by Nora Roberts
follow through. One foot in front of the other. The memorial service—the dress she wanted to wear, the music she wanted played. She had some insurance. She’d scraped money together for that every month. Christ knows how. There was enough to pay off most of the debts that had built up and give me some breathing room.”
“You were her child. She wanted to provide for you.”
“She did, in every possible way. I couldn’t stay here, Dana. Not then. I couldn’t live in that house and grieve for her every time I took a breath. I couldn’t stay in this town, where I would see people I knew everywhere I went.
“You’d think it would be a comfort, the familiar. But for me it was constant pain. One minute I’d feel like I was suffocating, the next like I was going to explode. I had to get away from it. I had to bury some of that pain the way I’d buried her.”
“You wouldn’t talk to me about it.”
“I couldn’t. If I’d had the words, I’d have choked on them. I’m not saying it was right. It wasn’t. But it’s the truth. I had to make something of myself, and I couldn’t do it here. Or I believed I couldn’t, so what’s the difference?”
“You had to go,” she murmured, “or you wouldn’t be who you are.” How could it have taken her so long to see that?
“I hated what I was here, and I was afraid of what I would become if I stayed. I saw myself working in the garage day after day, year after year, and throwing away everything she’d worked for, everything she’d wanted for me because I couldn’t do any better. I was angry and in pain, so wrapped up in both I didn’t give a damn about anything else.”
He came back to the edge of his mother’s grave, stared down at the flowers. “I didn’t know you loved me. I don’t know what I’d have done differently if I had, but I didn’t know. You always seemed so strong, so sure of yourself, so easy with the way things were, that I didn’t see inside that.”
He reached out to brush the hair back from her cheek, then dropped his hand again. “Maybe I didn’t want to. With all that happened to her, I didn’t have any room to love anyone. But I hurt you, and I meant to. Because it was easier on me if you walked away. I’m ashamed of that, and I’m sorry for it. You deserved better.”
“I don’t know what to say to you. It helps, hearing all this. I know it wasn’t easy to tell me.”
“Don’t cry, Dana. It rips me.”
“It’s a little tough to get through otherwise.” But she swiped her fingers under her eyes. “We were young, Jordan, and we both made mistakes. We can’t change what happened, but we can put it in place and try to be friends again.”
“We’re grown up now, and we’ve got today to deal with. You want to be friends, I’ll be your friend.”
“Okay.” She managed a wobbly smile and held out a hand.
“There’s just one more thing you need to know.” He clasped her fingers firmly in his. “I’m in love with you.”
“Oh.” Her already unsteady heart stumbled. “God.”
“I never got over you. Whatever I felt for you back then, it was like the root. Time went on, I’d keep trying to kill that root, but it wouldn’t die. I’d breeze back into town to see Flynn, catch a glimpse of you, or you’d take a shot at me, and what was growing on that root would nudge a little further up from the ground.”
“Damn it, Jordan. Damn it.”
Whatever it cost him, he had to get it out. “This last time, when I knocked on Flynn’s door and you opened it, it was like that vine shot up another ten feet and wrapped around my throat. I’m in love with you, Dana. I can’t kill it off, and I wouldn’t if I could. So, I’m spilling my heart at your feet this time. It’s yours, whatever you do with it.”
“What do you think I’m going to do, you jackass?” She leaped into his arms.
Relief, joy, pleasure rushed through him like a flood as he buried his face in her hair. “That’s what I was hoping you’d say.”
THE first thing Dana heard when she walked back into Indulgence was arguing. Just one of the essential elements, in her opinion, that made a house a home. She cocked an ear toward her section of the building, and held up a hand for quiet when Jordan stepped in behind her.
“I’m not going to hurt myself. I’m perfectly capable of running an electric sander. You just don’t want anyone else to play with it.”
“In the first place, it’s not a toy.” There was such chilly exasperation in Brad’s voice that Dana had to muffle a snort. “In the second, once I’ve finished this area—which I would already have done if you didn’t keep nagging—”
“I don’t nag.” There were equal parts venom and insult in Zoe’s response.
Dana gave Jordan’s arm a tug. “You go referee the Irritable Twins,” she whispered. “I need to talk to Malory.”
“Why can’t I talk to Malory?”
