Deep down, Shane knew what she’d left behind. She was just too gutless to be honest with herself. The sound of the tug’s horn grabbed her attention. Shane turned her head to see a skiff cutting across in front of the barge. She shook her head and muttered, “Idiot.” Pulling her glass back to her lips, she finished the last of her drink just as her cell phone beeped with a message. She hadn’t heard it ring, but then again, she’d probably turned it off on purpose. Dennis knew she’d be back today, but he’d told her to take as much time as she needed.
Shane walked back inside, poured another two fingers worth of bourbon into her glass and reached for her phone.
Your plane leaves at seven a.m. your time. I emailed you the flight information. Looking forward to seeing you. Talk soon.
She deleted the voicemail and saved the email. Then, she tipped the glass back, emptying its contents in one long swallow before heading to her room for a long, hot shower.
***
“We can leave today if you want us to,” Haley said.
“I thought you weren’t ready to get back on the road. Why the eagerness all of a sudden?” Rich asked.
“Does the label want us back on tour or not?” she growled.
He knew Shane had left, and he also knew that was a sore subject. Clearing his throat, he said, “Alright. Your bus will be there before five this afternoon.”
“Fine,” she replied, hanging up. She tossed her phone into the jumbled bed sheets and turned away from the folded letter staring back at her as she headed into her closet to start packing. She didn’t bother calling the band. Rich would make sure everyone was on the same page.
Chapter 39
The dry, Arizona heat sucked the breath right out of Shane’s lungs when she walked out of the airport. She felt like she’d stepped out of the refrigerator and into the microwave. She adjusted the jacket of her black pantsuit, wishing she could take it off.
“Where to?” the taxi driver asked, holding the door open.
“Federal Building,” she replied, checking her watch as she slid inside.
He simply nodded and rushed around to the driver’s seat.
Shane watched the streets of her hometown whiz by through the window as he drove towards downtown Phoenix.
“Here on business?” he asked, attempting to make small talk.
“Something like that,” she mumbled, feeling like she was a thousand miles away.
“Are you FBI?”
Shane shook her head.
“CIA?”
“I wouldn’t be able to tell you even if I was,” she answered.
The man peaked into the mirror, taking in her stark black suit and crisp white shirt. “Are you sure you’re not FBI?”
“You ever heard of Men in Black?” she asked seriously.
The man swallowed heavily, causing his Adam’s apple to bounce. Then, he gave a short nod and pulled alongside the curb, throwing the car in park, all while staring at her in the mirror.
Shane winked and got out. She looked up at the building and headed inside without looking back.
“I have an appointment,” she said, flashing her badge at the reception desk. The young man nodded and pointed towards the elevator. She didn’t need directions. This was the first office she’d ever worked out of. She knew her way around like the back of her hand. What she wasn’t used to, was Paul Rutledge, Supervisory Deputy United States Marshal written on the frosted glass door in black letters.
Shane knocked briefly, then turned the knob and pushed the door open.
“You look well,” Paul said, rushing over to hug her.
“Well for…someone who is on sabbatical, pending retirement…or someone who was stabbed nearly to death two weeks ago? Or…perhaps someone who is getting bullied by her old friend?”
“Ouch. I deserved that,” he said. “Sit down. Let’s talk.”
“You go first because honestly, I’m not sure what I want to say right now.”
“Okay. Have you been to see your parents?”
“What do they have to do with this meeting?” she questioned.
“Come on, Shane. It’s me. I might have a title, but I wouldn’t be in the marshal service if you hadn’t gotten me through FLETC, and we both know that.”
Shane nodded.
“If you hadn’t…”
“Left? Ran out? Quit? Which is it?”
“This position was yours. You wanted the titles and the authority that came with them. Not me.”
“Then, why are we here…in your Supervisory Deputy office, Paul?”
“Damn it, Shane,” he sighed.
“I didn’t come here to argue. I’m sorry.”
“What do you want? Do you want back in? Do you want to retire? What are you doing here?”
“You made me come in, and I promised to listen to what you had to say,” she answered.
“Alright. You’re good, Shane. Damn good. Too good to hang it all up…”
“Over a girl?” she said, pinning him with a stare. “She wasn’t just a girl, Paul. I messed up. I broke the cardinal rule of WITSEC. Then, I let her get killed.”
“I know.”
“How? It’s not in my file. No one knew I was involved with her.”
“They didn’t have to. Deputies lose people they’ve protected. No system is perfect. You lost yourself when you lost her. That only happens for one reason.”
“Time had gone by. She was married. It was long over.”
“Doesn’t matter. It cut you deep enough to nearly bleed out.”
“Fuck me for caring,” she growled. “I’m human. It’s hard not to care for the good ones when all we protect is dirt bags.”
“I agree a hundred percent, which is why I asked to have you assigned to me.”
“What can you do for me that no one else can?”
“Save your career before you piss all over it,” he said.
Shane didn’t say anything.
