“That was good of you to look after him like that,” I said.
“Dough Boy took care of me, so I took care of him,” Omar said.
Ropes jumped in before Omar could say anything else. “And now Omar and the Burning Saints are business partners in the entire complex.”
“Which is very good thing, because my idiot brother Asim left out the part about selling coffee and donuts in America where you go fucking broke.” Omar’s laugh broke the heaviness in the room.
“But, you’re an artist, Omar,” Ropes said.
“And now, thanks to you and the club, I can make art, and not starve to death,” Omar said stepping back, palms up. “Please, while they are fresh,”
I took a bite of my donut and couldn’t stop an orgasmic moan. “Oh my god, it’s still so warm,” I breathed out.
Ropes grinned. “Like nothing you’ve ever had before, right?”
“It melted in my mouth.”
“I’m jealous,” he said with a wink.
“Coffee,” Omar exclaimed suddenly. “I must make coffee.”
Before we could protest, he disappeared into the kitchen once more.
“I’ll never get to sleep if I have one sip of coffee,” I said, noticing an uneaten glazed twist sitting in front of Ropes. “Aren’t you going to eat yours?” I asked.
“Maybe later,” he said softly.
“But you’ll miss all the warm gooey freshness,” I replied.
“I’m not missing any of that,” he said while looking into my eyes in a way that no man has ever done before. My stomach dropped, and my field of vision narrowed, the first two indications that I’m about to have a panic attack. My hand reflexively reached for Ropes. This was not normal behavior on my part. Typically, the last thing I’d want at a time like this would be physical contact with anyone, let alone a guy I was trying to break up with… if that was, in fact, what I was trying to do.
A look of concern washed over Ropes’s face. “Baby are you okay?”
Baby? Are you fucking kidding me?
A medium sized wave of terror hit me, and I felt my hands go cold and clammy. Obviously, Ropes did too, because he slid to my side of the booth and put his arms around me, pulling me in tight. My instincts told me to push him away and scream, ‘Leave me the fuck alone,’ but my heart did not agree with this plan, so I remained frozen. Once again, unable to fight or flee. But, was I truly unable to run from this man? Was I truly frozen, or did I simply feel better when I was in Ropes’s arms?
I burst into tears. “Please don’t leave me.”
“Leave you?” He chuckled. “If I recall, you’re the one trying to give me the brush off and this was just supposed to be about donuts.”
I looked up at him and his eyes met mine. “What if I want it to be more than just donuts?”
“I’ll ask Omar if he has sprinkles.”
I smacked Ropes’s chest and another wave of emotion hit me. It was only then I realized that I was not having an anxiety attack, but that I was falling in love.
Ropes looked deeply into my puffy eyes. “Devlin, I’m not going anywhere. I think I’ve made myself very clear about how I feel about you, and I think you have the same feelings for me too, but are afraid to admit it, which is totally okay. So, when you want to be with me, I’ll be here, and if you need me to back off, I can do that as well.”
“I don’t want you to back off,” I admitted.
“Good, because I don’t want to. I want to be ‘all in’ with you.”
“But why? You barely know me.”
Ropes pulled back to look directly at me. “Baby, I’ve known you since the second I first saw you. The day you walked into Sally Anne’s my entire life changed. You not only inspired a new story in my head, but you put deep hooks into my heart. I don’t know how, but you did. All I’m asking for, is a chance to get to know each other, the real you and me. I don’t want to play games and bullshit around with you Devlin. I’m not interested in ‘dating’ you, I just want to be with you. Simple as that.”
“Oh, sure. Real simple,” I replied, shoving the last bite of my second donut in my mouth.
“Why can’t it be? We’re two young, single people, living in Portland, trying to find a way to make a living with our art.”
I choked on the oversized bite. “I think you forgot a few details.”
“Not any important ones,” he replied, much to my surprise.
“Your club isn’t important?”
“Not as it pertains to us.”