“A real man wouldn’t be afraid to—”
“Oh, stop that.” He hunched his shoulders, jammed his hands in his pockets, and strode off in the direction of the spat.
Dana buffed her nails on her jacket. “Works every time.” Then she huffed out a breath, squared her own shoulders, and headed in the opposite direction to swallow her serving of crow.
The walls in what would be Malory’s main showroom were finished. And looked, Dana decided, just swell. She could hear the music from the radio jingling out from the room beyond, and Malory’s singing along with Bonnie Raitt.
She was also, Dana noted as she stepped in, grooving. As Malory swiped the roller up and down, her hips bumped to the jumpy Delta beat.
“You got that up so loud just to keep up your rhythm, or to block out the sexual tension from across the hall?”
Malory turned, set down her roller to give her arms a rest. “A little of both. How’re you doing?”
“How do I look?”
“Better.” Malory took a closer study. “In fact, you look pretty damn good.”
“I feel pretty damn good. First, I’m sorry. I was feeling miserable and I took it out on you. You were only trying to help.”
“Friends do that. Take their moods out on each other, and try to help. Both of you looked so unhappy, Dana.”
“Well, we were. We had reason to be. Whatever Kane’s motives, he showed me the truth. I couldn’t just bury what happened before, all that hurt. It had to be dealt with, taken out, looked at. Understood, at least.”
“You’re right.”
“No, you were right.” She peeled off her jacket, tossed it on the window ledge. “I wasn’t dealing with it, not by starting things up with Jordan again, or cutting them off. I just had it buried in a very shallow grave. We both did.”
“You needed time together first, to get to know each other again.”
“You’re right. You’re batting a thousand today.”
“Though I’ve never understood exactly what that means, let me see if I can keep it up. You went to see Jordan, you talked some of this out, and you reached the understanding, at last, that you’re in love with each other.”
“Sign her up. He loves me.” When Dana’s eyes filled, Malory whipped the kerchief off her head and rushed over to offer it. “Thanks. He said things to me he didn’t say before. Couldn’t say, or wouldn’t. I don’t guess it matters. He wasn’t ready, and if I’m going to be honest about it, we weren’t ready. I loved him, but that wasn’t enough to let me see what he was going through, what he needed. What I needed, for that matter. It was blinding, so all I could see was ‘I want Jordan.’ Period. I never thought about what we’d do together, or be together, what either of us needed to do separately to make it strong. It was all just right that minute.”
“You were young, and in love.” Malory took the kerchief back and dried her own eyes.
“Yeah, I was. I loved him with everything I had. But I have more now. And it’s so amazing, really, to be able to take one step back and look at the man he is, the man he’s made of himself and realize he’s more. To know it was worth the wait.”
“Dana.�
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Her damp eyes went wide on Malory’s face, then she blinked rapidly before turning to where Jordan stood in the doorway. “This is girl stuff here.”
“Dana.” He said her name again, then crossed to her. She saw the emotion swirling in his eyes, blazing in the blue before his arms banded around her. He hitched her up to her toes as his mouth swooped down to hers.
“Oh.” Undone, Malory buried her face in the kerchief.
“Okay, I’d just like to say—” Zoe stormed halfway into the room before she skidded to a halt. Staring at the couple wrapped in each other, she pressed a hand to her heart. “Oh.” She reached back to dig the bandanna out of her pocket, but Brad stepped up beside her, pushed his into her hand.
“Thanks.” She sniffled into it. “But I did have my own.”
“Shut up, Zoe.”
Because the moment was too precious to spoil, she did.
Jordan eased back. “There’s something I have to do.”
Her eyebrow winged up, and her smile was quick and wicked. “Right here? In front of all our friends?”
“Cool,” was Brad’s response, which earned him Zoe’s elbow in his belly.
“This isn’t the time for gutter thoughts.”
“It’s always the time.”
“Ignore them,” Jordan murmured and pressed his lips to Dana’s forehead.
“I am.”
“There’s something I have to do,” he said again. “So I have to renege on giving you a hand around here today.”
“But—”
“It’s important,” he interrupted. “I’ll explain it tonight.”
“We all need to get together tonight and go over what you wrote. I’m running out of time.”
“Why don’t we meet at Flynn’s? It’s the most central.” He glanced over. “Is that okay with you, Malory?”
