It felt like a literal weight was taken off my chest. How the hell did she do that? She zoomed right in on an insecurity I hadn’t even realized I had, and made me feel like I was in the right.
“I agree, values and boundaries are important,” I managed to get out, reeling from her words.
“And are you a loyal partner?” she asked.
I looked to Dom as I answered. “I am. He’s the only man I want to be with, the only man I’ve ever wanted to have a future with. And I want to see him through whatever challenges life puts in front of him.”
Sydney glanced at Dom’s lovestruck face and burst out laughing. “Does he have a brother?”
Dom shook his head. “Mom, you’ve been with Alistair for over a year. I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to be trolling for younger men.”
“Oh, hush,” she said, smacking him on the chest. “Let a girl dream.”
“So,” I said nervously. “Did I, uh…pass the test? You gonna let me stay?”
Sydney’s grin turned intensely maternal. “Welcome to the family, kiddo.”
“I’m kind of in love with your mom,” I told Dom as we lay together in his childhood bedroom that night.
“Gross,” Dom said, elbowing me in the ribs. “No double dipping, you can only have one Baker.”
“Shut up,” I said lightly. “She’s not nearly masculine and gay enough for me. I just mean…she’s amazing. I’m really glad that I get to be a part of this family.”
“Yeah,” said Dom dreamily, “me too.”
I turned onto my side, propping up on one elbow. “I feel like we should talk about us.”
“Mmm, yes please,” Dom purred, pulling me in for a deep, dirty kiss.
“Dom—”
“Should we talk about how good we look together naked?” he asked.
“Well, I mean, if you really want to—”
“Or how romantic it is that you flew across the country for me?” he continued.
“It was pretty romantic—”
“Or how much I want to make you come?” he suggested.
I bit my lip. “That’s goddamn tempting.”
“So, let me make you come,” Dom said, kissing his way down my throat.
“Hang on just a sec,” I said, taking him by the shoulders and guiding him far enough away that I could look into his eyes without my own crossing.
He pouted. “You don’t want to fuck?”
“Oh, I want to fuck,” I assured him. “It’s just…I want to know when we fuck that I’m the only person you’re going to be fucking from now on. I want to know that we’re exclusive.”
Dom smirked. “Is that so?”
“I mean, I told you that I’m in love with you. It should be obvious, but I think we need to talk about it, make sure we’re on the same page,” I said.
Dom reached out to cup my jaw, stroking his thumb across the stubble that had been growing since the day he stopped answering my texts.
“Smith Morgenstern,” he began. “I am in love with you. I’ve been head-over-heels since we met in Paris, and I’m going to continue being head-over-heels for the rest of our lives. I don’t know how I know it, but I do know it. I feel it in every fiber of my being. So, it should be obvious, you’re right. But given how badly we missed all the signs when we were abroad, I’m going to come out and ask. Will you go steady with me?”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m not Sandra Dee, you don’t have to be so old fashioned about it.”
“Is that a yes?” he asked, beaming.
“Of course it’s a goddamn yes,” I said. “I want to be with you every moment of every day. I want to delete my hook-up apps and start making videos about how to promote sex positivity and slut culture even when you’re in a committed relationship. Because I do believe it’s possible. I want to sleep with only you, and celebrate the fact that I’ll never get tired of it because you’re a fucking minx in the bedroom. I want this, I want you.”
“Sounds like we’re on the same page,” Dom said happily.
“Fucking finally,” I sighed, pulling him in for another kiss.
He rolled on top of me, shoving me onto my back, and tore off my t-shirt. His hands roamed across my skin hungrily, followed by his mouth. I arched into the sensation as he began sucking a mark into the thin skin over my sternum. My hands dug into his hair, pulling just enough to make him moan, and I felt his cock hardening through our pants.
