by V. Muñoz
“Oh sweetheart, I know it can be sometimes. Let’s get your room ready and clean you up, you’re too pretty to look so sad.” Her smile warmed my heart and I gladly followed her to the room she always prepared for me. Eunji cleaned the cuts on my hands and gave me makeup remover and some items to clean myself up. When she was finished tending to my wounds, she left the room only to come back quickly with nightwear and some food. Her kindness made tears well up in the corner of my eyes.
“Oh, Valentina, sweetheart don’t cry, please. Eat something and then get some rest . You deserve it.” She squeezed my upper arm lovingly before she left the room. I didn’t find the energy to eat , so I just changed into the big shirt and boxers she had brought me. When I looked closer at the shirt and read the label, I smiled bitterly. It was one of Namjoon’s. He always forgot something here, and of course Eunji would give me his stuff to wear . S he knew how close him and I were. I touched the soft fabric and smiled at the memory attached to it - the little label that usually has the size and material had a black smiley drawn on it. I had drawn it into the shirt because Namjoon had been unhappy at that time and that little smiley was meant to protect him from the sadness . His mood had lit up within the blink of an eye when I did that. Now I just hoped that the little magic of that shirt would work for me too.
I woke up the next day feeling relaxed and quickly took a much-needed shower before I made my way down to the reception. Eunji’s bed & breakfast could house at most seven guests at the same time, and today there were only two other rooms occupied. I didn’t know what to do and knew too well that I needed something to distract myself from all the thoughts running through my head.
“Eunji, do you need help with anything?” The old woman turned around to face me but shook her head.
“How about you go to the beach, sweetheart? I heard the weather is great for a walk.” Eunji could be very stubborn when it came to things like me helping her,so I decided to give in and walked to the beach.
The best thing about the bed & breakfast, besides Eunji, was the beach right in front of it - as soon as I went through the backdoor, my feet hit the sand. That’s what had made me fall in love with the place. I had left my shoes in my room since they were silver high heels and I couldn’t walk with heels through the sand. The comfortable warmth of the sand was reason enough to set the shoes aside.
I walked until I reached the shore, the lukewarm water rising up to my ankles. The ocean always had a calming effect on me, and I immediately felt how my mind wasn’t cluttered anymore. I decided to sit down and enjoy the water splashing on my feet as the waves came and went . The soft sound of the waves crashing against the shore was all I heard for the next few hours.
Namjoon
I had to wait until the early morning hours of the next day before I could finally board a flight to Jeju. I forgot my smartphone at the venue of Nari’s birthday party, so I couldn’t even contact Chinhae to ask him for the private jet. That’s why I decided to sleep at the airport, making me groan in pain because it wasn’t the most comfortable place to take a nap.
I was still dressed in my white button up, black skinny jeans , black leather jacket and boots, with my knuckles torn and swollen . I probably looked more like a criminal on the run than a Chaebol heir, and the thought made me chuckle to myself. I really hadn’t thought thi ngs through when I drove to the airport, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered to me was getting to Jeju island to find Valentina. With the ring in my pocket and nothing else except my passport, some cash and a credit card, I finally boarded the flight and anxiously tapped my leg until I landed at my final destination.
It was a 30-minute ta xi ride to the bed & breakfast, making me grow more anxious with every passing second. How would she react when she saw me? Was she even there? And if so, would she even listen to me? I hated the thought that maybe I had lost her for good. Deep down I felt a little spark of hope that things would work out in my favor.
I paid the taxi driver and almost knocked over another guest over when I ran into the bed & breakfast, making Eunji scold me.
“Yah, Namjoon! You need to watch where you’re walking! Did you become even bigger? Oh boy, you look horrible.” The scolding quickly ended with a worried look from the old lady, who seemed visibly shocked at my current state.
I loved that old woman like she was my grandmother as she had taken care of me ever since I ran away during a vacation once and needed a place to crash. When she saw the scared young boy with a bruise on his cheek, she didn’t even ask me why I was sitting in front of her porch. She just took me in and gave me something to eat. From that day on, whenever I felt overwhelmed by the world or when Valentina needed me when her father had been arrested, I came to Eunji’s.
