by Dante King
And just like that, I tossed the pitchfork across the battlefield.
It landed near Judyth’s back line, spearing an angel right through and pinning them to the spot like a butterfly. Just as dead, too. I heard Lilith’s scream as I pitched the weapon away, but I was sure someone would get it back to me later.
“It’s alright,” I told the Angel of Vengeance. “You’ve been sick for a long time, but now you’re well. You’re getting better all the time.” Remembering a time Maddie had sung a Beatles song in the halls of Heaven, I added in my best Paul McCartney, “Get-ting so much bet-ter all the time…”
Maybe it was my awful singing that did the trick. The Angel of Vengeance blinked, and his eyes were no longer red. Holofernes took in the battlefield, the tentacles holding him against the ground, and the demonic Archlord of Hell standing before him.
Then he sighed. And there was endless weariness in it.
“Things have gone very, very far,” the Angel of Vengeance rumbled. “Haven’t they, Luke Bell?”
“I’m afraid they have,” I told Holofernes. “But you know what they say. You never go so far that you can’t turn around and make your way back again.”
Holofernes scoffed. “They say that about my side, not yours.” But something inside of the Angel of Vengeance softened. “This is all a mistake,” he muttered.
“I couldn’t agree more.”
Holofernes’s eyes narrowed. “In my madness, I heard you speak of bringing the balance back. How would you do that, Luke Bell?”
I put my thumb against my chin in a pantomime of deep thought. “Well, I was thinking it would be pretty simple. Me in Hell, and you in Heaven. How’s that sound to you?”
Something deep inside the Angel of Vengeance rumbled.
“Your proposal is acceptable,” Holofernes said.
Finally, I allowed a triumphant smirk to cross my face. “Sounds great,” I told him. “Tell you what —why don’t we seal the deal with an official changing of the guard? You see, there’s an old friend on this battlefield I know you’d love to meet.”
Holofernes followed my finger toward the back line—where Judyth Dominia stood. The Headmistress of the Celestial Academy looked like she’d pissed herself, quaking in fear.
Holofernes snickered. “Yes. Yes, that is most acceptable.”
My tentacles let go. And the Angel of Vengeance shot like a rocket toward the woman who betrayed him.
The crowd, having already declared a makeshift ceasefire to watch Holofernes and I spar, turned their attention to the Angel of Vengeance’s… well, vengeance. Judyth lifted her sword, lightning lapping at the blade as the Headmistress realized how running would make her look in her final moments. I can say that about her, at least—Judyth Dominia died bravely.
She lasted about fifteen seconds—and that was only because Holofernes wanted to savor the moment. The Headmistress of the Celestial Academy was an administrator, not a fighter, and the Angel of Vengeance had spent literal eons watching her sporadic attempts at sparring. He disarmed her with a simple twist, then gripped her around the throat and lifted her from her feet. His sword, no longer black and shimmery, still burned with holy fire.
“It is finished,” Holofernes whispered as he pierced Judyth’s heart.
And it truly was. As the former Headmistress of the Celestial Academy slumped to the ground, dead as a stone, the assembled angels threw down their weapons. In an instant, it was like all the will to fight had been sucked right out of them. Several bowed their heads, looking ashamed to have ever been part of the battle in the first place—though I noted that none of Judyth’s personal cadre made any remorseful noises.
Holofernes noticed it, too. The Angel of Vengeance was already taking notes.
“Today is a shameful day,” Holofernes said, pitching his voice above the crowd. “The Celestial Academy will no longer aid Queen Titania in her war of conquest. We shall return home.” His eyes hardened. “Where we will swear in a new Headmaster.”
I saw dozens of angels swallow hard at that declaration. It’s gonna be fun times in the Celestial Academy for a while, I thought, shaking my head. Glad I don’t have to go back there any time soon…
Seeing the momentum of the moment, I soared into the air and amplified my own voice. “Unseelie Fae! Your reinforcements have refused to fight. Your Queen has abandoned you. Throw down your weapons and you will be spared. There’s no need for any more bloodshed today!”