God, it was fucking hot. We went from zero to sixty, desperate for each other. I yanked harder on his hair and he let out this delectable little growl, reaching down to shove our pants and underwear down around our knees. Our cocks sprang free, and I got one hand around both of them, the other hand still tugging on Dom’s hair.
We were a mess, panting and sweating and rutting against each other. But it was the best damn mess of my entire life.
“Tell me what you want,” I gasped, mouthing at his neck.
Dom moaned loudly, an animal cry. He was losing control in the very best way, and I was right there with him.
“Want to fuck you,” Dom whined.
“God yes,” I cried, my entire body pulsing with desire. “I need you.”
He thrust abortively against my abdomen and then rolled off of me, opening the bedside table drawer and pulling out a bottle of lube.
“I fucking love you,” I muttered, pulling him back over to me.
“Left it there last time I visited—oh god—”
I was fisting his cock, jacking him slow and torturous. He shuddered violently, trying to spread lube across his fingers and spilling it all over the sheets.
“Problem?” I asked, doing my best to sound cocky rather than fucked out. For christsake, we had barely even started yet.
“It’s hard to concentrate when you’re—fuck—jerking me off,” he gasped.
“Sounds like you need a lesson in multitasking,” I said, running my thumb along his slit.
His eyes fluttered shut and he threw his head back, exposing his long, gorgeous neck. I couldn’t resist leaning up to bite at it, sucking at the smooth skin until a hickey began to bloom.
“Smith,” he moaned, sounding utterly blissed out.
“Need you inside of me,” I told him, pressing a soft kiss over the mark I had just left.
He pushed me back so that I was lying against a pile of pillows and spread my legs, situating himself between them.
“It’s been a while since I’ve done this to anyone,” Dom said, his voice small and vulnerable.
“It’s been a while since anyone’s done this to me,” I replied with a smile. “It’s going to be amazing. It always is, with you.”
That gave him the courage he needed. He began messaging my hole with one slick finger, teasing for just a moment, before he slid it all the way in. My body instinctively relaxed around the intrusion, and I set out a soft little sigh. It was just as good as I had hoped—the connection, the knowledge that Dom was inside of me.
“Gimme another,” I said, trying to sound commanding but landing somewhere closer to blissed out.
“You sure you’re ready?” he asked, pressing a kiss to the inside of my knee.
“Please.”
The second finger pressed in alongside the first, a marvelous stretch. Some people are all about prostate stimulation, or the friction of being fucked hard and fast. Me? I was obsessed with the process of getting prepped. I loved the build of it, the connection I felt to my partner. I could’ve laid there forever, Dom gently fingerfucking me, just riding the high.
And Dom, my lover, he saw that. He took his sweet time with me, stroking my body from the inside, exploring every bit of me he could reach with those two fingers. When I started pressing back against his hand, he made soft, gentling noises and bent to press his mouth against the place where his fingers were disappearing into me.
He licked around—and then between—his own fingers, getting his tongue inside of me and moaning as he did so. This wasn’t all about my pleasure, it was getting
us both off. I gathered my wits enough to reach down and palm his cock, and found that his balls were drawn up tight against his body. It was humbling, so fucking humbling, to know that I could take him straight to the edge through the simple act of putting my pleasure in his hands.
“You need to fuck me,” I begged.
“There’s no rush,” he said, kissing my asshole so damn sweetly.
“I don’t want you to come until you’re inside of me,” I said desperately. “Please, Dom.”
He sat up and pulled his fingers out of me. I sighed at the loss, knowing that it wouldn’t last long. He slicked his cock and began pressing in so very slowly. His eyes slipped shut, and he let out the most glorious cry I had ever heard.
“Oh Smith,” he panted. “Oh fuck, this is so much better than it’s ever been before.”
“I know, baby,” I soothed, breathing deep and slow as I adjusted to his girth. “You feel amazing.”
He gave me time to adjust, lying very still and running his hands gently through my hair, over my shoulders, up the back of my neck. I planted my feet firmly on the bed and began thrusting, showing him how ready I was.
