Megabat signaled Birdgirl by tilting a shiny foil pie plate they’d found in the recycling bin. The squirrels were in the perfect position.
Megabat grabbed the string they’d threaded out the shed window, stretched across the yard and tied to the old birdhouse. Meanwhile, Birdgirl pushed the birdhouse. It took everything they had, but finally, between Megabat’s pulling and Birdgirl’s pushing, the birdhouse came loose, plummeting to the ground below and landing—with amazing precision—on the old horn from Daniel’s bike that they’d found in the shed and buried in the snow.
HOOOOOOONK!
The sudden blast pierced the morning air and the squirrels leapt three feet, spun around and dashed up the fence as if their tails were on fire.
Megabat flew out into the yard. “Haha!” he cried. “Taking that, puffer rats!”
Birdgirl came down from the tree and together they collected the seeds and brought them back to the shed for safekeeping. It would be enough to keep Birdgirl fed for several days.
Now it was time to check if anyone had written back about buying the cat. But to do that, Megabat needed to get back into the house, which meant asking Daniel to forgive him for painting the cat. Luckily, Birdgirl’s craftiness came in handy. She was busy with a new project—a sign for the door of their shed that would read HOME SWEET HOME. The H’s, E’s and M’s were made of dried grass, and the S was a piece of bent wire, but she was having trouble finding O’s. Still, Birdgirl selflessly put her own project aside and helped Megabat attach twigs to a piece of birch bark using tree sap as glue.
When it was done, Megabat flew up to Daniel’s bedroom windowsill. He knocked twice with his wingtip, then pressed the bark up against the glass. It had taken them ages to sound it all out.
“Oh, all right, Megabat.” Daniel opened the window. “You can come back in. Just promise you’ll be nice to Priscilla.”
Megabat crossed his wingtips behind his back and promised. Then he suggested going downstairs to work on the puzzle Daniel had gotten for Christmas. That way they’d be near the computer if it dinged with messages.
When they got to the living room, the friends examined the box and made a plan. The picture was of a park with a playground, a duck pond and a lady on a bench feeding pigeons. Daniel decided to work on the edges, while Megabat picked out the red bits that would make the playground’s twirly slide. He’d barely finished his pile, though, when they were rudely interrupted.
“Priscilla!” Daniel laughed. The cat, who had finally stopped hiding, had jumped onto the coffee table. She was knocking around puzzle pieces with her paw.
“Stopping that!” Megabat said as the cat’s fluffy tail swept some of his red pieces onto the floor.
“I think she’s trying to help.” Daniel smiled.
“Huh. Much unhelpful helping,” Megabat muttered, picking up his pieces.
“No, really!” Daniel laughed. “She found some matches. These three pieces make a pigeon!”
Megabat grumbled that they weren’t working on the pigeon part yet.
“Miew!” Priscilla said sadly. She nudged the joined-up pieces toward Megabat with her paw and gave him an imploring look.
Was she trying to make a big deal over the fact that she’d found a match before him? He thought about telling her to stop showing off, but then he remembered he’d fake-promised Daniel he’d be nice to her.
“Hmm. Pigeons,” he acknowledged gruffly. He pushed the pieces aside with his wingtip. “Mine will be working on thems next.” Although, secretly, he probably wouldn’t. He might even leave the pigeons till very last.
As they continued to work on the puzzle, Megabat kept a keen eye on the computer in the corner…but it didn’t ding with a new message. Not once! Then, just as Daniel was fitting together the last edge piece to make the puzzle’s frame, the doorbell rang.
Megabat’s heart leapt. Perhaps it was someone coming to buy the no-good cat…but no. It was just Mrs. Cormier from three houses down. Had she come to take the cat back? Megabat waited, hoping…
The old lady was standing on the hallway mat, stomping snow off her boots. Even from inside Daniel’s pocket, Megabat could smell her perfume: like dead flowers coated in dust. It must have been tickling Daniel’s nose too, because, right away, he sneezed.
“I hope I’m not disturbing you,” Mrs. Cormier said. “But I can’t stop wondering how Priscilla’s getting on.”
“Not at all!” Daniel’s mother said. “Why don’t you come in and have some tea and a visit?”