“Sure. The kitchen’s not finished yet, so we won’t get food like we did at Brad’s. Actually, even with the kitchen finished we wouldn’t get food like we had at Brad’s.”
“Pizza and beer works for me,” Dana said.
“That’s my girl.” Jordan kissed her again. “I’ll see you there.”
“You’ve got something up your sleeve.” Dana narrowed her eyes. “I can see it. If you’re thinking about messing with Kane—”
“He’s got nothing to do with this. I’ve got to go, or I’m not going to get it all done. Brad, you’re coming with me.”
“I haven’t finished here.”
“You go. Take him,” Zoe said, pointing at Brad. “Leave the sander. All will be well here.”
“You’re not hauling that thing upstairs by yourself.”
“It’s not that heavy, and I’m not that weak.”
“You’re not carrying it up those stairs.”
“Jesus, Vane, cart the thing up and be done with it.” Grinning, Jordan slung his arm around Dana’s shoulder. “Don’t you know how to handle a woman?”
“Kiss my ass.” Brad turned on his heel and strode away.
“I can do it myself,” Zoe began.
“Zoe.” Basking in the glow of love rediscovered, Dana shook her head. “Stop being a jerk.”
“I can’t help it.” Zoe lifted her hands, let them fall. “He brings out the jerk in me.” She heard him cursing under his breath as he carried the sander toward the steps, and folded her arms over her chest. “I’m not going to say anything. I’m not going to do anything.”
“Good plan. Why don’t you grab a roller?” Malory suggested. “We can finish in here, then start upstairs.”
“Can I just say you women are doing a hell of a job with this place?”
“There, see?” Delighted, Zoe walked over and gave Jordan a loud kiss on the cheek. “Here’s a secure man who has respect for a woman’s abilities.”
“Absolutely. Nothing sexier than a self-sufficient woman.”
“Lap it up, Hawke, lap it up.” Dana nudged him aside. “Now take your playmate and run along. We’ve got work to do.”
She waited until Jordan and Brad had gone out, then dashed to the window to spy on them. “What’s he up to? Yeah, yeah, Brad’s asking him what gives right now. I can tell. But he’s not saying. He’s not saying because he knows I’m standing here watching. Damn it!”
She jerked back with a laugh as Jordan looked straight at her through the glass. “You just can’t pull one over on Jordan. God, I love that about him.”
“I’m so happy for you.” Malory sighed. “And if we’re not careful, we’re going to start another weep-o-rama.”
“Since I’ve leaked more in this one day than I have the entire past year, let’s paint.” Dana turned, gave her biceps an exaggerated flex. “He’s right, you know. We’re doing a hell of a job with this place.”
THEY worked downstairs until the walls were done, then took a coffee break, sitting on the floor to admire them.
“The floors in Dana’s section need to be damp-mopped. You need a clean surface before they’re sealed.”
“I don’t know how the sealing part goes.”
“It’s easy,” Zoe told her. “I’ll show you. Once they’re sealed, dried good and hard, you can start moving stuff in.”
“Wow!” Since Dana’s stomach jumped, she pressed a hand to it. “It gets more real every day. I ordered the shelves. If they get here when they’re supposed to, along with the other stuff I ordered—and the first shipments of books—I should be setting up in a couple of weeks. Maybe less. And I have a potential employee.”
“You didn’t say anything about that.” Zoe punched her lightly on the arm. “Who is it?”
“It’s a woman I met when I was working in the library. I ran into her at the grocery store, and one thing led to another. She’s personable, presentable, likes to read, wants a job, and isn’t looking for a big salary. She’s going to come by sometime and get a look at the place. If she doesn’t run screaming, I think I’ve got myself a bookseller.”
“Zoe, how soon do you think I can start moving stock in?” Malory asked.
“I think next week.” Zoe sipped coffee, glanced around the room. “It’s all coming together so well, I don’t want to jinx it, but I really think next week. It’s going to take me a little longer. There’s more to set up in a salon. And we still have to replace some of these windows. Plus there’s going to be a good, long list of punch-out work.”
“I love it when she talks the manly talk,” Dana commented. “Now let’s go up and play with the sander like men.”
“First,” Zoe said in a fair imitation of Brad’s most clipped tone, “it’s not a toy.”
“Jeez.” Dana laughed her way to her feet. “You slay me.”