Dom took the cue, rocking into me smooth and steady. It wasn’t frantic, or rushed, or rough. It wasn’t even all that intense, at first. It was gentle, and loving, and goddamn incredible. And just as I was falling in love with the way Dom was fucking me, he took my cock in his hand and began stroking it in rhythm with his thrusts. Slowly but surely, he began speeding up, ratcheting up the intensity until the world narrowed down to just him and me. It was all-consuming, earth shattering, fucking devastating in the best way.
I knew my orgasm was about to hit before I felt it. There was this blinding moment of clarity, my eyes fixed unblinkingly on Dom’s, and then the pleasure was coursing through my bloodstream, spreading through my body until I was obliterated by it. Every inch of me felt like it was coming, and my mouth fell open in a silent cry. I was beyond the ability to make noise, beyond having any control of my limbs.
Everything faded into bliss, my vision whiting out and my ears rushing. I was submerged in pleasure.
It took a few minutes for us to come back to the real world. Dom must’ve pulled out, because we were lying side by side, our hands clasped tightly, when my brain came back online. My eyes swept down his body and I managed a triumphant smile.
“That was,” I told him, “without a doubt, the most incredible sex of my entire life.”
“High praise, coming from a professional slut,” he teased, leaning over to kiss me.
“You rocked my world. I’m never getting out of this bed again,” I declared.
“How about you come with me to the shower and I’ll lick the cum out of your ass?” Dom offered.
I pretended to think about it. “Oh, alright. You’ve convinced me.”
“It’s a good thing the sex is off the charts,” Dom said. “Seeing as you’ve completely rearranged your values for this relationship.”
“Dom,” I said seriously, pulling him in so that I could whisper in his ear. “I am the luckiest man in the world. My values are exactly where I want them to be.”
“And are you exactly where you want to be?” he asked, grinning.
“I sure as hell am,” I assured him. “Thanks for being patient with me. I know I was skittish for a while.”
“You were skittish, I was obsessed with not being needy. And then you were the one who flew across the country because I didn’t answer a couple of text messages,” he teased.
“Sounds like we both learned something about relationships,” I said.
“Thank fucking god,” Dom replied, kissing me soundly on the mouth.
Epilogue
Dom - Two Years Later
“God, it’s fucking beautiful here,” Smith said, looking out at the sun setting over the Aegean Sea.
“I know, I’m obsessed,” I replied, handing him a glass of wine and sitting down on the beach beside him.
“You think we should just move to Mykonos?” Smith asked, taking a thoughtful sip.
“I think we’re still paying off our condo in Seattle. Let’s at least wrap up that mortgage before we decide to move overseas,” I said, dusting a bit of sand off his shoulder.
“We’re also making bank with our travel channel. C’mon, let a boy dream a little. I want at least a vacation home here,” Smith wheedled.
I rolled my eyes at him.
The last couple of years had been a whirlwind. We’d stayed in New York with my mom for a couple of weeks after she got out of the hospital, and during that time Smith and I had really hashed out what we wanted our relationship to look like. It wasn’t hard—we had similar goals. He wanted to travel and I wanted a home base to come back to between trips. We both wanted to keep making a living through YourTube.
For the first year after we launched our new YourTube channel, we also kept up our individual work. We were working insane hours, producing videos at a ridiculous pace. But our joint channel was based around traveling as a gay couple, so we were constantly out of town, sleeping in a different city every week. It was getting exhausting.
So, when a couple of big name companies in the travel industry offered to sponsor us, we wrapped up work on our individual channels and devoted ourselves full time to working together. It was a dream come true—we were seeing all the countries we’d dreamed of visiting, and we were doing it together. Add in the fact that we were able to afford a gorgeous condo just ten minutes from where I had been living with my friends, and my life was just about perfect.
“You want a vacation home in Mykonos?” I asked, pretending to consider it. “Okay. Are we getting that one before or after we buy that villa you fell in love with in Spain?”