“I find that hard—” I shook my head. “No, impossible to believe.”
“My ability to prioritize and compartmentalize may surprise you.”
I was intrigued. “Oh?” I asked casually as I eyed another sugary ring of sin.
Just then, Omar returned with a carafe and a large pink box tied up with twine.
“Coffee for you and donuts for the club.”
“Thank you so much, Omar,” Ropes said as he rose to his feet. “Would it be possible to get those coffees to go?”
“Of course, my friend, I’ll get cups for you. But no straws, the hipsters will throw rocks at my store if I give you straws,” Omar said and left us with the box.
Ropes smiled wide and extended his hand. “Come on, there’s one more place I want to show you.”
“Isn’t there some sort of rule about never going to a third location?” I teased as I stood.
“I think that only pertains to places that serve alcohol. As you can see, my weakness is baked goods.”
“You’d never know it by your abs,” I said, my hand going to his body as I leaned in for a kiss.
“Thank you,” Ropes said, reaching for his donut and quickly devouring half of it in a single bite.
I laughed. “What was that all about?”
“I wanted this donut to be the second sweetest thing on my lips tonight.”
The line was corny, sappy, and normally something I’d throat punch a guy for saying. At that moment, however, all I wanted to do was to marry Ropes, move to a cabin in the woods, and bear him twelve children.
Ropes
WE SAID OUR goodbyes to Omar and walked out to Devlin’s VW Thing.
“Let’s put the coffee and donuts in your car, and you can ride with me, it’s not very far.”
“What? On that?” Devlin said, pointing to my bike.
“Sure,” I laughed. “What else?”
“Oh, I don’t know? How about a car, or bus, or a freaking pogo stick? Anything but one of those rolling coffins.”
“I can see you have strong feelings about motorcycles.”
“I’ll be more than happy to follow you,” she said taking the coffee and donuts from my hands.
I smiled. “We can ride another time then.”
“Yes, when the Browns win the Superbowl,” she said and climbed into her car.
I fired up my bike and Devlin followed me the two short miles to our destination, a newly built, high-end apartment complex. I directed Devlin to a side street and had her park next to me in a loading zone.
“Are you sure we’re okay here?”
“It’s alright.” I assured her. “We won’t be long.”
Devlin got out of the car and joined me as I stood in front of the massive structure.
“What are we looking at?” she asked, shivering from the cold.
I put my arm around her and pulled her in tight. “This is where I lived when I first came to Portland.”
“Nice place. Looks a little new, though,” she said, surprised.
“No, this building wasn’t here then, and if it was, I wouldn’t have been able to afford the rent in the janitor’s closet. I lived in the empty field that was here before all of this.” I motioned to the surroundings, which were rich with signs of recent development.
“Why were you living in a field? I thought you had money?”
“My family has money, but I don’t want anything to do with my family, so I came here, alone, with nothing.”
“Why did you run away?”
“Lots of reasons, but the final straw was when my little brother was abused, and my father refused to do anything about it.”
“Why?”
“Because, the man who abused my brother was our uncle, my father’s brother.”
“Your dad didn’t do anything?” she asked. “What about your mother? Didn’t someone report your uncle to the police?”
“Devlin, I’m going to tell you something that only a few people know.” I turned to face her. “My real name is Spencer Kimble.”
Devlin stared at me, her eyes narrowing in concentration, before she shook her head as if to say “sorry, not ringing any bells.”
“Kimble… as in Kimble and Hill,” I further clarified, and a look of shock came over her face.
“Are you kidding me? Kimble and Hill is one of the biggest corporations in the country, and you’re telling me that you’re related to them?”
“Not just related. My great grandfather was Albert Kimble, co-founder of the company, and my grandfather made the company what it is today.”
“You said your family had money, not your family was made of money itself.”
“You can see why I don’t normally share this information with people.”
Devlin nodded.
“I went to private schools growing up. I had nannies, tutors, and every indulgence I could want. Groomed my entire life to be the next in line to run the company.”