“Sorry, Eunji . ” I gave her a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry I barged in like a bull in a china shop, but is Valentina here?”
God, I held so much hope that she was here and if she was, that she wouldn’t reject me. The older woman narrowed her eyes at me. “Shouldn’t you know that Namjoon? She’s your girlfriend, you have to look out for her!”
I sighed but still smiled. “Eunji, I told you multiple times – we’re best friends S he’s not my girlfriend. Well, technically she kinda is now. Or more like, she’s my wife now? I don’t know , ” I began rambling and scanned the room nervously. Eunji’s hearty laughter finally made me stop.
“Oh boy, have some tea with me first. It ’s start ing to make sense now.” Her words confused me even more. Eunji opened the door to her office and waved me in. “She’s here, but I guess you have some explaining to do before I let you go to her, Namjoon. Now, tell me why she showed up yesterday with glass cuts on her hands and today you show up with broken skin on your knuckles . ”
Eunji’s protectiveness was something I had always loved about her. Even if Val and I were practically strangers to her, she had been protective of the two of us since day one. And it wasn’t because she knew we were rich, because she never asked for more money than what she normally charged . She even banned us from giving her extra cash. It was because she knew how families like ours worked and how hard it was having parents who only cared about what others thought and pushed us to marry peop le who were the best option to secure business deals.
*
I told Eunji everything - that I had liked Valentina for years, why I married her, that I had left her in that hotel room after I showed her my love and opened up to her and that I ignored her because I was afraid. And that a misunderstanding had led to her coming here. When I finished talking, my hands were shaking. It was terrifying for me to talk about this and Eunji knew that.
She took my hands in hers, squeezing them gently. “See, I knew there was always something between you two. But it is really unfortunate how things worked out for you. You do love her, right?” She raised her eyebrows.
I nodded and gulped down the lump in my throat. “More than anything, I just realized that now… she’s the love of my life.” My cheeks turned red as I confessed my feelings for Valentina in front of the old lady.
“Then tell her,” Eunji said as if it was the easiest way to fix everything. But things weren’t that easy.
I sighed. “What if she doesn’t believe me? What if she doesn’t forgive me?”
“Then you tell her again and again until she believes you and forgives you. If you really love her, you won’t give up even when she rejects you. Now enough talking, I have work to do, and you need to fix this. She’s at the beach right now.” She patted my shoulder and gestured for me to go through the backdoor. I gave her a thankful smile but also felt my heart drop to my feet once I took the first step outside.
I was still afraid of being rejected, just like my mom had years ago. What if Valentina was the same? What if she chose to hate me forever? My mother made sure that I knew I wasn’t someone who deserved to be loved. That’s why it was hard for me to open up, because the person I thought would love me unconditionally made sure I wouldn’t get love from her
at all.
I was lost in my thoughts when I finally looked up and saw Val’s figure sitting in the sand at the shore. Her hair was waving in the light wind and her feet were disappearing into the water under the soft waves. Her palms were pressed into the sand and held her up, her face illuminated by the sun. I had never s een anyone more beautiful than Valentina in that very moment and it made my small spark of hope grow bigger. I carefully walked closer to her, my boots in my hands when I finally reached her. She had her eyes closed, a soft smile playing on her lips and I hated that this sight would probably be gone as soon as I talked to her. With a final deep breath, I sat down next to her, leaving some space between us.
Valentina
“I’m sorry I hurt you, Val.” I’d recognize that deep timbre voice anywhere. Kim Namjoon. He was here and had apologized to me. I didn’t dare open my eyes as it felt more like a dream that he would be here to fight for me. After all, why would he? He’d been clear that he wasn’t serious about his feelings for me and that it was just a game to him. So I kept my eyes closed, hearing his deep voice again.
