He heard her voice, and saw her wide eyes. She was breathing hard as if she’d been running, and he could see the pointed nipples rise and fall on her chest. Her breasts were a little bigger, but that was the only physical difference he could see.
He wanted to be witness to every inch of her, though.
Khalid wanted her again as his.
With his look Aubrey felt the summons of his desire roll through her.
She felt her own pulse in her neck match the throb between her thighs, and a lick of want curled her insides, though she fought to remind herself that they needed to speak.
Fought to convince herself that she did not need his touch, and that she could deny his kiss.
Yet now, when he held out his arms, she flew into them with as much force as if she’d fallen from her hoop in the sky.
A year of pain and of loss didn’t fade as they touched; instead, it ratcheted up as his mouth again reclaimed hers.
He knew now.
And there were no words that could help for neither knew the answers; touch sufficed for now.
Almost.
The thoughtful lover she had known was gone on this dark desert night. He was bearded and rough with his kisses and his tongue forced her mouth open and allowed for no breath.
The force of him toppled her backwards but his arms cushioned her landing.
He slid the belt from his robe and tore at her flimsy costume, exposing her breasts, and then he ripped at the little enclosed panties.
‘Forgive me,’ he said as his thighs roughly parted her legs.
‘Nothing to forgive,’ she moaned between hot kisses.
Yet it was Khalid who remembered. ‘Will it hurt after the baby?’
‘I don’t know,’ she admitted, though she was frantic to find out, and she moaned as he slowly entered and she stretched as he filled her. The shudder he gave told of Khalid’s gratification to be inside her at last. ‘No,’ she said, for it did not hurt.
A year of suffering was removed.
He rose up on his arms and he placed them either side of her head and he looked right into Aubrey’s eyes.
She touched his face, she touched his shoulders, she felt his power ignite her again, even when weak in his arms.
Aubrey felt the tiny warnings from her body, and he drove harder and faster, and then he stilled and shot power the length of her spine. Yet even as she came she sobbed, for he pulled out. ‘Khalid...’
It was unexpected, delicious, empty, as he pulsed over her, and Aubrey eased up on her elbows, watching as he stroked the last drops onto her. She was breathless and satisfied, yet not. ‘I’m on the Pill.’
‘So you said.’ His words came out dark and accusing, but he was holding onto the edge for dear life, for it had taken more willpower than Khalid had thought he possessed to pull out.
She went to get up, to huff in offence, but he pulled her back into his arms and would not let her walk off. ‘I want to take care of you both...’ He hesitated.
‘But...?’ Aubrey asked, for she knew that there was one.
Khalid offered no response.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
‘BUT...?’ SHE VENTURED AGAIN.
Instead of answering, Khalid suggested that she eat and then they would speak.
And while she would far rather lie in his arms, the simple fact was that she was hungry.
There was another reason, though.
Aubrey wanted a table between them while they discussed their son. She did not want the balm of his arms, for she wanted to pay full attention.
Aayiz came first, last and always. He had since the night she had found out that she was expecting him, and nothing was going to change that. She didn’t know what Khalid would suggest, or how much visitation he might want, but she was grateful for the chance to eat and to regroup.
He showed her where she could freshen up and told her that food would soon be served.
Aubrey parted a drape and stepped into an area lit by pretty lanterns. It seemed odd that in the middle of the desert there was a warm bath already drawn.
There was no #71 to dial here, for it was all taken care of.
Aubrey swirled her hand in the milky water. The scent was floral yet not sickly sweet and her skin was soft and oily when she removed her hand and she just could not resist climbing in.
The sigh she gave was not just because of the bliss of the water on her tired, aching muscles but more that Khalid finally knew about Aayiz.
It felt as if a huge burden had been lifted.
Aubrey rinsed off and then climbed out of the deep bath. The oils formed little drops on her body and there were no towels that she could see, and so Aubrey massaged the oil into her skin and looked around for something to cover her.