“Oh, shut up,” said Smith, grinning.
“Aw shit, and there was that apartment in Germany that you insisted we had to have,” I added.
“Okay, okay, I get it—”
“Wait,” I interrupted him. “I’m missing one. Oh yeah, that gorgeous house in Honduras. We’ll need to buy that one before we even start thinking about looking at real estate in Greece.”
“You’re an ass,” Smith told me, draining his wine glass.
“Good thing you’re in love with me,” I said, leaning my head on his shoulder.
“I really, truly am,” he sighed.
I looked down at the sand, where he had grabbed hold of one of my hands, entwining our fingers together. A thin gold ring glinted up at me from my own ring finger.
“You know, we’ve been engaged for a while,” I said casually.
“We have,” he agreed, stealing a chaste kiss from me.
“You think it might be time to start doing some wedding planning?” I asked.
He shrugged. “You said you wanted to wait until our lives slowed down a bit.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I know. But…I don’t think we’re the kind of people whose lives are going to slow down anytime soon. You know?”
He nodded, grinning.
“So, are you saying…?”
“Wipe that smug look off your face,” I said, elbowing him in the ribs. “I’m saying, instead of buying a million vacation homes, we should plan one hell of a destination wedding.”
Smith’s eyes lit up. “A destination wedding? Seriously?”
“I mean, if you’d rather just go to the courthouse in Seattle—”
“Fuck that, I want passports and hotels and the whole shebang,” Smith said excitedly.
“Done,” I said with a smile. “You can pick any country you want. Just…you know, somewhere gay marriage is legal.”
“Holy shit, holy shit, we’re getting married!”
“We’ve been engaged for over a year, this shouldn’t come as a shock,” I said, laughing.
“But we’re getting married imminently,” he nearly shouted.
“Wanna go back to the hotel and start making Pinterest boards?” I asked, delighted by his response.
“Fuck that, I want to
go back to the hotel and screw my future husband into the mattress,” Smith said, smirking.
“Sounds good to me,” I said, standing up and reaching out a hand to help him.
The rest of the night was a blur of sex and sloppy kisses and celebratory champagne. And yeah, Pinterest boards. We were planning a wedding after all.
I knew the next several months of my life would involve arguing over the cake and the music and the damn color scheme. And if I’m being honest? I was looking forward to every minute of it.
Every single day of our relationship was an adventure. More often than not, we were adventuring with nothing but the packs on our backs and our love for each other. And that was enough. That was so much more than enough. Because Smith and I had found each other, against all odds. We had found each other, and we were holding on tight, unwilling to let go.
There were a lot of challenges in our lives, a lot of barriers to break down. But that’s the nature of human existence. And there was nobody, not a single person in the entire world, I would rather go through that with.
Our wedding would be perfect because Smith was perfect for me, and I for him. And our lives? Well, those would be perfect too.
So damn perfect.
The End
Fragile Ground
Released November 2017
“Sorry, do I know you?”
The last thing Olivier Sauveterre remembers, he was a closeted college senior, balancing furtive hookups with writing his thesis. But when a nasty car accident robs him of two years of memories, he finds himself thousands of miles from home, covered in tattoos, living with a man he doesn’t recognize. Gorgeous and enigmatic, Auriel is just Olivier’s type—but it’s clear there’s a big secret his supposed “housemate” isn’t telling him.
“We’re not just roommates; you’re the love of my life.”
Auriel Floros loves everything about his life: his job, his overgrown garden, and most all, his boyfriend Olivier. Quick-witted and fiercely passionate, Olivier is the perfect partner…up until he forgets who Auriel is. Suddenly, their happily ever after shatters before Auriel’s eyes. But medical professionals warn Auriel to keep Olivier’s stress level at a minimum, and Auriel makes the heart-breaking decision to pretend he and Olivier were friends and housemates—nothing more.
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