“I helped you back in Tennessee when I didn’t have to.”
“Why’d you do it?”
“Come back into the field. No WITSEC. You can work the Major Case Fugitive Program. That’s what you were doing when you left anyway.”
“I’m not coming back to Arizona.”
“I know you’ve been living in Memphis. Is that where you want to go?”
Shane thought for a minute, then heard herself saying, “Nashville.”
“I can bring you back in here and arrange a transfer…under one condition.”
“I knew there was a catch,” she mumbled, shaking her head.
“Are you in love with her?”
“What?”
“Answer me.”
“I’m not protecting her…or anyone else anymore, so why does it matter?”
“I want to make sure your head is clear. The next time you fall out of commission, the chief deputy is going to bury you.”
“I’ll take my chances.”
He sighed and shook his head.
“I’m fine, Paul. Honestly. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to come back at all.”
“Why are you here, then?”
“I promised to come here you out.”
He nodded. “I want you to volunteer for SOG.”
“What? Special operations isn’t really my thing,” she balked.
“Yes or no?”
“Full reinstatement?”
“Yes, as if you were never gone.”
“Can I think about it?”
“I have a meeting in fifteen minutes, so you have about thirteen to decide.”
Shane knew as soon as she agreed to come talk to Paul that she’d be reinstated, otherwise, she could’ve had him handle her retirement paperwork remotely. What bothered her was why she’d said Nashville. She had twelve minutes left. She could change her location. Did she want to? She was in a standoff with her old friend who also happened to be her current boss, but she had leverage. She coul
d go anywhere. Eleven minutes. Her mind raced with thoughts of MCFP. She’d loved working those cases. She was good at working those cases. Ten minutes.
“Take SOG off the table,” she said.
“What?”
You heard me. I’m in, if you take SOG out of the equation.”
“Why?”
“I’m not interested. I’ve done enough high-profile bullshit. I want the simple life, or at least as simple as it gets as a Deputy Marshal. I’ll work MCFP cases all day every day, but no SOG.”
Nine minutes.
“Shane…”
“Paul…”
He was silent for two full minutes.
Seven minutes.
“Why are you pushing this?” she questioned.
“Because I know you, Shane. You have the potential to go places I never imagined. I always thought you’d be the one going up the chain, taking all of the titles. Hell, we both know you should be behind this desk. But, it turned out the other way around. Apparently, I kiss ass pretty good and you…you’re way better at taking names, my friend. I just want to see you do everything you can in the Marshal Service.”
“It’s off the table. Put me in Nashville, and you have a deal.”
“Will you consider volunteering at a later date?”
“Nope.”
He sighed. “Alright.”
Shane watched him type on the computer for a second.
“The Supervisory Deputy for Nashville is Lawrence Burgess. As far as he knows, you’ve been out of WITSEC and working MCFP this entire time on a high-profile case. He won’t ask questions. It’s above his pay grade.”
“How did you manage that?”
“I snuck in some stipulations of my own when I agreed to bring you back in. I wanted to make sure you were protected.”
Shane nodded.
“Shit,” he said, checking his watch. “I have to go. I’ll be in touch with your transfer details.”
Shane shook his hand and returned his hug. The word Nashville bounced around in her head for a minute. She knew going in that she was going back to Tennessee or nothing at all, but at the last second, her mind had switched from Memphis to Nashville. What the hell are you doing? “Pouring salt on an open wound,” she muttered under her breath as she walked out of his office.
Chapter 40
“I forgot how stressful this was,” Haley said, flopping down on the couch in her bus with a light beer in her hand. Rich was across from her, scrolling through emails on his phone.
“Since when do you drink beer?” he said, ignoring her comment.
“I don’t, but that’s what the guys had on their bus, and I was thirsty” she said, grimacing at the taste of the beer when she took a sip. “I don’t know how anyone drinks this nasty shit,” she added, getting up to find something else.
“The detectives in Nashville finally closed the case,” he mumbled.
“What? How do you know that? I thought it was closed.”
“I just got an email from Shane. Detective Kenny contacted her with the final details.”
The bottle slipped from Haley’s hand, smashing against the bottom of the empty trash can. Startled, Rich dropped his phone.
“You kept in contact with her?” she said, just above a whisper.
“Yeah. You didn’t?”
Haley bit down on her lower lip and closed her eyes. It had been two weeks since she’d left. Haley’s thoughts took her right back to that last night, and subsequently, the note left behind the next morning. She shook her head and sighed. She’d finally read it once she was back on the road. Then, she opened the window and let it fly free. Why bother keeping it when she had it memorized?
“You okay?” he asked.
“I’m fine. What were these final details?”
“Nothing.”
“It had to be something if she contacted you.”
“Just some pictures and stuff.”
Haley stared like a bull about to run him down.
He sighed. “They found pictures of you with crosses drawn over them and the word abomination.”
“That’s it?” She shook her head. “You had me thinking he’d done some twisted sadistic shit.”