“And you left all of that behind?” she asked.
“My uncle raped my little brother and no one in my family did a single thing to help him. They all just wanted everything to be quietly swept under the rug. Nothing that could sully the family name or affect the bottom line would be permitted. My father knew that a scandal like that would rock the boardroom, and that the company stock would tumble.”
“So, you just took off for Portland, all by yourself?”
“Not exactly.” I paused, deciding exactly how much I should tell Devlin about this part of the story. I wanted to be completely open and honest with her about who I was, but I didn’t want to burden her with details that might be upsetting or compromise her. On the other hand, my life wasn’t always pretty. In fact, it was usually pretty fucking messy. If Devlin wanted to be a part of it, she’d need to know the score, so I decided to give her the unredacted version of the events.
“If I tell you all about my past, there’s no going back for me,” I said.
Her brow furrowed as she asked, “What do you mean?”
“I’m telling you every secret I have, Devlin. Shit that could cost me my freedom, or even my life. I’m not just giving you information about who I am, I’m putting my entire heart in your hands. Outside of my brother, I’ve never trusted anyone with what I’m about to tell you.”
Devlin pulled me in for a long kiss and it took every ounce of my composure not to fuck her up against the building.
“I don’t know what to say,” she whispered, breaking the kiss.
“It’s okay, just listen,” I said, taking a deep breath. “When my brother told me what my uncle had done to him, I flipped out. I went straight to my dad who assured me that he would handle it, which of course he did by telling my brother to keep his mouth shut. Our mother died when I was seven and my brother, Charlie, was three years old. I only have a handful of memories of my mother, but he doesn’t have any. Only a box of photos. My father and uncle were the only family we had, and now my brother had been betrayed by both. There was no way in hell I was going to let this stand, so a few days later I snuck into my father’s office, logged into his computer and sent an email to everyone in his address book that contained sensitive information regarding a secret corporate merger he’d been working on for six months. The leak cost him millions.”
She frowned. “Did he find out that you were the one who’d done it?”
“Not until I told him.”
“You admitted to it?” she asked, surprised.
“The very next morning I came down stairs to find my father in a panic. He was in his home office, screaming to his assistant on the phone. He’d obviously figured out that he’d been hacked, and the shit was hitting the fan. I came in to let him know that I had a present for him. It wasn’t his birthday, so he was understandably confused, but I convinced him to take a few minutes to indulge me.”
Devlin’s eye widened. “What did you have for him?”
“You know, some people like to hear a story and not just jump to the end.”
“So, I’ve been told,” she said, giving me the universal hurry it up hand signal.
“I handed my father a small tin box with a bow on it. It was one of those breath mint tins, but that’s not what was inside.”
“What was inside?”
“Eight of my uncle’s teeth,” I replied.
Devlin gasped, but said nothing.
“Do you want me to go on?” I asked.
She nodded.
“After I’d hacked my father’s email, I paid a visit to my uncle’s estate. He was surprised to see me but opened the gate when I showed up. He had no reason not to. He didn’t know that my brother had said anything to me about the abuse, or what I had planned for him. I told him I was there so late because I’d had a fight with my dad and was hoping I could talk to him about it. My uncle lived alone, so I knew we’d have privacy. He invited me in and asked if I wanted anything to drink. I asked him for a coke and the moment he returned from the kitchen, I confronted him about Charlie’s accusations. You know what the really fucked up thing was?”
“What?”
“He didn’t deny it. Didn’t even try to explain it away. Nothing. He just said that it was consensual, that Charlie wanted it as much as he did. He said that Charlie needed to acknowledge that fact. I started to rage inside but didn’t completely lose it until he laughed.”
Devlin blinked back tears.
“Like a fucking maniac, the man laughed at the trauma he’d just caused my brother, so I hit him over the head with a ten-inch length of pipe I had hidden in my coat. He dropped to the floor and I was right on top of him. With every blow I let him know exactly why I was there, to deliver justice for my brother. When I was done with him, he was barely breathing, barely human. I saw a bunch of his teeth laying in a pool of blood and collected them carefully one-by-one.”