Mrs. Cormier took off her coat and walked into the living room. She smiled when she caught sight of Priscilla. “There’s my princess,” she said.
The old lady brushed some nearly invisible lint off the sofa, then sat primly on the edge and patted her lap. Priscilla didn’t hop up, so Mrs. Cormier reached down, grasped the cat roughly around the middle and pulled her onto her nylon-covered knee. “There’s my precious angel buttercup.” She kissed the cat with loud, smoochy lips. Priscilla wriggled and tried to jump down, but Mrs. Cormier’s claw-like hand held her in place. The old lady stroked the cat’s side and the corners of her mouth pulled down into a frown.
“Have you been brushing her?” she asked.
“Sometimes,” Daniel answered. Suddenly, he sneezed so hard that Megabat, who was hiding inside Daniel’s pocket, had to grab on to the buttonhole to keep from falling out.
“Bless you,” Mrs. Cormier said, but she didn’t sound like she meant it. “Sometimes won’t do,” she went on. “Look at this.” Mrs. Cormier pointed to a spot on Priscilla’s back. “The fur’s getting matted. She needs brushing. At least twice a day.” Mrs. Cormier pulled at the knot in Priscilla’s fur with her fingers. The cat flattened her ears and scowled.
Daniel’s mother came in with a cup of tea for Mrs. Cormier, but the neighbor only took one sip before pronouncing it “lukewarm and much too strong.” She set it down on the side table near the Christmas tree.
Ahhhh-choo!
Now it was Mrs. Cormier’s turn to sneeze. “All right, Priscilla,” she said to the cat, who was still wriggling on her lap. “You’re getting me all furry. Off you go.” She plopped the bewildered-looking cat onto the carpet.
Priscilla immediately dashed under the big armchair—and this time, Megabat didn’t blame her for hiding. He’d hide too if Mrs. Cormier wanted to smooch him and pull his fur.
Mrs. Cormier picked the cat hairs off her skirt one by one and dropped them to the floor. And as she picked and dropped, she complained to Daniel’s mother about uninteresting things—dry nasal passages, the cost of something called hydro, and how there were too many different types of yogurt these days.
Megabat was about to nod off to sleep when there was a loud rustling noise underneath the armchair. Mrs. Cormier got up to investigate.
“What on earth has Priscilla got there?” She bent over stiffly to look.
“It’s probably just that foil ball she found the other day,” Daniel’s mother explained.
“Well, take it from her, would you?” Mrs. Cormier sounded impatient. “It looks like a piece of trash!”
Daniel’s mother sighed a little, but she got down on her hands and knees to retrieve it. Megabat peered out of the buttonhole of Daniel’s shirt. He gasped! It wasn’t a piece of trash! It was the head of Daniel’s R2-D2. The special present he’d made Daniel for Christmas!
“She really seems to like it,” Daniel’s mother said, holding up the head.
Megabat didn’t care if she liked it!
“Well, surely you have more appropriate toys for her,” Mrs. Cormier said. Megabat couldn’t have agreed more!
For a second, he almost liked the cranky old lady, but then she did the unthinkable! Mrs. Cormier took R2-D2’s head from Daniel’s mother and plopped it into her still-full teacup. “Be a dear and throw that out when you dump the tea,” she said to Daniel’s mom.
Through the buttonhole, Megabat could see the special present bobbing on the surface. He had to get it back!
Without stopping to think, he launched himself out of Daniel’s pocket toward the teacup, landing inside with a thunk and a splash. For a second, he sank to the bottom, but then he came up sputtering and grabbed onto the floating foil ball like it was a life preserver.
“Huh?” Daniel said, and the adults turned to look.
“Did one of your Christmas ornaments just fall into my tea?” Mrs. Cormier asked. She reached toward the cup to check, but luckily, Priscilla chose that moment to show off.
“Miew!” The cat hopped up onto the coffee table. “Miew!” She paraded back and forth through the puzzle pieces, swishing her tail grandly so no one would miss its fluffiness.
Mrs. Cormier sneezed. “Oh, you silly thing! Do get down off the furniture.”