“Shane said there may have been more, but the detectives weren’t fully disclosing everything to her.”
“It’s over. He’s dead. I’ve moved on and I suggest you do too. Now, I have work to do if the label wants me back in the studio when the tour ends.”
Rich didn’t need to be told to get off her bus. The tone of her voice was warning enough. She obviously wanted to be alone, and he had a flight to catch anyway. Without so much as a goodbye, he got up and left. He knew her well, which was why he saw right through the façade she was fronting on and off the stage. She was good for you. I knew it from the start. And you haven’t moved on, he thought, shaking his head at the stubborn singer.
***
Haley strummed her acoustic guitar while waiting for the words to come to her, but they never did. Ever since the mention of Shane’s name, she seemed to be in a fog. It was almost as if she were back on the bus, breaking her concentration with her mere presence.
“She’s gone, damn it!” she yelled at herself and slammed the guitar in the stand. It was three a.m., and the bus was slowly lulling side to side as it trudged down the highway. She should’ve been asleep, but that wasn’t much better. How many times could she relive one night in her dreams? It had been over a week since Rich had mentioned her.
After staring out the window at the darkness passing by for what seemed like several minutes, she grabbed her Les Paul from the stand. She was reluctant to take it when she headed back out on the road. She’d nearly lost it in the bus fire, but somehow it had been put on the crew bus instead of hers that night after the show. She plugged it into the small amp she kept on the bus and played around with a few licks before settling into Janis Joplin’s Piece of my Heart, which she sang and played like she was on stage in front of thousands. When really, she was playing to an empty bus. Her driver was the only audience she had, and even then, he was in the driver’s compartment and not her living quarters.
Chapter 41
“Are you settling in okay?” Dennis asked.
“Yeah,” she replied, looking around the room at her small, one-bedroom apartment. It was similar to the condo she’d had in Memphis, and had come fully furnished. The only thing she was missing was the muddy river and odd smell that had come with it.
“Did they hit you with a full case load?”
“Something like that,” she muttered. “Same shit, different town. I’m pretty sure nothing has changed in the last year, except my location.” She thought about her small cubicle on the third floor of the federal building. It was the same, stuffy gray space she’d worked out of in Phoenix. “At least, I’m not working protective duty. That was part of my deal coming back in,” she added.
“I kind of figured you’d had your fill of that with Haley Nielsen,” he laughed.
“Yeah, no kidding.”
“Have you seen her?” he asked cautiously.
“No.”
“I saw that she’s back on tour. I think it’s wrapping up soon...in Nashville, actually.”
“Tonight,” she said, sitting on the couch and kicking her feet up on the coffee table next to two thick manila folders.
“You going?”
“I don’t know.”
She’d thought about it a hundred times. Truthfully, she wasn’t even sure Haley would want to see her, and she’d had no idea what to say to her.
“I think you should.”
“Why is that?”
“There’s only one reason you’re in Nashville, and it’s not because the US Marshal Service posted you there,” Dennis stated.
She knew he was right, and she couldn’t be mad at him for seeing through her. She’d been pretty transparent lately, especially when she’d gone in person to resign from his
firm and pack up the little bit of things she owned at the condo. He’d told her he expected her to go back to being a deputy marshal, that was where she belonged.
“Maybe I’m here because I like the music,” she muttered.
“You hate country music.”
Shane laughed.
“Go to the show. You’ll regret it if you don’t,” he said, hanging up.
Shane set her phone down and picked up the folders containing the files on two of her cases. She’d been back on the job as a deputy marshal for a little over a week and needed to get caught up on her case load, which was why she’d brought work home. That, and she’d needed a distraction for the weekend.
“Damn it,” she spat, slapping the folder closed after scanning the first two pages. This is crazy, she thought as she got up and snatched her keys off the kitchen counter.
Chapter 42
“Are you ready for this?” Rich asked, leaning against the kitchen counter inside Haley’s bus.
“Are you kidding me?” she laughed. “I’ve been ready for this tour to be over for months. It’s literally been Hell.”
“I agree.”
“I think I’m ready to be myself, Rich. I’ve lived in the spotlight for years, but kept my life in the shadows.”
“I had a feeling this was coming, especially with the last three or four tour stops. You’ve pretty much said fuck you to the label,” he chuckled.
“I honestly don’t care. If they drop me…they drop me.”
“I wanted to wait until all of this was over, but…I guess now is as good a time as any.”
“Don’t you quit on me. I’ll skin you alive,” she deadpanned.
“With as many times as you’ve fired me and I’ve stayed anyway, I’m pretty sure that’s never going to happen. Your label didn’t want Rebellious to even get made. They were against it from the start, as was a lot of radio and media, until it blew everyone out of the water. I think this is the perfect time for a buyout of your contract. Things are messy where you’re concerned, and they don’t like messy. Besides, once you…you know, be real…it’s going to get even messier.”
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