“Princess, please… I’m so sorry for everything that went wrong the last two days. I… I was the biggest idiot and I never wanted to hurt your feelings… I didn’t want to leave you alone in Seoul, but I was so afraid of my feelings for you… and I didn’t make out with anyone on Nari’s birthday, you have to believe me on that. Soobin was there and threw herself at me before I could even react and Chinhae just saw that part and then things blew up and…” He fell silent next to me and that was the point where I finally opened my eyes and looked at him. He really was there; it was not my mind playing tricks on me. Namjoon had followed me to Jeju I sland and was sitting with me on the beach, apologizing. He hadn’t realized that I was looking at him and kept on rambling. “I love you, Valentina. So much, it almost hurts, and I don’t want to ruin this, I need you… I love you…”
When he finally look ed at me, he almost jumped when he saw my gaze fixed at him. “Why are you so confusing, Kim Namjoon?”
My words made him blink in irritation and I could also see the panic start ing to rise inside him.
“Uhm… confusing? I-I’m not sure about that…” His stuttering made me grin at him, pushing him to the edge of freaking out. Namjoon knitted his eyebrows and searched my gaze “W-why are you grinning like that now?”
“You’re cute when you’re nervous.” I turned and shrugged it off like it was not a big deal , but I could see Namjoon smiling shyly in the corner of my eye . “And I mean that you’re confusing. Like, one day you’re telling me you love me and the next day you push me away. What’s the real you, Namjoon?”
I felt Namjoon shift his position and at first thought that my words had driven him off, but I was prove n wrong – within seconds Namjoon was in front of me, knees in the wet sand and his feet getting washed over by the waves. I tilted my head at him.
“I’m both. God, I’m both, Valentina... and I wish it was easier for me to not just shut you out every time things get hard, but it’s not. It’s scary as fuck for me to be honest… I love you, but I’m also scared to lose you and that you’ ll get tired of my fucked-up ass… I mean look what I’ve done…” He gestured to my hands before he ran his hands through his hair. “I hurt you because I pushed you away…”
I interrupted him at that point. “No, you hurt me because you’re a clumsy ass, Namjoon. This,” I held my palms up into his face. “happened because you and Chinhae decided to damage a whole conference room because of a misunderstanding and I tried to get in between you two. It was no t your intention to hurt me. And I know how hard it is for you to let someone in since your mother rejected you. Don’t look all shocked now . I’m your best friend, of course I know stuff like that even if you don’t tell me,” I gave him a knowing glance.
“But… you were so angry at me and told me that we’re done…” Namjoon searched my eyes for any sign that I was playing with him, but he didn’t find it.
“I was angry, yes. But I also kinda overreacted . I didn’t let you explain and ran off. I know how complicated you can be, but it didn’t stop me from falling for you. I could never be done with you, Joonie… And now we’re here.” I threw myself back into the sand with an annoyed huff. Namjoon carefully moved next to me and did the same. I was facing the sky, but Namjoon was lying on his side , looking at me.
“Valentina.” The softness in his voice made me turn my head to face him. “So… what now? Do you forgive me for being an absolute asshole to you? Do you… will you give me a second chance to make it better?” His hand wandered over my face nervously .
“I can’t just continue like nothing happened, Joonie…” Namjoon’s gaze dropped when he heard my words. I lifted myself up from the sand and Namjoon seemed to panic . He grabbed my hand and turned me around to face him.
“Please don’t leave me, princess. I meant everything I said… I love you. God damn, I love you and it feels scary as fuck to say that out loud, but I need you to know. I will tell you that every single day and prove it to you and maybe someday you’ll forgive me…” Namjoon was on his knees and clutch ing onto my hand as if his life depended on it.
“Joonie, stop.” I half giggled , half frowned at him. “What did you think I was doing? I wanted to go back to my room with you, don’t look so alarmed.”
Namjoon let out a relieved laugh. “And here I thought you were leaving me.” He shook his head and chuckled.
I reached out for his face and cupped his cheek in my hand. Namjoon was still holding my hand, my touch making him look up at me. “I’d never leave you, Joonie.” My voice was barely a whisper, but it still reached Namjoon’s ears. He turned his head to the side, his lips meeting my wrist, eyes never leaving mine . I gasped.