The remaining elves, fairies and other Fae creatures looked at each other, then shrugged and put down their weapons. The battle was over. We’d won.
As I landed, my harem clustered around me. All except Maddie, who’d been whisked off by Godfrey to receive medical attention. I tried focusing my thoughts to see where she was and what she was doing, but all I got was a blur. She’s unconscious, I thought, but at least she’s not in any pain. Let’s hope Godfrey’s got her stable and resting comfortably.
“You did it, Luke,” Christina purred, throwing her arms around me. I could feel her nipple piercings against my robes, and knew that every aroused state I’d ever seen my girlfriend in was a mere spark compared to the fire raging through her loins at my victory. “You saved us all! You united the Realms, and stopped the Day of Judgement!”
My entire harem beamed at me, looking up at their rightful Master. Victory shone in their eyes, along with the assurance that I would be the next Lord of Hell. After a battle like this, how could I not be?
All of them—except for Eiko.
Who was white as a sheet.
“Eiko?” I asked, stepping between Raquelle and Poppy to get a better view of the Divinations instructor. For a moment I thought she’d been hurt, but no wound showed through her fine silver robes. Her mouth moved soundlessly, as if she’d seen a ghost.
“M-Master,” Eiko muttered, her eyes rolling back in her head. Fuck. She was seeing the future? Now? “Something bad is coming…”
It was the only warning we got.
A massive portal slashed through the air, cutting the battlefield in half. Soldiers who’d only moments ago laid down their arms picked them back up again as they fled, running to get away from whatever this horrible thing was. The very ground split apart beneath the portal’s magic, seared by whatever fell creation simmered on the other end.
A gray-green foot the size of an RV stepped through. Moss covered it from toe to ankle, along with the same black scrawl that had writhed beneath Holofernes’s marbled skin. The portal stretched and stretched, streaking into the sky until the horizon itself felt like a vista from another world. An arm pushed onto the battlefield, grey and smoking and covered in thick cords of muscle—another one joined it.
“Jesus Christ,” I muttered, fully aware of the hypocrisy of the oath. “What the fuck is that?”
A figure landed next to me. Holofernes.
“It is her,” the Angel of Vengeance growled, lifting his flaming sword. “The one who came to me when I was stranded in the Fae Realm. I believe you have seen her before—but this is her true form. The beautiful face she’s shown to the Realms is but a mask. This is the true monarch.”
The monster towered over the battlefield like fucking Godzilla. Her footsteps crushed Fae to paste beneath her heels with every step.
“You are in the presence of Queen Titania,” Holofernes said bitterly. “The Dark Queen of the Fae.”
Chapter 24
“You should have accepted my offer,” Queen Titania rumbled.
The Dark Queen of the Fae blocked out the sky with her bulk. I’d seen monster movies before, but none of them held a candle to this. King Kong could climb a skyscraper—but Titania was a skyscraper, taller than even the tallest buildings in my hometown. Her every move shook the ground we stood on.
I can’t believe I ever thought you were beautiful, I thought, craning my neck to stare up at the monster.
In a flash, Holofernes and Lilith stood at my side. While he wasn’t officially the Headmaster of the Celestial Acade
my just yet, the Angel of Vengeance certainly looked as if he’d already stepped into the role. From the expression Lilith wore when she looked at him, she’d already mentally conferred to him the authority of the angel’s college.
“I wish I’d had time to warn you of her,” Holofernes said. “She is a titan, Luke. One of the few creatures in this universe powerful enough to threaten the Almighty himself. Somehow she concealed it from the Celestial Realm, only revealing her true power when absolutely necessary.”
“She’s one ugly bitch,” Lilith snorted, rolling her eyes. “No sense of style whatsoever. Though I suppose when you’re her size, it’s hard to find clothes to fit you.”
Ice filled the pit of my stomach as Titania took another step. None of my girls were directly in the line of fire, thank God, but more than a few angels and Fae were unable to get away in time. Titania ground them beneath her heel, the same way she’d been doing to the Unseelie Fae for centuries.