There were no bath robes either and she padded through to a draped area that looked like a dressing room, for there were mirrors and jewels, silk scarves and perfumes too.
There was also a crimson velvet robe on a stand with a jewelled collar and huge jewelled cuffs.
He really had planned this, Aubrey realised, imagining his aides preparing the tent, and that unnerved her all over again.
Even with her bombshell, it still felt as if Khalid was ahead.
She lifted the robe and though the velvet was soft and warm between her fingers and she was starting to shiver, Aubrey left it on the stand.
She was sick and tired of dressing for men.
It didn’t take long to find a pale muslin slip that was probably an undergarment, but it felt a whole lot better than crimson velvet. Then, having run a comb through her hair, she ignored the glass bottles and potions and instead placed a heavy silk fringed scarf around her shoulders before heading out.
Khalid made no comment as she took a seat at the low table.
He dared not.
For, if he did, he might tell her that she reminded him of the day they had met, when she had held a scarf around her shoulders.
And he might tell her that she reminded him of that first night when he had come to her room and seen her pale, fragile features without make-up, or that day in the park when he had first realised his deep love. But that would be cruel.
For if love could fix this then it already would have.
‘You’re not eating,’ Aubrey said, when she saw there was only a place set for one.
‘I ate at the hotel,’ Khalid said. ‘I had this prepared for you.’
‘What is it?’ Aubrey asked, because the aromas were amazing as she lifted a lid on a small earthenware pot in front of her.
‘Piti,’ Khalid said. ‘Lamb and chickpeas...’
There was saffron and mint in it too, Aubrey thought as she took her first taste. It was completely delicious.
‘It translates to “soup for the soul”.’
‘The translation is correct.’ Aubrey smiled.
There was qutab too, a bready pancake stuffed with cheese and lamb. And as she bit in to it, she was very grateful that he did not push her for answers, for she was indeed seriously hungry.
‘There was a staff party after the performance,’ Aubrey explained. ‘With lots of food and things.’
‘Are you sorry you missed it?’
‘No,’ Aubrey admitted. ‘I’m just saying I would have eaten by now. This is nice.’
‘Good.’
There was black tea with cubes of sugar and lemon, served in heavy crystal glasses, and it was refreshing and sweet all at once.
He watched as colour warmed her cheeks and he held back from saying what he had to, unsure how it would be received, and wanting her to have had nourishment first, so instead of asking about Aayiz he asked about her instead.
And always she surprised him.
‘I’ve been having violin lessons.’
‘For how long?’
‘Since...’ She thought back. ‘Since a couple of weeks after we met. Nobody knows,’ she added.
‘Why not?’
Aubrey took a mouthful of piti before answering him. Khalid was right, it really was food for the soul, for it was warming and nourishing and it gave her a pause to think before answering. Why hadn’t she told her aunt and mom? ‘I feel a little bit guilty, I guess,’ Aubrey admitted. ‘I wasn’t working for a while...’
‘You supported your mother when she didn’t.’
‘I know,’ Aubrey agreed. ‘And that’s why I chose to stay quiet.’ She gave him a smile. ‘I love my mom. I do. I absolutely do, but she sure knows how to push my buttons.’
Khalid smiled, and as he did so it occurred to him he had barely smiled for a year, yet the very curve of her lips had him doing the same.
‘And,’ Aubrey continued, ‘I knew if I told her then she’d think of a million things I should be doing instead with my time and money.’ She liked it that Khalid said nothing, that he waited for her to think and then to elaborate. ‘I need my music, Khalid. I need something that is just for me.’
‘I agree.’
‘What do you have that is just for you?’ she asked, tearing a piece of qutab and giving him half.
Without thinking, Khalid took it and dipped the bread in her bowl.
No longer strangers, and closer to each other than he had ever imagined they could be.
‘I don’t have...’ He was about to point out that he really didn’t have time, yet that wasn’t quite right. ‘I draw.’