But when she picked Priscilla up to drop her on the floor again, the old lady let out her biggest sneeze yet.
“There go my allergies,” she said. “I need to leave.” She started to fuss with her handbag.
Meanwhile, Daniel picked up the teacup before anyone else could get to it. “Shhhh!” he said to Megabat.
Suddenly, Daniel sneezed too. The cup rocked in his hands and Megabat had to wrap his wing over the side to avoid being washed out in a wave of tea.
“I hope you aren’t allergic to cats too, young man,” Mrs. Cormier said. Then she headed for the door with promises to stop by later with a proper catnip toy for Priscilla.
While Daniel’s mother said good-bye, Daniel headed straight to the kitchen to rescue Megabat. “That was way too close,” he said as he dried Megabat off on the bottom of his T-shirt. “Mom and Mrs. Cormier almost saw you!”
Daniel tucked the bat back into his pocket along with the foil ball just as his mother came into the kitchen with a weary sigh.
“Priscilla’s lucky Mrs. Cormier’s allergic,” Daniel said. He dumped the tea and handed her the cup to put into the dishwasher. “Who’d want to live with a mean old lady like her?”
“Daniel,” his mother scolded, but she didn’t disagree.
“She smells like the air fresheners they use in gas station bathrooms,” Daniel went on, wrinkling his nose.
At that, Daniel’s mother gave him her do not be rude young man look.
“Well, it’s true!” he said. “Her perfume kept making me sneeze.” Instead of scolding him again, this time Daniel’s mother doled out a real punishment. “Get your coat,” she said. “We’re going to buy Christmas sweaters for next year’s family photo.”
“But why?! Christmas is more than three hundred and sixty days away.”
Daniel’s mother pointed out that the sweaters would be on sale for exactly that reason. Then she went to get the car keys and Daniel’s dad.
“Can you please, for once, keep out of trouble while I’m gone?” Daniel told Megabat before he left. “Just sit quietly and see how much puzzle you can get done, okay?”
Megabat promised he would be a very good bat, but, truthfully, he had no intention of working on the puzzle. He’d just come up with an even sneakier (and stinkier) plan to get rid of that no-good, always-hiding, pigeon-hunting, present-stealing cat, and this was the perfect chance to put it into action.
STINK POTION
As soon as Daniel and his parents left, Megabat got to work. He began in the kitchen, letting his nose lead the way.
“Perfects! So whiffy!” he said after he’d sniffed his way through the spices in the twirly rack and selected the smelliest ones. Next, he found a brown liquid with the aroma of fresh-baked cookies, some green soap that smelled like crisp, juicy apples and a pineconey cleaner from under the sink.
He mixed these together, then added something called Moroccan mint extract. “For an exotic dash of je ne sais pas,” he said grandly to himself.
Meanwhile, Priscilla sat in front of the glass doors that led from the kitchen to the backyard. She kept miewing and pawing at the glass, no doubt trying to distract him.
“Shush!” Megabat said as he worked the lid off a jar of pickles and poured the sweet-smelling liquid into his concoction. He had no time to waste. If he could cover Priscilla with stink potion before the family returned, Daniel was sure to start sneezing. The family would assume it was the trubble cat he was allergic to and, just like Mrs. Cormier had done, they’d give her to another unfortunate family.
Priscilla was pacing back and forth now, glaring over her shoulder at Megabat with each miew.
Megabat groaned. How was he supposed to concentrate with so much noise?
“Shushing up!” he said, but that only seemed to make her more determined. “What’s yours so miewly about?” He flapped over to see. “Oh, peeze!” he said. The cat was watching the squirrels in the yard. “Those are just being the puffer rats.” There was the fat gray one and the scraggle-tailed black one. Megabat noted with satisfaction that they weren’t going anywhere near the seed place anymore. No doubt they’d been too frightened by the honking machine. Instead, they were on the opposite side of the yard.
“Theys is digging holes,” he explained impatiently. “All theys ever does is digging holes. At least, when theirs isn’t stealing all the birdseeds.” But his explanation didn’t do anything to soothe the cat. Instead, she seemed to get even more out of sorts. The fur on her back stood up.
Megabat ignored her and got back to work.