I glanced at Holofernes, then Lilith. “Heaven and Hell united,” I muttered, shaking my head. “Lilith, you and Judyth managed to cooperate the last time we came to the Fae Realm. I know it lasted all of thirty seconds before you tried to betray each other, but still—do you think it might last a little longer this time?”
Headmaster and Headmistress shared a look. “I am willing to try and destroy the titan,” Holofernes rumbled, shooting Lilith a desultory look. “With all three of our powers combined, it may be possible to slay the beast. None others should try.”
“None?” I asked, sounding skeptical. “My harem is powerful, Holofernes—”
“Your harem is your weakness,” the Angel of Vengeance said, his flat face going flatter. “Had the two of us crossed swords on the battlefield properly, Luke Bell, I would have ignored you in favor of attacking your women. They are a surefire way to bring you to your knees.”
I thought of the way I’d risked my life to save Maddie. “I suppose you’re right,” I grunted, hating that someone who was technically my enemy had made a great point. “Everyone run!” I roared, extending my wings to their full span. “This is between us and the Queen! Angels, Demons, Fae—get off the fucking battlefield!”
They didn’t need me to tell them twice.
A mass exodus began, some people moving with dignity but most just running for their lives. Angels abandoned the battlefield, leaving the demons they’d fought with moments before to scramble in the opposite direction. My harem found itself pulled this way and that by the crowd, trying their best to stay near me. Unlike the forces on either side, my girls didn’t want to leave.
Queen Titania stared down at the battlefield, smirking like someone who’d just kicked an anthill.
“Oh no,” the Dark Queen laughed, deep in her throat. “No one’s going anywhere!”
No one listened. They were too busy running for their lives to hear Queen Titania’s chanting—but they damn sure saw as a black wall of mist appeared around the battlefield. A demon reached it and tried to claw right through, but the stuff was as thick as steel and as squishy as a beanbag chair. Even demons and angels working together couldn’t get through.
“Trapped!” Lilith snarled, her hands balling into fists. “That bitch! Our forces won’t be able to dent her, but she still won’t let them go…”
“Luke!” Christina cupped her hands around her mouth, struggling to shout over the crowd. “How can we help you!?”
“Just get away!” I told my harem, gesturing toward a corner of the battlefield. “Hide, so Titania can’t focus on you instead of me!” I smirked. “Sit back and enjoy the show!”
My girls grinned and winked as they scattered. They split up, avoiding Queen Titania’s gaze as best they could as the big monster stomped across the battlefield. Each step left a deep imprint in the muddy soil, a footprint large enough to play hopscotch in. The monster moved with no regard for the people beneath it, whether they were on the same side or not.
“I think they’re clear,” I said, turning back to Lilith and Holofernes. “Shall we?”
Together, the three of us soared into the air. It felt intensely strange to have both Headmistress and Headmaster at my side as I ascended, rising higher and higher as we rode the updrafts to climb Queen Titania’s massive frame.
As we climbed, I kept my eye out for weak spots. Maybe all of this was feeling a little bit too much like Shadow of the Colossus, but I had the distinct impression Queen Titania was trying to conceal something. Like Achilles, she looked utterly invincible—but there had to be a weak point somewhere.
“Foolish,” the Dark Queen chuckled, swatting at the three of us as if we were no more than inconvenient flies. “Don’t you see that I am the utter master of this Realm? I will give you one last chance to surrender, Luke. Bow to me, and I will grant you the power you seek—!”
Her words were cut off by a beam of pure flame. My pitchfork erupted with primordial power, the air itself igniting along the path of the beam as I silenced Titania with an attack no other demon could produce.
“Bitch, I already have all the power I could want!” My heart thundered in my chest, all my adrenaline firing at once. Fuck, I felt pumped! “You’re going to die here, Titania! Your reign is at an end!”
With that opening salvo, the Dark Queen got serious. She grabbed at me as I soared past, trying to catch me in her fist and crush me like a bug. I twisted at the last moment, slipping through her fingers, and was rewarded by a cry of pure frustration from Titania.
