulled me back.
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