“Hmmmm…” he said, inhaling deeply as he stirred in each new ingredient. Something green and gloopy from a jar. A mysterious black powder. A most delightful dash of colorful cake sprinkles. The sun was just beginning to go down outside when he decided his concoction was nearly complete. He sniffed. It just needed a final ingredient. “Hmm, hmm, hmm,” he sang to himself. He opened the upper cabinet.
“Aha!” His eyes landed on a big bottle of clearish yellow liquid. He sounded out the words on the label: “Fish say-u-see.” He sniffed it and gagged. Megabat worked the cap off, then scooted around behind the bottle and pushed it hard. It tipped and the liquid glug-glugged out, splashing into the bowl and all over the counter and on parts of the floor.
When the bottle was empty, he flew down to the counter to stir again. Then he plucked a ladle from a jar on the counter with his talons, hovered above the bowl and scooped up a generous portion of goo.
“Coming here, kitty,” he said. The cat was still transfixed by the puffer rats, which gave him the perfect opportunity. Megabat swooped crazily across the kitchen with his ladle and dumped the sticky potion onto her back.
When she leapt up and spun around, trying to see what it was, he took the opportunity to go back for a second spoonful. But by the time he reached her, the cat was hissing and backing into a corner with her ears flattened. For a second, Megabat thought he had her trapped, but then the cat darted around him and ran out of the kitchen.
“Oh no. Yours isn’t getting away so easy-peasy!” Megabat flew after her through the dining room, through the living room and into the front hall.
He would have caught up with her too, if it hadn’t been for the fact that flying with the heavy ladle made him clumsy. Plus, at just that moment, there was a jingling of keys in the front door.
“We’re home!” Daniel announced. His dad opened the door—but before the family could step inside, the cat flew past them and straight down the icy porch steps.
“Priscilla!” Daniel’s mother dropped her shopping bag full of Christmas sweaters and tried to grab the cat—but it was too late. The last thing Megabat saw before he hid behind a houseplant was the tip of a fluffy chocolate-brown tail disappearing out of sight.
LOST CAT
Megabat could hardly believe how easy it had been! Why hadn’t he thought of chasing the cat out through the open door sooner? It would have saved a lot of trouble—not to mention mess.
While Daniel’s parents went to look for Priscilla, Daniel stayed behind with Megabat.
Daniel sniffed as he walked into the kitchen. “Ugh!” He picked up the bowl of stink potion and made a face. “Didn’t I tell you to stay out of trouble? What were you doi
ng in here?”
“Ummm…” Megabat stalled.
“Making yours a most odorous snack.”
Daniel dropped the empty bottle of fish sauce into the trash. “It’s odorous, all right. And it’s all over the place. Help me clean this up.”
Daniel tossed Megabat a soaped-up sponge. The bat slid back and forth across the countertop on it, as if it were a skateboard. But Daniel wasn’t having any fun. He kept walking over to stare out the back door.
“They should have found her by now,” he said with a sigh. “I mean, how far could she have gone?”
But many more minutes passed. The kitchen mess had long since been cleaned and darkness had fallen when the front door finally opened. Daniel put Megabat in his pocket and ran to find out what had happened. There was an icy blast of air as Daniel’s parents closed the front door and kicked off their boots. Megabat peered out the buttonhole. They were not carrying a cat.
“Sorry, bud,” Daniel’s father said. “We searched the whole neighborhood.”
“She’s probably holed up somewhere warm…under someone’s back deck, maybe,” his mother added, rubbing her hands together to warm them. “I’m sure she’ll be back first thing in the morning.”
After that, Daniel’s father made noodles and Daniel’s mother set the table. There was even fruit cobbler for dessert, but Megabat was the only one who seemed to enjoy it.
The wind howled around the shed all night. The next morning Megabat, who’d been huddled under Birdgirl’s wing for warmth, was awoken by the sound of footsteps crunching through ice. He flew over to the little shed window and scraped at a patch of frost. Birdgirl joined him and they both peered out.
There was Daniel, pacing back and forth. His breath was making little clouds in the air. He was clutching a bag of cat treats in his mittens.
Megabat and Fancy Cat Page 3