Holofernes opened up with lightning, while Lilith wielded pure primordial flame. I’m not sure if it was her strange anti-halo or the bond with me that had powered her up, but the Headmistress of the Celestial Academy was even more vicious and feral than usual. God-killing amounts of power flowed through Lilith’s demonic body, tearing her clothes to shreds as she threw fireballs at the towering giant.
Lucky for us Holofernes was so single-minded. Even I couldn’t keep my mind fully on the battle—Lilith’s jiggle was too distracting.
The Angel of Vengeance unleashed a flurry of lightning bolts as Titania swung at him, then got right up in her face. His flaming sword struck again and again, slicing off bits of her moss-covered skin. I doubted it was much more than a nuisance for a creature the size of Titania, but it focused her attack like nothing else. The Titan ignored Lilith and I entirely, allowing us to pepper her with fire spells while she swatted at the angel in front of her face.
Then Titania got a hand around Holofernes. She plucked him from the air like a grape off the vine, squeezing with a vicious expression on her face. The Angel of Vengeance slammed his flaming sword through Titania’s palm with all his might, the point ripping through to the other side. Still Titania squeezed.
A blinding flash filled the battlefield, and suddenly the Titan screamed.
“Let him go!” Lilith roared.
She’d formed her power into a flaming hand, almost as large as Titania’s, and had wedged it in between the giantess’s own fingers. The burn seared Holofernes, covering his marbled skin in soot—but the Angel of Vengeance’s body was stone. Titania’s was flesh—and that flesh burned.
Lilith grabbed Holofernes and dragged him away, moving smoothly aside as I fired another beam of primordial power from my pitchfork.
“You know, it was always your side with the proverbs,” the demoness quipped as she helped Holofernes back into the fight. “But that one about ‘a cord of three strands is not easily broken’—I’m starting to think your boss had the right idea with that one!”
Our combined attacks weren’t enough to kill Queen Titania. Not in this form. B
ut we could harry her senseless—and from the epic temper tantrum the Dark Queen had begun to throw, we were getting under her skin. Both literally and figuratively. She couldn’t catch us, she couldn’t kill us.
“We’re not locked in here with you!” I roared, remembering a line from one of my favorite comic books. “You’re locked in here with us!”
Queen Titania leaned b
ack, blinking in confusion. Clearly, she was not a woman of culture.
The Dark Queen began moving backward. Each of her steps shook the ground like an oncoming storm, scattering angels and demons still trapped on the battlefield.
I caught flashes of wings and horns, faint screams carried on the wind.
We needed to end this fight soon.
The longer it went on, the heavier the casualties would be on both sides.
I pulled back to confer with Holofernes and Lilith for a moment. “We need to find a way to combine our powers,” I said, glancing down at my pitchfork.
Three tines, three fighters.
There had to be something to that—it was too much of a coincidence to not make sense.
“Lucifer said I had to progress down three paths in order to succeed him as the Lord of Hell,” I said.
“Mine,” Lilith snapped, “the cloudsitters…” She thrusted a clawed thumb at Holofernes, “…and the Fae Realm. We know—it’s the path every Lord of Hell must walk. Lucifer never shut up about it. What are you getting at?”
I shook my head, feeling on the cusp of a great revelation. “Three paths, three Realms, three powers,” I said, gesturing at my triple-tined pitchfork. “Maybe, if we all struck Titania at once, we could—”
I didn’t get any further than that. A wave of green energy washed over the battlefield, stealing the energy from my limbs. I began to fall, Lilith and Holofernes tumbling right next to me, and slammed into the muddy ground with more annoyance than pain. Taking us out of the air was only a mild setback at best—what was Titania playing at?
Then I realized. Making her enemies temporarily earthbound wasn’t an attack. It was merely the side effect.
The wave of green energy became a fan that raked across the battlefield, spilling from Titania’s open, screaming mouth. That scream rose in pitch and volume until it shut out all other noise, forcing the scattered demons to throw their hands over their ears even as they ran for their lives.
“Fuck,” I screamed soundlessly, digging my thumbs into my ears. “She’s got a fucking laser!”