‘You can draw?’ Aubrey said. ‘Wow!’
‘No, there is no wow to my drawings,’ Khalid said, ‘they are technical ones.’ He adored her slight frown. ‘I picture Al-Zahan how to my eyes it should be.’
‘Such as?’
Khalid swallowed, for his sketches were made here in the desert and then burnt, for his visions were not for others, yet he looked at Aubrey and he wanted to share them with her.
‘I would like to see a sea bridge link us to the mainland.’
He waited for her to tell him how impossible that would be, or perhaps he wanted his own ‘wow’. Instead, she shuddered.
‘What?’ Khalid asked.
‘You’d never get me on one.’
‘Says the woman who flies in the sky.’
‘True,’ Aubrey admitted, and then she thought of the stunning Royal Al-Zahan hotel, and all the genius in his very private mind. She would dance on any sea bridge he built! She would walk a tightrope to the mainland if it had been designed by those knowing eyes. ‘It sounds amazing,’ Aubrey said, and really thought about it. ‘Wow.’
Khalid stayed silent, for even he could not comprehend just how much it helped to hear that from Aubrey.
‘Have you done anything about it?’ she asked.
‘No,’ Khalid said. ‘The King considers the hotel to be an abomination. He loathes the mainland too...’
‘Do you?’
‘Not at all. Their Queen is a kind and wise ruler. I have made much effort to forge better relations but, of course, the king does his best to dismantle any progress made. Take tonight—he left after the speeches, and it was a snub.’
‘Ah, but while the cat’s away...’
Khalid frowned. ‘The cat?’
‘It’s a saying. While the cat’s away the mice will play.’
‘I don’t play games, Aubrey.’
‘Perhaps you should...’ Her hand went to creep across the table but she pulled it back. Aubrey had never flirted in her life, but it came readily to her when she was with him. She wanted to play, she wanted to demand halva ice cream for dessert.
She wanted, she wanted, she wanted.
But there were such important things that simply had to be discussed first.
And so she mopped the last of the piti and popped the last of the qutab into her mouth, and swallowed it down, and she looked at her empty plate and remembered again how kind he had been in the overwhelming restaurant that night.
Oh, that night. ‘I had an ear infection when I met you.’
‘I remember.’
‘I was taking some of my mother’s antibiotics, but I didn’t know they affected the Pill.’
‘It doesn’t matter now,’ Khalid said.
‘Believe me, it did at the time,’ Aubrey said, and rolled her eyes, but then she was serious. ‘I had no idea.’
‘How did your mother take it?’
Aubrey stared at her empty plate and decided that there were some conversations that didn’t need to be repeated. ‘Not brilliantly at first, but she soon came round. She’s been great actually.’
‘And how have you been?’
‘Well.’
‘Aubrey?’
‘I have been,’ she insisted. ‘He’s such a wonderful baby, Khalid. He’s serious like you, but when he smiles...’ And she suddenly felt as if she was trying to sell her son to an unwilling buyer. ‘He’s so like you, I always tell him he’s his father’s son.’
‘Aubrey,’ Khalid said, and he reached for her hand. ‘I know it has been a struggle, but those days are over now. You can live here with your child, and I shall see you when I can...’
‘When you choose?’ Aubrey checked, and he slowly nodded and even held her eyes as he spoke on.
‘And you and Aayiz would live in luxury in a compound by the palace, and at times I would bring you here.’
‘With our son?’
‘No, I would bring you here to spend time with me.’
‘And what would our son do?’
‘He will not be recognised as my son.’
Aubrey thought she had known heartache.
In this difficult year, she thought she had known pain and loss.
Now she met its maker.
‘I hate you for that, Khalid.’
‘I know,’ Khalid said, for he hated that of himself too. ‘But it is the law and I am not yet King.’ He breathed, and he looked at her furious eyes. ‘But this way I could take care of you and the baby.’