Chapter Seventeen
“YOU sure about this?” Brad studied Jordan, and the square-cut ruby ring in his hand.
“Yeah. I think. She’d like this better than the traditional diamond.”
“I don’t mean the ring. I mean what you’re buying the ring for.”
“I’m sure. A little queasy, but sure.”
“I’m not going to take offense,” Flynn decided. “I could take offense that asking my sister to marry you makes you queasy, but I won’t.”
Jordan smiled a little as he turned the ring under the light. He’d wanted them both with him when he took this step. A kind of circle, he supposed, just as the ring was a circle. He couldn’t say either of them had been thrilled to be hauled off to Pittsburgh and into a jewelry stone, but they’d come through.
They always did.
“I think this is the one. I know she is.” He offered the ring to Brad. “You know more about this stuff than either of us. Give me an opinion of the rock.”
Behind the counter, the jeweler began to make noises.
“Yeah, yeah.” Jordan waved him off. “I know the spiel. I’d rather hear what my pal here has to say.”
“I can assure you that stone is an excellent quality. Burmese ruby at three carats, set in eighteen-karat gold. The craftsmanship of the—”
He might not have been happy, but the potential sale had him producing a jeweler’s loupe and offering it to Brad.
Playing it out, Brad hemmed, hawed, and hmmmed before setting both the ring and the loupe on the black velvet pad. “You’re buying yourself a hell of a rock,” he said. “It hits the three C’s—color, cut, clarity, and at three substantial carats, rounds it out nicely. She’ll love it.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Wrap it up,” he told the jeweler.
“We should go get a beer now, right?” Flynn glanced warily at the other rings in the glass case. “And Jordan should buy, in a symbolic gesture of . . . oh, hell with all that. I just want a beer.”
“All in good time, my pretty.” Jordan pulled out his wallet, dug out his credit card. “We’ve got another stop to make on the way back.”
THE way he looked at it, he was going to make a clean sweep. A kind of romantic hat trick. He got the girl, he’d bought the ring. Now, he thought as they pulled through the gates of Warrior’s Peak, he was going to see if he could finesse the house.
“This is wild,” Flynn said from the backseat where Moe snored beside him, exhausted by the thrill of the car trip. “I think I’m in some sort of shock.”
“Pretty wild,” Jordan agreed. “But the fact is, I always wanted this place. Even when I was a kid.”
“Okay, before you go in there and make some sort of insane offer, let’s just take one more pass through the routine.” Brad shifted. “Let me point out, once again, that this place is enormous.”
“I like big.”
“It’s isolated.”
“I like isolated.”
“You haven’t asked Dana if she wants to live up here.”
“I don’t have to. I know how she’ll feel about it.”
“It’s like talking to a brick,” Brad muttered. “Okay, if you’re set on going through with this, at least take the I’m-a-big-sucker-with-a-lot-of-money sign off your ass.”
“They’re gods, son.” Jordan parked, pushed open the door. “I don’t think a poker face is going to make much difference.”
“I don’t know why you think they’ll consider selling the place to you,” Brad continued. “They only bought it a couple of months ago. Gods or not, there are the small matters of equity, taxes, capital gains.”
“Listen to the suit.” Flynn grinned as Moe leaped over him and out of the car.
“Shut up. You’re in shock, remember? Takes a good thirty minutes to get down to the Valley from here,” Brad continued.
“The way you drive, it does,” Jordan muttered under his breath.
“I heard that. Thirty minutes,” Brad repeated, “for a mature adult who has respect for the speed limit. And that’s in good weather. Fine for you, you can stay home and write in your underwear. Dana’s going to be running a business in town, six days a week.”
“Six?” Jordan turned from studying the house. “How do you know they’re planning on being open six days?”
“I got that from Zoe in between her sniping at me. The point is, she’s going to have to travel down there most every day. And in the winter—”
“I’ll buy her a four-wheel, a goddamn Humvee. Stop fretting, Mary.”
“Just for that, I hope—if they’re in the market for a buyer—they hose you.”
Rowena opened the door and was already laughing as she bent down to greet Moe. “Welcome! How lovely. Three handsome men and a handsome dog.”
“You call that dog handsome,” Jordan commented. “It must be love.”
“And so it is.” She straightened, smiled brilliantly as she looked into Jordan’s eyes. “So it is. Come in.”