“Why?”
“I took the tin full of teeth when I left my father’s office and I mailed them to my uncle every year on the anniversary of that day
“What for?”
“To remind him that I’d be watching. To remind that sick fucker to be on his best behavior. Not that he had much of a choice. The beating left him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life, unable to walk, speak properly, or ever get it up again. I took from him what he took from my brother, the ability to live a normal life ever again.”
Devlin blinked back tears. “But you gave up your life, too.”
“That’s true, and I’d do it all again for my brother. I left that night and haven’t spoken to my father since. He paid off the papers to say that my uncle had been in a terrible car accident.”
“What about your brother?”
“I couldn’t take Charlie with me. Not until I was set up somewhere. I didn’t have any money or a place to stay. He was only twelve and even greener than I was. It was tough enough for me out here on the streets, he wouldn’t have lasted the first week. It would take a few years for me to get him out here.”
“And your uncle?”
“He killed himself after tooth number six showed up. I was never able to mail him the last two. I still keep them as a reminder, and I’ve been in the habit of reminding bad people to be good via this method ever since.” I pulled out an empty envelop and handed it to Devlin.
She glanced at the top of it. “Is this addressed to the same Troy who tried to attack me?”
“That’s right,” I said and removed Troy’s teeth from my kutte pocket and took the envelope from Devlin
. “He’s never going to hurt you again. I promise that,” I said, sliding the teeth into the envelope before sealing it. “I’ve always mailed these special packages from this particular mailbox, the one closest to this spot.” I pulled the handle on the blue mailbox and dropped the envelope inside.
* * *
Devlin
Normal people would probably turn tail and run far away from a man so violent. Normal people would also not excuse the behavior of that man, regardless of the reasons.
But I was no longer normal. Hadn’t been for a long, long time. And I was still trying to heal.
Gentle fingers on my cheek had me focusing back on Ropes as he lifted my chin. “I need to know what you’re thinking, baby.”
I licked my lips. “I was just thinking that my fucked-up life kind of matches your fucked-up life to a T.”
“Yeah?”
I nodded. “I was twenty-two, just out of art school, ready to start taking on the world when I met Tripp.”
“Tripp is a douche name.”
“Tripp was a douche,” I confirmed. “But I fell hard. He was very pretty, had a lot of money, and made me feel special. I’d never had that before. I was always the gangly, freckled redhead most kids made fun of, but he told me how beautiful I was and made me feel like I actually was.”
“You are.”
I shook my head. “You have to stop interrupting me, or I’ll never get through this.”
He pulled me against him and stroked my back. “Sorry. Continue.”
“One night, he took me to a party where his ‘friends’ were. He offered me up to one of them and I was like, hell no, and told him exactly what I thought of him. I might have been insecure, but I wasn’t about to let him pass me around. He apologized profusely, promised he’d never ask again… then handed me a drink. Like a lamb to the slaughter, I drank it.” I closed my eyes tight, trying to force down the panic I felt at telling Ropes my story.
“I’ve got you, Devlin. No one will ever hurt you again.”
“I woke up in a storage container, chained to the wall with six other girls of varying ages. My body screamed in pain, but the abject terror I felt seemed to mask it. I have no idea how long we were in the container, but we arrived at some flophouse and were thrown into different rooms and guarded night and day. I came to find out it was some meth house in Savannah, Georgia, and we joined seven other girls. There was a little girl named Molly. I think she was ten.” I burrowed into Ropes’s chest and forced back tears. “They were auctioning her off to the highest bidder. The rest of us were used by whoever was there at the time, or those men willing to come into the slums to partake. They would shoot us up with heroin to keep us willing and quiet, but I got too sick from the drugs, so they would gag me, so my screams wouldn’t be heard.”
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