‘His name is Aayiz,’ Aubrey said. ‘He looks like you and he is serious like you and he smiles like you. How can you say he is not your son?’
‘Aubrey, I told you from the start we cannot be and that you cannot get pregnant by me. I knew you could not accept the rules.’
‘Well, I did get pregnant...’ She choked on her sobs. ‘And I was terrified, and I got ill, and I was even more scared, and when Aayiz was born two months early I have never been more petrified in my life, but he is my son, and so I dealt with it. And as I said to my mother, I will raise my son. If you really think I’m going to join your harem...’
‘It would not be a harem. There would be only you.’
‘Oh, that’s right. I’d be your ikbal—your chosen one, your favourite one. Screw you, Khalid.’
‘Don’t be vulgar.’
‘You tell me to be your whore and then you tell me not to be vulgar? You’re quite a contradiction, Sheikh Prince Khalid.’
‘Silence!’ Khalid said. ‘Listen. You can make your music for me.’
Aubrey laughed.
‘I wasn’t joking.’
‘That’s the part that made me laugh.’ But not for long. Aubrey was serious now. ‘I would live here and our son would have no status?’
‘Who would want this status?’ Khalid said. ‘It would be better for him than carrying the weight of the crown. He would be educated, wealthy...’
‘Still a bastard,’ Aubrey said. ‘And I’m allowed to say that about him, no one else,’ she said, ‘and I’m doubly allowed to say that, because I’m one too.’ She looked at him.
‘No.’ Aubrey held strong, more for Aayiz than herself. ‘You can do better.’
‘This is not a negotiation,’ Khalid said.
‘This conv
ersation is over then.’
She demanded better, insisted on better, and Khalid laid every card he had on the table. ‘I will speak with the King.’ And deal with the elders and the uproar from his people and the hungry press. But he did not burden her with that. ‘Instead of here, you can live in America, and I will see you there.’
‘And our son?’ Aubrey checked.
He nodded. ‘It would be less disrespectful to my wife if you are abroad.’ The rules felt like hot coals that he juggled as he tried to do better by Aubrey than his father had by his mother.
‘You’ll be marrying then?’ Aubrey checked.
‘Of course.’
‘And do I get to have a husband?’
‘No.’
‘Then this conversation really is over, Khalid.’
In her wildest imaginings, she had anticipated a battle of wills regarding their son, for him to demand to see him, to be furious at not being informed.
Not this cold indifference to their beautiful boy.
She was nothing, neither was her son. ‘Over and over you hurt me, Khalid.’
‘I would never hurt you.’
‘But you do, you do, you do. Every time you tell me I’m not suitable, every time you tell me that we could never be. Well, no more.’ Aubrey was tough—she’d had to be—and she faced him with clear, angry blue eyes. ‘I don’t need you, Khalid.’ He opened his mouth to refute that but she spoke fast, lest she waver. ‘I never knew my father and I survived.’
‘Bare...’
He was about to say barely, about to point out what she had to do to survive, yet he looked at her, proud and strong, and there was no barely about it.
It was humbling to know that Aubrey and his child would survive without him. Not just that, he could see that Aubrey would thrive.
‘You’ll have other sons, Khalid. Ones deemed worthy to be royal and to be recognised. I won’t let my son be second best.
‘You cannot expect my son to be raised in a trailer park...’
‘Khalid.’ She stopped him right there. ‘If I am to raise him singlehanded then I need my family and friends around me, and that’s where they happen to be.’
‘I shall give you enough money—’
‘And that money will go towards his education, and when I consider him old enough, Aayiz will be a wealthy young man. He’ll also know the value of hard work and he’ll know the value too of a strong, independent woman.’ That Khalid thought he could buy her angered Aubrey. ‘I’m not a martyr, Khalid. If I can’t make the rent then I’ll dip into the funds, but I’ll do my damnedest not to.’
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