He slowly got up to his feet, entwining his fingers with mine. “Let’s go to your room, princess.” Namjoon smiled at me lovingly and grabbed his shoes from the sand.
*
I changed into Namjoon’s shirt as soon as I entered the room and Namjoon got rid of his pants, sitting on the bed in nothing but his half-opened shirt and boxers. His sleeves were pulled up , exposing his forearms, which turned me on in the blink of an eye. Namjoon noticed my hungry gaze and rais ed an eyebrow at me.
“We’re not fucking now, Val. At least not yet.” The playful tone in his voice made me grin. Still, I pouted, making him chuckle. “Come here, princess. Watch the sunset with me.”
I crawled onto the bed and made myself comfortable between Namjoon’s legs and he wrapped his arms around my body to pull me closer. The warmth radiating from him made me feel safe and hearing his heartbeat made me feel loved. Namjoon rested his chin on the top of my head, humming in satisfaction.
Sleep came over me after a while and I felt Namjoon chuckle. He tried to lay me down on the mattress but I just nuzzled closer to him, a hand resting on his chest. Namjoon eventually gave in and let me sleep, even if he could barely move. I woke up naked the next morning with Namjoon behind me, also naked, his arms wrapped around my body, soft snores coming out of his lips and his breath tickl ing my neck. I nuzzled closer to him; my movements waking him up as a loud yawn escaped him and a soft kiss landed on my shoulder.
“Good morning, princess.” Namjoon greeted me in his raspy morning voice, and I felt the heat pooling between my legs. I turned my head to meet his lips for a passionate kiss.
“Morning, Joonie,” I whispered against his lips, a smile plastered on my face. After some shuffling, I was finally lying on my back and I pulled him on top of me. Namjoon leaned down and kissed me, his tongue slipping into my mouth. I wrapped my legs around his waist and felt his cock graz e over my throbbing core, and we both moaned .
“So needy already?” Namjoon started peppering kisses along my neckline, one of his hands playing with my hardened nipple. His lips wandered down to the other one, softly licking over it, making me gasp. His fingers pinched my nipple as his tongue swirled around the other one, his teeth lightly grazing over
it.
“You’re so sensitive, babygirl. I can feel you dripping already, and I ’ve barely touched you.” I arched my back at the pleasure emanating from my body as he played my hard nipples, I could feel the smirk on his lips and I playfully slapped his upper arm.
“Joonie I need you…” I whined, desperate to fe el him inside me.
“Where do you need me? Use your words, princess.” He teased me, his fingers wandering over my exposed clit, making me tremble in anticipation.
“I need you inside me.” I pulled him into a heated kiss, my teeth clamping onto his lower lip, making him groan. Namjoon quickly lined himself up at my entrance and slowly pushed inside me. The feeling of him filling me to the brim made me rake my nails down his back as I whimpered into his ear.
Namjoon gave me a moment to adjust to his size but he also needed that moment for himself, as feeling me clenching around his cock made it hard for him not to bust a nut right away, that much I knew. He left a trail of butterfly kisses from my shoulder to my neck until he reached my lips and captured them in a sweet kiss, gently moving his tongue against mine. I moved my hips to gain some friction, too impatient to wait for his thrusts. Namjoon groaned and bit down on my shoulder.
“Val, wait… I won’t last long if you keep doing this , ” he choked out. I moved my hands from his back to his face, gently cupping it to make him look at me.
“I want you to cum, Joonie.” I dropped a kiss on his lips, making him mov e . His thrusts were slow but deep and he hit the perfect spot inside me, and I could feel my climax building up. However, Namjoon really meant what he said, that he wouldn’t last long with me clenching around him. Within seconds he came undone, spilling his hot seed into my pussy, a deep growl escaping his throat. When he became too sensitive to keep thrusting into me, he pulled out and I whined at the sudden loss. Namjoon reacted quickly, lowering himself to my pussy, watching his cum dripping out of it in fascination. One of his fingers teased my hole and pushed his cum back into it, making me moan. Namjoon added another finger and curled them in the perfect angle to hit my sweet spot, driving me closer to my climax.